Parents Added Pressure for Young Gymmies

[Azgymmiemom]

I feel you are doing the right thing...please test her and move her to the gifted classes if she belongs there. Work your gym schedule around that...she's talented and the coaches will adjust so she can make it work (they won't want to lose her OR your money!!)

You as a teacher realize this...her education must come first...I know she is young yet, and to that extent, there's no need to rush it, but it's best if she forms good study habits now that will carry over into the future. Same with gym...she's young yet...no need to rush it.

Also, since gym is such an uncertainty when it comes to the future, it is best to build gym around education and not the other way around.

Sounds like you are on the right track and just needed confirmation.
Good luck to your dd and you...and keep us posted on how she likes her new schooling!!

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

RANT WARNING::::: I definitely agree that the NCLB is a complete mess!!! It just infuriates me to see the teachers busting their butts and become so stressed out over trying to make sure that the students pass whatever State mandated testing is required in order to "comply" with NCLB. It is a joke. So while all the test prep goes on in the spring, not much real learning goes on. It is all geared towards passing the test.. including multiple practice test sessions, based on last year's released tests, etc. It is a complete shame, yet if the teachers classes don't pass a certain percentage, they are deemed unqualified teachers. This applies even to classes that have a large population of special ed. kids in the class... and of course, many of those children that are mainstreamed now should be in a self contained classroom b/c they are severely autistic, ED, Down Syndrome, whatever. It is a fact. Many of these kids have intellectual disabilities that do not allow them to fully participate in the curriculum, yet they are in the regular classroom. We call it "babysitting!" O.K.... I'm off of my rant for now.

But back to the original post: There are many educational opportunities out there for you and your DD. Everyone here has made wise suggestions: I would definitely check out the GT testing first. It would be nice if your child could be in a program like that one that is run here in No. VA. The kids are taken to a GT Center one day each week from 4th grade through middle school. The only downside is that they miss that day of instruction in their home schools, yet they are expected to make up that work as well. For most, it's not a problem though. Once they hit high school... then they can choose their honors or AP classes, so it's really much more challenging to them than the regular "Academic" classes, yet they get to stay at their home school.

Your DD is still young enough that a lot of the enrichment can come from other sources other than just school, and if the GT Center doesn't look like something you'd pursue, I'd definitely just enrich her on my own. She still needs to be a kid foremost and above all the rest.

Kids grow and learn at their own rates... just because a child may be performing way above grade level at a young elementary age, doesn't mean they will continue to do so, and conversely, someone who may be slow to get started, may be a race horse by the end of 5th grade. I've seen it happen both ways MANY TIMES.

Good luck w/your DD. She will be fine whatever you decide to do re: her education simply because you are an involved and concerned parent.

 

[Ingwe]

I would definitely check out the GT testing first. It would be nice if your child could be in a program like that one that is run here in No. VA. The kids are taken to a GT Center one day each week from 4th grade through middle school. The only downside is that they miss that day of instruction in their home schools, yet they are expected to make up that work as well. For most, it's not a problem though. Once they hit high school... then they can choose their honors or AP classes, so it's really much more challenging to them than the regular "Academic" classes, yet they get to stay at their home school.

This is how it is run in our district as well. All 3 of my kids have been(are) in this program (the oldest being in 9th grade this year) and we have found that it works out very well.

My Dd goes to Gym 20 hours per week, and is in the GT program and she has managed so far. She is still in elementary school so the HW has not been an issue. It will be interestng to see how she handles middle school, GT, and Gym next year though.

I think you have gotten a lot of great responses and I hope it all works out for your DD.

 

[gymjourneymom]

Not to go off topic here, but if gymnasts don't have a pressure release valve...they will create one! Most commonly fear issues & mental blocks. But it can become much more serious such as eating disorders, cutting, etc. Yes, the pressure on young girls today is very scary.

