Be careful what you say...

[justanothergymmom]

...You never know who could be listening!

A very funny thing happened to me at a meet, that I thought you all might get a kick out of...

We were watching some of my DDs' teammates competing recently, and in the bleachers there were 3 parents and a coach from another gym (sitting right behind me!) discussing MY DD and one of her teammates' routines at their state meet!

This coach was telling these 3 parents that she knows that the gymnasts from XXXXX gym always score well on xxxxx(event)...so she watched them at states on that event. She even mentioned their scores!!!! She said it is no wonder that they do that well because their routines show little difficulty...that they do the bare minimum, and that they will be in for a shock when they hit the next level....

I sat there biting my tongue and laughing quietly with another mom that was sitting next to me. This coach was blatantly lying-- as my DD and her teammate actually have more difficulty than required for their own level! Teammate's routine actually already meets all requirements for the next level!...my DD has one simple skill to add in and she will be all set!

I actually found myself feeling bad for these parents that they were being lied to (for what reason I have no clue!), and for the coach, that she felt the need to lie to the parents! I am sure she had absolutely no clue, that there was any chance at all, that the parent of one of the children she was discussing would be sitting SMACK IN FRONT OF HER!!!!

LOL!!!!

 

[gymgurl]

That is too funny, but there is a lesson to be learnt from that

 

[kimskids]

That is funny!! LOL! Reminds me of my SIL who comes to all my daughters meets and very openly says what she thinks. She is a very matter of fact person and sometimes I find myself wanting to shush her and find myself looking around and hoping no one she is discussing is around!

 

[J&A's mom]

There were parents behind me at state complaining about one of my son's teammates floor scores. I have it on video(my son was competing at the time). I had to do a song recording over my video so the teammates' parent didn't hear what was said about her son.

 

[my4buffaloes]

This reminds me of why I hate taking my mother-in-law to any of my kids sporting events. She talks about the other kids the entire time in a loud voice and it is so embarrassing! I try to keep my remarks positive or not at all. Wouldn't it be great to hear other parents saying positive things about your gymnast?

 

[Esoteric]

I actually had something like this happen at our own gym! DD and a teammate came in on one of their normal off days to share a private for an uptraining skill. The private took place just before the pre-team practice. A couple of the pre-team mums came in towards the end of the private were trying to figure out who the girls were with the coach. One identified dd's blonde teammate incorrectly, at which point I turned around and and told the woman that it was not the gymmie she thought it was. Before I could identify dd and her teammate or get another word in, I was immediately dismissed and told that she KNEW it was, in fact, a particular girl. (Which it was not.) I turned back around and decided to ignore them. The interrupting mum then told the other mum that the brunette, (dd,) must be just a school friend who came along for fun because she obviously had no gymnastics background or talent! It took every ounce of restraint not to turn around and kick her in the uterus. I just got up and walked away, because I knew if I opened my mouth- all hell would break loose.

 

[Danica76]

I was just saying to DD's HC last night that I have not seen any other sport bring out the crazy in people like gymnastics does. There is one particular mom who said some mean things about my DD at a few meets this season who is lucky to still have her uterus. My meditation had to be, "this is about my DD, don't allow this person to ruin it for her". This mom rolled her eyes at me last night when I said hello to her at the gym! Some people are just miserable human beings. Thank goodness I am not one of them.

I hope this isn't OT, but I am an officer in the booster club and just sent out an email this week to the rest of the officers about doing a parent info night this summer for the new team parents and returning team parents. There was so much drama and general nastiness of this kind with the first year parents this past season (I was a first year parent too!) and I think we need to negate as much of this as we can. Not that everyone will listen or apply any of it, but if we can even get a handful of parents on board, then I will be grateful! It really affects the girls on team when the parents act like idiots.

 

[GymBee97]

Sometimes you just can't fix stupid

 

[profmom]

Well, it can work the other way too. Last weekend my DD had a meet in town for once, so my in-laws came. When the girls were doing their floor routines, I was going on to my MIL about one of my DD's teammates along the lines of, "Oh, you really have to watch this girl go -- she is completely unbelievable, absolutely breathtaking out there, her huge straddles, her beautiful front tuck, blah, blah, blah," not realizing that I was talking way too loudly and her mother could hear me!

 

[Coach.Simon]

told the other mum that the brunette, (dd,) must be just a school friend who came along for fun because she obviously had no gymnastics background or talent! It took every ounce of restraint not to turn around and kick her in the uterus

I logged in just to say LOL

You displayed amazing self discipline

 

[iwannacoach]

Sad as it is, some people just have to give their "self esteem" a boost by ripping some other kid. I can imagine how shocked esoteric was when this self agrandized pre-team mom started talking so much trash, even after being corrected regarding the blond child's identity. I'll agree with gymbee97's quip that "you can't fix stupid", but will never understand why these people insist they be allowed the time and place to put theirs so proudly on display. Jeez!, Momma Gump had it so right when she said..."stupid is as stupid does".

On the bright side? These insanely insensitive, ignorant people give me a sense of personal joy and solace, and remind me it can be the simple thinks that are most treasured and celebrated. So I try to remind myself of the simple treasures when encounters like this happen, that I am not them, so with a look of bemusement I'll turn around and shake in barely suppressed chuckles.....and let them walk away.

Oh yeah, that whole bit about getting kicked in the uterus......I get the whole abberation of motherhood statement, but I still have to say.

