WAG Is it okay to cry?

[Vaibicy]

So after a year and a half of not being in the gym, I decided to do gymnastics again! But over the year we moved 12 hours away so I had to begin again in a new club, which is WAY more competitive.

It's been a few weeks and I'm seriously wondering why I even bothered trying again. I'm 13 and I've been placed in a Provincial 1 (level 4-5 in the states) with 7,8, and 9 year olds. I was Provincial 3 (level 7, I think..?) before. Being with younger gymnasts isn't so bad because they're cute and fun but I got really out of shape and lost all my strength and flexibility, so I can't keep up in stretching and conditioning. I try my best but the coach seems to forget that I've been out for a year and a half and tells me to try harder and not be so lazy since I'm older and all. Everyday I'm sore and have to take an Advil (side question: does anyone have a tip for sore muscles other than hot baths and ice?). Sometimes I find it so tough that I keep crying during conditioning.

I also can't get my skills back and my coach keeps telling me to be braver and try harder, but my body has changed a ton so I feel uncoordinated. I keep getting too tired in the middle of training and can't do my best. I've been crying every practice and I hate it since the coaches make me feel bad about it. Is it okay to cry? Thank you.

 

[Kiwi]

I think crying has been discussed a lot here and there are a lot of different opinions. Some people seem to be absolutely against any crying. Personally, I think it is okay to cry if you are in pain (some coaches in our gym push girls in splits and the girls sure cry at the time), or even if you are very frustrated, as long as you do it discreetly, that is, quietly to yourself so as not to attract attention, and then pick yourself up and carry on. If you feel like you're going to have a real meltdown, maybe go off to the toilets and come back once you are feeling calmer.

You will get your strength and flexibility back if you keep at it. It is hard now because you have been away, but over time it will come back. It isn't really a good idea to take Advil all the time. I would recommend an epsom salts bath after training, before your muscles get sore. It will relax the muscles and help to prevent them getting sore.

Have you tried talking to your coach about how you are feeling? All coaches push gymnasts to try harder. The coach might be trying to motivate you, not realising that unintentionally it is demotivating you instead! This situation happened with my daughter a couple of years ago. Keep at it, if you still love gymnastics, and I'm sure you'll get through this rough patch.

 

[Flipomaniak]

The fast that your coach is pushing you shows that he/she believes in you! Normally coaches don't push girls they know can't do it. you have been out for so long and it's completely normal to have lost your skills. Why don't you try to figure out why you're having trouble getting your skills back? Is it fear, strength, coordination...? Once you figure this out you can start trying to overcome it.

As for crying, there are many opinions but my team is not allowed to cry, unless your hurt! I hate crying so everytime I feel the tears behind my eyes I start doing random math problems in my head (super simple like: 6 + 5 = 11, 11 - 2 = 9, 9 X 3 = 27...) looking at a bright light also helps. I think crying makes things worse, it makes me tired and frustrated, my vision foggy and I can't focus. So try to control it so you're not crying every practice.

 

[gymmommy123]

How long are your practices? I think maybe you should talk with your parents and your coach. If you are truly too tired to do the workouts, I think you might be best to ask if you could leave 30-60 minutes early, just for a few weeks, until you have adjusted to the workouts. When my daughter jumped from a 1 1/2 hr practice to a gym that wanted her to do 4 hr practices, they suggested she workout for 3 hrs at first, until she was ready for 4. It only took about 2 weeks, and she then was ready for the longer workout, and didn't get frustrated and exhausted while adjusting. Assure them that you will work your VERY hardest for the time you are there, and once you stop feeling so overwhelmed and sore, you will work back up to the regular practice schedules. IMHO, a 2 hour practice where you are working your BEST, without crying, and without feeling utterly exhausted, is better than, say, 3 hours, of feeling awful. I would work also, on trying to control your emotions in the gym. Either excuse yourself to the bathroom, or let your frustration out at home. If you are crying every workout, it doesn't sound fun at all and it can be uncomfortable for your teammates and coach. There is no harm in taking a little time to get back into things again. Also, doing a little flexibility at home, on your off days, may help too. Sitting in splits for a few minutes while watching your favorite tv shows can really help, and without the pressure your feeling at the gym. Hang in there!