Anon Bad fit for gym or coach clash?

[Anonymous (6054)]

DD can't hold still. We've worked hard to help her understand and improve her behavior, and it's gotten better, but I believe it will always be a struggle for her. Unfortunately, it drives one of her coaches crazy. I understand the coach's perspective. The coach doesn't need a distraction in class when the other girls can hold still and listen without constantly moving.

Any tips to help her stay still? Coaches, would you hold a gymnast back for this reason?

She is not defiant or snotty. She is kind, encouraging, talented, and she works outrageously hard. Her first coach 2 years ago disliked her. Then she had a great run of coaches who loved her and her positive traits, and the hyperness didn't bother them. But now she found a 2nd coach that she drives nuts.

Any advice? Tips? Is DD a bad fit for gymnastics? Is this just a coach clash?

DD adores gym.

 

[Anonymous (29de)]

I have a child with ADHD who used to have a lot of trouble staying still and on task. Some coaches are great with hyperactive behavior and some really cannot handle it. I do not recommend leaving your child in a setting where they are not capable of being successful. That’s really hard on a child’s self-esteem.

I finally got my child medication and now he can do any activities he wants to do without me having to shop around for coaches who can handle him. It’s a major life improvement for him.

I hope you can find a coach who is a good fit for your daughter.

 

[Carly]

How old is she?

 

[Anonymous (6054)]

I have a child with ADHD who used to have a lot of trouble staying still and on task. Some coaches are great with hyperactive behavior and some really cannot handle it. I do not recommend leaving your child in a setting where they are not capable of being successful. That’s really hard on a child’s self-esteem.

I finally got my child medication and now he can do any activities he wants to do without me having to shop around for coaches who can handle him. It’s a major life improvement for him.

I hope you can find a coach who is a good fit for your daughter.

Thank you for your reply! Yes, I too worry about her self esteem.

It's hard to know what to do with her because she stays in task while she is moving and doing. It's the down time that she struggles with.

 

[Anonymous (6054)]

How old is she?

7

 

[Aussie_coach]

A very large percentage of young kids can’t stand still. At the age of 7 this is not abnormal in any way.

Sometimes I have 40 of them at once bouncing around. They are excited and keen to get started. Their nervous system is still developing.

And many kids will develop at different rates in these areas. The body and brain as many developmental tasks undergo and can only attack a limited number of tasks at a time. Some kids develop the ability to
Hold still earlier, others develop coordination earlier and a host of other things. This trait in itself does not indicate ADHD, many kids struggle with it who do not have ADHD. A diagnosis is only warranted if there are a larger number of varying pervasive symptoms. I know you did not mention ADHD but in 2023, teachers, coaches and other well meaning parents will jump to this conclusion and overly medicalise a normal healthy part of development.

As far as holding still in gymnastics. I find the key for all young kids is to have them sit down when instructions are being given, when the tasks are being explained etc. It makes it much easier for them to focus, as it’s hard not to bounce around when standing.

Once instructions have been given and it’s time to start work, then those with more energy are in a great place. Kids who stand around and move slowly won’t get through as many reps as the energetic ones.

In any gymnastics session there should not be a lot of standing around and waiting for turns. If there is the coaches need to look at structuring the session differently ti ensure every minute is useful and not wasted.

 

[Coach Kate]

Can she channel that energy into something quiet and minimally distracting but productive for gymnastics? Like doing calf raises, tendues , or something like that. Or maybe sitting in a pike and pointing and flexing feet or doing splits.

Also, is the coach inexperienced working with children? I ask because seasoned pros tend to know how to handle things like this and recognizing when a kid is misbehaving vs when they just need help directing their energy. It's definitely something you have to learn as a coach.

 

[Anonymous (6054)]

Thank you, Aussie Coach. I agree with you on multiple points, especially that many 7 year olds struggle, bouncing is just too tempting while standing, and that she has an advantage once they get to work. As her skills have advanced, she's moved into a group where she is multiple years younger than the other girls, so her behavior stands out.

Do you think I should just sit back and let it play out? Or should I see if the coach can ask her to sit down while waiting?

 

[Anonymous (6054)]

Coach Kate, thank you! Calf raises is a great idea! Right now she bounces. I will ask the coach about the other suggestions as well (pike and splits). I think these kinds of things will help her tremendously! And hopefully help the coach be less frustrated too.

I am not sure on this particular coach's experience level, but I know exactly what you mean. Teachers and coaches alike!

 

[Aussie_coach]

It’s useful at all ages. Even my teenagers take in instructions better when they are sitting down to listen.