Coach Problem

[superflipgirl]

Well, I have mentioned that I had a kind of mean coach, but I haven't mentioned this situation yet. A few months ago, we had a team holiday party. At all our gym parties, we are allowed to do whatever you want in the gym. But at the holiday party, my coach said not to go anywhere because there was a schedule that we have to follow. Now, there has been a schedule at some of the other parties, but no one really ended up following it. She said we were going to tumble trak, and I thought it would be okay because I could work on whatever I wanted, but when anyone did something on the tumble trak, she was CORRECTING US ON OUR SKILLS! The whole reason I came to the party was to have fun, not have an extra workout! I have 2 other coaches, but they also coach a pre-team at our gym and they were busy with the pre-team. My mean coach got mad when everyone was asking what we were going to do tonight, so she finally said "I'm not going to say it again! You'll do this and this and this and then just GO HOME!" It was miserable. Every other team at the gym was following the schedule, but they were having fun! I was crying the whole way home, and when I got home, I actually considered quitting because of the coach. She has been very mean in the past. She would yell at us when we were too scared to do certain skills. She would make us do 10 PUSHUPS just if we fell off the beam during warm up. And one time we were on the tumble strip, which is right next to the spring floor where some other girls were practicing, and she said that if anyone stepped on the spring floor, even by accident, everyone had to do pushups. My other coaches weren't aware of how she was treating us. Anyway, after winter break, I heard some news that she was going to quit coaching our team full time because of her job! I actually was kind of relieved that I wouldn't have to see her again after the miserable holiday party. Last weekend, however, she was at the gym, but she was substituting as a coach for another team. I tried to avoid her, I didn't want to have to talk to her. I haven't seen her at the gym since, but I heard some bad news the other day at practice. I have finally overcome my fear of jumping to the high bar, and I can finally compete on the high bar at our next meet. When I was doing it, my head coach(who is very nice, not like the other coach!) said good job, and then she said that the other coach will be so surprised, and I was thinking, oh no, she's coming back? And then the head coach said that she was coming next month to coach us for the month! I don't know what to do, I don't want her to coach me again, and I know I can't go every practice without having to talk to her at least once!

I'm sorry for the length of this post. I do know I am overreacting about not wanting to talk to the coach again. But does anyone know how I feel, and agree that this coach has been nasty in the past? Please help me!

 

[TuesdayPillow]

It sounds like perhaps she does go a little overboard in her methods BUT one thing I can tell you - the way you perceive your coach and the attitude you have towards her colors everything. You can't walk around calling someone "the mean coach" and expect to feel good about anything you do with her. You already have it set in your head that she is the "mean coach" and nothing can be accomplished with her.
I am not saying I would want to coach like her BUT, in life we encounter people of all personality types and with coaches and teachers, some are more severe than others. Some have rules that seem strange, others have rules that seem normal. Many convey thoughts and opinions by speaking quietly, some by being loud (and others think it's yelling) and some use their hands to speak, or examples, or visuals. You need to take what you can from this coach and try to use her strengths to make you better. Having a poor attitude towards her all the time will never make your experiences better with her. Try to understand her and look at her from a different perspective. She may not be perfect, she may be very severe, but she also may be a good coach and know what she's talking about.
Are you perfect? Would everyone you coached like you? Maybe, maybe not. We have to remember coaches are human, too

 

[GetaGrip]

I have experienced a not-so-nice coach before also. But I've also experienced a really nice coach just having a bad day and the differences weren't so great. However, this doesn't sound like the case. It seems that your coach thinks that you are there to learn and go farther in gymnastics. Not to have fun. Period. A lot of coaches have this viewpoint, and that is why a lot of girls end up quitting. My coach from my previous gym was like that too. I would want to have fun, but instead I got conditioning. About your other coach coming back, I've also had to deal with this. I got my round off on the high beam for my level 7 meet, and I knew then that I had a chance at a 10.0 SV. I was super excited, but also super scared that my old coach would start yelling at me and asking why I did a round off and not a back handspring. But instead of getting caught up in what my coach would think, I did my routine to the best I could, stuck my round-off, and got an 8.825. And instead of criticism, my old coach said: "Good Job!"! I couldn't believe it, but I worked hard, and I got it! So instead of worrying about your mean old coach, just worry about the skill. Or better yet, don't worry at all! Oh, and about the push-ups, he would make us do the same thing, only 100!

