Parents Fearful 6 year old

[Amusibus]

My daughter is 6 and a half, on developmental team. She is not one of these fearless kids, and tries new things cautiously. For instance, she has been "almost there" on getting a back hip circle for AGES, but is afraid to do it. With a spot it's a two finger spot, barely anything, and she does it no problem. She has been able to do a backbend from standing for a year but in practice acts like she needs a spot. If I asked her to try one at home she can do it no problem, but again seems afraid. Other girls (ok very few) in her group have learned the backhandspring, not my daughter without a heavy spot. My question is, does being fearful/ cautious at this young age mean she will always be this way? I have heard that fears increase with age.

 

[exgymnastmomx3]

My experience with my 3 daughters is that fear increases with age and levels. My "fearless" daughters both became more fearful as they went into the higher levels (level 9 especially) My fearful daughter first was afraid of the back walkover on beam, then the back handspring on beam, then the series on beam, then giants on bars, then yurchenkos, then release moves. It never stopped! After 2 years of level 10 it became such a struggle that she was miserable and she couldn't deal with it anymore. That's just my experience, but it's also what I've seen in most gymnasts. Doesn't mean it will be true for your dd, though

 

[gymgal]

This is likely a personality trait that isn't likely to go away. Having said that, it doesn't mean that she can't be a good gymnast. My did has always been like this and as she has gotten older, she has learned to deal with it by being systematic in how she goes about new skills. She is typically one of the last to get a skills (except bars). But she does get them. She just turned 12, is a L7 and has most of the skills needed for L8. In the early years, I was really concerned that her cautiousness would cause her to fall behind but she has found ways to make it work for her. It hasn't always been on the timetable that the coaches want but she gets there.

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[Kiwi]

My DD is also like this. She does get the skills eventually but it takes longer and she needs more spotting. On the other hand, getting a new skill is a huge deal for her and she feels very excited and proud of herself.

 

[JessLW]

I was a fearful gymnast. I loved gymnastics, but I was just so afraid of getting myself hurt that it took me way longer to get skills than it should have given that I was quite strong and reasonably flexible. I started a bit on the late side and it has also been my experience that kids tend to get more fearful as they get older. I agree with the others that if this is her personality at six she's unlikely to wake up and be fearless at 7 or 8, and some kids are just naturally cautious.

It doesn't mean she can't be a successful gymnast, but skills might come at a slower pace.

 

[Gymmommy71]

My DD was fearful even at 5/6. The first time she ever had to walk backwards on a high beam she literally started crying cause she was so scared. Now at 10 YO, she will work/do backhandsprings on the high beam, so it didn't mean, at least in her case, that she wouldn't eventually do scary things...however, DD *will* be extra, extra super duper sure she can attempt a skill w/o getting hurt before she will throw it w/o a spot. It doesn't make her a bad gymnast, and I really haven't noticed her take all that longer to get scary skills than her teammates over the years. Yes, there are/have been girls on her teams that are just fearless in the sense that they'll go spotless way before her, however it evens out that once my DD does throw it w/o a spot it is much more consistent to the point that she "has it" at about the same time as her fearless teammates (if you get what I mean). I'm actually very happy that she is like that if you ask me.

Another thing about my DD is that she is very mature personality-wise/socailly for her age, like now at 10 she "thinks" like most teenagers\adults if you ask me...so my theory is that even at 6, she had the "fear age" of a 9YO ...

 

[sglemon]

My youngest dd is like that. She has always been afraid to try things. My older dd was the daredevil, and honestly, her quickness to learning skills, hurt her because she would learn them really fast and incorrectly. Which lead to lower scores and frustration for never placing on anything. She quit gymnastics. My youngest dd, who was always afraid learned the skills more slowly and in doing do, her form is very good. She is 9 and a level 5 now. Just a year ago, she wanted to quit because she was afraid of the table vault. Earlier, This year she says she doesn't want to go to level 6 because she was afraid on the BWO on the beam. She is doing both now just fine. Now, the hang up is on her flyaway. Her coaches Have been wanted her to try, but she says no. She finally faced her fear, and started doing the tap, and dropping from the bar to her back in the pit last week. It is just going to take baby steps. She is definitely not alone, some of her teammates have the same fears. .After spending so many years in gymnastics with 2 dd I have come to the conclusion, girls will just learn their skill at their own pace. If my dds fear of a flyaway keeps her from competing level 6, so be it. She will get it when SHE is ready, not me or the gyms schedule. I think letting girls work through their own fears, builds a strength of character. She is a happy gymnast, and enjoys every minute in the gym. My final comment, is I think some fear is a good thing, it will protect them.

 

[Amusibus]

Thanks, parents. So basically my answer is, yes, most likely she will, but it may not be a bad thing. I can live with that.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

My daughter is 6 and a half, on developmental team. She is not one of these fearless kids, and tries new things cautiously. For instance, she has been "almost there" on getting a back hip circle for AGES, but is afraid to do it. With a spot it's a two finger spot, barely anything, and she does it no problem. She has been able to do a backbend from standing for a year but in practice acts like she needs a spot. If I asked her to try one at home she can do it no problem, but again seems afraid. Other girls (ok very few) in her group have learned the backhandspring, not my daughter without a heavy spot. My question is, does being fearful/ cautious at this young age mean she will always be this way? I have heard that fears increase with age.

nope, this is not an indicator of anything. she's 6 and it is normal. if she were 10 then maybe you would be concerned.

 

[Amusibus]

ok I'm the "OP", funny about the timing of this post, as my daughter came out tonight over the moon saying, "I got my backhipcircle!!!!!". Super- pleased with herself. I guess she found her confidence.