As we try to plan for our DD's futures, we all need to keep in mind that this is their childhood & should be filled with FUN memories. Yes, is it wonderful that so & so's DD can do this or that "before anyone else". But does she have too??? And in ALL areas of her life??? (gym & school & music lessons & language lessons, whatever???). The rest of the pack learns to read & write too(given proper teaching) & at that point it doesn't really matter who did it 1st does it? Slow & steady DOES win the race in the long run. The kids that will excel should be given fitting opportunities for that during school hours. Especially since they may be bored by the teacher having to teach the needs of lowest level child in the class(this is why I think gifted classes would be beneficial to your DD). But I don't believe they should be overly pushed, stressed or pressured beyond reasonable limits either. I don't believe in spending a lot of time & money to have my child tutored "extra" just to get her ahead of the pack(so they can say "Susie is the top of the gifted class"...yes people do it!?!). Enrichment opportunities are wonderful but I believe in all things in moderation. So many parents seem to have a "more the better" mentality now a days. Education should NOT be a race & neither should gymnastics...balance in ALL things is what I'm trying to teach my DD. Learning to balance it all, in a healthy way, is a skill she will need to get her through life. Sometimes tough decisions need to be made, because no one can do it all.

My DD is in highschool now & I'm trying to prepare her for SAT's, college & the work force later on. At this point no one cares that she was doing 6th grade math in 4th grade. Or that she was L5 state AA champ that same year. It just matters that she does well her classes this semester, which are a mix of AP, honors & college prep classes in 10th grade. And doing a million hours of gym wouldn't be condusive to that...so choices had to made. She is not taking ALL honors or AP classes. She could be, but I know her & I know that would have stressed her out too much. So I encouraged her to take a mix. Why would I push her to her breaking point??? She needs a pressure release valve & her less challenging classes give her that. I see some of her friends who took ALL honors & AP classes hitting that breaking point & it breaks my heart. I worry about them soooo much!!!! My DD has a mix of very challenging & some less challeging classes and she is learning & thriving in the highschool environment academically & socially.

Plus, she still loves gymnastics and is on a low pressure/low hours team. A decision she needed to make to lower her stress level. She still loves the excercise & the mental challenge gymnastics gives her but on a less pressure fill route. Education will take her MUCH further in life than gymnastics & she knows that. So she had to make some tough decisions & it wasn't easy, but she did it. She is balancing school & gym & her social life all very well. I'm very proud of her!!!!

Just trying to give some parents of younger girls a glimpse into the future & how the path can change & may need to change from what you "assume" it will be at this point.

I just don't see an optional level gymnast(doing upwards of 20hrs/week at the gym) being able to handle the class load I know the gifted highschoolers at my DD's highschool handle. Something would have to give. Be it, less gym hours, less challenging classes or home/gym schooling. Seriously, there just aren't enough hours in a day to do it all & have some down time in there too for relaxing(let alone sleeping?!?). I feel so bad knowing my DD's friends are up until 1am doing homework on a nightly basis. How long can they keep that up???

Good luck with your decisons!!! And as TQM says, I'm sure your DD will thrive just because you are already a concerned & involved parent!

 

[MdGymMom01]

Not to go off topic here, but if gymnasts don't have a pressure release valve...they will create one! Most commonly fear issues & mental blocks. But it can become much more serious such as eating disorders, cutting, etc. Yes, the pressure on young girls today is very scary.

As we try to plan for our DD's futures, we all need to keep in mind that this is their childhood & should be filled with FUN memories. Yes, is it wonderful that so & so's DD can do this or that "before anyone else". But does she have too??? And in ALL areas of her life??? (gym & school & music lessons & language lessons, whatever???). The rest of the pack learns to read & write too(given proper teaching) & at that point it doesn't really matter who did it 1st does it? Slow & steady DOES win the race in the long run. The kids that will excel should be given fitting opportunities for that during school hours. Especially since they may be bored by the teacher having to teach the needs of lowest level child in the class(this is why I think gifted classes would be beneficial to your DD). But I don't believe they should be overly pushed, stressed or pressured beyond reasonable limits either. I don't believe in spending a lot of time & money to have my child tutored "extra" just to get her ahead of the pack(so they can say "Susie is the top of the gifted class"...yes people do it!?!). Enrichment opportunities are wonderful but I believe in all things in moderation. So many parents seem to have "more the better" mentality now a days. Education should NOT be a race & neither should gymnastics...balance in ALL things is what I'm trying to teach my DD. Learning to balance it all, in a healthy way, is a skill she will need to get her through life. Sometimes tough decisions need to be made, because no one can do it all.

