Parents Do you have any regrets about competitive gymnastics? Any advice for new gym parents?

[thefellowsmom]

Everyone has given you such good advice and I don't have a lot to add but as everyone knows I am super long winded and I can't help myself sometimes so...

Gymnastics has been the most amazing thing for my daughter. I remember when she was three years old and she was taking classes at the little gym and she looked at me and told me that this was not real gymnastics and that I needed to find her somewhere to learn real gymnastics.

Now, my daughter is pretty soft spoken. At that age she wouldn't look an adult in the eye and had yet to speak to her preschool teacher several months into the start of the school year. So when she looked me dead in they eye and told me this I knew it was a big deal. The moment she walked into her current gym it was like she had found her home. Like Mary said, I can't imagine her not being a gymnast. It is who she is, in her soul. For us there was little choice, she has driven the process from day one and we are just along for the ride wherever it may lead to wherever it may end.

I know that so many parents here will say similar things. These kids are so special. This is a sport of passion and determination and courage and dedication, I think at a level that is not common in other sports. I have no regrets at all, not one. Not that that means it has been an easy road. Definitely not.

But with all that said, I can't imagine having to take it away from her for any reason. If you aren't ready to commit for the next 10 to 15 years then I would caution starting down the path and suggest maybe starting out in a less serious program. It's hard though, I get it. Starting out in a good program is really important too especially since getting going early is a huge advantage. Just think long and hard about what level of commitment you are willing to give to this because as everyone else has said, it is a lifestyle and all consuming. Everything in your life will soon revolve around the gym schedule. That part drives my husband insane.

I would also recommend looking into XCEL if the commitment scares you. This is an amazing program. Our XCEL team is as big as our JO team, maybe bigger It is a great alternative if money or time or other commitments are just too much for JO to be an option.

I will also say that it has been an amazing journey of growth for me as well. I am so thankful for what gymnastics has brought into my life. Aside from the momentous pride and joy I get from watching my child do something that she is passionate about, I have grown so much as a person as well.

It has been a huge life lesson of letting go for me. I am kinda a crazy control freak with a generally high level of anxiety and some social fears. As a parent you have little to no control in gymnastics. It's not about you and your opinion means little. Learning to trust her to do it on her own and trust her coaches to do what's best for my daughter has been a great lesson for me. This has brought out the crazy in me from time to time and I have had moments of distress that my husband just shakes his head at (and then gives me a big hug). But in the end, I am a stronger person because of it and I have learned that I can let go and just enjoy the rollercoaster ride. This chalbucket community has played a huge roll in that and I am so thankful to everyone here.

I am also now the booster club president. If you had told me this would be the case a couple of years ago I would have laughed you right out the room. The parents at the gym and that community have really brought me out of my shell and now I am a leader in that environment. I just can't believe it.

Good luck on your journey. Trust your gut as her mom, it will never lead you astray.

This community is a great resource. So glad you found it.

 

[JBS]

Any advice?

Fully commit...or don't do it at all...black or white...no grey.

 

[sjm2b3]

I guess we haven't done it long enough to have regrets--we are seeing the positive rewards already. I can tell you that I went to my 7 year old's first grade conference today and I am 100% certain that she is a better student because of gymnastics. There are two reasons--1) she is more focused, a better listener, and just follows directions well, and 2) she knows that if she has any behavior issues at school there will be no gymnastics. This also goes for my 8 year old 2nd grader--same things.

It does become the entire family's life quickly. Our weekends this fall and this winter have often included meets for one of the kids, and for DS it has meant out of state trips. My husband is constantly saying life revolves around gymnastics and it is sort of the case--I joke that the gym puts something in the water to make them want to be there constantly.

 

[profmom]

Two gymnasts, now with four years of team gymnastics for the older one, and no big regrets here, BUT a very important caveat: you are getting a biased sample of respondents. For the most part, the people whose children left gymnastics and who do have regrets aren't here to share their experiences.

The things my kids are learning that I see as most important will last a long time after the last back handspring or pommel swing. They've learned to work hard, not to expect instant results, to struggle through adversity, and to deal with fear. They've learned how to lose and a little bit about how to win. They are strong physically and mentally, and they aren't likely to get discouraged easily. Nothing they do in the future will likely take as long, be as hard, or involve as much repeated failure as learning a kip (DD) or learning a mushroom circle (DS). (I already have big plans for using that line when they hit calculus in high school . . .)

But, there has also been real pain and frustration, and some significant anxiety. We've spent a lot of money. We've been pretty lucky with coaching so far, but I know that's not true of everyone. Our kids are also both in exceptionally tight and supportive cohorts of teammates, but that is not a given in this individual and team sport.

