Parents someone PLEASE read me the riot act! I'm being a CGM!

[GymDad9.9]

you know, it's funny. It does not seem to really be rivalry as much as it is that YDD sort of thinks that her knowledge base is better bc her ODD has done this. She sort of seems to thinking that she can ride ODD's coat tails without realizing how much work ODD did to get there.

When I referred to sibling rivalry earlier, it was this kind of scenario that I also felt might be at play.

 

[sce]

Lol. Let the natural consequence of not getting the move up she wants do its work. And encourage big sis only to offer advice when it's welcome. I have loved watching the relationship between my two sib gymnasts evolve over the years. They provide great support for each other.

I totally agree with this. I see how frustrating it is to watch it happen, but kids learn lessons in different ways. I like to focus on what he kids get out of the sport in the long run. Learning that hard work pays off or vice versatile not working hard means you are left behind, huge lesson. More important than the skills themselves. Also, she is young and if she is already overconfident then it is best if that gets put in check. The most successful gymnasts in the long run understand that they have to work for it.

 

[Anna's_Mom]

I second (or third or fourth) the natural consequences advise. If she can see the check marks and chooses not to work on things, that is her option. Assuming the coach has clearly explained the "need to reach X standard before moving up" (if not, urge coach to do that), let her decide to do it or not. Its on her, not you, to make this work or not. Lots of life lessons to be learned here and you should give her the benefit of learning them.

Now, if doesn't get moved up, I'm sure there will be quite a storm. THAT is when you need wine/margarita/whatever to calmly explain that she needs to get those skills to move up and all gymnasts have to work to get new skills. Rinse and repeat as necessary. The life lesson for us moms to learn at that point is how to let them learn their own lessons. Which is HARD. You want to make everything easy and pain-free. (My kids are teens, been there, done that .) But if we do that, then we end up with college kids who don't know how to handle the work load on their own. I work on a college campus, I see this all the time. I think the theme song for us moms should probably be "Let it go" Good luck and hang in there!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

^^^^^^^that

 

[karenity]

The life lesson for us moms to learn at that point is how to let them learn their own lessons. Which is HARD. You want to make everything easy and pain-free. (My kids are teens, been there, done that .) But if we do that, then we end up with college kids who don't know how to handle the work load on their own. I work on a college campus, I see this all the time. I think the theme song for us moms should probably be "Let it go"

Must start with confessing as a recovering CGM, I struggled with this as well when my kids started gymnastics. Plus being around other CGM's at the gym and meets makes it seem acceptable and normal and good parenting which it isn't.

OP deserves credit for recognizing your own CGM, and coming here to ask for help. I wish I had known about chalkbucket when my kids had started.

Now, looking back as my kids are all teenagers or older, I can see this as an opportunity for a life lesson for your daughter AND yourself as others have said.

The younger she learns this the better, and hopefully you can at some point see this as an opportunity for your daughter to learn from her failures. Much better she learn it now, rather than have a child who is never allowed to fail because they have been over-parented and fail as adults at college like @Anna's_Mom said.

I think this is one of the best things about gymnastics actually. Learning that natural talent or ability will only get you so far, but that hard work is what it takes to progress is an excellent lesson for her to learn.

 

[CuriousCate]

y'all are the best! thank you.

 

[gymmom41]

Agree with everyone else; she'll decide she wants it or not. If it makes you feel better I also get so frustrated when I know my DD isn't giving it her all!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

This thread reminded me of the expression

Little kids, little problems
Big kids, big problems.

Life lessons younger prepare them for the bigger ones they are going to get when older.

 

[NY Dad]

I know too much now and it is turning me into a crazy person. Yes. I will not talk about gym. I will not talk about gym. I will not talk about gym. 100x!

I've totally felt the same way. That's what CB is great for. There are so many things that I'm glad I didn't say to my dd or her coaches because I got them out here.

We're all here for each other.

 

[CuriousCate]

I thought you would all be very proud of me to know that when I picked up YDD from gym yesterday, I didn't even look at the chart and simply asked her if she had fun! AND I went home and had a glass of wine. I wanted a margarita but didn't have limes.

 

[NY Dad]

No! You've got to make time for the margarita.

 

[strawberries]

She had time. She didn't have limes.

 

[txgymfan]

I thought you would all be very proud of me to know that when I picked up YDD from gym yesterday, I didn't even look at the chart and simply asked her if she had fun! AND I went home and had a glass of wine. I wanted a margarita but didn't have limes.

Good for you. Please put limes on your grocery list. Nothing beats a good margarita.

 

[NY Dad]

. I wanted a margarita but didn't have limes.

Ha ha [emoji23][emoji23] i had originally read that as time.