Parents Stressed is an UNDERSTATEMENT...

[meganliz77]

So went to observe the last 30 - 45 minutes of DD's practice tonight - last one before her first level 6 meet and I wanted to see how her floor was coming along... no biggie...

I wasn't going to be driving her home, DH was because I had to shuffle the other kiddos. Anyhow, after practice concluded she was clingy, whiny, a crying mess... out in the car of course. She then said - "I had a horrible day and you're the only one who knows how to make me feel better".... seriously, broke my heart a bit.

She went on to tell me that she kept balking on that darn back-walkover on beam and coach said she had to compete a cartwheel. Well, she later admitted coach said she can do either of them but did not want her balking and causing an injury to herself. Talked this through with DD. Explained coach KNOWS she can do the BWO, because she HAS competed it beautifully, but she wants her to have a choice so that she doesn't get hurt. A lot for an 8 yr old to understand I think.

Then she said bars were horrible. She had been working on her fly away, but at her mobility meet 2 weeks ago she fell on her butt after landing it. This week they introduced her to a layout (I think that's what it's called)... she said that happened after she over-rotated the fly away (and spotter wasn't spotting well) and she landed on her back and knocked the wind out of herself. She said she was balking a bit on her dismounts - hit or miss. She also said that she was straddling too early and missing her squat on in the bar series - mind you this is newer to her also. And honestly, kip-cast-HS is still a hit or miss not real pretty thing anyways - but coach hasn't been concerned about that.

She is a perfectionist - and when things are not going right, she gets really hard on herself. My heart breaks for her-- she may be tough, but she is still my little girl. I reminded her that placement didn't mean squat... that her best on any given day is plenty enough. I reminded her to focus on the things she is most proud of, and to make a list of things she wants to accomplish during this meet and her others coming up - not what coach wants, mom wants, etc... but what really is important to her. It is so hard to see your kiddo struggle with this stuff. I reminded her that even the best gymnasts have rotten days, and they learn from them and keep chugging along.

Praying her usual confidence kicks in at meet time... and she is able to feel good about how she does no matter the outcome... and I will remind her that a hug will be waiting for her afterwards

 

[Taurus]

It stinks that these girls have to be so young to do this sport- I wish it could start in middle school with less stress like other sports! I'm sorry both of you have to go through this, but she'll get through it and come out on the other end smiling! She sounds very talented and it sounds like you're doing a great job being her parent! And it's nice to hear about a coach that takes the time to explain things to his/her team - just a stressful time like you said, but you both can do it!

 

[ascarter1]

So went to observe the last 30 - 45 minutes of DD's practice tonight - last one before her first level 6 meet and I wanted to see how her floor was coming along... no biggie...

I wasn't going to be driving her home, DH was because I had to shuffle the other kiddos. Anyhow, after practice concluded she was clingy, whiny, a crying mess... out in the car of course. She then said - "I had a horrible day and you're the only one who knows how to make me feel better".... seriously, broke my heart a bit.

She went on to tell me that she kept balking on that darn back-walkover on beam and coach said she had to compete a cartwheel. Well, she later admitted coach said she can do either of them but did not want her balking and causing an injury to herself. Talked this through with DD. Explained coach KNOWS she can do the BWO, because she HAS competed it beautifully, but she wants her to have a choice so that she doesn't get hurt. A lot for an 8 yr old to understand I think.
Then she said bars were horrible. She had been working on her fly away, but at her mobility meet 2 weeks ago she fell on her butt after landing it. This week they introduced her to a layout (I think that's what it's called)... she said that happened after she over-rotated the fly away (and spotter wasn't spotting well) and she landed on her back and knocked the wind out of herself. She said she was balking a bit on her dismounts - hit or miss. She also said that she was straddling too early and missing her squat on in the bar series - mind you this is newer to her also. And honestly, kip-cast-HS is still a hit or miss not real pretty thing anyways - but coach hasn't been concerned about that.

She is a perfectionist - and when things are not going right, she gets really hard on herself. My heart breaks for her-- she may be tough, but she is still my little girl. I reminded her that placement didn't mean squat... that her best on any given day is plenty enough. I reminded her to focus on the things she is most proud of, and to make a list of things she wants to accomplish during this meet and her others coming up - not what coach wants, mom wants, etc... but what really is important to her. It is so hard to see your kiddo struggle with this stuff. I reminded her that even the best gymnasts have rotten days, and they learn from them and keep chugging along.

