WAG Scratched meet - am I overreacting?

[Ginger]

Our first meet of the season – and the very first L4 meet for my girls (they both competed L3 last season) is tomorrow. Last night, it was their last before-meet practice, and all seemed to go well. My YDD has a lot of issues with her form, and as I caught the end of the practice, I was very surprised how well she looked on beam. Never saw her so tight and focused before.
Then, on the way home my YDD started crying and said the coach told her (after the practice) that she wouldn’t be allowed to do the first meet (which is tomorrow). My husband called the gym immediately (it was quite late – around 9pm), the office manager (who is in charge of meet fees etc..) didn’t know anything about my daughter being scratched off meet, but the coach was still there and she confirmed what my daughter said.
I wouldn’t have problem with missing the first meet, IF we were informed about it by someone in charge and IF we were given a valid reason. The coach claimed she can’t let my DD compete because she would score in 3s. I know a bit about gymnastics/scoring and I know my daughter has all the skills, she is able to perform them all consistently and safely, and she knows the routines. Her main deductions would be on form, so I guess it would be probably somewhere in 7s or low 8s. We’re not one of the high-scoring gyms and last season, the girls (both L3 and L4) were allowed to compete even with inconsistent or missing skills.
Is this something that normally happens? Coach (or owner, or office manager, or whoever is in charge) not telling the parents about scratching meet, and expecting a little girl (she is 8) to deliver the message? If I know beforehand, I could guide my little girl during all the disappointment, but we were caught off guard and it was very rough night for all of us, even my ODD was upset and my YDD couldn’t stop crying even in the morning.
I am so upset. Am I crazy or overreacting if I think this isn’t right?

 

[z2akids]

When you say issues with form, are you taking about a lack of pointed toes or safety issues, like hitting her head or her RO2BHS?

I would expect the coach to talk to me if she planned for my DD to not compete an event or an entire meet.

 

[gymdog]

Wait...didn't you pay for the meet? No, this isn't how it usually works. There is a scratch deadline. Besides the coach could have put her in as a level 3.

 

[cbifoja]

On this short of notice, I'd be pissed if this was the first time I was hearing about the possibility of scratching!!!!

 

[Ginger]

@z2akids - Pointed toes is what is missing. As for her RoBHSBHS, sometimes she separates her legs/knees and her knees are not always straight, but she does rebound after the 2nd BHS, and last time she hit her head on this skill was more than one year ago.

 

[profmom]

For compulsory girls, the way DD's gym does it is to have a practice meet 2-4 weeks out. If they don't do well enough at the practice meet, they can't compete at the first meet, but I can't think of any girl ever having been told she couldn't do the first meet on the basis of the practice meet. For optionals, if they are not ready on a particular event, they might be scratched, and it might happen as late as within 4-5 days of the meet, but the coaches will try to water the routine down so that it's compete-able even if it's not a full value routine. Once the girls are optionals, I can't imagine a coach having this conversation with the parents rather than the gymnast.

What happened to your daughter would be surprising and upsetting to me, though my reaction would also depend on what kind of meet is coming up. If it's a little in house thing or a small meet the next town over, I'd be less upset than if it were a big meet that everyone has been anticipating for months.

If I were you, I'd try to talk to the head coach today, not necessarily to argue with the decision, but to try to understand what happened so that I could explain it to my DD. In particular, I'd want to know if this has been coming for a while or if it was suddenly sprung on her right before the meet.

 

[IreneKa]

Not overreacting! I would be absolutely pissed! Call them and demand to speak with the owner or HC. I really doubt she would score so low on all 4 events. If it's just one or two events, then why not scratch them, instead of the entire meet?
Sounds like something happened at that practice, the coach got mad with her for some reason and punishing her. Not all right.

 

[Ginger]

Wait...didn't you pay for the meet? No, this isn't how it usually works. There is a scratch deadline. Besides the coach could have put her in as a level 3.

I could live with the non-refundable meet fee. What bothers me is that the coach didn't even bother to discuss the option(s) with us. She actually didn't even bother to tell us. So, the total lack of communication is what upsets me. I don't know what is this all about.
My daughter didn't do the L3 routines since March and I am sure she would do much worse in L3 than in L4 tomorrow.

 

[Amusibus]

I'd be angry too. It irks me how gyms seem to treat kids as little adults. Last minute scratch at our gym is usually due to illness, injury, or deep snow, not a fear of low scores. And I assume you paid already and will not get your money back. Stuff like this is so unprofessional, like no regard for the families/customers at all. I understand the gymnastics itself being between the coach and gymnast, but this is a business matter and should be primarily between the gym and the parents.

 

[Ginger]

Thanks for all the replies.
My husband emailed the owner last night. I emailed the coach this morning, politely asking about giving my daughter this chance. No one answered, yet. I am not sure what to do tomorrow, but if the coach doesn't write back, I'll probably take it as 'yes, I'll let her compete' and my YDD will be there competition-ready (we need to be there with my ODD anyway).

