Parents parents who were highly competitive athletes...

[notthatmom]

After thinking about it some more, the fact that I was a competitive athlete myself is the reason why I DO want my kids to be highly involved in comparative sports themselves. I come from a huge family (I have 9 siblings) and I was the only one who stuck with a high level competitive sport. I was also the only one who made it into private school, and the only one who made it onto and finished college. I realize I was the "expensive kid", but it's only because I worked my *** off and exceeded more than anyone else did.
Everyone else in my family ended up with poor grades and got into trouble, because they had the time to.
No one else became as successful as I am now, and it has a lot to do with the choices I made at such a young age. One of my sisters (who is my age) finally has a degree, but it took her 10 years (we are 30 now). I joke that I put my kids in activities to "keep them off the streets" but really it's true. I realize now also why I was the first one to get my own car (even though I was definitely not the first kid to get their license...I'm the third youngest)
I want my kids to have all the opportunities that I had, so I am setting them up for it now.
My boss actually said part of the reason he hired me is because of the fact that I was involved in figure skating. He understands how demanding it is, and the discipline it requires, he says my determination shows, and that's part of where it comes from.
As much as I love the crap out of my siblings, I don't want my kids to struggle like they did, and I know how to avoid that.
Kids who are in sports like gym (and dance for my other DD) are taught at a young age how to be successful, not just in their sport, but in life in general.
I think as long as you keep them in a good mindset, and keep them in something that interests them, they will maintain a healthy lifestyle that will provide them with the tools to flourish as a person and contribute positively to society. As cliche as that sounds, it's the absolute truth.
Had I ended up with a negative experience I definitely think my views on high level sports would be different, by my experience was 100% positive, so I am a huge advocate of high level sports beginning at an early age.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

^^^^^^^^ I guess "struggle" is relative as is how you measure that and success.

I know many successful people who don't own a car or even have a food rivers license.

My husband is very successful at what he does. He did take a different path though. Didn't start on his MBA until his son was 2 and he was in his 30s. And now in his 50s finally getting his CPA (one part left, and I am holding my breathe for him).

Part of what made his path slower is he was pushed in a direction that wasn't a good fit for him by his parents. Had he been allowed to peruse his own path he would of gotten to where he is before thirty.

Being somewhere first or before a certain age and having things, is not the only benchmark odd success.

But then I'm 25plus years a head of you.

 

[exgymnastmomx3]

After thinking about it some more, the fact that I was a competitive athlete myself is the reason why I DO want my kids to be highly involved in comparative sports themselves. I come from a huge family (I have 9 siblings) and I was the only one who stuck with a high level competitive sport. I was also the only one who made it into private school, and the only one who made it onto and finished college. I realize I was the "expensive kid", but it's only because I worked my *** off and exceeded more than anyone else did.
Everyone else in my family ended up with poor grades and got into trouble, because they had the time to.
No one else became as successful as I am now, and it has a lot to do with the choices I made at such a young age. One of my sisters (who is my age) finally has a degree, but it took her 10 years (we are 30 now). I joke that I put my kids in activities to "keep them off the streets" but really it's true. I realize now also why I was the first one to get my own car (even though I was definitely not the first kid to get their license...I'm the third youngest)
I want my kids to have all the opportunities that I had, so I am setting them up for it now.
My boss actually said part of the reason he hired me is because of the fact that I was involved in figure skating. He understands how demanding it is, and the discipline it requires, he says my determination shows, and that's part of where it comes from.
As much as I love the crap out of my siblings, I don't want my kids to struggle like they did, and I know how to avoid that.
Kids who are in sports like gym (and dance for my other DD) are taught at a young age how to be successful, not just in their sport, but in life in general.
I think as long as you keep them in a good mindset, and keep them in something that interests them, they will maintain a healthy lifestyle that will provide them with the tools to flourish as a person and contribute positively to society. As cliche as that sounds, it's the absolute truth.
Had I ended up with a negative experience I definitely think my views on high level sports would be different, by my experience was 100% positive, so I am a huge advocate of high level sports beginning at an early age.

 

[notthatmom]

^^^^^^^^ I guess "struggle" is relative as is how you measure that and success.

