WAG Teenagers!

[gymisforeveryone]

I am new to coach teenagers. I started a month ago with a group of 12-14 year old competitive girls (skill wise they are somewhere between USAG level 5 and 7, but in here the levels are different). I really like this new opportunity! I mostly coach rec and preteam kids between ages 6-12 and well, it's different to coaching teenagers.

I didn't know the girls beforehand because I have only coached in this club since early September. The another reason is that in here there is three different gyms the club trains at, and they have trained in a different building than my rec and preteam kids. So it was exciting to meet them! Now I'm getting to know them better and I have noticed their different personalities etc.

But well, it's kind of challenging to coach a group of teenagers between those rec classes. Let me clarify: it's so different to speak those older girls. I can't really explain this in English... When you speak to younger children who are new to sport you speak that soft way, you explain them everything ("this is your right leg and you use it kicking when you start your cartwheel that way" etc) and you treat them like kids are treated. It always takes me time to adjust their different age and they sometimes laugh and say to me that I don't have to talk them like babies.

I am young myself (20 yo) and the girls are not that much younger than me. I'm wondering if I should be sitting there with them or not when they do their flexibility stuff in the end of the practice. I don't know if I should be their friend, if I should ask about their schools, families, friends.. They have asked me those questions though. We have also had many fruitful discussions about their groups history in gymnastics (that's essential for me to know in opposed to knowing about their personal lives). I'm also worrying about losing my authority in front of them if I act too much like a friend.

I ask you teen gymnasts how would you like to be treated / how are you treated by your coach?
And coaches, how do you treat those teenagers? Mine have a lot to say when it comes to anything that has been different in the past (number of repetitions, the way they did something earlier, what they are allowed to do and when...) and I have let them talk. I have let them do decisions and tried to treat them like "adults". I don't like to command them too much. Is that a bad thing?

 

[gymnastgets10]

You should treat them like teenagers. Use a normal tone of voice and don't overly explain things, but let them know you want them to ask if they ever need clarification on anything. Your main focus should be on gymnastics, but it's ok to be nice and ask them about their personal lives (I love it when my coach takes a minute to ask me how school or my college search or preschool coaching is going) but make sure you maintain your authority - you want to be seen as a friendly coach, not a personal friend. When they make objections because something is different, say that this is the way you do things so that they can become better gymnasts and they need to try their best to complete the assignment. Finally, I would sit by them during flexibility and make sure they stretch correctly, but I won't try to engage too much in their conversation - use this time to assert your authority by watching and correcting. Hope this helps and you understand everything - your English is really good!

 

[gymisforeveryone]

You should treat them like teenagers. Use a normal tone of voice and don't overly explain things, but let them know you want them to ask if they ever need clarification on anything. Your main focus should be on gymnastics, but it's ok to be nice and ask them about their personal lives (I love it when my coach takes a minute to ask me how school or my college search or preschool coaching is going) but make sure you maintain your authority - you want to be seen as a friendly coach, not a personal friend. When they make objections because something is different, say that this is the way you do things so that they can become better gymnasts and they need to try their best to complete the assignment. Finally, I would sit by them during flexibility and make sure they stretch correctly, but I won't try to engage too much in their conversation - use this time to assert your authority by watching and correcting. Hope this helps and you understand everything - your English is really good!

Thank you! This helped me a lot! Actually few of my girls are preschool coaches too and that makes me think they are adults even if they aren't. You said it right: they are teenagers.
Although, I had to ask one of the oldest girl to come and assist me last Monday when I was coaching my preteam kids (my actual assistant coach was sick) and it was kind of confusing to me. I wanted my preteam kids to look up to her and respect her and I had to talk her like an adult, even more than I had done earlier. I let her discipline the kids and stepped back... But on the other hand I saw my own gymnast in her, a gymnast who sometimes talks me back, goofs around with her teammates... And now she was SO mature, lol. It was funny!

Thank you for that comment about my English! I have worked with it a lot.

 

[TGymnastics]

Also be their friend don't just drill on only drills and no talking I know I tell my coach about something funny at school ( she is the same age as you and also teaching rec classes ) But you know were the line is to not be goofy and to have fun.

