Parents Am I overprotective?

[AndieRose]

I haven't posted in a while but I just want you guys to tell me if I'm being overprotective. I have one recreational gymnast (11) and a TeamGym gymnast (6). Basically, my husband was going to take our girls to practice and his friend called to hang out. My hubby was going to have him go with him and the girls and I said I think it's innapropriate and the other parents might not appreciate it. He doesn't get why I think it's not okay. I assume that most men would be a little weirded out by going to a place where young girls and some older (2 -17) are barely dressed and doing flexy things, even if you're there as a friend. My hubby says it's no different than a meet, where all kinds of friends are there. I say no, but I don't know why. Maybe because a meet is open to the public and they're in uniform and "on", meaning they're expecting to be watched. IDK, maybe I'm just overprotective. Any advice? Oh, and I don't feel the same about women friends or other practices we do (volleyball and soccer), I know it's unfair, but these are my feelings right or wrong, rational or irrational.

 

[gymcat]

Not all men are creeps (the cast majority of men are not) and I would be highly offended if someone suggested it would be inappropriate for my husband to accompany his friend to their child's practice. It is insulting to both the husband and friend.

 

[AndieRose]

Not all men are creeps (the cast majority of men are not) and I would be highly offended if someone suggested it would be inappropriate for my husband to accompany his friend to their child's practice. It is insulting to both the husband and friend.

Okay, thanks. This was just my gut reaction. I just assumed that it would make other parents, particularly those of older gymnasts, uncomfortable. I have to admit, if my daughter were 14 or older, it would make me a little nervous.

 

[gymgal]

yes, over protective. What if it were your brother or brother in law or father? How is that any different than a close friend of your husband? We have males watching practice at dd's. I assume they are all fathers but I don't know for sure, nor do I really care. Obviously they are there for someone. As long as they are not acting weird.

 

[AndieRose]

yes, over protective. What if it were your brother or brother in law or father? How is that any different than a close friend of your husband? We have males watching practice at dd's. I assume they are all fathers but I don't know for sure, nor do I really care. Obviously they are there for someone. As long as they are not acting weird.

Thanks. I do trust the guy, I'm just thinking about it from the other parents perspective. They don't know him at all. You know? Just overthinking, I guess.

 

[munchkin3]

I think most people would find gymnastics very interesting. I'm sorry if you feel that men should not watch female gymnasts.....I guess I should not watch the young men either.....without their shirts.......my thoughts? They are boys.
C'mon, seriously? Maybe your husband wanted to proudly show off his DD?
I think you are being a tad judgemental about men.

 

[AndieRose]

I think most people would find gymnastics very interesting. I'm sorry if you feel that men should not watch female gymnasts.....I guess I should not watch the young men either.....without their shirts.......my thoughts? They are boys.
C'mon, seriously? Maybe your husband wanted to proudly show off his DD?
I think you are being a tad judgemental about men.

Thanks for your advice. Sorry. I wasn't trying to be judgemental. I really do need to check my reactions because I was victimized as a child and I have a skewed perspective. I tend to be overprotective, but I don't think all men are creeps, it's just easy for me to overreact when it comes to this issue.

 

[Faith]

Yep, you're a bit irrational. What is so wrong with a bloke keeping his mate company while he effectively runs an errand? Unless you have a history which is skewing your view of normal.

My friends often come with me to drop the kids of at gym. Sometimes we watch and chat, sometimes we go for coffee.

 

[AndieRose]

Yep, you're a bit irrational. What is so wrong with a bloke keeping his mate company while he effectively runs an errand? Unless you have a history which is skewing your view of normal.

My friends often come with me to drop the kids of at gym. Sometimes we watch and chat, sometimes we go for coffee.

Okay, thanks. I do have history and I know I have a skewed perspective, which is why I asked. Thanks again!

 

[txgymfan]

Thanks for asking! You know you have a unique perspective, truthfully, we all do about something. Talk to me about child abuse and you will get a highly informed and emotional response. Others have strong reactions about injury prevention or alcohol. It's important to know our bias and not to let it skew to irrational actions and words.

I do agree with the others, the guy going to practice is fine.

 

[munchkin3]

Andirose, sorry about sounding harsh, especially if you have a history.
Just remember, most people are good, kind, courteous people. I'm sure your husband would never put his kids in danger, or hang around 'bad' guys......

