WAG Taking time off?

[x98peterson]

My daughter joined team in January, she is also in All Star cheer at the same gym, she is 7 yrs old. She is in the gym right now 12 hrs a week - 8hrs team and 4 hrs cheer (she is level 4). She said she wanted to quit gymnastics, I asked why and she said she was "tired". I persisted, so she said, ok "how about just two weeks off, but I will still go to cheer?". I said I would talk to coach, and coach said lets go 1x a week and do a private to make up for the missed time. We all agreed that would be just fine. A few days later I received a call from the owner of the gym stating if she takes time off they won't let her compete in August, she would have to sit out a year. (it was actually her secretary that called, no clue who she was). Just curious if this is typical of a gym or has your daughter ever "taken time off"? When I told DD this, she immediately said, "Mom, why didn't you tell me this, I never would of asked for time off". I said, "sorry, I didn't know!". She never misses practices, and also is pretty dedicated, she even did cross over for her Cheer team, and the season just ended for cheer so I was worried she is just "burnt out". We absolutely LOVE the gym, so I am not looking to bash anyone.... After her private she then said she was so excited to go back to gymnastics b/c she now didn't want to take any time off b/c she hit several skills she thought she lost-- Oh my the life of a 7 year old! I felt bad pushing her to continue- but after that I felt I made the right choice - KWIM? thx for your advice......

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

Seven years of age was the worst for my daughter. Things started getting tougher at the gym, less fun/little kid stuff and more serious training (jumped from 9-16 hours that year).

DD talked about quitting. She wanted time off. We took a couple of "sick" days, and one week's vacation for a family trip. I made the decision for her as the adult that she was going to continue for one year, then we'd review it. She was a lot like your daughter.... loved it, but was tired, asking to not go, etc.

Long story short, it was the best decision I've ever made. It was a bumpy ride at first, but now, 2 1/2 years later, she is about 5 levels ahead of where she was then, training far more hours than she was then, and loves loves loves it. At the end of the year, I reminded her I had made that commitment, and she so didn't want to quit. I have told her on many occasions (and continue to do so) that she HAS to love it, or the time and effort just aren't worth it ) maybe if we were rec, or training 10-12 hours a week she could just LIKE it, but 25 hours, five digit types of expenses a year, she has to LOVE it.

Now, if she has a bad day, or doesn't want to go, I say "do you want to quit? You can, it will be OK......" and I always get "No!" Conversation over, and off we go

 

[Clover]

Sounds like you need to ask the coach to talk to the owner as they are telling you different things...

 

[vagymmomma]

DD never took a break, but I know a number of girls who have. The gyms have been pretty flexible in giving them time to figure things out. At her level, it may not matter so much. However, at a certain point, any time off can be damaging to future progress.

The reality is that most girls that asked for a break never came back. It may be easier for the gymnast to take that route than flat out quit. Your daughter is very young though and I think still at the age to not know what she really wants to do. I think it's her way of telling you she's tired - mentally or physically.

Talk to the right decision maker at the gym and work it through with them. I would recommend trying to get her to make it at least one more year. She'll likely have to choose between cheer and gymnastics at some point, but it's a lot easier to move from gym to cheer than vice versa.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I know you were trying to be open with the gym, but that didn't work. In the future if your dd shows signs of burn out then let her miss a practice here and there. You don't have to make a big deal of it, or even get the coaches approval. Just let the office know she is missing that day. Say whatever you want to say. But your child's mental and physical health come first. 12 hours is a lot of a 7 year old on top of school. Taking a day here and there is not a big deal at this point and will likely keep your child in both sports for longer.

 

[kandkfunk]

This is such a hard subject. I can really see both sides of the argument. Gymnastics is the type of sport where you can't really miss a lot of time. In my mind, being gone for a long period is a safety issue and it hinders advancement. Also, in most gyms, a team spot is not something that can be held for a couple of months. If someone wants to take a break, then their spot will be filled by another gymnast who wants to be there.