 

[fliptwisttwirl]

I say be their friend. Make sure they know you're always there to help them with anything in their life--not just gymnastics--and they'll gain respect fast. I don't think it'll make authority an issue as long as you're still firm as a coach. That's just my opinion though. I coach 12-15 yr old beginners and I'm about to turn 17..not a large age difference. But they have respect and they listen really well; and we're all close.

 

[gymgurl]

Sounds like my squad although I am the oldest at 18 but most are about 13 - 15. We are all level 7. I am also a coach and not only preschool, I also coach squads. Our coach is a bit too friendly and not enough coach as since having her we have all plateaued. make sure you talk to your gymnasts about life outside of gym but keep this to when they are stretching for instance as they are holding a stretch and it is easy for them to talk and train. I get what you mean about the friend and coach. When I coach I am sometimes asked to cover for up to level 4 and some of the girls are my sisters friends from school but I make sure that I am coach and not so and Sos big sister

 

[Kiwi]

It is okay to be their friend as in a mentoring kind of friend, not one of their buddies. You do need to keep your authority and they need to respect you as a coach. I think it is okay to talk things through with them and let them be involved in some of the decision-making if they are able to do this in an adult kind of way, as long as they respect that you are the coach and you are in charge. It sounds like you're doing great!

 

[GymBee97]

Remember too that this age group is extremly HORMONAL!! The drama fest that can occur with this age group can be crazy. One moment they are happy and loving what they are doing or who they are with the next they can burst into tears. So be prepared for that drama as you move forward with them. As for the be their friend well yes they will like that but in the end you are their Coach first an authority figure (like a teacher at school) that is their Coach first above all else.

As a parent I want them to respect you, be able to confide in you, and trust you and even love you but as their teacher/coach not as their friend similar the type of relationship any teacher would have with them.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

Thank you all! Reading your thoughts made me realize some not that good things in my coaching and the way I handle them. You also made me notice the good things.

I want to be a coach who really cares about them and to whom they can tell all their fears and problems. I want them to trust me in everything. But I don't want them to feel like gymgurl said she feels about her coach who is too friendly and can't control the group. I'll try to do my very best to make them feel I do everything I can that they'll keep improving but that they also feel safe.

I think that maybe I should correct them more and give more personal feedback. Some of the girls sometimes ask what they could have done better but there is also a couple of shy girls who don't talk and ask if they are not spoken to first.

Usually after warm up I have told them in which apparatus we are going to train and then I have listed the skills they can practice. Sometimes I settle up some stations. Most of the time this has worked, they have worked on the skills they want to have and I have watched and helped when asked. Their skill level ranges quite a much so it's not possible to work exactly the same skills with everyone. There is some girls who are very extrovert and they ask me watch and spot pretty much, but the more shy girls don't open their mouth so it's quite hard for me to know if they would need me or not. Usually they train hard an quiet and if I ask if I could help they say no thank you. I don't know too well if they have fears, if they have lost some skills during holidays when they didn't train at all or something like that... So this is an issue right now. Maybe they will get relaxed if I just give them time? Or should we just simply do the same things with everyone so I could give the individual attention to everyone? Of course I tell them if their shoulders weren't open of feet were separated during skill X and I tell them if they do something well but I think we would need more structure. Again, this is so different to coaching rec girls and doing those circuits with them.

 

[Kiwi]

I think that maybe I should correct them more and give more personal feedback. Some of the girls sometimes ask what they could have done better but there is also a couple of shy girls who don't talk and ask if they are not spoken to first.

Here is a tip for your feedback. Always give some positive feedback, i.e. what went well, and then give "next steps". This is a positive way of giving corrections that avoids saying they've done it "wrong", but still focuses on what they need to be improve. When the correction is successfully applied, i.e. they make the specific improvement, give positive feedback about it straight away (e.g. "great, you got your leg straight that time - could you feel that it was straight?") to reinforce what they've learned.

