WAG Please help! How to help a gymnast who has gone downhill and a complicated situation

[Gymikat]

Hi, sorry this is so long, its a bit rambley and venty but any and all advice is much appreciated. TIA

Ok let me just begin this by saying the situation with our gym is not necessarily an appropriate one.

Some of you may remember my first post I did a while ago about my sister (8) who was getting too big for her boots and had stopped working hard in the gym and at home however I took the advice on here and have since completely stopped working with her at home and just in the gym like any other kid that I coach. But I've been very unwell recently and stuck at home in bed so I haven't been to the gym in almost a month.

So I got to see her work for the first time today and it has severely gone downhill, I'm not even sure she'll pass. From what I've seen and know from today I know that another girl has been quite nasty to her recently which I know has really hurt her confidence. Head coach has also been making comments such as that shes not the best anymore and that other girls are going to beat her etc (not sure if this is very inappropriate or I'm just overreacting).

I've been thinking of pulling her out of this competition but I'm not sure this is sending the right message or whether I should help her at home just until the competition on Saturday.

If she doesn't do well I don't think that she will mind too much but the head coach has been hoping for her favourite to win all year instead of my sister and she'll go on and on and on about it to her but also she'll rub it in my face which is a big part of the reason I want to pull her out. I do know this is very selfish so please let me know if I just need to suck it up.

I just don't want this situation to affect her gymnastics so much that she stops enjoying it.

Please help!
Thank you

 

[Sari]

What level is she? I distantly remember your last post, but not in detail. What does "downhill" mean to you? What do your parents think? I would suspect they have an interest in this as well.

Anyway. Unless letting her compete is a safety risk, I don't see a reason here for pulling her out. You said yourself that she wouldn't mind not being a top finisher.

Instead, it seems to me that you would be mad/sad to see her beaten by this other girl. If so, you do need to suck it up and address the issue in a polite conversation with the adult in question.
Don't drag your little sister into the middle of a problem you seem to be having with the HC. Just my two cents.

 

[munchkin3]

A few things come to mind for me. Does she try harder when you are there to impress you? Does the gym focus on her more when you are there? If these things are something you suspect, then I would think of alternative programs. A good program will keep the majority, if not all the girls progressing....Usually if one begins regressing it is for a reason.....Problem with the coach, problem with other kids, or problem with the parents, etc. The gym coaches should be able to handle minor 'kid' issues and keep em learning, if not, then maybe its a gym problem.

Another thing I think about is if your sister is doing gymnastics for the right reasons? Does SHE love it, or do YOU love it....could she be trying to please you? And now that you are not there, she has no motivation? If this is the case, then she will probably not last long....shes gotta own her love for gymnastics. Hopefully she may discover this in the next meet. If she loves it and wants to do well, she better get to work. If she wants to be the best, she's got to work for it. You know as well as any gymnasts that in order to be successful at this sport (or any other) you must learn how to fail in order to win....you cant have it only one way. If your sister is having a hard time dealing with not being the favorite anymore, then you must teach her the value of 'failing' and how it could help motivate her to do better. If she is having a hard time no longer being the best, then you have to help her through it and her attitude is key.

I remember we had a kid years ago who was a prodigy....he beat everyone always by several points, at every meet, for 3 years.....until one day someone beat him......

 

[duyetanh]

...and then I am betting that kid quit....just a guess. I personally think it is good NOT to be a prodigy and plug along and bust your butt and then the victory is that much sweetrr....
My two cents.

 

[sce]

Let her compete. Your ego needs to stay out of it. Gymnastics is her thing. If she hasn't been working hard, then she will reap the proper results and it may make her change her work ethic, or not. Let her experience her journey.

 

[munchkin3]

...and then I am betting that kid quit....just a guess. I personally think it is good NOT to be a prodigy and plug along and bust your butt and then the victory is that much sweetrr....
My two cents.

Actually duyetanh, the kid made it through and his parents helped him by basically telling him to 'suck it up, buttercup'.
He is still in the top 10 in the country.

 

[Gymikat]

Thank you all so much I guess I just needed someone talking me down. I'm completely staying out of it and letting the results speak for themselves.

 

[Sari]

Yessss, there you go! By the way, I totally understand being protective of your little sister, this is just not the place to openly express that feeling

 

[munchkin3]

Gymkat, she is lucky to have such a wonderful sister......

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Hi, sorry this is so long, its a bit rambley and venty but any and all advice is much appreciated. TIA

Ok let me just begin this by saying the situation with our gym is not necessarily an appropriate one.

Some of you may remember my first post I did a while ago about my sister (8) who was getting too big for her boots and had stopped working hard in the gym and at home however I took the advice on here and have since completely stopped working with her at home and just in the gym like any other kid that I coach. But I've been very unwell recently and stuck at home in bed so I haven't been to the gym in almost a month.

So I got to see her work for the first time today and it has severely gone downhill, I'm not even sure she'll pass. From what I've seen and know from today I know that another girl has been quite nasty to her recently which I know has really hurt her confidence. Head coach has also been making comments such as that shes not the best anymore and that other girls are going to beat her etc (not sure if this is very inappropriate or I'm just overreacting).

I've been thinking of pulling her out of this competition but I'm not sure this is sending the right message or whether I should help her at home just until the competition on Saturday.

If she doesn't do well I don't think that she will mind too much but the head coach has been hoping for her favourite to win all year instead of my sister and she'll go on and on and on about it to her but also she'll rub it in my face which is a big part of the reason I want to pull her out. I do know this is very selfish so please let me know if I just need to suck it up.

I just don't want this situation to affect her gymnastics so much that she stops enjoying it.

Please help!
Thank you

what? are you her mom or her sister?? how can you "pull" her out??? it must be my age...