Praying her usual confidence kicks in at meet time... and she is able to feel good about how she does no matter the outcome... and I will remind her that a hug will be waiting for her afterwards

My dd competed 6 last season, after testing out of levels 4 and 5 in one mobility meet. It's a big jump between compulsories and optionals, especially after skipping levels. My dd is young as well (not as young as yours). I explained to her last year that level 6 is a training year for her and that she is going to have to work twice as hard bc most girls don't skip as many levels in one season. She ended up having a decent season and walked away a much better gymnast. But I get it! It's hard see them hurt and disappointed. If she can push through this, she will not only be a better gymnast, but she is also learning some very valuable life lessons! Good luck to your dd this season.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

It's called Pre Meet Syndrome.

 

[meganliz77]

It's called Pre Meet Syndrome.

CoachP, that may be the best explanation EVER. Thank you for the giggle!

 

[meganliz77]

My dd competed 6 last season, after testing out of levels 4 and 5 in one mobility meet. It's a big jump between compulsories and optionals, especially after skipping levels. My dd is young as well (not as young as yours). I explained to her last year that level 6 is a training year for her and that she is going to have to work twice as hard bc most girls don't skip as many levels in one season. She ended up having a decent season and walked away a much better gymnast. But I get it! It's hard see them hurt and disappointed. If she can push through this, she will not only be a better gymnast, but she is also learning some very valuable life lessons! Good luck to your dd this season.

Thank you for this! I am hopeful and confident she will come out on the other side of this also a better gymnast... growing pains I guess! I just have to wonder if it was too much too soon? She did level 4 for the second half of the season last year (following states) and then continued with 4 until states this year... had a successful season hands down... but since December it's been a whirlwind and I think it might be catching up to her. She had 2-3 weeks to learn level 5 routines, scored out two weeks ago, then had 2 weeks to learn level 6 for her meet tomorrow. I have tried to encourage her to just have fun! If you fall, get back up! She has been successful as a compulsory gymnast, so this transition will be humbling for her... I know she is going to struggle and that is okay...it's all part of the process... I just hate seeing her so frazzled - then it gets my nerves all wound up! Gheesh!!

 

[my4buffaloes]

Sounds like too much too soon. Hopefully getting this meet past her will get her confidence back.

 

[meganliz77]

Sounds like too much too soon. Hopefully getting this meet past her will get her confidence back.

Tonight she will spend some time identifying HER goals for the meet... focusing on her skills and strengths and not score or placement (we have done this for every comp season, but with a new level I think it's time she updates it). I think getting this meet out of the way will be a good thing for her... but the next one is just two weeks away and she is well aware of that. That BWO has especially been her nemesis. It's beautiful when she does it... if she does it... and I think that skill in particular has been the one challenging her little brain the most...

 

[LizzieLac]

I think it is good that the coaches are letting her back off the BWO and do a CW for this meet. Honestly, I think if they kept pushing her to do it and it is inconsistent that would end up adding to her stress.

She isn't thinking that that this is her first meet at a new level, but if she could embrace that thinking a little she would probably stop putting so much pressure on herself. So, I would try to reinforce that and, frankly, try to get her to go into it with NO expectations. The goals she comes up with need to fit this situation, so they don't cause her more stress and to be harder on herself.

Good luck!!

 

[meganliz77]

I think it is good that the coaches are letting her back off the BWO and do a CW for this meet. Honestly, I think if they kept pushing her to do it and it is inconsistent that would end up adding to her stress.

She isn't thinking that that this is her first meet at a new level, but if she could embrace that thinking a little she would probably stop putting so much pressure on herself. So, I would try to reinforce that and, frankly, try to get her to go into it with NO expectations. The goals she comes up with need to fit this situation, so they don't cause her more stress and to be harder on herself.

Good luck!!

I completely agree with all of this!! I think she felt like she had failed the coach when it was suggested she do the CW this meet... The goals she identifies will be focused on -sticking dismounts etc. achievable but not overly stressful!

 

[vbdb]

Thank you for this! I am hopeful and confident she will come out on the other side of this also a better gymnast... growing pains I guess! I just have to wonder if it was too much too soon? She did level 4 for the second half of the season last year (following states) and then continued with 4 until states this year... had a successful season hands down... but since December it's been a whirlwind and I think it might be catching up to her. She had 2-3 weeks to learn level 5 routines, scored out two weeks ago, then had 2 weeks to learn level 6 for her meet tomorrow. I have tried to encourage her to just have fun! If you fall, get back up! She has been successful as a compulsory gymnast, so this transition will be humbling for her... I know she is going to struggle and that is okay...it's all part of the process... I just hate seeing her so frazzled - then it gets my nerves all wound up! Gheesh!!

