Parents How do you deal with non-gym parents criticism?

[kandkfunk]

Most of the comments we receive aren't really negative, but people are often wowed by the amount of time my DD puts in at the gym. These are my most common responses to these questions:

1. Gymnastics is a dangerous sport. It would not be safe to train these skills if she only spent a couple hours per week in the gym.

2. Gymnastics is the cheapest teenage babysitter you'll ever find.Where else can you find 15-20 hours of child care for just a few hundred dollars per month? While my teen is working out and developing a work ethic with adults I trust, others are smoking in the street, watching TV or playing video games (okay that's an over generalization of teenage behavior, but it does get the point across).

3. She is developing strong exercise and nutritional habits that will stay with her for the rest of her life. How many other 13 year old girls can beat their dad in a pull-up competition?

4. It is her passion. As long as she can maintain good grades, why would I tell her she cannot follow her passion.

The gymnast life is not for everyone, but for some kids, it is the best childhood they could ever imagine.

 

[Flossyduck]

On the whole most of the people whose opinions I care about are pretty supportive. We get positive comments about how great it is and friends and neighbours seem genuinely proud of my daughter and very encouraging.

The usual comment when they find out how much she does (and how far we travel lol!) is "wow she must be doing pretty well then, good for her", then they check I'm coping ok and if there's anything they can do to help

Sadly there is one parent who is stirring things up at the moment and it's the mum of one of my daughter's best friends who she has known since birth. She didn't invite my daughter to her daughter's birthday party last month. There are only six girls in their class at school - the others were all asked so obviously we heard about it. I phoned to subtly ask if the invitation had got lost at school (seriously these girls have grown up together and see each other every day). Her excuse - oh I assumed she'd be at gym.

Then she did exactly the same with a halloween party...

There have been a few comments about my daughter being skinny (she is lean but super muscly) and doesn't she miss having fun (err she finds gymnastics lots of fun).

Sadly her daughter, who is a sweetie, is getting quite overweight and I know that she spends quite a lot of time, at the tender age of eight, on her x box.

People who feel the need to criticse are maybe trying to justify their own parenting choices...

 

[sglemon]

Ignore it. They don't know your child. The ones that are usually critical, are ones with children, who can't handle your childs schedule. I have several children on all ends of the spectrum and no matter where they are, you get criticized for your choices. You need to learn to let it roll off you back, it is just their opinion.

 

[MaryA]

We have suddenly reached an age (I didn't expect it to happen this young) where I am starting to hear stories from friends about worries that their daughters may be getting into things they shouldn't be in their "free time." A dear friend, whose daughter is 8 months older than mine (my DD is 11, hers 12) has a boyfriend who she spends A LOT of time with, and her mom has gotten reports (unsubstantiated at this point) of her DD drinking. I know this is only the beginning of "horror stories" I will hear from my friends as our kids get older. I'm not saying that all kids without after school activities are going to get into trouble, but you certainly KNOW they're not in trouble when they're in the gym. I'll take worries about when my DD will conquer her fear of the BHS on beam over worries about whether or not she is drinking any day.

The funny thing is that my friend's daughter is jealous of my DD and her gymnastics. I tell her "but she has no life... all of the time you're out with your friends, she's in the gym." To which she answers, "Yes, but gymnastics IS her life, and her friends are in the gym!" And she's right.

 

[monkeysmom]

I have a great trick, I just try to talk them into signing their kids up for classes or try out for team at our gym. And emphasize how it's great training/conditioning for other sports. So then I put them in the position of trying shut me up/ignore me. Works pretty well. Heck two of them even have signed their kids up for rec classes this year....

 

[Jaks]

Sadly there is one parent who is stirring things up at the moment and it's the mum of one of my daughter's best friends who she has known since birth. She didn't invite my daughter to her daughter's birthday party last month. There are only six girls in their class at school - the others were all asked so obviously we heard about it. I phoned to subtly ask if the invitation had got lost at school (seriously these girls have grown up together and see each other every day). Her excuse - oh I assumed she'd be at gym

Had a situation like that today with a girl who is supposed to be one of my dd's close friends. My dd had a party a few weeks ago and invited a few of her close friends including the girl above. This girl was supposed to go to one of the clubs she shares with my dd today but she told my dd a school yesterday that she might not go as she had a funny belly. The girl didn't go and I didn't think anything of it until later when I found out it was this girls birthday and she had a party and didn't invite my dd but invited the others that are in their circle of friends.

Luckily my dd doesn't seem that bothered but it did make me feel a bit puzzled as to why my dd was left out.

 

[heather]

I get this from a family member. She likes to say things like, "you spend so much money on these classes. Maybe you should give it a break. Your child probably won't wind up on the olympic team (which I'm well aware of), so why bother? I've always thought parents who put their children in all these activities act kind of 'ignorant'." Very rude!