Parents Ugh, bratty little child..

[GymMom22107]

Okay so my daughter is in pre-team and there is this one rotten little girl who really likes to interfere with my daughter. My daughter is one of the better ones in class, her coaches often have her show the other girls how to do things correctly and this one little girl is always getting behind her, pretending she kicked her "by accident" when it is clear she did it purposely. She's always making rotten comments to my daughter. The problem is her mom works here to I don't really feel comfortable saying anything. I tell my daughter to just stay as far away as possible from her and most of the time she can. Honestly some days I feel like yelling over the balcony "Cut it out you little brat." but obviously that wouldn't go over well...LOL. Thank god the girl is only 4 and isn't very good so she probably won't move up next year, I don't think I could take her 2 years in a row. I don't know if she feels threatened by my daughter or if she is just a mean child. Anyway, I just needed to vent because I'm sitting here right now while my daughter is at practice and it's driving me CRAZY watching this kid. My daughter specifically asked me to watch practice so I can't leave but I'm trying to do stuff online to avoid watching it. I don't think she does it to just my daughter either but my daughter seems to be her favorite one to bug. Honestly I don't even understand why the girl is even in the class she is in because she really doesn't do well at all and is not at the same level as all the other girls, I'm assuming it's because her mom works here. Oh well I guess, thanks for letting me vent!

 

[my4buffaloes]

In situations like this I not only tell my child to stay away from the other kid if they can, but to also stay near the coach/parent/teacher etc because kids like this frequently don't behave that way around the adult in charge. she is 4 though, so she might not get the whole "try to hide it from the adults" thing. But if your dd is near a coach they might see it happen and get on the other girl.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

wow, a 4 year old, and one who's mother coaches in the program. sounds like a small recipe for disaster.

 

[cbifoja]

Some perspective...

The "brat" is 4 and a child. Most 4YOs have bratty moments and most will grow out of it. And what you consider to be a brat might just be a high energy child. I'm sorry, but I find your words about this little kid rather hateful. Especially when combined with your words of how much better your child is than the "brat". What makes you think other parents aren't sitting around posting on the internet about what an uppity snot your child is???? See how hurtful name calling and labeling of innocent children can be?

So what if your child is "one of the better ones?" That doesn't mean the other child doesn't have the right to do gymnastics. And I'd be very careful about getting it in your head that skill equals special entitlement. I'm really rather new to this competitive thing but I've seen how quickly the "best" and the "struggling" children can swap places rather quickly.

Frankly, I find it presumptuous and somewhat insulting that you assume the other child is given special treatment because mom works at the gym. Just because the "brat" doesn't meet your expectations of what a gymnast should be doesn't mean that she doesn't have value to her team/coach/class and maybe she has something that makes her special too. Maybe she's a gem in the rough that you don't have the training to see but her professional coaches know enough about gymnastics that they want to see if they can pull it out of her.

Maybe your post just struck me poorly because I'm at at 2AM when I should be sleeping, but it really struck a nerve because I am the mom of the child who in the past might have had some holier than thou parent label her with a name like "hyper", ADHD, or like you did, even a brat. And because of my personal relationships with the gym, there have even been parents who must be saying rotten things behind my back because their children say it to my child's face. But my daughter's coach has been very honest about how little what I do for and at the gym affects her coaching decisions to the point of being blunt enough to hurt my feelings. She thinks my child has potential and has plans for her. She made staffing decisions based on what she would like to do with my child. My child isn't the best on her team. She's the youngest but she's also the one that the coach says has the potential of going "further" because she has a combination the coach likes. To the other parents, it might look like Bella doesn't "belong" on the team.

People have made snide comments about how much better it is for gymmies not to skip levels like my child did because it makes them better gymnasts and they do this within my earshot. Yes, my kid can use a lot of polishing and she is more immature than the kids who are at least 2 years older than her on the team. But my little 8YO is also the ONLY one on her team training giants, the only one on her team who has landed the BHS on beam, etc.

So please, be very careful before you get full of yourself about how good your child is and how bratty another child is. Your kid probably won't always be the best and sometimes those little brats have something special that their coach can see. Just another viewpoint.....

 

[Kiwi]

Even a 4 year old needs to know that it is unacceptable to kick other children. In a gym situation, interfering with other gymnasts could be potentially quite dangerous. Have you talked to any of the other parents to see if they share your concerns? I think the coach needs to be made aware of the situation, but I might approach it as a safety issue, rather than just 'bratty' behaviour. The 4 year old may need closer supervision.