My DD is in highschool now & I'm trying to prepare her for SAT's, college & the work force later on. At this point no one cares that she was doing 6th grade math in 4th grade. Or that she was L5 state AA champ that same year. It just matters that she does well her classes this semester, which are a mix of AP, honors & college prep classes in 10th grade. And doing a million hours of gym wouldn't be condusive to that...so choices had to made. She is not taking ALL honors or AP classes. She could be, but I know her & I know that would have stressed her out too much. So I encouraged her to take a mix. Why would I push her to her breaking point??? She needs a pressure release valve & her less challenging classes give her that. I see some of her friends who took ALL honors & AP classes hitting that breaking point & it breaks my heart. I worry about them soooo much!!!! My DD has a mix of very challenging & some less challeging classes and she is learning & thriving in the highschool environment academically & socially.

Plus, she still loves gymnastics and is on a low pressure/low hours team. A decision she needed to make to lower her stress level. She loves the excercise & the mental challenge gymnastics gives her. But education will take her MUCH further in life than her gymnastics & she knows that. So she had to make some tough decisions. But she is balancing it all very well. I'm very proud of her!!!!

Just trying to give some parents of younger girls a glimpse into the future & how the path can change & may need to change from what you "assume" it will be at this point.

I just don't see an optional level gymnast(doing upwards of 20hrs/week at the gym) being able to handle the class load I know the gifted highschoolers at my DD's highschool handle. Something would have to give. Be it, less gym hours, less challenging classes or home/gym schooling. Seriously, there just aren't enough hours in a day to do it all & have some down time in there too for relaxing. I feel so bad knowing my DD's friends are up until 1am doing homework on a nightly basis. How long can they keep that up???

Good luck with your decisons!!! And as TQM says, I'm sure your DD will thrive just because you are already a concerned & involved parent!

GJM--I so want to thank this post 100 times!!! You summed it up beautifully! Although my dd has just started middle school, I am starting to see the workload, responsibility and social activities increasing and like you said, something has got to give. I also, live by the motto of Balance is Everything, and am often re-evaluating things each year. That's why I don't really look at gymnastics or any other activity that the kids are doing in more than yearly increments because you never know what will happen.

 

[bpatient]

gymjourneymom made some excellent points.

… I think maybe you should look ahead a bit at where your different roads will lead. Education is the 1st priority to me. But your DD loves gymnastics, I get that...really I do!!! So if your DD sticks with gymnastics(at her current gym) & does the gifted program how long will she be able to keep up that pace?

You also asked:

Has any parent faced with this taken it upon themselves to challenge at home? If so what did you do?

This is what we've done:

The gifted program in our area provides somewhat more challenging class work and access to specially-trained teachers, but some kids want or perhaps need something more. Since my wife and I both work, we weren’t able to schlep dd over to the junior high for the more advanced course work offered to her when she was in the GATE program in elementary school, nor were we able to drive her from the junior high to high school classes (the GATE program here offers separate classes for grade school through high school kids, but no magnet schools); accordingly, we’ve tried to provide some additional enrichment opportunities at home. For example, last year, while she continued to study Spanish at school, she worked through the first year and a half of the introductory high-school level Mandarin course on her own, and she was able study in a college-sponsored program for gifted kids over the summer break. I’ve provided more challenging math problems each week for years (when she was young many of the problems involved our cats, and she liked to have cat pictures on every page), and for several months we’ve been enjoying our joint effort to learn art history together in the mornings. Reading has been easy in all respects except for content: a librarian with a daughter like mine recommended fantasy as a safe harbor for kids who read well beyond their grade level, so, for example, dd read the Lord of the Rings series in third grade (and again in fifth grade) but she’s just reaching the typical coming of age material; adult nonfiction also works for her. The kind of support we’ve provided has changed with the years, and by the time she reaches high school I suppose we’ll be mostly in cheerleading mode as she takes off on her own. I do think, though, that she wouldn’t have been able to sustain her extra academic efforts if she’d done as much gymnastics training as some girls do; we’ve consistently and intentionally limited her practice hours, skipped practices entirely or gone late to practice to accommodate her homework or just to give her some down time, and, when she was younger, picked her up early from gym due to practice hours that worked well for the older kids at her level but not for her.

