Parents Need help

[esor]

As a parent, I have been really struggling with possibly having my DD switch gyms now, after 2 meets into the season. My intent was to stick out the season, as I felt it would be unfair to my DD to do this now. So curious on your thoughts here. Here is the quick background, which I kept short as possible:

1) Sept: HC wanted DD (now age 10) to repeat L7 because she was "scared" of many skills, which surprised me. I spent a week watching practice. Only thing I saw her scared to do was Flip flip on high beam (had it on high beam beginning of summer, lost it, but can still do on "medium" setting beam). But she has a beautiful BWO-BHS, and a RO full dismount. DD kept telling me she could do L8, so I lobbied to owner. Owner observed for a practice, indicated she could go 8. HC was not happy. After long discussion, we moved forward.
2) Fast forward to first meet in Nov - DD qualified for state at L8, took first on vault, floor AA, had highest score on 3 events and AA on our team, highest floor score out of all age groups, 2nd highest floor score out of all age groups. Great meet. HC was not at awards, but learned later and told her "See what you can do when you believe in yourself." I also felt justified.
3) Realization that her success only fueled the fire with HC. I don't watch practice very often, but at least once a week HC would come up to me at end of practice to let me know every practice issue DD had.

 

[esor]

Somehow hit post before finished.

3) Realization that her success only fueled the fire with HC. I don't watch practice very often, but at least once a week HC would come up to me at end of practice to let me know every practice issue DD had.
a- Wouldn't do double back into pit from floor - made her stay 3 rotations and tried calling me to send her home because she was upset.
b- Wouldn't vault for long after heel was hurting (she has Severs, so we are constantly dealing with that) - but he thinks it is really because she scared.
c - Different day wouldn't do back tumbling for long because heel was hurting - but he says it's just because she's scared - DD says she is not
d- Vault was good, but had a dismount issue on beam - again, she is scared (DD missed a foot on dismount, so was hesitant for 2 practices, but all is fine now)
e- She is so scared, she is turning into girl (who he named) that had lost all back tumbling (this put me over the edge, and not even close to reality)
f- He doesn't believe she has any heel pain as she can front tumble without pain, so it is fear of back tumbling (ridiculous)
It goes on an on, these were just a few items. But reality is, I feel like he is trying to pigeon hole her as a scardy cat. And I have watched practice, and don't see it - especially compared to the other girls. My concern is, DD came to me and indicated that coach doesn't believe her when heel is hurting, thinks she is scared, when she isn't. Second meet, she still outscored her team mates on 3 events and AA. I feel like coach is mad she is doing well. More importantly, I am concerned he is giving her a complex that has hit her self esteem. She doesn't look happy much anymore, but still says she loves gymnastics.
I am really frustrated, but realize I might be to close to this and may be overreacting. Trying to hold out the rest of season. Am I being a CGM? I am so frustrated I can't talk to coach right now, but know I should. Would love to know thoughts, including from other coaches.

By the way, right before we went on vacation he came up to me and said they are taking a different approach with her, and trying to help her relax and be happy. What??? Now you say this? (yes, this did annoy me )

 

[gymmomtoo]

Is the coach aware she has a severs diagnosis and a legitimate reason for heel pain? Personally I wouldn't try to switch gyms mid season unless there was more going on but I would ask for a meeting with HC (wouldn't go over his head again to owner) and say you're concerned that he's attributing the pain from severs to fear. I think your daughter should be at the meeting so you can all discuss why he's feeling that way and make a plan together

 

[LizzieLac]

Has a doctor diagnosed Severs? I know our HC has had issues with kids and their parents self-diagnosing pain. So better to have a doctor's written diagnosis to arm yourself.

At the end of then day, I think you should have a discussion with HC and owner together as it sounds like you are really unhappy and distrustful of this coach. I wouldn't tee up the conversation that way, but rather "help me problem solve training and expectations while DD is struggling with doctor diagnosed severs...i.e. what do you normally do or expect from girls with this condition?"

Good luck!!

 

[esor]

Thanks! And yes, the coach knows. We have been to the doctor 2 times in the past year, and spoke to the HC after both times - last time was October. DD is better after taking a break, no surprise. The pain ebbs and flows of course when she grows specifically. We did have a meeting too with my DD, oh back in November. At our meeting, he told her he felt like she wasn't communicating. Okay, so now she is communicating and telling him her foot hurts sometimes, and he doesn't believe her. I feel like we are going in circles.

Sigh. Its frustrating. I do need to talk to him again.

 

[gymmomtoo]

Sounds like he needs a reminder that while the injury may be healed she still has flare ups of severs

 

[Seeker]

All of those things would give me pause too....I would talk to him again if you think it will help and not hinder, make it thru competition season (unless something escalates) and then reevaluate. I find it curious that he feels the need to "try a new approach" -- is that for him or her?

She's clearly having success, so it's a little odd that he's reporting training "issues" to you like the red-yellow-green behavior cards they pass out in Kindergarten. Training is training...some days are great, some not so great. They move forward little by little by the work they do each day. Hopefully he doesn't get so lost in the details he can't see her success.

 

[munchkin3]

Hmmmmmm, keep a close eye. Some people don't like teaching certain ages, or personalities.
MyDS went through a year of hell with a coach who hated everything he did. He was always hurting, always off in the corner ignored, and conditioning.

Your coach should be thrilled at how well she is doing. Maybe he/she has a tough time dealing with kids and fear?
Either way, keep a close eye......at your DDs behavior and the coaches.

 

[esor]

She's clearly having success, so it's a little odd that he's reporting training "issues" to you like the red-yellow-green behavior cards they pass out in Kindergarten. Training is training...some days are great, some not so great. They move forward little by little by the work they do each day. Hopefully he doesn't get so lost in the details he can't see her success.[/QUOTE]

That is exactly what I feel like, the mention of behavior cards! Also, I suspect that what munchkin 3 said May be true, that he doesn't do well with the young ones. He used to be a high school coach and just seems to relate better to the teenagers.

And, thanks for all of this. My logical side was saying wait out the season and evaluate, while my emotional side was starting to get the better of me and telling me something different. I think I will stick with logical side for now. My daughter seems happier too after having a good vacation, so hoping this sticks for a while.