WAG Changing Gyms - how do you know?

[Traci]

Trying to decide if it is time to change gyms...not many options so if we leave - coming back won't be an option.

DD is a level 9 and has issues with one of her coaches. They do not respect each other - and my DD feels she is not qualified.

The other gym is new - not very well established...

How did you know when the time was right?

 

[Deleted member 18037]

If your daughter has no respect for her coach and feels she is unqualified . That is a huge problem................

 

[duyetanh]

If they dont respect each other, it is not a healthy environment. Nor is it a safe one at that level.

 

[tuckfull]

Is it just the one coach that there is an issue with? Is she happy with her other coaches, her teammates, hours, progress, etc? Is it possible to sit down and have a heart to heart with the coach to work out any differences and get on the same page? If that is an option, I would start there and see if things improve. Switching to a new, not well established gym as a level 9 could be great - or it might not be. How did the other gym do at States/Regionals this year?

 

[Traci]

Is it just the one coach that there is an issue with? Is she happy with her other coaches, her teammates, hours, progress, etc? Is it possible to sit down and have a heart to heart with the coach to work out any differences and get on the same page? If that is an option, I would start there and see if things improve. Switching to a new, not well established gym as a level 9 could be great - or it might not be. How did the other gym do at States/Regionals this year?

She likes the other coaches and the head coach is the "carrot they dangle in front of us" because he is good - problem being - this coach is the main coach for the girls... I have a meeting with the head coach of the gym and the owner.....we will see... Most of the parents feel this coach is not qualified....but we all feel stuck. The new gym did well at State and Regionals and has one girl going to Easterns (as we do).... Just the unsure as to what road is best....

 

[thefellowsmom]

We had to make a move. My dd is also a level nine. My daughter was very clear with me that the previous gym and the head coach there were not providing her with the working environment or results that she was looking for. There was a basic and fundamental difference in philosophy.

My daughter and I did sit down with the owner and coach and my dd was very clear about her reservations about the program and what her goals were. We were gracious and complementary to the best of our ability, but when we left the meeting my dd was very adamant that it was time to go and now.

There was definitely a clarity that came from the meeting and I was able to tell them that we were going to plan on exploring other options, which did make things easier when talking to other gyms.

Things happened much more quickly than we expected, but it was worth all the scariness and stress for sure. She is much happier and in a WAY better gym now. She is supported and trained and her talent is nurtured in all the ways she needs.

There is way more to it than just results (although results are important to) and what a program looks like on the outside may not be what it actually is on the inside and programs change and ones that used to work don't now and kids change and grow up and what once worked for them may not anymore.

At this point in their careers I think they tend to know what they need pretty well. This is where I would start. What are her goals? What does she need from a coach? Does she feel it is possible at current gym? At new gym? What do you know about new coach? Do you have any avenues to find out more about new program and coach? Make lists, have multiple discussions, make her think deeply about this. It can be scary for them to think about all this but at this level this really needs to be their decision unless there is abuse or an unhealthy environment that as a parent you need to protect her from.

Then I think you end up in three scenarios...

1. You know for sure you want to leave and you set it up with the new gym.

2. You are pretty sure you want to leave but feel you owe it to current gym to talk to them first. Set a meeting.

3. You really want to try to work it out with current gym before making a decision. Set a meeting.

Unfortunately, in any of these circumstances you need to be prepared for current gym to ask you to leave. It may or may not happen, but you need to be prepared.

I wish you all the luck in the world with your decision and keep us posted!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

She likes the other coaches and the head coach is the "carrot they dangle in front of us" because he is good - problem being - this coach is the main coach for the girls... I have a meeting with the head coach of the gym and the owner.....we will see... Most of the parents feel this coach is not qualified....but we all feel stuck. The new gym did well at State and Regionals and has one girl going to Easterns (as we do).... Just the unsure as to what road is best....

Happy to hear you are having a meeting . Hope that resolves everything

 

[Traci]

We had to make a move. My dd is also a level nine. My daughter was very clear with me that the previous gym and the head coach there were not providing her with the working environment or results that she was looking for. There was a basic and fundamental difference in philosophy.

My daughter and I did sit down with the owner and coach and my dd was very clear about her reservations about the program and what her goals were. We were gracious and complementary to the best of our ability, but when we left the meeting my dd was very adamant that it was time to go and now.

There was definitely a clarity that came from the meeting and I was able to tell them that we were going to plan on exploring other options, which did make things easier when talking to other gyms.

Things happened much more quickly than we expected, but it was worth all the scariness and stress for sure. She is much happier and in a WAY better gym now. She is supported and trained and her talent is nurtured in all the ways she needs.

There is way more to it than just results (although results are important to) and what a program looks like on the outside may not be what it actually is on the inside and programs change and ones that used to work don't now and kids change and grow up and what once worked for them may not anymore.

At this point in their careers I think they tend to know what they need pretty well. This is where I would start. What are her goals? What does she need from a coach? Does she feel it is possible at current gym? At new gym? What do you know about new coach? Do you have any avenues to find out more about new program and coach? Make lists, have multiple discussions, make her think deeply about this. It can be scary for them to think about all this but at this level this really needs to be their decision unless there is abuse or an unhealthy environment that as a parent you need to protect her from.

Then I think you end up in three scenarios...

1. You know for sure you want to leave and you set it up with the new gym.

2. You are pretty sure you want to leave but feel you owe it to current gym to talk to them first. Set a meeting.

3. You really want to try to work it out with current gym before making a decision. Set a meeting.

Unfortunately, in any of these circumstances you need to be prepared for current gym to ask you to leave. It may or may not happen, but you need to be prepared.

I wish you all the luck in the world with your decision and keep us posted!

Thank you for the input. I have asked a thousand times over - what do YOU want to do - and she isn't sure. Her goal? College... While I know the odds of that are slim - I am supportive. I have always said, my job in all of this is transportation (too young to drive) and money.... she blames the "coaching" on her not having a great level 9 season (last year was her first year at l9 but had a broke foot and this year). but I pointed out to her that coaching is only partly responsible.... But if she is having issues with one of the coaches - and the coaches don't believe in her....why should she believe in herself? Her confidence has really taken a dive -- but the owner says that is normal at this level of gymnastics....

 

[gymnastics24.7]

I would try out the gym for a trial. See how she likes it.

 

[e'smum]

I would try out the gym for a trial. See how she likes it.

around here, gyms will call each other and let the "old" gym know they have one of their girls trying out. so it might be best to let them know you are exploring other options if you do that.

 

[flipster]

Listen to your gymnast!