For me, it's still too early to say for sure. It's like that quote from Aeschylus: call no man happy until he is dead. Our family's gymnastics story is still being written. I hope it turns out to be a comedy!

 

[gwenmom]

We're in year 5 on team and have absolutely no regrets about competitive gymnastics. My DD lives for gymnastics though and I can't imagine what life would be like without it. I wish I could find something that DS has the same passion for, but I think it's hard to find something that a child truly loves.

This is my one big 'regret' is that DS has not found his passion, unless you count video games. Because of this I spend a lot of energy trying to figure out how to show him he is just as important as his sister

 

[gymgal]

Two gymnasts, now with four years of team gymnastics for the older one, and no big regrets here, BUT a very important caveat: you are getting a biased sample of respondents. For the most part, the people whose children left gymnastics and who do have regrets aren't here to share their experiences.

The things my kids are learning that I see as most important will last a long time after the last back handspring or pommel swing. They've learned to work hard, not to expect instant results, to struggle through adversity, and to deal with fear. They've learned how to lose and a little bit about how to win. They are strong physically and mentally, and they aren't likely to get discouraged easily. Nothing they do in the future will likely take as long, be as hard, or involve as much repeated failure as learning a kip (DD) or learning a mushroom circle (DS). (I already have big plans for using that line when they hit calculus in high school . . .)

But, there has also been real pain and frustration, and some significant anxiety. We've spent a lot of money. We've been pretty lucky with coaching so far, but I know that's not true of everyone. Our kids are also both in exceptionally tight and supportive cohorts of teammates, but that is not a given in this individual and team sport.

For me, it's still too early to say for sure. It's like that quote from Aeschylus: call no man happy until he is dead. Our family's gymnastics story is still being written. I hope it turns out to be a comedy!

Sent from my AT100 using ChalkBucket mobile app

 

[vagymmomma]

This is my one big 'regret' is that DS has not found his passion, unless you count video games. Because of this I spend a lot of energy trying to figure out how to show him he is just as important as his sister

Wow, this sums up my situation! Video games is DS' passion and I always feel guilty dragging him around during meet season. We got him to commit to tae kwon do the last few years. He just got his black belt, so of course he thinks that means its time to quit ... sigh ... .

 

[Deleted member D3987]

in answer to your title...no, none whatsoever. it has been the best ride from childhood to oldhood that anyone could've ever asked/dreamed for.

 

[cbifoja]

DD is finishing up second year of competition so we don't have a lot of experience yet but so far it has been a very positive experience.

Physically, there have been no injuries or bad falls. She is strong, lean, healthy, and is learning the benefits of movement that I hope make her a life long exerciser. Mentally, she is learning perseverance, how to deal with frustration, losing and winning with grace, and how to overcome fears.

We have had some blips socially. DD is a bit younger than current teammates and can't deal with their remarks sometimes so resorts to making comments that get her in trouble. But when you have a middle school tween calling you a brat and rolling their eyes at you, sometimes all you have in your arsenal is "doo doo head".

I regret not getting her in ballet earlier and I regret not doing TOPS but those are so minor compared to everything I love. I love the travel and staying in hotels. I love going to meets and the people watching. I have made some very dear friends with coaches and parents.

 

[Mo's Mom]

I have 2gymmies competing right now - one just finished her third season, the other her first. Gymnastics is a major part of our lives now. Somehow it has taken over most of our "free time" and adjusted our schedule, vacations, and thoughts! I've been thinking about it in our current process of changing gyms, wondering when it took on such significance in our lives. Yes, it is expensive, but that's not the main challenge. Finding time to make sure all of my kids have a chance to get their homework done and checked (both gymmies & their brothers) is a challenge. Play dates with friends from school are nearly impossible to set up. Meals are done in the car on the way to practice, homework in the car or once we get home and kids are exhausted. And, of course, even gym schedules don't match so we'll be there every weekday with one daughter or the other. It is a major commitment of time, money, mental and physical energy. It also helps my kids immensely with their self-confidence and discipline. Plus it's great for every other sport they have tried. Not any real regrets, but I didn't have any idea what we were getting into when we got into this crazy world.

 

[emorymom]

Is there another outlet for her sports aspirations closer to home that you haven't tried yet? If you think gymnastics team is going to be a heavy burden on the family, I do recommend seeing if there is something else equally joyful and beneficial to do closer to home.

 

[htimcj]

I have no regrets neither does DD10 just finishing L6. We do only have one child so we don't have to worry about scheduling and carting around other kids and our gym is only 15 min from home and 5 min from school. It has taught her confidence, strength and given her a safe outlet to "fly".

