Parents Intense kindergarten+level 2 gymnastics. Help!

[Seeker]

Yep, but our grades are judged solely on end of year tests, therefore you can do nothing all year, and apart from being dragged in and told off by the teacher, as long as they pass the end of year exam its all good. If you follow a continuous assessment model obviously not so good. But hey, we are talking 5 years old here.

I totally agree. 5 yr olds should not be stressed about school....makes me mad. I disagree with much of the way our educational system is structured in this country (U.S.)...but I am grateful for the freedom to choose to homeschool. We do and it has been so much better for my daughter/our family.

 

[skschlag]

Based on our experience, the child would record a zero for that assignment (or a very low grade for not following instructions). Homework has always been required by any teacher that assigned it to my daughter. Even in K, it was required.

I love that our school does not grade homework. Only grades are ones teachers see done. Since you have no idea who did the homework, it is tough to grade it!

 

[flipnastic]

Z

 

[flipnastic]

Not a fan of your school or gym. She is 5.

Not a fan of the school...well, I think I'm not a fan of public education in general
I do really like the gym...the more I watch what is going on, the more I think it's a clash between the coach and my daughter + a lack of understanding of the 5 y/o brain. before Thursday's practice, there were a few similar but less intense incidences, but things drastically improved after a conversation for several weeks and my dd was on top of the world after every practice (and made drastic improvements). I think when the coach has a bad day, she has less patience for my dd, who is slower to catch a couple of the other girls, and there is just something about my dd's personality that doesn't click with hers. The assistant coach seems amazing and motherly...she seems to have developed a soft spot for my dd and I noticed her giving her a little extra love.

I've reached out to the kindergarten teacher, and yes..we are putting our foot down I the homework. She's a smart girl and is in no way a risk to fall behind in reading. We are also showing her extra love at home and doing everything we can to boost her spirits. I am learning through this that I think her love language is "words of affirmation." It seems to be working...she is happier this morning!

Thanks everyone! Yall are awesome..

 

[B.Gold]

Here's a letter about homework you could use as a template : http://www.joebower.org/2012/05/opt-out-of-homework.html?m=1

That letter is excellent, I love it!

I'm very passionate about no\ to minimal homework through middle school... especially in K-5. I had to remind my 8th grader this week we aren't going to be a slave to homework. There is no shame in not making high honor roll in middle school.

I'm finding, even in High School, a student has control over their homework load based on how many accelerated or honors classes they choose to tackle. Or by how many study halls are added into a schedule.

If you have a child whose talents are academics, and they find joy in the challenge of school, and they can't get enough... fine, they should be identified and put in a gifted program. Otherwise, after school time is mine to decide how my children hones their talents, curiosities, and passions.

 

[flipnastic]

That letter is excellent, I love it!

I'm very passionate about no\ to minimal homework through middle school... especially in K-5. I had to remind my 8th grader this week we aren't going to be a slave to homework. There is no shame in not making high honor roll in middle school.

I'm finding, even in High School, a student has control over their homework load based on how many accelerated or honors classes they choose to tackle. Or by how many study halls are added into a schedule.

If you have a child whose talents are academics, and they find joy in the challenge of school, and they can't get enough... fine, they should be identified and put in a gifted program. Otherwise, after school time is mine to decide how my children hones their talents, curiosities, and passions.

I really agree with this a lot. I was never academically talented myself, and graduated hs with a 3.0 even...I NEVER felt pressure in high school and found a great balance between school, gymnastics and band. Now, I have. Doctorate, and realize I am successful bc I learned Balance and work ethic...not from spending hours studying and being stressed in high school (especially not in the younger years).

Excellent perspective. Thank you.

 

[B.Gold]

In fact, this showed up on my FB news feed this week and really takes the words out of my mouth on how I view my children's education:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=614146595433897&id=173557622826132

School and education is important, but it's not the end all be all.

 

[sce]

Both the kindergarten and the gym seem to be developmentally in appreciate. She is 5yo. All day structured academics, not how a 5yo learns. 30+ minutes of homework, way in appropriate. Add to that gym continually dis implying a 5yo with conditioning! First, talk to her teacher about two things. One - leaving early in gym days. Coming into gym late is probably not belong her settle into the practice routine. Two -the homework. It was way too much for a 5yo! They need free play, time to be read to etc.

Second, talk to her coach about the rough transition to the long kindergarten days. Let the coach know how she is emotionally worn out by the end of the school day. It is always best to let coaches know things like this, in my opinion.

 

[Sasha]

SOAPBOX ALERT...