One more thing. gymjourneymom also wrote:

I just don't see an optional level gymnast(doing upwards of 20hrs/week at the gym) being able to handle the class load I know the gifted highschoolers at my DD's highschool handle. Something would have to give.

That would certainly be true for my kid, if not for all kids. YMMV.

 

[NewtoGym]

After being on this board for a few months I am beginning to think that I have the only non-exceptional child on the board! lol. She is exceptional to me, does fine in school and gymnastics, but is not a standout. Sometimes I feel that maybe this is a blessing that I can just enjoy her and let her enjoy school/gymanstics/life without any added pressure because there is already so much just being a kid now-a-days. Good luck to your little girl. I am sure she will do great in either educational arena. I was curious though if her gym hours will go up since she is moving up soon to level 6? That might be something to think about if she goes the gifted route as well.

On a side note...My daughter's fav disney girl just went off to rehab for eating disorders/cutting. She is only 18, but has had so much pressure it seems since she started out on Barney. Sad, they seem to have it all, but they just don't have a chance at what they probably want most - childhood.

 

[MdGymMom01]

On a side note...My daughter's fav disney girl just went off to rehab for eating disorders/cutting. She is only 18, but has had so much pressure it seems since she started out on Barney. Sad, they seem to have it all, but they just don't have a chance at what they probably want most - childhood.

Hi NewtoGym and welcome to CB! That story about Demi Lovato broke my heart. She is still so young to be dealing with those issues and all in the public eye. I also heard that she had some bullying issues in middle school that forced her mom to homeschool her. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family and hope that she gets the help that she needs. Being a teenager these days seems like it is so much harder then when we were their age. The pressure to succeed has always been there but it seems like in today's society the pressure is even greater.

 

[lilgymmie7]

These last two posts hit exactly at why I am so torn. I DON'T want my DD to feel that kind of stress. If I could, I would shelve stress for her and deal with it all myself. But I know of the importance of teaching children how to deal with their stress. It is a valuable life lesson.
I am so abundently grateful for everyone's response! I have so many perspectives to sift through, all of which will allow me to make a better judgement call on behalf of my DD.
I do not want to add to her pressure she already is feeling. At this point she really is oblivious to the fact that already she is doing more than some kids her age. To her, it is all routine. My fear is adding another element and what it will do to her. As a teacher, her education is precedent. However, I have seen first hand what taking a 'love' away from a child can do to the child. I pulled my older DD from gym completely because her grades began to suffer. To this day she does credit me for taking her love- gymnastics away. I don't want to make the same mistake again. This is such a fine line.
I right now understand that I have to talk to her teacher about all of this point blank. My goal is to keep the 'love' for learning that this child has intact. I don't want her to give up per say on her academic potential. I also know that I have to do what is in her best interest and does not 'weigh' her down.
Again, thank you everyone! I never imagined to get this much support! I know now why I joined here in the first place. We have the best, most knowledgeable, caring parents/coaches, etc. on this board!!
And to those parents that said that about me-THANK YOU, but sometimes I feel more NARROTIC!

 

[gymjourneymom]

These last two posts hit exactly at why I am so torn. I DON'T want my DD to feel that kind of stress. If I could, I would shelve stress for her and deal with it all myself. But I know of the importance of teaching children how to deal with their stress. It is a valuable life lesson.
I am so abundently grateful for everyone's response! I have so many perspectives to sift through, all of which will allow me to make a better judgement call on behalf of my DD.
I do not want to add to her pressure she already is feeling. At this point she really is oblivious to the fact that already she is doing more than some kids her age. To her, it is all routine. My fear is adding another element and what it will do to her. As a teacher, her education is precedent. However, I have seen first hand what taking a 'love' away from a child can do to the child. I pulled my older DD from gym completely because her grades began to suffer. To this day she does credit me for taking her love- gymnastics away. I don't want to make the same mistake again. This is such a fine line.
I right now understand that I have to talk to her teacher about all of this point blank. My goal is to keep the 'love' for learning that this child has intact. I don't want her to give up per say on her academic potential. I also know that I have to do what is in her best interest and does not 'weigh' her down.
Again, thank you everyone! I never imagined to get this much support! I know now why I joined here in the first place. We have the best, most knowledgeable, caring parents/coaches, etc. on this board!!
And to those parents that said that about me-THANK YOU, but sometimes I feel more NARROTIC!