On the other hand, these are still little kids and everyone needs a break once in a while. I let my DD take a few days off while trying to decide if she wanted to continue and it caused a little stir. Even once she decided to quit and put in her notice, one of the coaches was constantly inquiring about why she wouldn't be at practice on a certain day. It was a little overwhelming for someone who had already made the difficult decision to end her 12-year career. Also, notifying the office instead of the coaches is not an option at our gym. You have to tell the coaches of your absence. I would be sure to know the rules at your gym.

A little break every once in a while (like 1-2 days) is good physically and mentally, but a long break is probably detrimental to the long-term viability of the athlete in this sport. Competitive gymnastics is tough and it isn't for every kid or family. And that's OK. It requires a strong commitment to team and a sacrifice on the part of the gymnast and their family. I can't imagine being in both gymnastics and competitive cheer. They are both very overwhelming sports.

 

[bookworm]

She is 7....

 

[Deleted member D3987]

exactly ^^^ if you're building your team off of 7 year old's and your future fiscal health...well...i'm speechless.

 

[cbifoja]

We had a little girl who competed L3 last year. She took the summer off and came back without losing any skills. She was young...probably the same age as the child the OP is speaking of. She walked right back on to this year's L3 team so she "moved up."

Several of the parents were not happy with it because they felt their kids had been there all summer working their tails off to move up and this little girl didn't attend and yet still got "the reward."

I guess if taking the summer off kept her interested in gymnastics then it was worth it. There certainly wasn't any kind of punishment for taking time off.

 

[kandkfunk]

@dunno, what is the rule for taking time off at your gym, if you don't mind sharing? Would a team kid be allowed two weeks or two months off each year? Does level matter at all?

I am genuinely curious because I've never been at a gym that would let a kid take an extended leave from team and come back to their spot. They may say she could come back if there was a spot, but no guarantees.

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

@ Would a team kid be allowed two weeks or two months off each year? Does level matter at all?

Wow. At our gym, kids take holidays. They go away with their families when there is training. L8s leaving for a week three weeks before a meet. One year a L8/9 went to Europe for a month bang between two meets. Back to training for one week only before the next comp. Ideal, no! Accepted, yes! National kids, skipping training for a family birthday brunch. My pre-novice national, missing to go on holidays. Pulled from gym to go to camp for a week. To go to a birthday party. Not always, but sometimes.

Like most other girls at her gym, she is committed. She (nor I) abuse these, and to the best of our abilities we try to avoid the conflict. She works hard when she is there, and the coaches realize that. But the impression I get from our gym is that they want her there, as much as she wants to be there. There is no benefit to either party for them to threaten me with being dropped from the team because I want my child to know the benefit of visiting a new city or new country, or to just be a kid. The coaches want that too.

 

[kandkfunk]

Wow. At our gym, kids take holidays. They go away with their families when there is training. L8s leaving for a week three weeks before a meet. One year a L8/9 went to Europe for a month bang between two meets. Back to training for one week only before the next comp. Ideal, no! Accepted, yes! National kids, skipping training for a family birthday brunch. My pre-novice national, missing to go on holidays. Pulled from gym to go to camp for a week. To go to a birthday party. Not always, but sometimes.

Like most other girls at her gym, she is committed. She (nor I) abuse these, and to the best of our abilities we try to avoid the conflict. She works hard when she is there, and the coaches realize that. But the impression I get from our gym is that they want her there, as much as she wants to be there. There is no benefit to either party for them to threaten me with being dropped from the team because I want my child to know the benefit of visiting a new city or new country, or to just be a kid. The coaches want that too.

I guess I should clarify my question. If someone wants to pull their kid for an extended period of time, like a month or two all at once, how do other gyms handle that? Are the kids expected to pay to hold their spot? Another poster above mentioned a girl gone for the summer and then rejoining team (I think it was a lower level) and doing great. Going on vacations and taking a couple days off here and there, I totally get and advocate for that. But a kid that wants to take a break for a couple months and then come back, I've never seen that.

The OP's request was for a two-week break, which seems totally reasonable. Your gym sounds great in allowing breaks and not pressuring.

 

[x98peterson]

Hmmmm...... seems so divided, thx so much for your thoughts...

