Parents Ethics and Switching Gyms

[lovofu]

We belong to a gym with a very small, very successful team......about 20 girls. Last week two girls came from another local team to practice with the team...and are coming this saturday.....they haven't told their current team they are leaving after level 7 states....and the parents were very proud to say they told their coach they were just missing practice and were lucky to be coached at our practice and that will help their state score....WHAT? I can't believe they think it's OK to "try out" at our practise and deceive their team and coach!!! YIKES.

 

[gymjoy]

WOW. What a bunch of selfish, arrogant fools.

Why couldn't they just wait until after states?
I wonder, if you relayed those comments to your owner or coaches, would they still want those families on your team?
Honestly, if I was the coach at your gym, I would refuse to coach them without an immediate commitment to your team.
(Also, the gym world is small, they will be found out soon enough. )

I am so very tired of people like this. I just want to go live on an deserted island.

 

[bogwoppit]

Tasteless and tacky. Some people have no class.

 

[sally]

Maybe they weren't happy at their club, so thought they might try at your club to 1 if they get in and 2nd if they like it there. Why tell you club until you know for sure that you are leaving, otherwise you might not leave and could cause trouble for your dd. Also you need to have a trial as you don't know how they new coach coaches or if your dd will fit into that team, there is a lot of things that need to be sorted before changing gyms. However you should know after one lesson if it is the one for you. Does make me wonder why the coach would let them keep trialling though.

 

[marie83]

wow, how rude!

We have a policy at our club - If you are thinking of moving, you must tell us straight away. If you are going for a trial at another club, you cannot train at ours until a decision has been reached - If you decide to stay, that is fine, we won't have any hard feelings, just let us know and come back to the next session. We will keep it confidential so team mates and coaches don't get 'funny' with you. If you decide to leave, that is also fine, again no hard feelings and good luck. It just isn't fair to be stringing 2 clubs along.

Probably sounds harsh, but we've been bitten on the backside a few too many times, so now we cover ourselves!

 

[lovofu]

We brought it up to the owner and coach but they are still going to come and have made it clear that as soon as states is over they will join full time. The problem I have is that they are taking time away from the girls on the team who've been there ALL SEASON.

 

[lovofu]

I agree also that switching is not the problem but the timing of this STINKS and has got to be confusing for the girls....our team and them.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

From what I gather it seems to me that they are using your gym to help their DD's score goes up at states. I understand NOT telling the current gym that you are trying out other gyms as I have done this in the past. But it is too close to states to go looking as it interrupts the flow of practice for all the girls. We ultimately decided not to move and would not want the gym to know about it because I would not want my DD to recieve inferior coaching and such just because we decided to "look" at other options. I am truly glad we decided to stay as my DD loves her gym and her coaches!!

 

[mariposa]

When we decided that it was time for a switch for our DD, the decision was made before we even took her to another gym. We waited until after the season was done and also until the end of the month. Not everyone has that luxury of course, some have just one other to choose from and aren't sure if that would work and/or might just be "seeing if the mats are really bluer at another gym". We had many other gyms we could choose from, it would have just been a matter of taking a break and trying out at different ones until she found a good fit. Luckily, I researched a lot beforehand and the first gym she tried out at was a perfect fit.

In my opinion, the families have no reason they couldn't have waited until AFTER States to try out at another gym, UNLESS they were going to switch before States. Seems they may be trying to get some really good coaching at your DDs gym before States and that is just wrong.

 

[nevertooold]

I see this as more of an ethical issue on the part of the coaches.

We don't coach other clubs athletes. We don't do privates for other clubs athletes. In the situation you described what I personally would do is invite parent and child to visit our gym and observe from the waiting area. If still interested I would invite them to try a practice or a week with us after states. There's no reason I can think of that your coaches would want them to practice with your team before states except for bragging rights... "Look how we fixed those girls from xxx in 2 practices"

I hate to think that but what other reason would there be? Not this close to states. And guess what, if that's how they come to you that's how they'll leave you, sneaky.

 

[NGL780309]

I actually don't think there's anything wrong with trying out a new gym without telling your own gym. I've found that once you tell your gym you are looking they get angry, take it personally and it causes so many problems. When we switched gyms I had DD's dad talk to the owner before we tried out anywhere and the coaches got so upset that we felt like we couldn't go back. One of DD's friends tried out with us and didn't tell the gym anything. She tried out one time and the went back to finish the month and think things over and the coaches found out of course and they were ugly to her. They were ugly to the child I might add and she was only 8 years old.