-Lauren

 

[superflipgirl]

Thanks for the support. I will try to just go with the flow!

 

[Aussie_coach]

The things you are saying don't actually sound too bad.

Its very normal to have to do 10 push ups if you fall off beam. Lots of coaches and gyms use it to motivate the girls to stay focussed on beam. 10 push ups isn't too much, and its for strength anyway so you get to get stronger at the same time.

The same for the coach saying that you would all have to do push ups if someone even accidently steps across the floor line. Again lots of coaches do this. It is to make people be more careful and more aware, and its for your own safety as well.

Correcting your skills when you were having fun on the tumble trak is not bad either. Its a sign that she cares. She wants to help you get better.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

Most of the time the coach is doing these things to help you, not punish you. I will usually start putting some conditioning between turns if the gymnast is not even trying to make the corrections I am giving.

On beam, if the girls seem to be having a 'loose' day in warm ups I will give the 5 push ups if they fall off - in fact most of ours go straight to push ups if theyvfall off beam in practice. I do however up it to 10 if they jump off the beam ( don't even try to stay on - drives me crazy - you at least have to try not to fall off !!).

I think it all has to do with perception. Try to take it as she is trying to help you be the best gymnast you can be. Push ups, V ups etc all make you stronger. Sometimes you will think more about making a correction or trying your hardest not to fall off the beam if you know there is extra conditioning. I think whenever possible the 'punishment' should be something that will help the person fix the problem - not just z random thing.

 

[superflipgirl]

Thanks for all the support once again. I am glad to know that most of you are being nice about the situation. This coach has been very nasty in the past though, I wasn't even sure if she liked coaching that much. If we made a mistake she would embarrass us in front of everyone. This one girl was about to get up on the high bar, she wasn't supposed to but I don't think she knew, and then the coach yelled her name and said "What are you doing, you're not supposed to be doing that!" EVERYONE in the gym was staring at her and I felt so sorry for her. When I used to be scared of jumping to the high bar, or doing a back walkover on the high beam, she would say "You're just being a big chicken! You've done it before, it's so easy!" Which would always leave me in tears. Thank god I have two other coaches, if she was my ONLY coach, I would have quit gymnastics a long time ago! Some of the worst are when she has been the only coach who came with us to meets, she would be in a good mood at the beginning, and at the end she would be so grumpy, wouldn't even clap for our routines at the last rotation, and get mad at us if we did something we weren't supposed to. At our first meet this season, everyone was exhausted afterward, and wanted to go home, but our coaches wanted to take a team picture, and when some girls were trying to leave, she said "Will you come back here just for one second so we can take one picture!" When I told my mom about her after the holiday party, even she agreed that she never really liked the coach that much she always thought she was grumpy. I know this doesn't have to do with gymnastics, but she was only in her 20s and near the time before she stopped coaching us full time, she would die her hair gray, which REALLY creeped me out lol!

 

[coachmolly]

It sounds to me from this and your other posts that you would rather do gymnastics for fun rather than to achieve a goal. There is nothing wrong with that, maybe you should seek out a rec. program or see if a gym in your area offers open gym.