I am sure it is gym dependent on missing, our gym says in their packet they understand if things come up every now and then.
I maybe thought since cheer was so hard, she was on a team with 14 year olds, that they would understand, we just got back from San Antonio for nationals, and YES, that is what I thought too, she is 7, give her a break right? They know it isn't about the money for us, b/c we have been there for over 2 yrs, I have never asked for a credit when she misses and we do privates a few times a month and I always pay more than what they tell me I owe for privates.... they did offer me a credit for the two weeks, but I simply replied it wasn't necessary and that "that is not what this is about". It frustrates me when others miss and the other day when she missed I asked the coach- is this common this time of year? She said "Yes, only 3 of the 10 girls showed up today". I was kinda shocked b/c we never miss! I think deep down I am bummed b/c one, we love the gym and I hate it when dissapointments come up like this- and number two- I have barely had any interaction w/ the owner and we have been there 2 yrs, which for such a small gym kinda surprises me. And number 3, I just hosted the team Cheer end of year party at my house and spent a bunch of my own money on it (not that that should matter but.... ) I am going to go watch today and we shall see from here I guess! (edited for spelling)

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

If the cheer season is over, can she take a break from that commitment?

 

[surfergirl]

When my daughter was 7 she took off about 5 weeks of regular training. She did other sports camps and even Science Camp! No regrets about it. Good memories and she is a well rounded sports kid.

 

[x98peterson]

If the cheer season is over, can she take a break from that commitment?

Unfortunately no bc they are doing tumbling and assessments right now. She did get a week off from cheer

 

[gymmomtoo]

She's 7, level 4 and the gym won't let her drop to 1 day a week plus a private for just TWO WEEKS?!?! That's crazy--do they not allow vacations too?? I'd definitely call the coach and clarify with him.

 

[iwannacoach]

A 7yo needs a little more leeway than a child who's even just a year older. That's one of the reasons I advocate for taking it slow with the littles when considering team track placements. They really can fly too close to the sun and falter when their wings melt in the heat of increased requirements.

You'll get opinions that range from hot to cold on this issue. Some coaches will allow just about anything while others hold their entire program to a standard fitting elite gymnasts. So imagine the "fit" problems that take place when a completely committed gymnast is in a program where everybody can take time off or cut hours whenever they'd like. The committed kid doesn't have the benefit of a team that supports her by joining in and doing their share of learning new skills and setting the bar a little higher for others on the team.

The same argument can be made in the complete opposite direction. There are genuine fit problems for the gymnast who wants to enjoy all that life has to offer. She can feel the team pulling her along when she'd like to put in a little less time on a daily basis or take a few days off once or twice a month. That tug makes it difficult for her to do the normal things even when she has time for them because she'll have a cloud of worry hanging over her head.

It's a tough balancing act that is difficult for either parents or coaches to orchestrate, and sometimes it may be best to find the right fit that allows, or requires, everything you want. The hard part is to know what your child wants right now, and may want in the future.

Maybe it's true that you should be careful for what you wish.

 

[beamer]

Our age 12 L6/7 gymnast is taking a month off this summer to do some epic traveling with her family. We will be paying full gym tuition while we are gone.

Her coaches are not ecstatic about her being away for so long. Head coach grimaced a little at the news and then said, "There's more to life than gymnastics."

This is why I love our gym.

 

[gymmutti]

What is the atmosphere in the gym regarding both cheer and gymnastics? Is the gymnastics owner also owner for the cheer side? Do a lot of gymnasts at your gym also cheer? I wonder if the response you are getting is due to the fact that the gymnastics side of the house "loses" kids to cheer eventually. We have had girls do both while they were still compulsory level but I don't think the gymnastics coaches were thrilled about it. By the time the girls got to the optional levels, the coaches wanted them to decide between the two - and I've never seen it decided in favor of gymnastics. I do not know if this is due to a difference in how tumbling is taught, if it is a concern around the time spent between the two sports (as you say - both sports require a lot of time), or what. If your daughter did crossover between two cheer teams and gymnastics - she's had a pretty busy schedule - I can see why she's tired! And as you say - she is only 7. She should have every chance to participate in both sports and see which one she likes. Good luck to you - I hope she'll be able to compete gymnastics this upcoming season!