she didn't compete

[sportyfam5]

Thanks to all who gave advice on my daughter suddenly not wanting to compete. She opted not to compete after we talked it over with coaches and gave her several options. She did stay with the team on the competition floor. Thirteen is starting out difficult year as I have heard it can be, especially for gymnasts. At this point she is still ok with practices although prefers 3 days instead of 4. I will continue to encourage her without pushing.

Thanks again for advice and support. Too bad the meet was $100

 

[NotAMom]

I personally think it's better to keep her in the sport with less hours and non-competitive than to take a leave from the gym. You and she have made the right call. Best of luck.

 

[bogwoppit]

Better this way, than her quitting completely. She can continue to train and reevaluate later.

I agree that 13 for girls is a real challenge. I have one as well.

 

[Granny Smith]

Good thing you didn't push her, give her time she may change her mind about competiting. Hang in there - I too, also have a 13 yr old so I'm part of the club too!

 

[Swiftli]

I truly understand the not pushing thing and not competing is fine but I also feel that they need to be held accountable for their prior commitment as well.

If I put out $100 for a meet she agreed to go to, shouldn't she somehow be held accountable for the loss of those funds because she decided to quit before the event?

 

[gymjourneymom]

Sorry you're out $100, but in the big scheme of things it's a small amount pay for your DD's self esteem. I think you're doing the right thing by not pushing her to compete & just letting her train on her terms. 13yrs is tough age all the way around! My DD is 14yrs & the past couple of years have been stressful. But I can see that she is maturing & figuring things out in her own mind now. It's actually very exciting! I love the young woman she has become. Good luck to your DD! Maybe not stressing about competitions is just he stress release valve she needs at this particular time.

 

[bogwoppit]

The money is spent. If she'd had a crap meet would you expect a refund, no, and you sure wouldn't make her pay you back. Sometimes letting go is a good thing.

 

[cathiann]

Glad the gym lets her stay on team without competing. I'm pretty sure ours wouldn't.

 

[bookworm]

I agree with Bog..the money is spent so that's a done deal. Think of it as she was "injured" for the meet ...if you cancel last minute with an injury, you don't get your money back either and her injury may be that menatally, she needs a break, for whatever reason. I don't think making her pay it back is a good idea...she probably feels bad enough as it is and appreciates your support as she sorts this through.

 

[NotAMom]

Glad the gym lets her stay on team without competing. I'm pretty sure ours wouldn't.

That's a true statement! Luckily, ours isn't one of those either (easier on the kids that is).

 

[msl529]

Good for you, sporty!

Your daughter is an individual and needs time & space to understand her own mind about all of this. I am sure she is confused as well.

This is a great chance for her to try some of her own decision-making, and they do need to practice this on some of the 'bigger' life-issues as they mature.

Looking back on our whole saga, I can say my dd is more confident and sure of her own decisions. It was a rocky road, and took quite some time, but the next time a big decision comes around, she has this one to look back on, knowing she can trust herself and be true to herself.

Good luck!

 

[gymnut1]

13 and growing up. Perhaps you could let her know somehow that you value her opinion and attempts at decision making about her own life more than $100. My big dd is 13 and choosing her options at school for GCSE. Every day she comes home with another big idea (media or religious studies? Drama or food tech) She wants to do them all bless her.

 

[bogwoppit]

My big dd is 13 and choosing her options at school for GCSE. Every day she comes home with another big idea (media or religious studies? Drama or food tech) She wants to do them all bless her.

Ooh now you're making me miss old Blighty, the only choices my 13 year old gets to make in high school are whether to have fruit or veg with her lunch. No options here!!!

 

[sportyfam5]

I truly understand the not pushing thing and not competing is fine but I also feel that they need to be held accountable for their prior commitment as well.

If I put out $100 for a meet she agreed to go to, shouldn't she somehow be held accountable for the loss of those funds because she decided to quit before the event?

I struggled with this as well. She was actually willing to give me the $100 from her birthday money. This helped me decide that if she felt that strongly, it was best not to push her. She hasn't quit, she just wants to hold off on competing right now. She still has an interest in the sport and I don't want to destroy her self esteem by pushing her and having her not do well. There were many talks with myself, her dad, her coaches and her. Thanks to the great advice on CB, it helped us determine we did the right thing.

 

[sportyfam5]

The money is spent. If she'd had a crap meet would you expect a refund, no, and you sure wouldn't make her pay you back. Sometimes letting go is a good thing.

Excellent point!! In fact her sister who did compete had her lowest score ever!! However, we had a great time with the team at the hotel and a trip to a science museum and we will pick up the pieces and learn to move on.

Wouldn't it be great if we got our money back for a "crap meet". "Wait I want a do over, that's not what I planned!"

 

[NotAMom]

Wouldn't it be great if we got our money back for a "crap meet". "Wait I want a do over, that's not what I planned!"

In the world of gymnastics I know, I always get "crap" back, no matter the reason including emergency no-shows.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

bwhahahahaahahaha! that just cracked me up.

 

[mariposa]

Late here, but I think you made the right decision Sporty. I hope she can find peace with whatever decision she ends up making.