 

[shelovestoflip]

No regrets....though I dont' think I went in with full awareness of cost and time involved. Honestly, though, I think that's a good thing...if I really thought about those factors, I might have said no!

As so many others have said, it's been great for my daughter (now 13 Level 8). She is a great student. She knows the importance of prioritizing her school work and getting things done efficiently. She has learned to plan ahead (meet this weekend, I better start 'x' now)

To the poster who commented about wishing your son would find his passion, I think something to consider is not all kids are passionate about any one thing. In fact, I wonder, perhaps, if what makes our children passionate about gymnastics is a personality trait that is particular to gymnasts, lol!

Honestly, I loved many things as a teenager and I was good at many things Art, music, social activism. It's who I was. Yet, I don't recall being passionate, necessarily. They were just things I loved and things I did.

Maybe we (society) has placed an emphasis on the whole passion thing...being a star at something .....the need for year round sports and excellence these days (gymnastics, I guess, has always been a year round sport, but soccer etc...that's all new...the specialization at such a young age.)

So maybe the tendency from parents (general here, not anyone specific) is to worry if their child isn't passionate these days....and maybe there's no need to worry! They're kids....they will grow up, potentially go to college, get a job and enjoy life.

Sorry for rambling....but I guess I'm just saying we all turned out ok and my guess is most of us parents (I'm not a 20something mom...so my generation anyway!), never specialized and probably never found a true passion till we were adults! I think it will all be OK!!

 

[sportyspice]

Both DD and DS have been in competitive teams for 8 years. I missed them heaps. They would train after school until 8pm then instead of enjoying them I would have to push them to do homework, have showers etc. Not exactly family time.

No family holidays. All spare money goes on traveling to competitions. No time to go away as may lose skills. I resented gymnastics as I wasn't allowed to watch practices either so couldn't even see my children.

I apologize for the negativity.

On a positive note, gymnastics did enable DS to cross over to weightlifting and be very successful. And I'm allowed to watch. DS flexibility, body knowledge and overall strength achieved through years in gymnastics has made this transition easy. Also DD always wanted for athletic teams, and had invitation for trampoline, diving and cheerleading teams. Just can't get DD to make transition to another sport yet.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

We have had some blips socially. DD is a bit younger than current teammates and can't deal with their remarks sometimes so resorts to making comments that get her in trouble. But when you have a middle school tween calling you a brat and rolling their eyes at you, sometimes all you have in your arsenal is "doo doo head".


Hehehehehahahaha!!!! My dd is in a group of girls aged 7-15. DD gravitates to the older girls and is picking up on way to much "tween" conversation for my liking. Girls can be so mean sometimes, even to those they consider friends. Our car rides home always include an overview of the nights discussions...much more than gym tricks. We've had some great learning opportunities about how to be a good friend and how to deal with negative situations. I don't think "doo doo head" has ever come up...but we are certainly stretching socially!

 

[wallinbl]

Like anything worth doing, it involves sacrifice. If it's a passion, that sacrifice is more than worth it. If it's not a passion, that sacrifice will probably tear you up. It's time consuming, expensive, emotionally hard, physically hard, and seemingly merciless. On the other hand, it's completely amazing.

It's like asking someone if they regret having kids. Of course they don't, but damn is it hard!

 

[ac7179]

Ask yourself if what you can get out of it is worth what your putting in to it.

Unless you're talking elite gymnastics or even college scholarships, then it's not worth trading a childhood for. My daughter likes gymnastics, but put her foot down about the training hours of a decent (not outstanding by any means) gym. She is a second grader, was training many hours a week after school, and at one point I had to get the owner because her coach was screaming at her across the floor in front of everyone, including Rec parents. Her crime? They switched from a spring floor to a cheer floor and it freaked her out so she paused between her round off and back handspring. In practice. Once. She was 7!

Now....my crime? Being disappointed, even for a millisecond that she wasn't "tough" enough for hardcore training at 7, as if that made her weaker or inferior than the others that seemed to handle it better. That is probably the most appalling thing to me, personally. Her gym had a "team kids are special" mantra (and they are!) and after I once expressed concern that, as a kindergartener, she wanted more time at home to play and I was told "if she wants to play she needs to go back to classes," I had a desire for her to see it through to kind of prove she was tough enough, which is completely ridiculous.

Thankfully this only lasted a week or two, but not my proudest parenting moment for sure.

Listen to your child. We are now at a gym with less hours, she is going to repeat 4 next year (I guess I mean do 3), and the pressure is off and it's fun again! And most importantly, mom has a whole new (healthier) philosophy!