Am I Lying To Her

[Shelovesthebars]

My 5 year old dd is working hard in the gym. She really tries to get better and better at the skills she is working on. She notices when someone is doing something she wants to be doing and works like a dog to get the skill. Sometimes she asks me if she will get better at it with work and I always tell her that her hard work will pay off.
For example- She can do one great press by herself but wants to do 2, 3, 4 in a row like the older girls without stopping . She can do a lot in a row till the cows come home if she has 2 fingers on her back. I tell her that if she keeps working, she will get better and better. Is what I am telling her true or will it be harder as she grows? She is on the small side. Her friend that is also a gymnast is one inch taller but 14 lbs heavier if that puts it into perspective. Is her lack of muscle mass a problem? She has always been super strong for her size.
I am only asking because I want to be encouraging but also realistic.

 

[Granny Smith]

I always believe that hard work pays off and I think it creates great work ethic.

I think it is perfectly acceptable to encourage your dd, she does have the 1 press - before you know it she will be doing multiple presses. It takes time and practice. Honestly, if she does multiple presses with a minimum touch than she is probably doing them on her own, but she is lacking the confidence. Once she realizes she owns the skill, she'll silence all of your doubts.

 

[flipper's fan]

There is actually a snippet of research in a book called Nurture Shock that demonstrates kids improve when they are told that they are working hard and tend not to improve when over praised or told that they are smart. It appears that kids who are told they are smart or good tend to avoid situations in which they may be wrong and may not take risks or believe they can improve. Kids who were told that they are working hard were more willing to take risks and to work hard to accomplish the tasks in the study.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

no, you're not lying. she's 5.

 

[NotAMom]

At 5, yes because you want to keep things simple. When she gets closer being a teenager, then add in a dose of reality.

 

[10.0]

Of course you are not lying, hard work always does pay off. It may not pay off in the way you hoped or in the time span you would like but somehow someway it always does. Maybe she won't get those press handstands but maybe all the time she devotes to trying with help her have the strongest arms and the best vault. You would be lying if you told her she was going to have a double back by weeks end or something

 

[Megley]

You aren't lying to her. Will it some day be harder to do presses because she is much bigger - maybe, but that won't be for another 10 years. In the meantime, she most assuredly will get more presses with practice. My dd started the year with around three and now is up to nine. If you are lying to your dd then I'm lying to mine when I tell her (which I do all the time) that she will get (insert skill that now seems impossibly hard to gymmie) if she works hard and practices. I suppose the day will come when all the work in the world won't make the skill happen, but at age 5 your dd is nowhere near that point.

 

[NGL780309]

Of course not! I always tell my DD that and it's true. She doesn't stress too much about getting any skills. I have to say I love that about her. She's always happy and I think she gets things faster than her older teammates because she never thinks too much.

A little off subject, but DD is working on her presses too. She can press up fine, but then she just lets herself fall down quickly. To me if she can press up she can come down controlled, but she just flops down and then resets for the next one. I can't do any press handstands, so I guess I shouldn't judge, but shouldn't she be working on coming down controlled and going right into the next one?

 

[cher062]

doesn't matter what age you are encouraging. I stil tell my 13yo that if she works hard she will eventually get it. and its true if they keep at it they will get the skills eventually - maybe not when they or we want it but they will get it. What I see to is one day they are struggling and then the next they all of a sudden have it. Confidence is the key too.

Don't worry about a 5yo encourage her to dream big. Sheesh the next thing you will be telling me there's no Santa and I know my mom told me he was real LOL .

 

[Shelovesthebars]

Funny Cher062! My son will be 12 the week of Christmas and he still thinks Santa is real!

 

[cher062]

Funny Cher062! My son will be 12 the week of Christmas and he still thinks Santa is real!

LOL both my son and DD thought he was real through about 10 yo because of the way we presented it but at 11 and 12 they werent sure and would do little test like not tell me one of the things they wanted but of course they would tell grandma and she would tell me. This year DD knows for sure

 

[Tuduri]

Talking common sense to your five year old daughter is not lying. Giving encouragement to her is your obligation as a mother. Could you imagine yourself saying to her, "don't bother working hard, it won't get you anywhere"? Now, wouldn't that be a lie? Isn't such encouragement so fundamentally true that it should not even be doubted? It would seem that a five year old who can do a press handstand seems to be ahead of the game. Good for her. With practice she'll undoubtedly do many more. What you should be concerned with in the long term is 'strength to weight ratio' so that she can maintain her ability to do multiple press handstands as she grows older and gets heavier. But press handstands isn't all about strength. Technique has something to do with it. When my DD, years ago, was stuck at two, one of her coaches suggested she lean forward just a tad and presto she could do five. Hard work does pay off on press handstands, especially with good technique.

Julio Garcia,
Jamy's dad