 

[motigymnasticsmom]

I don't think I'd just be angry or pissed, but LIVID!!! ID probably swing between shouting and leaving. They are messing with your kid and making HER cry. Its totally unfair to you all, including the gym and other parents.

 

[Sasha]

I would be upset that the coach did not talk to you directly and told your daughter only (especially assuming she is young, yes? Like under age 10?).

Here, all meet fees are paid in advance, whether or not a gymnast will be 'scratched' for any event or any meet. Even States are paid in advance. If you don't make it, no refund. Sounds like that isn't your issue anyway, but just for a data point.

However, here, parents and gymnasts are informed a few weeks, at least, before the start of the season if there is a likelihood of scratching any events or a meet. The parents are told to assume Susie will not compete the event unless informed otherwise. Later, the coaches will share the 'happy news' with the gymnast and parents after a successful practice that has shown enough progress that she is now ready to compete the event. Everyone celebrates. Yay. This sounds like the opposite of what you have experienced in that no one warned you that she might not be up to whatever the coaches' criteria are, so the assumption is that everything is great. That is a disservice to your daughter and you, and, frankly, a pretty low thing to do to a kid.

Unless your gymnasts has suddenly developed a block, fear, or other issue with skills or performance that are affecting her routine (which could be a valid reason for a scratch), it seems unusual that a child would suddenly not be ready. But even if that it the case, they absolutely should have spoken with you after class and explained the decision.

Bad form. Boo.

 

[sce]

It is pretty outrageous that it was a sudden decision and not communicated to the parents. If scratching was even being considered then you should have been told that they were thinking about it and why.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

We do scratch kids off of events, even during warmups, but.... Never the whole meet. So I suspect that something actually happened to make that occure, because it doesn't really make sence. Or the coach is making a rash decision. The problem at this point is either way , the child has already been told and reversing this decision will weaken the coaching position, which will weaken the child. So at this point I would probably leave it alone, and see what happens in workout tonight. One thing is certain out of all of this drama, your dd will magically be a Lot cleaner from this point forward. And that is what the coach is trying to do, although its a bit harsh. Just go with it and see how your dd responds and see what happens. She still gets to dress and attend the meet right?

 

[Sari]

Wow. I'd rather tell my gymnasts to leave out a skill they can't perform safely (and as I understand, that isn't even the case here) than scratch them the day before a meet. And obviously talk to their parents about it! You have every right to be upset.

 

[Midwestmommy]

They get a "boooo" on the communication. Eight year olds are not adults and this should be communicated to parents as well.

The meet fee thing is tough, but if it is the last time in her gymnastics you will be one of the lucky ones. Meets get scratched due to injury, illness etc. and it's usually too late to get some of the fees back. So my best advice is to try to let that go. I have had to do it, and I know it's painful.

The trade-off is that you are at a gym that is possibly more flexible and lets gymasts compete when they are ready. This would not happen at some gyms in our area because they compete girls down one or two levels and if they haven't mastered the skills and form a couple of months before meet season, they won't compete that level at all for that season.

In terms of when they are ready to compete, you have to defer to the coaches on that one..I put that in the category that it's one of things I am paying them for, and I just have to respect their opinion on that. Even though it's hard sometimes!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Add, if she still gets to attend the meet,(which I am sure she does), then your response to your child at this point should be, Try super hard and see what happens. Odds are the coach will allow her to warm up on one or two events and prove herself. In the end,,,,, she will get better, but the coach also needs to communicate with you why this happened. Again, I suspect something major must of happened that your DD,,, well,,, just left out.

 

[skschlag]

Lack of communication is the biggest issue here for me. Do you go into the gym to pick them up? Did the coach have an opportunity to approach you and discuss this with you? I woudl need a really really good reason for my ds to be scratched from a meet at the last practice before the meet, and I would want something more than "form issues". Safety issues, attitude issues, etc would be very viable reasons to me and I woudl support the coach 100%, but if it is because he *might* score low, I would be very upset.

Did the coach say she could be on the floor with her team?

 

[Midwestmommy]

Not sure if this will help, but a good exercize might be to look at some of those level 3s working on their mill circles and front hip circles. And try to think to yourself, well hopefully she will be ready to compete four in the next meet or two, and at least I don't have to be watching her do that stupid mill circle or front hip circle anymore!! Glass half full...

 

[curlymop]

I would be furious! Honestly, I would not stay at a gym that would move my child up a level, charge me for a meet, then at the last minute decide she wasn't ready. It's their job to evaluate her before the season and place her in the right level, so unless she was competition ready a few weeks ago and then suddenly lost a bunch of skills this week, this would be unacceptable to me. Obviously, illness or injury would be a different situation. Add to that the fact that they told her but not you? Big problem.