Parents Parent Observation Policies

[MILgymFAM]

I usually get there 5-10mins before the end. If a child has learnt a new skill & wants to show, they ring a bell. All the gymnasts sit and watch and the parents watch too (as far as I know it only happens at the end of the session). My eldest dd has rung the bell once.
Watching her definitely affects her performance, at a recent f&v comp she asked me to go to the toilet when it was her turn on the vault.

DDs gym has a bell also. It's great to watch the girls ring it all excited and everyone immediately stop what they are doing to watch and clap.

Also, since DDs floor is a cartwheel-cartwheel in comps, I am glad I see practice, or I wouldn't know she can do BHS, FHS, front fly springs, front tucks.. Or a squat on and glide swing on bars, or a FHS vault, or a BWO and front tuck dismount on beam... You get my point. Because her coach takes the approach of competing the least requirements as clean as can be, I wouldn't see DD do new things, ever. Xcel bronze just doesn't have many requirements.

 

[beamer]

This subject comes up on a fairly regular basis and has been at the heart of some heated debates over the years. Even just seeing a thread with any sort of "watching at the gym" theme makes me think of that funny little graphic of the cartoon man eating popcorn while raptly watching the proceedings (posted by cbifoja recently after a thread went awry).

Anyway.

I would not tolerate being told I could not watch.

With that said, I think it is better for parents to stay the heck out of the gym, for many of the reasons coach Marie stated. I consider myself to be a pretty enlightened, non-competitive, overly prone to self examination kinda person, yet I find myself having bad thoughts and doing bad things after watching at the gym. Things like asking when certain skills might be attempted or like suggesting a certain skill might need to be attempted if a certain gymnast wants to move to a certain level or like noting that DD's friend Suzie has her double back into the pit (hint, hint). Etc., etc., etc.

I think it is the nature of the beast, for most people, that watching at the gym causes modest to extreme anxiety, which then leads to CGP behaviors. We all want our kids to do well, succeed and contribute to the all-around well-being of the gene pool. How can they do that if they are not trying new things, paying rapt attention to the coaches, focusing with laser-like precision on skills, being the hardest workers around?

It's better to not be watching if all these parameters are not being met. As far as watching because it's the only time you have with your kid? I am going to suggest that it would be better quality time to take her out for a one-on-one activity eked out from a couple hours of non-gym time.

Keep in mind I am making my case based on DD being at a safe gym with competent, loving, firm and fair coaches. I watched all the time at the old gym, where the coaching was questionable -- regularly.

 

[Gymdaddio]

I show up about 4x / year and sit upstairs, far away, and behind glass. Invariably DD will be giving a wave within minutes. She says she feels my presence and it's "unagi."

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I stay at the gym on her 2/3 hour practices because of distance and the fact that fuel here is $10.25 a gallon, but watching is a bit of an overstatement. We stay in the cafe which has a video feed on the plasma, but only floor is in focus, so you can play guess the gymnast for the other events.

 

[cbifoja]

it's "unagi."

Sushi!!!!!

 

[OzZee]

For those that aren't allowed to view at all, when do you get to see new skills the kids have?
Only at a competition? So maybe not for years?
At our gym most parents arrive in the last 5-15 minutes and there is often a kid showing off their latest skill to their/all the parents. We have a fairly small team and it's always exciting to see any of the kids get to show off and be cheered on.
The club has a very friendly family feel.

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

I show up about 4x / year and sit upstairs, far away, and behind glass. Invariably DD will be giving a wave within minutes. She says she feels my presence and it's "unagi."

Ross!

 

[Gymdaddio]

 

[3rd_time_around]

I've been watching for 11 years (not every practice, not the entire practice), sometimes because I had no carpool and lived 45 min away, sometimes because I wanted to, sometimes because I was driving carpool both ways (the distance thing again), and mainly because I LOVE to watch my daughter the GYMNAST! I think she is amazing, I think what she does is amazing, I get excited watching her be a gymnast. I don't coach over the rail, never have. I don't do it because I don't trust the coaches. I don't do it because I'm afraid things are going on that shouldn't be. I watch because I love it! Isn't that enough?

 

[LIGYMMOM]

Our gym has a no viewing policy, and we are asked to not enter the gym any more than 10 minutes early. Parents are a "distraction". And I get it, I totally do. I don't like it, but I get it. Parents tend to interfere whether we see it or not. But...half of the coaches my dd talks about, I could not pick out of a lineup. How am I supposed to trust them with my little girl when I know nothing about them? I wish there were a way to somehow get to know these coaches and see a bit of what she's learning (because those compulsory routines get a bit old after a few meets) without sitting and watching practice. I feel like a cootie when I'm inside the doors of the gym. But dd is quite happy there so she will stay put.

 

[Natasha]

Our optional coach has started videoing skills especially now that they are up training. He just started posting them to our team FB page, so it is really cool to get to see the closeups (and sometimes slow-mo) of the new skills the girls are working on.

 

[TxGymMom1]

I heard a rumor (and that may be all that it is) that our gym was toying with the idea of not allowing parents to watch practice. While I understand why the coaches might not want the parents watching, the idea of not allowing it at all kind of rubs me the wrong way. Not that I watch often, but I want the option of observing on occasion, or at least peeking in.

How would you feel about this? Does anyone have a gym that doesn't allow parent viewing?