I know many successful people who don't own a car or even have a food rivers license.

My husband is very successful at what he does. He did take a different path though. Didn't start on his MBA until his son was 2 and he was in his 30s. And now in his 50s finally getting his CPA (one part left, and I am holding my breathe for him).

Part of what made his path slower is he was pushed in a direction that wasn't a good fit for him by his parents. Had he been allowed to peruse his own path he would of gotten to where he is before thirty.

Being somewhere first or before a certain age and having things, is not the only benchmark odd success.

But then I'm 25plus years a head of you.

Oh I absolutely agree that people can be successful no matter what path they chose, or what their upbringing was like. Sorry if I came across stating that negatively.
My husband didn't go to college (he was in the military) and he has a "broken" past....but he now has an amazing career, which most people would never imagine to obtain without a degree or formal training.
As long as you have the drive and determination to make the best life you can for yourself that's really all that matters.
I was just saying in my particular family situation, and for me personally, sports are a big reason why I myself was successful, and I think if I weren't as accomplished in my sport, the environment I grew up in could have easily influenced me to go on a path that would drastically change my lifestyle and what I could become.


Hope that helps clarify things. I in no way meant that someone's life is destined for failure if they're not "successful" early on in life. Sorry if I came off that way.

 

[duyetanh]

Eta: one thing about having done an intense sport for 20 years is I can at least relate to a lot of the pressure sports can bring. This does seem to help.

 

[GymmieC]

Beautiful post ! Thank you! I just love my kids for who they are, gifts from above. I can't really say more. Nothing else matters to me.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Kids who are in sports like gym (and dance for my other DD) are taught at a young age how to be successful, not just in their sport, but in life in general.
I think as long as you keep them in a good mindset, and keep them in something that interests them, they will maintain a healthy lifestyle that will provide them with the tools to flourish as a person and contribute positively to society. As cliche as that sounds, it's the absolute truth.
Had I ended up with a negative experience I definitely think my views on high level sports would be different, by my experience was 100% positive, so I am a huge advocate of high level sports beginning at an early age.

And you can learn those things and be competitive and not live in a sport as in 20-30 hours a week necessarily.

And it is very much child dependent. Keeping a kid in a sport they don't want to be in or at hours that make them miserable. The harm to the child will out weigh any potential gains. And can cause life long harm.

 

[notthatmom]

And you can learn those things and be competitive and not live in a sport as in 20-30 hours a week necessarily.

And it is very much child dependent. Keeping a kid in a sport they don't want to be in or at hours that make them miserable. The harm to the child will out weigh any potential gains. And can cause life long harm.

I agree with you. I wouldn't keep my kid in a sport they don't want to be in.

 

[B.Gold]

Oh I absolutely agree that people can be successful no matter what path they chose, or what their upbringing was like. Sorry if I came across stating that negatively.

You didn't sound negative to me at all. Your life was enhanced by sports. I love to hear these stories. It makes me appreciate my dd's journey more. And my dh wouldn't be who he is today without wrestling. You and my dh's up bringing sound very similar. Sports, and his coaches, strongly influenced his life, in a way his struggling family couldn't.

 

[Eleven sol]

Thanks for all the responses. I have enjoyed reading all the different perspectives. I agree also that sports has a positive impact, but moderation as with most things is beneficial. That said, kids who are highly competitive sometimes don't do moderation well. I have had to learn moderation as an adult, which for me has been a hard lesson! That is what I am trying to instill in my kids as well as a love for sports. I care more about that emotional stability than how far they go in any sport. Ultimately I think that takes you further in life than sports success. We will see how that goes! I think for me the pressure just got too much as I got older. Not sure how that could have been changed... Lots of factors at play when you are a teen. But overtraining was definitely a factor for me and a coach who was the definition of unfun. But honestly I just shifted my focus to something else that I loved and ended up more than fine. My parents were surprised but supported me in my decision.

 

[Amanda Adams]

I may appreciate you for sharing your problem here. Well i think it depends on own choice of getting into sports or not, noone can ever force children for their own matter.But it would be a reward if kid personally having interest in sports.