WAG Can't believe this! Horrible!

[Lucy's Mom]

Ok so I'm going to keep it short but I would like opinions. Is this acceptable from a coach?


-12 year old level 9 gymnast is on beam.

-They have routines.

-Coach has them do routine after routine after routine (to the point where she was tired, in my opinion this is tough but that's not the problem.)

-Gymnast misses foot on back hand spring lay out step out series and knees her nose.

-Coach raises voice and says it's not acceptable and that she should never ever fall on that skill.

-Gymnast is crying and has a terrible nose bleed.

-Couch laughs angrily.

-Gymnast runs to bathroom where she continues to cry and bleed.

-Gymnast is in bathroom for 15 min. holding tissue to nose and crying.

-Gymnast goes to the lobby still crying and wanting to go home.

-Coach goes to her and tells her she has to work out.

-She comes in and goes to next event where her group is.

-Coach yells at her that she has to stay on beam.

-She stays on beam but does basics and skills on the floor, still crying.

-Coach lets her go to another event after being on beam for 2 rotations.


I think this is horrible and can't believe that happened today. The girl is 12 for crying out loud! Am I exaggerating? Opinions welcomed.

 

[DND]

Seems harsh to me...was it to make sure she would go again and not let fear set in or just being CGC?

 

[bogwoppit]

If that is what happened it is not okay no matter how old she is. Blood always requires an injury report and not laughter.

 

[Lucy's Mom]

That's what happened... Bogwoppit. Margg I have no idea what his intentions were.

 

[Natasha]

Is this the same coach that kept your daughter on beam for an entire practice? IF this is actually what is happening I would encourage you to continue to think about whether the risks to your daughter's well being (emotional and physical) is really worth sticking with this gym. Your daughter spends more time with this adult than any other adult in her life which means that he will have great influence over her overall development, how she views herself, etc. Would you accept this behavior from a school teacher or other adult authority figure? Why do we as parents put up with it from coaches?

 

[DND]

Sounds like the CGC, but I was trying to see both side of the coin and give the benefit of the doubt. Reading the other post about 6 hours on one event...well not much to say really. Well maybe run away as fast as you can!!!

 

[bogwoppit]

Would not let that happen to my kid. Wouldn't trust a coach like that with my hamster.

 

[Lucy's Mom]

I feel so stuck... Yes it was the same coach.

 

[Amusibus]

Boooo!!!!! Mean coach! I know a gym switch is not to be taken lightly, but I'd totally leave.

 

[Natasha]

I know you said the other gyms do not have as big of teams, as nice of equipment, or as many coaches, but you may need to take a look at them and see if they are emotionally healthy places to be. Yes, your daughter may not be as "successful" as a gymnast at the other gyms, but the "success" may come at great cost- the podium placements will mean nothing down the line if your daughter is worse off after her gymnastics career ends because she has been emotionally abused.

 

[Lucy's Mom]

I know you said the other gyms do not have as big of teams, as nice of equipment, or as many coaches, but you may need to take a look at them and see if they are emotionally healthy places to be. Yes, your daughter may not be as "successful" as a gymnast at the other gyms, but the "success" may come at great cost- the podium placements will mean nothing down the line if your daughter is worse off after her gymnastics career ends because she has been emotionally abused.

Do you believe this is emotional abuse? I never thought of it that way. Just thought he was a jerk... Weird thing is, he can be the greatest coach you will ever meet on some days. Hugs and encouragement. But on bad days things like this happen.

 

[DND]

Do you believe this is emotional abuse? I never thought of it that way. Just thought he was a jerk... Weird thing is, he can be the greatest coach you will ever meet on some days. Hugs and encouragement. But on bad days things like this happen.

Isn't that the same questions/thoughts that abused wives ask all the time?

 

[GymBeeMom]

Emotional abuse is a big accusation, and may or may not describe this coaches methods. As a parent, trust your own gut about your own daughter's well being in the environment she is in. This behavior from the coach sounds reprehensible but there are cases where it sounds worse than it is. Without being there to see for myself, I cannot advise anything other than to go with your mommy intuition on this one.

 

[gymdog]

I think you know this is not okay. However I am not really sure what advice to offer since you made it clear on the other thread that you cannot move gyms. I wouldn't usually recommend this, but given the scenarios you have witnessed, I would stay and watch the entire practice and be prepared to remove your child if necessary.

 

[iwannacoach]

I want to chime in here........ I offered an opinion on the "six hour" that left room for the question "is this being done for her" because there are some kids that respond to the "challenge/oppositional" style of coaches. Having read what's happened post fall and bleeding, I wish to leave very little room....about as much room as a grain of rice takes up in the pantry.

I just can't think of a constructive purpose for the way the coach reacted. Sure, setting the bar for performance in the range of we don't miss the beam or we don't fall on that skill is reasonable, but delivering the message while the kid is trying to recover her wits is just plain stupid and wrong.

I'd add abusive if I knew all the details and could reasonably conclude the coach is in a world all his own where he can do and say anything he can get away with just to prove he can. The coach treated your daughter treated badly, and it should not be accepted as the norm or anywhere near the norm.

The thing to do......talk to the coach, no matter how intimidating he? is. Make it plainly understood that to this point you've felt he was working with and for your daughter and she was working with and for him, but the six hour beam tour the other day seemed unproductive and punishing, and to be followed with a crass disregard for your daughter's injury (coulda been a broken nose) in such short order leaves you wondering if he has any idea what his behavior really looks and feels like.

If that offends the guy, too bad.... he needs to find a new way of laying down the law, lest someone show him how the law may view his approach.

 

[Linsul]

As a parent I would run away were that at my kids gym, no sense in sugar coating it. I tell the parents face to face if a band-aid comes into play; and injury report follows if I ever have to get bag of ice, let alone a knee to the face and the following bloody nose. The laughter part is really disgusting. I know I'm not perfect and prone to frustration but I can't even begin to imagine laughing at a injured bloody kid. You seem to be mulling over a gym situation with stories that get progressively worse, if you need a sign then this one is neon and flashing.

Edit: to be perfectly clear: I would sooner transition my child to a life minus gymnastics than condition her to accept this treatment as safe, fulfilling, or acceptable.

 

[gymmomof1]

I'm with iwannacoach with talking to the coach about the incident and see what he says. Also I would stay and watch for awhile to see how it goes. Trust you gut on this.

 

[mimi]

I'm sorry but if this happened exactly as you described, this has crossed the line imo. If this was truly my only option for gyms, I hate to say it but I think I would be looking into other extracurricular activities for my child. It is true that gymnastics is hard, and it is not always rainbows and butterflies, but at the end of the day, a child's after school activity is supposed to build self-esteem and confidence. I'm not sure that will happen under this coach.

I know you said you feel as if you can't talk to the coach, but is there a gym owner that you could bring this to? Also, is this happening to your dd, or another team member? If it is not your dd, have you talked to her about how it makes her feel to witness this kind of treatment? I think it would be helpful to get her talking to you about it if she isn't already. Good luck to you--I'm so sorry that you are in this predicament.

 

[beamer]

Time to go.

 

[LizzieLac]

My biggest concern is that she was bleeding and he never went to check to make sure she didn't break her nose or that the injury was not serious. That is negligence.