 

[DefiniteMaybe]

FWIW, I don't think you are being irrational or overprotective. I don't have a history, but all the stories I've heard over the years have made me way less trusting of people. I'm not saying you're right or wrong, but I think it's reasonable to wonder if it might appear a little creepy to have a random man in the gym watching practice. I'm sure it's perfectly innocent, but I think a lot of parents could potentially think that was a little strange. Unfortunately, there are a lot of weirdos out there, and that causes many parents to be weary. And, as a side note, in all my years as a gym parent, I've never seen a dad bring his buddy to watch practice, so, if I'm being completely honest, it might strike me as a bit weird if I walked into practice and saw that.
But, honestly, if you guys know and trust him, maybe just don't worry about what other parents think. Or maybe they could just watch part of practice and go grab a bite for the rest of their hang out time.

 

[MeetDirector]

Overprotective to the max! As a gym-dad, I am astounded at your blanket assessment of men. Shocking, just shocking. If your husband wants to be proud of his girl by showing what an amazing athlete she is to one of his buddies, he should be allowed to do that. I would have ignored your opinion and brought my buddy anyhow.

 

[AndieRose]

Okay, thanks everyone. I guess my experiences as a child make me a little more paranoid than I thought. Sorry I offended everyone. It really was an honest attempt to ask if I was was overreacting and I guess I was. I don't hate men or think they're all creepy, I was just trying to be sensitive to other parents. Thanks again, for your help.

 

[AndieRose]

Thanks for asking! You know you have a unique perspective, truthfully, we all do about something. Talk to me about child abuse and you will get a highly informed and emotional response. Others have strong reactions about injury prevention or alcohol. It's important to know our bias and not to let it skew to irrational actions and words.

I do agree with the others, the guy going to practice is fine.

Thank you!

 

[AndieRose]

Andirose, sorry about sounding harsh, especially if you have a history.
Just remember, most people are good, kind, courteous people. I'm sure your husband would never put his kids in danger, or hang around 'bad' guys......

It's okay. I know I'm a bit of a freak about this.

 

[AndieRose]

FWIW, I don't think you are being irrational or overprotective. I don't have a history, but all the stories I've heard over the years have made me way less trusting of people. I'm not saying you're right or wrong, but I think it's reasonable to wonder if it might appear a little creepy to have a random man in the gym watching practice. I'm sure it's perfectly innocent, but I think a lot of parents could potentially think that was a little strange. Unfortunately, there are a lot of weirdos out there, and that causes many parents to be weary. And, as a side note, in all my years as a gym parent, I've never seen a dad bring his buddy to watch practice, so, if I'm being completely honest, it might strike me as a bit weird if I walked into practice and saw that.
But, honestly, if you guys know and trust him, maybe just don't worry about what other parents think. Or maybe they could just watch part of practice and go grab a bite for the rest of their hang out time.

Thank you for trying to understand, I appreciate that!

 

[AndieRose]

Overprotective to the max! As a gym-dad, I am astounded at your blanket assessment of men. Shocking, just shocking. If your husband wants to be proud of his girl by showing what an amazing athlete she is to one of his buddies, he should be allowed to do that. I would have ignored your opinion and brought my buddy anyhow.

Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. It was an honest question. Thanks for your response.

 

[needcoffee]

I don't think you're being overprotective at all. I'm actually a bit surprised by the replies. I think it's very good of you to consider other parents feelings on matters like this, not everyone has had the same childhood and there are some parents who would feel uncomfortable about it.

I wouldn't mind as such, I know not all men are creeps. But to be honest I might wonder why a man with no relation to a child in gymnastics would want to watch a practice. I do have a history and my world view is slightly jaded.

 

[AndieRose]

I don't think you're being overprotective at all. I'm actually a bit surprised by the replies. I think it's very good of you to consider other parents feelings on matters like this, not everyone has had the same childhood and there are some parents who would feel uncomfortable about it.

I wouldn't mind as such, I know not all men are creeps. But to be honest I might wonder why a man with no relation to a child in gymnastics would want to watch a practice. I do have a history and my world view is slightly jaded.

Thank you! I'm sorry we seem to have a common history, but I'm glad you understand my POV. It's hard to tell sometimes when I'm being crazy or cautious!