I agree with you about teaching children how to deal with stress. It is an important life lesson that will follow them through their whole lives. Anyone who has followed my post over the years knows my DD has struggled with fear issues & mental blocks for quite some time. These are her release valves, her way of gaining control when she feels the pressure is too great. And as you refer to your older DD, if I took gymnastics away from my DD she would forever blame me for pulling her out. Yes, she has anxiety & perfectionist issues, but working through them in gymnastics is therapy for her! To take that away from her would send so many wrong messages. She loves gymnastics!!! So she made changes that work for her. Cut back to a less intense program. Misses practice if she has a lot of school work(coach is fine with this). She has found the right balance for HER & for that I'm proud in so many ways!!!

And as I said in my prior post, I didn't allow her to take all of the honors classes she was recommended for this year. I wanted her to have balanced teenage life, so I encouraged her to give herself a break. Now I'm soooo glad I did, seeing how her friends are fairing. Teaching our kids to realize when to say "Enough! I need a break" is soooo important. They need to KNOW that they can come to their parents & be open about these feelings of stress. So many kids will do anything to please their parents, they will take on much more then they really should. We need to be their watchdogs & set HEALTHY goals & limits for them. So they can learn that they don't have to PERFECT at everything 24/7. I KNOW I'm not perfect by any means, so I certainly don't want my DD to feel she has to be.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

After being on this board for a few months I am beginning to think that I have the only non-exceptional child on the board! lol. She is exceptional to me, does fine in school and gymnastics, but is not a standout. Sometimes I feel that maybe this is a blessing that I can just enjoy her and let her enjoy school/gymanstics/life without any added pressure because there is already so much just being a kid now-a-days. Good luck to your little girl. I am sure she will do great in either educational arena. I was curious though if her gym hours will go up since she is moving up soon to level 6? That might be something to think about if she goes the gifted route as well.

On a side note...My daughter's fav disney girl just went off to rehab for eating disorders/cutting. She is only 18, but has had so much pressure it seems since she started out on Barney. Sad, they seem to have it all, but they just don't have a chance at what they probably want most - childhood.

Newtogym, your daughter is not the only non-exceptional child !!! my DD is 10, in 5th grade. Gets A's& B's, but has to work for them. Younger kids in gym are passing her by, but she holds her own ok.

She is exceptional to me and that is all that matters

 

[bogwoppit]

It seems that sometimes when people want to offer advice they offer up their kids as examples. It can sometimes read like Grandma's Brag Book on the CB. But I can assure you that there are lots of normal kids and parents here doing their thing and moving along.

Perfectionism and pushy parents can have terrible effects in a childs teen years, it is always good to take a step back and ask who wants what and why. Bright kids do not always end up on top, sometimes the pressure is too much and they do not meet their full potential. The Demi Lovato story is certainly one to take to heart, poor child.

We will all make our own choices in the short time we have our kids at home, hopefully they involve a lot of fun. When my son left home for school last year, I was very glad we had played hookey to ski, to travel all over the place and sometimes to do some enrichment of our own when he was younger. Lots of great memories for us both for sure. 18 years just fly by and I have never wished he had spent more time in school or doing homework.

 

[lilgymmie7]

After being on this board for a few months I am beginning to think that I have the only non-exceptional child on the board! lol. She is exceptional to me, does fine in school and gymnastics, but is not a standout. Sometimes I feel that maybe this is a blessing that I can just enjoy her and let her enjoy school/gymanstics/life without any added pressure because there is already so much just being a kid now-a-days. Good luck to your little girl. I am sure she will do great in either educational arena. I was curious though if her gym hours will go up since she is moving up soon to level 6? That might be something to think about if she goes the gifted route as well.

On a side note...My daughter's fav disney girl just went off to rehab for eating disorders/cutting. She is only 18, but has had so much pressure it seems since she started out on Barney. Sad, they seem to have it all, but they just don't have a chance at what they probably want most - childhood.