What was the big rush in scoring her out to move up? If she's a level 6 at 8 she must be a very promising gymnast but it sounds like a road to burnout to put this much pressure on such a young athlete. She has such a long road ahead of her and it must be so hard on both of you

 

[meganliz77]

What was the big rush in scoring her out to move up? If she's a level 6 at 8 she must be a very promising gymnast but it sounds like a road to burnout to put this much pressure on such a young athlete. She has such a long road ahead of her and it must be so hard on both of you

Well we don't compete 5 at our gym. This has kind of been her pattern... She likes her to get the experience with the meets at the tail of the season (so last year she started 4 after states for 3)... I fully expect her to be a level 6 next year too...

I trust her coach completely. The timelines have been stressful with having the level 5 and 6 issue, but other than that the pressure is truly my DD putting it on herself. She's that type of kid, and I think coach is pretty aware of it... Hence the CW versus the BWO.

But I totally understand what you're saying... And I'd be lying if I said I never wondered...

 

[meganliz77]

Well... She survived!! Last minute change in floor too--- ROBHS x2 instead of ROBHS-BT... Thinking that her backwards stuff must be growth related...fell on bar landing-- first time trying layout unspotted -- and just learned it three days ago. But she felt good!!!

8.0- on bars
9.15 - vault (3rd)
9.0- beam
9.2 - floor

Hoping this helps boost her confidence again!! Im glad it's over! Lol

 

[ascarter1]

Well... She survived!! Last minute change in floor too--- ROBHS x2 instead of ROBHS-BT... Thinking that her backwards stuff must be growth related...fell on bar landing-- first time trying layout unspotted -- and just learned it three days ago. But she felt good!!!

8.0- on bars
9.15 - vault (3rd)
9.0- beam
9.2 - floor

Hoping this helps boost her confidence again!! Im glad it's over! Lol

Not a bad aa score for her first optional meet!

 

[meganliz77]

Not a bad aa score for her first optional meet!

Thanks! Definitely lots of room for improvement, but really for 2 weeks to get this down I am relieved! She held her own! She also took 4th on floor... Her age group appears to be super competitive! On our team she was second highest scorer next to a girl who has been training for levels 7 & 8 (got hurt, lost a couple higher level skills). And that girl's scores (couple identical to DD) equaled a 1st or 2nd place finish versus DD 3rd, 4th and no placement finishes.

Honestly though, I could have cared less about scoring... I just wanted to see DD get thru this, learn from it and keep plugging away... And so in my book it was a success for sure!

 

[munchkin3]

Sounds like she did great! We have been going through the exact same thing!!!
Week before the 1st meet everybody got sick, stomach, headaches.......you name it.....skills came and went.
Meet-everyone did OK......several girls fell on beam or bars but all in all they handled it well. The gym made the first meet a very tough meet with several big gyms.....
This week- coach told all the girls if they can't practice X number of routines, and nail them, he will scratch them from that event......pressure is on! He means it too as He already scratched a few.
Some parents are not happy and feel like they should not spend the money to go if their girl can't do everything but the coach must do this in order to raise the level.
At least the first meet is over! LOL
Next meet is this coming up this weekend........another plane ride....sigh.

 

[meganliz77]

Sounds like she did great! We have been going through the exact same thing!!!
Week before the 1st meet everybody got sick, stomach, headaches.......you name it.....skills came and went.
Meet-everyone did OK......several girls fell on beam or bars but all in all they handled it well. The gym made the first meet a very tough meet with several big gyms.....
This week- coach told all the girls if they can't practice X number of routines, and nail them, he will scratch them from that event......pressure is on! He means it too as He already scratched a few.
Some parents are not happy and feel like they should not spend the money to go if their girl can't do everything but the coach must do this in order to raise the level.
At least the first meet is over! LOL
Next meet is this coming up this weekend........another plane ride....sigh.

Plane ride? I should quit complaining that all of our meets are 4 hours away!! LOL

 

[munchkin3]

Plane ride? I should quit complaining that all of our meets are 4 hours away!! LOL

First of 3 plane rides.....then 4 meets 3-4 hours drive......

 

[meganliz77]

First of 3 plane rides.....then 4 meets 3-4 hours drive......

Craziness!!

 

[munchkin3]

The saying......'be careful what you wish for'
I am happy at the new gym....love everything.......you won't hear me complain once about the meet schedule. Just take pity on me and my DD