Personally, I would ban all homework other than reading books they enjoy all the way through middle school. I would also severely limit high school homework in favor of skilled/professional trade, arts, and community/volunteer experience. Sadly, I don't get to be in charge.

Though we might get away with refusing homework in Kindergarten around here depending on the specific teacher, you would be seen as the equivalent of whatever a CGM/CGD is in school terms (CSM?) and make no teacher friends. After Kinder, good luck.

My kids had probably 30 minutes of homework at night in Kinder (including reading), and it sucked for everyone. 1st and 2nd grade homework was particularly tough on my son who wasn't the fastest reader, so reading instructions on all the stupid common core worksheets was tears-central (for mom, too sometimes!!). Took an hour a night most nights to get through (daughter was fast reader, so took 30-40) not including reading. So my son didn't even get to enjoy the books he excitedly brought home to read (slowly, as his reading was behind pace), to get through the crappy math / grammar / other worksheets. I do send notes at times criticizing the homework content and sending it back blank. I have also told them point blank that I will not help them do homework (they are now in grades 3-6), other than to help clarify instructions if they ask. If they can't do the problems (they are more than adequately intelligent), that is reflective of the teaching competence and pace. I simply refuse to spend time policing homework. I don't think I'm a very popular parent with the teachers. Teachers aren't even mostly to blame - the whole standards system is broken, as is the ability to deal with repetitively disruptive students who continually take teachers' time away from teaching. Teaching is policing more than teaching these days, so I sympathize, but passing everything home to be dealt with by the parents not only destroys childrens' love of learning, but creates more socio-economic imbalance as the upper middle class+ stay-at-homes have more ability to help with homework (or pay for tutoring/other help), while many in the lower classes struggle without help and fall further behind.

If I didn't work full time, I would homeschool. Or if my salary quadrupled, I would get them private tutors and supplement with online school. US Education is severely broken. OP, I'm sorry you're up against this. Most of America is. Some other countries are apparently more sensible.

 

[Madden3]

I mentioned this in the homeschool forum but in many states the compulsory age for schooling is 6 or 7, rather than 5. Do you know what it is in your state?
Compulsory age is different than what age they will let kids in. Most states let kids start at 5 and some states even allow 4 year olds to start public school Kindergarten. But these are not the compulsory ages.
My point is, maybe your child just needs another year before she starts school and if the compulsory age is 6 or 7, that can be easily done (assuming you can find a caregiver or preschool for while you are at work.) You just take her out of school. Where I live, many kids start Kindergarten at 6 rather than 5. My boys were both 7 years old when they started 1st grade after being in a completely non-academic kindergarten.

 

[LJL07]

I'm sorry. I can't get past the 30 min of homework in kindergarten. My little girl did team last year as a kindergartner. There was no homework. Occasionally readers came home but that was it. Yes, it was an adjustment for the first couple of months bc school plus gym made for some really long days. But she did adjust and had a great year. But 30 min of homework each day in K is absurd imo.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I just don't get the differences in school districts.

Our school actually has a homework policy (I believe all districts have to have one). For ours the guideline is 10 mins per grade. We also have teachers who are pretty understanding. So they are rather flexible on when things get done. My daughter has never actually missed turning something in. We have however had to do an assignment ahead of time or perhaps a day later from time to time. Its not been a problem so far. And she is starting 5th grade.

I found all her homework reasonable as in just enough to establish the expectation yet not overwhelming at all. In kindergarten it was a couple of worksheets usually involving coloring and reading with an adult (the expectation of the adult doing the reading). And in the grades since reading, writing as it pertains to what they are reading. Spelling. And just enough math to reinforce the kids are getting it or not, so the teacher knows if she needs to do more. Now studying coming into play. In fact daughter was cranky she had homework the first day this year. Which was answering questions about herself and took all of 15 mins, most of which was taken up by whining she didnt know what her goals for this year were.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

My 5 yo is having a rough time in kindergarten. This is our first kid in school so we are new to the whole thing, but I'm honestly pretty shocked so far! She has recess everyday, and pe some days, but no center time to where they can just play. Evidentally the new approach is that they have stations where they are still working on math or writing skills instead of imaginary and creative play. Also, homework every night 30+ minutes. Yall, she is beyond exhausted mentally when I pick her up from school, and she tenses up when I mention homework. She walked to kindergarten this morning with her head down about to cry. She hits her wall with homework every night.