I am sure that your DD is quite exceptional! Every child is in his/her own way. I never have thought of my children as being exceptional in all respect of that word. They are my deep loves and are special for who they are. Each child has his/her own unique intricacies all their own. When I posed this question, I was merely attempting to assess my own predicament of having to make a decision to have her tested or not. As her mother, I owe it to her and the Lord to raise her with all the best possibilities that are under my control. Because, I am a constant worrier about,"Am I doing all I can..." for each of my children, I am constantly assessing and reassessing.
Every being on this earth has a purpose. When dealing with children that purpose is under the guidance of the parent or adult figure in their lives. Please, I deeply apologize if I came off the wrong way.

And when she moves to level 6, her hrs will stay the same. The level 5 and 6's train together. Thank you for being so kind!

 

[bpatient]

It seems that sometimes when people want to offer advice they offer up their kids as examples. It can sometimes read like Grandma's Brag Book on the CB.

I didn't mean to extol my kid's virtues so much as to directly address lilgymmie7's specific question regarding how any of us challenged a child academically at home; she asked 'what did you do?', and I explained just what we did, and that we chose to limit gym time so that we could do it. Sorry if that offended anyone.

 

[NewtoGym]

I'm not offended by anyone! Just interested and amazed by all our exceptional children.

 

[bogwoppit]

I didn't mean to extol my kid's virtues so much as to directly address lilgymmie7's specific question regarding how any of us challenged a child academically at home; she asked 'what did you do?', and I explained just what we did, and that we chose to limit gym time so that we could do it. Sorry if that offended anyone.

My comments were not directed at you, or in fact anyone in particular. THe CB has a culture of sharing kids successes, it is just the way it is. Like a brag book; it is not a negative. Often we notice the standout stuff more than the every day successes.

Every addition to the thread is a benefit to the OP as they give perspective and a broad range of solutions. It is my turn to say sorry if I offended anyone, that was not my intent.

 

[bookworm]

Well i feel like Johnnie Come Lately to the party but I'll add my two cents on this subject....my daughter has always been in a very rigorous private school since kindergarten and has been in gym in increasing hours all the way and has always done well...fast forward to high school, she is currently in the Honors program and doing well in school and training 25-30 hours a week...not specifically any gifted program but it has challenged her.

One of the benefits of her schools ( and there have only been two...K through 8 and then HS) have been that they have always been very accomodating to her gym schedule and she has always been very proactive about her work and we have made it work....so I guess I would have her tested and go from there ...my daughter tested into a higher math and we chose to back it down a little because thast was a subject that was the most challenging to her and she has been just fine...

I would resist the urge to homeschool if it's just to accomodate a gym schedule (and I know there are people who do it for different reasons)...when my daughter was doing elite the gym was pushing the homeschooling thing but it was never something that SHE wanted...even though she was in the gym endless hours, she wanted to be able to go to school with her buddies and some semblance of being "normal", as she put it. We never homeschooled and never regretted the choices we made for her as she's happy, healthy and on track for a college scholarship in the sport she loves!!

 

[lilgymmie7]

Thank you Bookworm for your response. No, I don't want to go down the homeschooling route. My family, like many others these days, needs the dual income in order to make ends meet. The only way homeschooling would come to play was if her current school was harming more than helping her academically. e.g.DD was doing subtraction and addition mentally in the shower last night. This was what happened in preschool. She catches on rapidly. But earlier this week and last, she was telling me she couldn't do it. I know she can.
I want to have her tested merely because of opening doors to her academically. As a six yo gymnastics is a big part of her life, but this kid is so eager to learn. She is still definitely my baby, but she has so many qualities of a much older child. This is a factor I credit to gymnastics. It has helped to create a responsible, hard working little girl.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

I'm just weighing in here again... Yes, you need to have her tested. Then you can make some well informed decisions about her education. If you don't have her tested, you may very well kick yourself in the behind in retrospect!!!

 

[Billy]

I'm just weighing in here again... Yes, you need to have her tested. Then you can make some well informed decisions about her education. If you don't have her tested, you may very well kick yourself in the behind in retrospect!!!

I agree. You lose nothing by having her tested. Then, once you have the results of the testing, you can make a well-informed choice in her best interest.