There is some girls who are very extrovert and they ask me watch and spot pretty much, but the more shy girls don't open their mouth so it's quite hard for me to know if they would need me or not. Usually they train hard an quiet and if I ask if I could help they say no thank you. I don't know too well if they have fears, if they have lost some skills during holidays when they didn't train at all or something like that... So this is an issue right now. Maybe they will get relaxed if I just give them time? Or should we just simply do the same things with everyone so I could give the individual attention to everyone? Of course I tell them if their shoulders weren't open of feet were separated during skill X and I tell them if they do something well but I think we would need more structure. Again, this is so different to coaching rec girls and doing those circuits with them.

More structure might help at this stage, until you get to know them better. You really need to know where each girl is at in level and skills and what their next steps should be. Then you will be in a better position to tell who needs help with something.

 

[gymgurl]

Another thing that is good with our old coach what she would do sometimes is just call each of us over for an individual chat about how we are coping, any skills we particularly want to get, how schools going etc - just a brief 5 - 10 min chat while everyone is still training. It really gave us time to chat to our coach about anything we need to - this could work for the quieter girls and working out their goals and how you can help them. This wasn't regular, maybe once a term sort of thing.

 

[CoachGoofy]

Something I've noticed interacting with teenagers is as I get a bit older I can be a touch more laid back. When I was barely not-a-teen myself I had to be strict or lose all control, especially on days when everyone was having One Of Those Days. Now I'm more like Cool Aunt & I can goof off with them a bit...as long as they know that when it's time to get down to business, it's time.

Empathy I think, though, is the best tool I have in my box. They're going through a lot of changes, their bodies don't always feel right. Sometimes there IS crying in gymnastics. They're old enough to know that today just ain't the day for that skill (unless they get all avoidant of a skill. Then I have to push. But with humor. THat's my other best tool. Humor). They're people trying to figure out what people they're going to be. And I can teach them skills, but I can also show them an option of a kind of person to be.

...but that's kind of getting into my whole philosophy, I think, so it's heading to derail land...

 

[Foxy's Leos]

sounds like you are a great coach already! Just to have this kind of concern shows that you really care!! Good to witness

 

[All Chalked Up]

Seems to me like you're doing great and that's coming from a teenager

Have a meeting individually with each girl & ask questions such as: skills I want to learn, fears, skills I lost, skills I have trouble with, I want to compete level _____, last year I competed _____, etc.

Sorry if someone already mentioned this.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

Than you all again! I really appreciate your posts and there was some really nice advice there.

We had a practice tonight. I enjoyed it. We laughed more, we had nice little chats between sessions on different apparatuses. When I felt like the conversation was going to the direction about harder skills I asked if they have any fears I should know about. Almost all of them mentioned a flyaway. So, we did it with heavy spotting and even a girl who was scared to death that her toenails are gonna hit the bar and drop off did a few flyaways on low bar. So it was a good practice. At the end when we did partner stretches they all talked to me like we had known each others for much longer. And one of the girls asked me to stay with them after spring season is over (because actually I'm just covering up their former coach who may come back later this year). When I asked why do they want me to stay they said that it's nice to do different stuff than earlier and hear different kind of corrections. I felt like I have done something right! But I'm sure that when they'll get used to me they'll feel bored sometimes too.

 

[gymnast98]

One thing that I really like about my coaches is that they let us know that they are around anytime to talk to if we need them. That they are focusing on not only making us better gymnasts but better people. we talk about random stuff throughout practice if there aren't many people.

 

[Gymchick]

Ok so my coach is your age and I like it when she treats us with respect but also to be silly with us . The best way to act is to be a freind but be a coach when things start to slack

 

[Gymchick]

To AllChalkedUp I am also a teenager but the teens she seems to be talking about they might think a meeting would be stupid but it is a good idea maybe you could do journals during practice like my coaches

 

[Gymnast_Tor]

When I started gymnastics again this year, they put me in a class of 9-12 year olds, and I was the oldest at 15. It was definitely different. The coach had to use a different approach with things than the little kids. (Plus, I was taller than the usual training bar they use) I listened more, therefore got moved up quicker. We teenagers have a better attention span and if we want to learn new stuff, we wouldn't have gotten that far in levels, now wouldn't we? I think it should be a little easier, because we WANT to be there and they will show they're reason for being there. Just treat them as you would adults, because I know that I would want to be treated that way.