So, add gymnastics. School lets out at 3:45 so we get there at 4:20-4:30, 20-30 min late(30 min commute). Last night was her first rough night since school started. Lots of frog jumps for not listening, tears, etc. when I talked to her after, she said "I tried putting my thinking cap on but I couldn't bc I used my thinking cap so long at kindergarten. My brain wouldn't work" and she broke down. Later, we asked if she still likes her gymnastics and she said "yes, I love it"

Yes, I know school is more important than gymnastics. And I know it takes time to adjust. But I feel like this is too much, and something may have to change after comp season is over in October. She would be devastated quitting. Every time I mention trying out dance or soccer, she looks sad and says, no, I only want to do gymnastics. It's my favorite!

So help!!!!! I am trying to encourage her and talk about all the wonderful things in kindergarten, make homework fun, etc...please tell me this is normal and gets better?!?

this crap shouldn't be going on in the life of a kindergartner. shoot me now. she's competing? YIKES!
and it's not the schools! "my daughter is a 7 year old L5 and trains 30 hours a week. is this enough to go to the Limpics?)

i'm telling you that if they do to much too soon and don't have a balanced life that the only place they'll be going is nowhere.

 

[profmom]

You know, as bad as middle school and high school are for homework, I've found that it's been better for my three, perhaps just because the homework they have is harder and is more clearly oriented toward practicing skills that they have not yet mastered. They were much more frustrated by the pointless busywork assigned in elementary school. Eldest was in a physics class last year that had both nightly problem sets and huge group projects, but he seemed to enjoy all of it and happily signed up for the next class in the sequence this year.

It's always worthwhile to talk to the teacher and talk to the coach. Some teachers will tell you straight up that if a kid has been struggling with a worksheet for X amount of time, s/he should just stop and bring it in the next day.

(And we put youngest, a boy, into elementary school at age 4 because he was driving us up the wall and no one -- not him, not his parents, and certainly not the day care center -- would have survived another year of his being in preschool. We had no idea it would ever be a bad thing for him to be graduating at 17! )

 

[mommyof1]

I love that our school does not grade homework. Only grades are ones teachers see done. Since you have no idea who did the homework, it is tough to grade it!

Our school grades homework on completion (zero or full credit only). Parents are explicitly told that they are responsible for checking homework and reviewing wrong answers with the child. Homework is never checked or reviewed at school. It is nuts.

 

[mommyof1]

(And we put youngest, a boy, into elementary school at age 4 because he was driving us up the wall and no one -- not him, not his parents, and certainly not the day care center -- would have survived another year of his being in preschool. We had no idea it would ever be a bad thing for him to be graduating at 17! )

Ha ha--I have always told people we sent our daughter to kindergarten at age 4 because she was going to destroy the preschool if we didn't. I don't see what is wrong with a kid's going to college at 17, except that you lose a year to enjoy your child's company. I started thinking about that when ours turned 9 and I realized that more than half our time with her was already gone.

 

[raenndrops]

Ha ha--I have always told people we sent our daughter to kindergarten at age 4 because she was going to destroy the preschool if we didn't. I don't see what is wrong with a kid's going to college at 17, except that you lose a year to enjoy your child's company. I started thinking about that when ours turned 9 and I realized that more than half our time with her was already gone.

My parents didn't let me start school early because it would have a negative affect on my older brother. Instead, I took another year of preschool, but Spanish preschool. My kindergarten teacher really had her hands full when I finally got there (I could read, print, write in cursive, add, subtract, and multiply basic facts, plus I could answer some questions in Spanish). She retired at the end of the school year... With 2 years left in her contract, lol.

 

[GymDad9.9]

My parents didn't let me start school early because it would have a negative affect on my older brother. Instead, I took another year of preschool, but Spanish preschool. My kindergarten teacher really had her hands full when I finally got there (I could read, print, write in cursive, add, subtract, and multiply basic facts, plus I could answer some questions in Spanish). She retired at the end of the school year... With 2 years left in her contract, lol.

Fascinating story. The part about running the teacher out of town reminds me of when my wife went back to work after having our daughter and we had her with an elderly babysitter who prided herself about how well she looked after infants. Within two weeks my daughter had completely crushed this poor woman, reducing her tears and forcing us to find a new arrangement.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

to quote my child

#skillage !

 

[flipnastic]

this crap shouldn't be going on in the life of a kindergartner. shoot me now. she's competing? YIKES!
and it's not the schools! "my daughter is a 7 year old L5 and trains 30 hours a week. is this enough to go to the Limpics?)

i'm telling you that if they do to much too soon and don't have a balanced life that the only place they'll be going is nowhere.

Eh, we can agree to disagree on this. The expectation that a kindergartener should be required to "have her thinking cap" on all day without a rest and then do 30 min more at home when she should be playing and spending time with family is not ok.

4 1/2 hours of gymnastics/week+a few meets is vastly different then 30 hrs/week. My daughter will not be training 30 hrs a week at 7 yo.