Parents fearful gymnast

[NotAGymMom]

My dd (just turned 4) is very cautious and has some "fears" but is getting better in each class and her fears do not affect her participation. She does not want to be "scared" but needs to get used to things like jumping off the tall beam without help for example... she's really nervous doing turns on the bars (but is willing to try which is more than I ever was willing to do!)

She currently goes 1 hour a week on Wednesday at a USA Gymnastics gym. They are adding another pre-k class at our gym... they currently offer a class on Wednesdays and Saturdays. We can't do Saturdays because of swim lessons through the end of the year. (swim lessons are non-negotiable in our house) I just found out today that they opened up another class for Pre-K on Thursdays and we're available at that time.

I talked to her coach about her fears and not wanting her to force her into a sport that maybe she just wouldn't excel in (really no way to know at 4 though, right?). He thought she was just fine giving we've only been at it a few weeks and that eventually she would get over some of her relunctance. She is picking up tumbling skills pretty well but is still pretty uncoordinated. They do tumbling and jumping stations, beam, the long trampoline and bar work stations. Its definitely more of a "grooming" class then a fun and games class.

So, my question, (for experienced moms) do you think that going twice a week will help her get over her fears faster? She loves gymnastics, never cries and is very willing to try everything... just SUPER cautious. She wishes she could go more than once a week (when we go to karate she wants to go to gymnastics instead) Instead of two consecutive days should I wait until she I can spread it out more? We'll be able to do Saturdays again in January. At this age is it more time passed then it is actual hours in the gym? (like will it take a few months to get over that regardless if she's in the gym once or twice a week)

My niece is a competitive gymnast and my daughter wanted to take gymnastics because of that so I figured we would give her that opportunity - otherwise I would never have thought to put her in the sport given her "fears" for lack of better term. I will say as far as fears go, she is ALWAYS willing to try with help - just super nervous about it. I've never seen her walk away from a challenge.

I have the same personality as her growing up and was always afraid of everything. I regret that I wasn't pushed more to get over my fear of dogs, swimming, and not pushed more athletically. I don't fault my parents for it, but I really think it set me up for not being as healthy/fit as an adult. I also don't want to be "that mom" pushing her too hard or not encouraging her to try new things because I knew she was "afraid"

Again - she loves gymnastics ... this is something she asked for and looks forward to each week - not one tear has been shed and she's never walked out of class which I think is huge... there are definitely more advanced kids in her class her although physically ready still melt down or act up in class.

 

[iwannacoach]

I'd suggest one day a week until she's been able to adapt and blend in with the program. Her fear issue could get worse if she doesn't have enough down time between gym days, so let her go about it more slowly.

 

[gymgal]

Dd it's a very cautious gymnast. Always has been. But she is getting ready to compete L8 this season. She's 12. So, not Olympic bound (lol), but certainly doing very well with goal of college gymnastics. I used to worry a lot about future fears and how she would handle them, but through the years, I have learned that she gets it done in her own time. She loves gymnastics and she is always motivated to master the next challenge. Her coaches have learned to gradually introduce the idea of new skills well in advance of having her actually start drilling it. This helps give her time to wrap her head around trying a new skill before working it physically.

My advice. Let her enjoy the class. Don't worry about her cautious nature. If gymnastics is something she really wants to do, she will figure it out in her own time how to make it happen for herself. It may take her longer than other girls initially, but she will get there if she wants. She will likely need more time to develop trust in her coaches and that's ok too.

 

[Natasha]

My dd started out cautious (and didn't start until age 6). She didn't walk confidently on the beam for about 5 months and bars- well it was years.... My best advice is to let her go at it at her own pace. Do not try to push her to do things or offer bribes...if she does end up as a competitive gymnast you will just be setting yourself up for a bad situation. She needs to work through it all- just trust her coach to help her with that and keep encouraging her to have fun!
And, BTW, it is completely normal to be scared of jumping off the high beam at age 4- we don't even put our preschoolers on the high beam until they have reached our level 2 preschool class (usually after taking gymnastics for 2 semesters).