I'm getting the same impression. The things your coach is doing don't sound that out of character for a team coach. It is her job to try to make you better gymnasts and to perform to the best of your ability, and sometimes that takes a little tough love. It's not always easy to deal with, but you just need to keep in mind that she's doing it to make you better.
The club I coach at has a "team" group which consists of 3 level 4s, a level 5, and the rest who are just there to have fun. It's a ridiculous grouping in my opinion, and I often find myself getting extra tough with them. As team level gymnasts, I expect more from them. I expect them to try their hardest not to fall on beam, especially on the easy stuff. I expect them to not be sitting around and chit chatting instead of keep busy with the drills I assigned. I expect them to try their best to make the suggested corrections. I expect them to know proper gym etiquette and not get in the way of others. If they are not meeting expectations, there are consequences. Not totally ridiculous, arbitrary punishments, but punishments to try to help get their focus back in the right place. I'll assign extra stations, make them go back to easier skills, have them work on flexibility until they have regrouped, etc.
I also do not tolerate athletes running in front of another group. It's not to be mean, it's for safety purposes. By interfering with the training area of another group, you are putting yourself and the other athletes in danger. This is something I try to stress from the beginner levels because it is essential. I correct a young beginner for doing this and I absolutely correct team level gymnasts for this. It is not out of the ordinary.
As for the open gym at the party, there are some gyms that do not let team gymnasts go to unattended open gyms for this reason. It's a good way to form bad habits and get injured.
It is not right for her to embarrass you or to ignore you at meets. I had a coach like that who would go days without making corrections, ignore us at meets, yell at us for stupid things (I get shaky and dizzy without eating for a few hours, it happened at a meet so I ate a healthy snack I had with me and she chewed me out). If she is being destructive for no reason, those are things that should be looked out for. Is this behavior frequent? Or just on a particularly bad day? Do the helpful corrections she gives you outweigh the less positive corrections?
My best advice is to go in with a good attitude. I can't speak for this particular coach, but most coaches really just want the best for their athletes and everyone uses different methods to get the best out of their gymnasts. What works for one gymnast doesn't always work for another and it really is a fine balance that can take a while to figure out for a coach. If when she comes back the negative, embarrassing comments and negative coaching are still a problem, I would say have a talk with your other coaches, the HC, or a gym owner about the problems. They might have some insight into the problem.
Just try to have a good attitude, see the good in her corrections, and try your hardest. If a gymnast is doing the things I tell her to, trying her best, and keeping a good attitude I can't complain, even if progress isn't being made quickly.

 

[CoachGoofy]

I'm very very very gentle as far as team coaches go, not all THAT far removed from being a teenage team gymnast myself, and...well, I don't really see what's the issue.

Every team I competed for, there were times where if you fell off the beam, it was pushups/situps/1 foot toe raises.

ANY of my classes walks through another class, they're in mega trouble. I don't care if it's big kids walking through little kids or little kids walking through big kids, that's just disrespectful and unsafe and you just don't do it. I understand not being able to do what I ask you to do gymnastically, but every kid I coach can absolutely be aware enough to not run through a class. Same goes for knowing the utter rule that you don't get on certain peices of equipment without a coach supervising. If a kid can't control these aspects of their behavior, a coach can't trust that they can control their body in the air...which is a stressful situation for the coach, by the way, since we do in fact care about our athletes' well being.

Part of team gymnastics is sometimes being told things you don't want to hear in ways that you don't want to hear it. That's how you progress.

 

[coachinkal]

As coaches we are responsible for ensuring that all gymnasts are safe.

Most gymnasts hate being made to do multiple pushups/vsits etc, or being sent to time out as a penalty. The penalty has to be something horrible otherwise the gymnast would continue to step on floor when others are tumbling or walk in front of vault. Same goes for things like running in the gymhall, or doing anything dangerous.

It is not that the coach is being mean, it is that the gymnast needs to understand the gravity of the situation. If you step on floor when someone is tumbling, or in front of someone vaulting then this could result in serious injury.

As for the coaches mood at competitions; I know myself that competition days are really exhausting. It is not just the gymnasts that get exhausted but coaches get mentally exhausted too. There is also quite a lot of behind the scenes organising that the coach is involved in too.

I can't see anything wrong with your coach wanting to take a picture at the end of the meet. I think this shows that she is really proud of you all and she wants to remember you all with a picture. I think that is really nice.

 

[superflipgirl]

Thanks for the support again, but some of you don't understand. I really think that sometimes she didn't want to make us a better gymnast, she really made many of us upset and crying after competitions or practices by calling us chicken or yelling at us if we made a major mistake in competition. You coaches might have a different opinion but I think that it wasn't a very positive way to coach and if I was a coach I would never treat anyone like that. My parents agree that she really goes overboard sometimes also

 

[coachinkal]

I agree that it is not appropriate for a coach to shout at gymnasts if they make a mistake at competition.

It is not uncommon for one of my gymnasts to get nervous at competition and forget something we have trained multiple times.

I certainly would never yell at my gymnasts for this. Sounds like your coach takes her coaching job very very seriously and wants the most out of every gymnast she coaches.

Have you ever talked to your coach about the way you don't like her shouting. Maybe she doesn't realise she is doing it?