When we switched there was another girl switching from a different gym. They tried out before states, decided they like it and would change, but stayed at the old gym until after states without ever telling the other gym. I didn't find anything wrong with it. I don't feel like a gym owns the child. People have the right to try other places without letting the current gym know unless it's a policy that all team members have to agree to. I don't agree that these families should continue to practice at 2 gyms. If they know they want to switch, but want to wait that's fine, but don't expect to come to practice at the new gym. I don't see how the coaches at the new gym would allow that. When we switched we were allowed to practice for an entire week (3 practices). They had limited spots and I think they wanted to make sure she'd fit in and that we'd like it.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

We brought it up to the owner and coach but they are still going to come and have made it clear that as soon as states is over they will join full time. The problem I have is that they are taking time away from the girls on the team who've been there ALL SEASON.

2 kids is not that big of a deal in the whole scheme of things. and how do you quantitatively/qualitatively come to the conclusion that "they are taking away from the girls on the team who've been there ALL SEASON"?

the timing is poor but life goes on...

 

[lhmom]

I'd be shocked if word had not gotten back to these girls' old gym. I'm also surprised that your coaches are tolerating it. It's a shame that these parents aren't showing their kids how to leave a situation with grace.

 

[lovofu]

2 kids is not that big of a deal in the whole scheme of things. and how do you quantitatively/qualitatively come to the conclusion that "they are taking away from the girls on the team who've been there ALL SEASON"?

the timing is poor but life goes on...

two kids is a big deal when there are only 2 coaches for the whole team 5 levels

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

I would stay out of it is between the other gymnasts and your coaches if they do not have a problem with it I would let it go. I do not understand the way people do things and do not always agree with their actions. When my daughter started on team I found out that a couple of the girls who qualified to states were getting private lessons at another gym. This was alittle frustrating for me and my daughter who did not qualify for states. They ended up switching to the other gym after the season was over, my daughter and I contemplating switching also when the season was over by trying out the other gym while she took a break from her current gym. I had to force my daughter to make a decision she wanted to go to both until she decided but for me it did not seem fair. Daugther ended up at her orginal gym which I can clearly see now was the best place for her. So it all worked out in the end. The other girls stayed at the other gym, one of them did not qualify for states last year and I heard she wanted to come back to our gym, but she ended up staying where she was. It is ashame because the girls were friendly when they were in the same gym but now everytime my daughter sees them at a meet they are rude and snub my daughter (the parents are still cordial). I would welcome the new girls and their families and overlook everything because they may become your teammates. Lose the attitude that they are taking away from the girls who have been their all season give them a chance.

 

[lovofu]

We were all very welcoming to both sets of parents...and will continue to be.....as were all the girls....I just thought the timing was off. It will all come out in the wash!

 

[Blackie6]

I agree timing is really off, but I would make them welcome. There maybe more to the story than you know. Parents could be joking around and even putting up a bit of a "front" since it is not easy to be the new kid (or parent) on the block. For someone to try out at a new gym right before states means they are looking to leave ASAP! From one who had to leave a gym, I can tell you I had to make a very quick decision and hasty departure, but I have no regrets and couldn't have asked for a better outcome and more welcoming coaches & parents! Those newbies could become your DD's best friends within the next year, LOL, and trust me, they are not going to pick up major AA advantage at states after a couple of practices. I'm sure coaches know what they are doing.

 

[lilgymmie7]

I decided we were going to switch DD after state as well, but honestly I didn't see the wrong of trying out at DD's new gym before. However, DD was extremely excited about her impending leave and excitedly told the coaches. Well...needless to say when they found out they were upset and asked her to leave.
It really worked out for DD! She is so much happier and is progressing so much at her new gym. The reason I didn't tell her previous gym was because I knew how they'd react. It really stunk that I called it on the nose. But again, it only emphasized that DD was NOT where she needed to be. I never 'count my chickens before they hatch' so knowing that I knew how old gym would react and NOT knowing if her new gym would accept her, I didn't confront her old coaches. I wasn't trying to be deceitful. I was looking for my DD's BEST interest. However, WE really won!! DD's new gym is phenomenal!!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

two kids is a big deal when there are only 2 coaches for the whole team 5 levels

but now you're intimating your angry about something completely different. what if 2 kids moved up from pre-team? would you still feel the same way??

 

[Deleted member D3987]

"We were all very welcoming to both sets of parents...and will continue to be.....as were all the girls....I just thought the timing was off. It will all come out in the wash!"



this is good. ^^^