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

DD was cautious a lot previously as well. She too was very eager to go, to excel, etc., but strangely new skills intimidated her. Even now, when she is at higher levels, and has a list of goals a mile long, that trepidation sneaks in every once in a while when the coach suggests starting a new skill.

The basis for the trepidation has changed.... Now it is OMG, only the bigger girls do that, or self doubt.... I can't do that - it's really hard! But she NEVER says no. She faces it at her own pace - I am just sure to remind her that she is in charge of her destiny and pace.... If it is too fast (or too slow) to say so.

I agree that you should let her get used to it for now - three weeks in? Even if she loves it, you can add more in January and you'll likely have a far better understanding (as will she) of what is expected and how she deals with it.

 

[gymdog]

I would wait until maybe November or so and then add more. As a preschool teacher, I do think they always progress faster with two days a week. By the way, last year I had a child who was terrified to even walk on a low beam for months, and a year later she was actually promoted to a class for older children because the preschool class is too easy for her. I have another child who was an extremely fearful 3 year old (would not even step on a trampoline) and now one of my most advanced 4 year olds with correct cartwheels, etc by herself. Both of these children came two days a week for an entire year.

 

[Kiwi]

I will say as far as fears go, she is ALWAYS willing to try with help - just super nervous about it. I've never seen her walk away from a challenge.

I have the same personality as her growing up and was always afraid of everything. I regret that I wasn't pushed more to get over my fear of dogs, swimming, and not pushed more athletically. I don't fault my parents for it, but I really think it set me up for not being as healthy/fit as an adult. I also don't want to be "that mom" pushing her too hard or not encouraging her to try new things because I knew she was "afraid"

You sound just like me and my DD! My DD was the same at 4 in her pre-school gym class. She was afraid of rolling over the top of the bar, but eventually was able to do it with the coach helping her. (She is now 10, still cautious, and still doing gymnastics).

Your DD sounds fine and normal, and as she is only just 4 there is nothing to worry about. Being cautious and nervous about trying new things is normal and not quite the same thing as having fears. Facing these kinds of challenges will likely be good for her. At this very young age I wouldn't worry at all about her long-term future in the sport. If she loves it now, just let her go and see what happens. If she still loves it by January, you could add the extra class then.

 

[luvmygymdtr]

Instead of the extra gym class, why don't you bring her to the park and have her tackle some of that equipment? The monkey bars are a great place for her to gain strength and coordination. Spotted by mom - of course.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I would give it more time before adding a second class. If she still wants more gym time in January when the Saturday class fits your schedule then you can add it then. My dd is also a very cautious child and she is a Level 8 now so they can work through it. She doesn't like to be surprised on trying something new - she needs to wrap her brain around it first before she will try it. Sometimes that takes 1 practice, sometimes it takes a couple of weeks. But she is making it work and I think me, her and her coaches are realizing that about her and the coaches more frequently give her a "heads up" on what they will be attempting at the next class so that she can mentally prepare. Even though your dd is cautious, she can still become a great gymnast and go far. Good luck!

 

[NotAGymMom]

Thanks everyone for the tips. I think we'll finish this year with the one class and will add in the Saturday class after the holidays. I'm with you that she might emotionally need some time to "recover" between classes even if she seems ok.

Its also encouraging to see that she won't be like this forever and will grow in her confidence. That's really all I want out of this is- for her to be healthy and feel confident about herself. I don't care if she competes, does recreational or decides the sport isn't for her.

 

[mommyof1]

When my daughter started gymnastics at age 4 1/2, she was afraid to jump off the end of the beam into the pit without someone holding her hand. But just like your daughter, she was completely in love with gymnastics and class was the highlight of her week. When she finally built up the courage to jump off the beam she was so proud of herself. Two years later she is on preteam, and she is still on the cautious side. When they introduced back hip circles and spotted cast handstands, she would come home saying bars were scary, but she persevered and within a few weeks she started telling me those same skills were fun. As she has more of these experiences, she is beginning to understand that if she trusts her coach and keeps trying she will be able to work through it. The advantage of having a child who is on the cautious side is that she is not constantly trying to do front tucks off the furniture the way the fearless ones do--she is much safer this way.