 

[Kiwi]

Well, it can work the other way too. Last weekend my DD had a meet in town for once, so my in-laws came. When the girls were doing their floor routines, I was going on to my MIL about one of my DD's teammates along the lines of, "Oh, you really have to watch this girl go -- she is completely unbelievable, absolutely breathtaking out there, her huge straddles, her beautiful front tuck, blah, blah, blah," not realizing that I was talking way too loudly and her mother could hear me!

You might have made her day! Made a proud mum even prouder! I wouldn't worry too much about being overheard saying positive things.

 

[CreateMagic]

Well, it can work the other way too. Last weekend my DD had a meet in town for once, so my in-laws came. When the girls were doing their floor routines, I was going on to my MIL about one of my DD's teammates along the lines of, "Oh, you really have to watch this girl go -- she is completely unbelievable, absolutely breathtaking out there, her huge straddles, her beautiful front tuck, blah, blah, blah," not realizing that I was talking way too loudly and her mother could hear me!

I say, please loudly point out good things! Can you imagine how good that made the mom, and prob later the daughter, feel? I always like to hear good things recognized and talked about

 

[Bajanswife]

Another positive example of this: at our recent meet I was one of the organizers. I was cornered by a man I don't know after the level 4 floor routines - he wanted to complain about the floor judge, how she was way too harsh with her scoring. I started to give him a non-committal answer to get rid of him, and he went on to give me an example. He started to describe a gymnast that could only be my DD, saying that he could not believe her score, that she should have gotten a 9.7, that the scoring was really unfair, she was an amazing gymnast and deserved much higher blah blah blah. I just smiled and gave him some diplomatic answer or the other and escaped - I didn't tell him he was talking about my DD! But I was very proud to hear his comments, even though he was wrong - I could see pretty much all of the 0.55 deductions that she got, and I thought the judge was very fair.

 

[Flippers Mom]

Be careful what you say

The mother of flippers teammate sits beside me at meets and tells me that her daughter is better than Flipper and that the coaches tell the judges to give Flip better scores. Seriously! Does she really think that would work?! On the other hand, while I had this mother complaining on one side of me, I heard some parents from another team watching Flipper vault. They made some really nice comments about her power and form. I shared the other team parents comments with Flipper.

 

[Kiwi]

The mother of flippers teammate sits beside me at meets and tells me that her daughter is better than Flipper and that the coaches tell the judges to give Flip better scores.

Now that is just silly! This person is delusional!

 

[marie83]

Ugh! One of the "new" parents at our gym decided to moan about our club to another parent in the toilets during a competition. Little did she know she was talking to one of the other parents from our club who absolutely loves the club and coaches. This mum recognised the parent she was talking to, and promptly came back into the competition hall to tell us!

We talked to the parent the next day at training and she was more than a little embarrassed. We explained that she should never speak to other parents that she doesn't know about her grievances, especially at competitions where she is putting our reputation at stake, but rather come direct to us so we can help.

On the flip side, I was judging at a competition last weekend and the head judge on my table really complemented the gymnasts from my club - she didn't know where I was from at that point. Later on at lunch we were talking and she asked which my club was, and I told her. She repeated her positive comments about our gymnasts and was really surprised when she found out how few hours they train. It was really nice to hear - especially as she judges for the top club in our region whose coaches usually have massive egos and won't speak to anyone else!

 

[jsfofec]

One thing DD coach reminds all parents each season, "Watch what you say at meets, you never know who's listening. If you don't have something positive to say, then just don't say anything at all". The gymnastics world is very small, and talk bounces around from gym to gym faster than a virus.

 

[justanothergymmom]

One thing DD coach reminds all parents each season, "Watch what you say at meets, you never know who's listening. If you don't have something positive to say, then just don't say anything at all". The gymnastics world is very small, and talk bounces around from gym to gym faster than a virus.

A message to this effect is in our handbook. Parents are expected to be positive representitives of our club when they are in the bleachers. The part that is so shocking about what was being said about my daughter, is that although parents were involved in the conversation, it was being led by the coach! Sometimes parents' emotions can get the best of them at a meet, but coaches should know better to keep their mouths' shut...especially when they are wearing a jacket that has their club's name on it!!! I know exactly who these people are--coach and parents!

 

[iwannacoach]

I don't think it's too often you'll find a coach having conversations of this sort, either in the open or behind closed doors. Good coaches like to leave those discussions up to the "scoreboard", and would be ashamed of any coach guilty of smearing that much lipstick on a pig. It sounds to me the coach in the bleachers comes from (or owns the aforementioned pig) the rare gym that attempts to fool all of the people all of the time by running an agressive "hotshot program". These rare programs are designed to peter out about 4 years after their participants started leaving their "pampers" at home.

When these hotshot, devo, J.E.T. , and my very favorite, C.O.M.E.T. participants go beyond the "pig's" intended competition levels where it's easier to train a few extra hours and win team competitions at levels 4 and five. As the demands increase at level six and seven, their performances decrease while the excuses increase. The result is coaches making statements to validate Suzy's inablity to kip, and to cast blame on the other gym's training philosophy. So when you overhear these rare instances out there in the bleachers, feel free to set the record straight if you care to, but be prepared to walk away as the "poser" and his/her kool-aid guzzling loyalists launch into a sermon about how it's not your place to critique their program in the same manner they allow themselves to "analyse" your daughter's routine.