Our gym technically does allow it -- the rule states that we can watch the equivalent of one class per week. The coach's discourage it though-- not being allowed at all would aggravate me as well. The DO not make it enjoyable though ... team girls practice at the very back of the gym ... and we are sitting on the bottom floor with rec kids in front of us -- so you almost need binoculars.

 

[z2akids]

Our gym requests that team parents not stay on nights with heavy The rec classes. We have one family member who stays every practice the entire practice. - 9 hours a week. They only live 20 minutes away, so that isn't much an excuse. If she can't be there, she has another family member stay. I think it has turned her into a CGP.

Her gymnast looks to her constantly to make sure she is watching. She waits for thumbs ups, etc. I think it hinders the child's progress to need that approval. This past season the coaches had to talk to the gymnast about it not being proper to salute her family member after saluting the judges at competitions.

The constant viewing has caused issues between team parents as well. One girl had a lot of private lessons to get caught up and as a result developed a close relationship with one of her coaches. CGP took that as favoritism and caused problems for this girl and her family by spreading rumors and otherwise freezing that family out of the team family.

I like to watch my DD's progress beyond just 6-8 meets a year. I would not be okay with an entire ban. I come about 20 minutes early to practice about every couple of weeks and stay and watch a whole practice about every 4-6 weeks. When I drop off before work, I stay about 10-15 minutes, but that is only warm ups. My DD doesn't even notice when I am there. I see her looking around after practice as if she isn't sure who might be picking her up even when I have been there for the entire practice. I see progress a lot more this way than watching every day.

I cannot imagine having 9-20 hours a week to sit in a gym and just observe. We do things as a family or just special time for the two of us frequently. Her practices do not prevent that from happening. Gym time would not be quality time for us, so I don't consider it our "time together."

 

[JBS]

I heard a rumor (and that may be all that it is) that our gym was toying with the idea of not allowing parents to watch practice. While I understand why the coaches might not want the parents watching, the idea of not allowing it at all kind of rubs me the wrong way. Not that I watch often, but I want the option of observing on occasion, or at least peeking in.

How would you feel about this? Does anyone have a gym that doesn't allow parent viewing?

As a parent...I would not allow my child at a gym that does not allow viewing. As a coach...I think having a viewing policy is good..."no viewing" is not a good policy.

 

[munchkin3]

Our gym has no rules about watching, but there is a silent desire from the coaches for parents to leave, or let the kids work uninterrupted.
With that said, I am breaking the umbilical cord this summer!!!!!! YAY!!! I'm so excited because my little gymmie is 9 and she always wants me to 'stay and watch'.
It is so distracting when I'm there. She always glances at me or will make a gesture to 'watch this'....it's cute, and I really do love it, but it's time. I'm so happy to be free!
The one hitch, our gym does not have a bathroom in close proximity. To get there you must walk through the athletic building where you need to have a person 12+ to take you. I usually take my DD but I'm sure they will have it all figured out by team camp and have a group bathroom break.
Did I say how excited I was to NOT have to sit there anymore????
It will be so much better for her to be on her own and she can really focus for herself and I totally trust the coaches.
I would not be happy with a 'forbidden to stay' policy, but I can easily see how it becomes abused, and can be an 'addiction' from both sides of the glass. I think a case by case basis is the best policy.

 

[tooootsie]

Our gyms written rule is that Parents may watch 1 practice a month. The gym really doesn't care if you stay as long as you don't interfere. The only time I throw that rule out is to avoid staying at practice. My lil gymmies (5 & 7) always want me to stay. I typically watch the last 30 mins. Sometimes on Saturday practices I have stayed the whole time, but only because I am chatting with other moms. I hardly watch.lol

 

[heatherncastro]

I usually stay but the class is rec and it's only an hour . Mostly just chatting with the other moms . We've been having " closed practice " the past few cause they are getting ready for a spring performance & I think sometimes he does better if I'm NOT there . There is a team parent who is constantly " coaching " the child , and tbh is very annoying , and I feel bad for the kid .


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[Moxiegrl83]

Most of our new preteam parents stay the 2 hrs and watch practice. Level 3 and up, parents rarely stay and watch. There are a couple parents that do regularly stay and watch, and they are literally the only parents in the gym. The last 20-30 minutes of practice some of the parents will come in to chat, see any new skills, and pick up their gymmies. So far there haven't been any issues with parent viewing.

 

[myliljunebugs]

I've been preparing my gymmie for me to not watch. Most of the preteam parents watch every minute of every class and I was one of them. I drive over 30 minutes to the gym and don't go back home but have started running errands during part of class or even just sitting in the car and reading. Anything but watching the whole class. This summer her classes jump to 3 hours instead of 90 minutes and I am definitely not staying for all of it. Plus she is constantly checking to see if I'm watching, or saying "hey mom, look at this!", or other distractions. It's not good for her for me to be there the whole time. And I want to see a jump in improvement so I'm going to (try) to stay away for at least 3 weeks.

 

[gymmama999]

My DD's old gym had a half hour a day limit on viewing which was never enforced. We did have the odd CGM yelling down from the viewing area that little Susie needs a mat, or so and so pushed in front of Susie, but that was just the annoying parent type. Most of the time I was there to chat with my gym mom friends, but as the verbal abuse started to get worse for my DD, I came more often.

The new gym is awesome, we can go anytime, I like that option, although often I have to drop and run and when I pick up it is usually stretching or conditioning so not much to see. She is getting older now and couldn't care less if I am there lol

I think parents should have the option to view at least for part of the session. It is a lot of money to spend to have no idea how your child is being coached.