As long as your daughter is not paralyzed with fear, she is having fun, and her coaches are willing to work with her, she will be fine. If she is still in love with the sport after a couple more months, I don't think it could hurt to try a second class, as long as you can pull her out and get a refund if it turns out to be too much for her.

 

[Faith]

She's 4. If she loves it, keep going, although I agree with others once a week is probably best until she gains confidence.

Also, she's 4. There's no need really to be learning/pushing actual skills at this age. Do you think she would prefer the fun and games class for another year until she gains confidence? It won't do her gymnastics career any harm if she doesn't join the more serious class until 5 or 6. It's not holding her back or not encouraging her to try new things, it's going at her pace. And funnily enough, working a gymnast up to a skill step by step leads to a far more confident gymnast than just putting them up there and asking them to try it.

 

[thefellowsmom]

My dd is naturally cautious as well. I really honestly have to say that gymnastics has been the best thing that ever happened to her in this regard. It has been unreal to see her grow from a 4 year old that wouldn't talk to her coach or teacher or any adults outside the family ( but was very good at doing what she was told) to this confident (almost overly) young girl who is ready to take on the world and chase down her dreams.

I do have to caveat that she has been gymnastics obsessed since she walked in the gym at 2 years old, is super determined and knows exactly what she wants out of the sport. I must say I would never have pegged her as a gymnast due to her cautious nature but it is totally her thing. But she was always worried about new skills and moving too fast, but kept at it and now she tells me she finally figured out moving fast is better because there is no time to get scared.

I would say that her progression was a little slower early on but now she is soaring because she has great coaches that saw her potential, passion and dedication and stuck with the trudge that was the past couple of years. She is nine now and working toward level seven this season

It has been about foundation (drills, shapes and conditioning), consistency and confidence for her. She had everything she needed so when she was ready she could really take off. Having the right coaching team that knew how to support her and individualize her plan was the most important thing. My biggest piece of advice would be to make sure she is in the right gym, one that isn't going to make her feel less or bad for moving at her own pace and that focuses on that foundation work so when she is ready to try something new, everything is ready to roll.

Now, that pertains to down the road, of course. For now, I would let her drive the bus. If she wants more then give her more, although I agree that if she is coming home emotionally drained maybe not two days in a row right away. Our gym tries to spread the days out for the little ones even the young team girls. But if she loves it and wants to do more then I say let her go. As a cautious kid she is probably already more aware of what she can handle.

And as others have said her caution will keep her safer as she won't go it alone until she is ready and she is less likely to throw dangerous tricks outside the gym. And along with caution usually comes wanting to get it right, in fact this is the main source of my dds caution. So, they may not be the first to throw a skill or the one who flies through the lower levels at six years old but when they get a skill it looks good and there is no reason that they won't progress at a great rate and even catch or pass up those early bloomers.

Good luck and keep us posted on how she's doing!

 

[mommyof1]

One more thought--the high beam is probably taller than she is! That's like asking a grown-up to jump off something 6 feet tall or so.

 

[dani4]

I think I could have written this a year ago, about my 4.5 year old. She started gym at 3.5 and after her first class she wanted to join me & little sis in the mommy & me class. I had to bribe her with a shiny new leo to keep her in the big kid's class (and it was a class for ages 2.5 to 4, so she was on the older side for that one anyway). I remember watching her and thinking how awkward she looked, especially anything that involved being up high or upside down. She was kind of scared. But she never really complained and after class #2 never asked to move down to the baby class again.

She's still on the cautious side, and she's still not the most coordinated kid out there, but I do think that gymnastics has helped her a lot. She has always been physically strong and determined- gymnastics is such a great outlet to channel that strong mind & body. It also helps her to have a very athletic and fearless little sister nipping at her heels, she will not let little sister surpass her, not yet!

Now she's in the pre-team class, and they haven't kicked her out yet