 

[cbifoja]

I don't disagree with the expectations being important to know at all ages. But I still hold the opinion that the OP said some pretty mean things about the other child.

 

[Kiwi]

it really struck a nerve because I am the mom of the child who in the past might have had some holier than thou parent label her with a name like "hyper", ADHD, or like you did, even a brat. And because of my personal relationships with the gym, there have even been parents who must be saying rotten things behind my back because their children say it to my child's face.

I didn't see anything I thought especially mean, just a frustrated parent needing to vent. I think you are right about being more sensitive because of your own experiences. In any case, I think the situation in the gym needs to be addressed with the coaches in a calm and mature way, without resorting to name-calling, etc. Kicking and interfering with other gymnasts is not safe behaviour in a gym.

 

[KarenUK]

My daughter is 12 and is in a group of 12-15 year olds. She is having issues with a girl in her group being a 'princess' - this girl is a strong personality so the coaches seem to just let her behaviour go. She repeatedly stands on the tumble track talking to the coach after her turn, while the other girls queue up and wait but then yells at them to hurry up as she wants to go again, or will corner a gymnast and make mean comments about the coach/other gymnasts and if the audience doesn't say anything, then the opinions are broadcast as those of the other person (because they didn't disagree - but then they didn't agree either..). She will make disparaging comments about the score of other gymnasts after a competition, with superiority if she had done better, or about the judging if someone else scored higher. She is one of the higher scoring gymnasts in the group, and also helps out at the club with the rec classes and the gym owners socialise with her parents.

My daughter's issue at the moment is that she keeps 'accidentally' hurting her. This weeks instalment was that she pushed the vault over to adjust it onto my daughter while she was sitting on the floor by the side of the vault adjusting her knee support - this girl knew that my daughter was there as she spoke to her, but blamed my daughter for 'not moving quick enough'. My daughter ended up sitting out for the rest of the practise. Last week she slammed the springboard onto my daughter's foot and also stood on her dodgy knee while she was in the splits - it is always when no-one is looking and always accompanied with an 'oopsy..' or some comment blaming my daughter. My daughter is no threat to her, she is hard working but not especially talented and never gets near this girls score in competition

Sorry to add my vent to your thread, but you are not alone, and it's not restricted to the younger kids. I think that part of growing up is learning to deal with people with all sorts of personalities or agendas, but also in my daughter's case the gym has some responsibility to ensure safety. I have spoken to the coach about this girl but she just commented that my daughter is 'accident prone' and will not tackle this girl as it will 'rock the boat'. Meh.

 

[littlegirlsdream]

Yes the behavior is wrong but I wouldn't call a 4 year old a brat. 4 is very young and being the owner of a high energy and poor impulse control 4 year old I can attest that it can be hard at times (all times) to get such a child to behave. I am also quite sure that it is the adults responsibility to make sure the child has firm rules and guidelines and is held accountable. If that's not happening its the adults at fault. I would not asks other parents as suggested because that's just really stiring the pot IMO. If your daughter is unhappy or can't handle this kid than tell that to the coach. It should be a fun and fair place for all the children. But a 4 year old is so very young so becareful when you pass judgement on the child.

I do think there was mean things said in the rant but I suppose venting isn't always done in a kind fashion But pointing out the 4 year old is not that good and that her daughter is one of the best is unnecessary. Kicking shouldn't be happening to anyone for any reason. I doubt the 4 year old targets the other child because she is so good. I don't think 4 year olds think that way but adults sure do. I will say my 4 year old will relentlessly pursue the child that seems to ignore her. It seems to ignite the need to get a response, like a challenge. It is often the difference between my oldest and youngest children. My oldest is most likely the target for kids like my youngest. My youngest is use to the walk away tactic because it is what her sisters do and often she taunts the snot out of her siblings more when they ignore her. What does seem to stop her, aside from me , is when the other kid stands up for them self. She often then apologizes and recognizes it as hurtful instead of just attention seeking.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i don't know, maybe i'm old. brat, quennie, princess, etc; describe behaviors but don't necessarily indict the child. they all go thru different phases on their path to adulthood.

 

[onebusymama]

Some perspective...

The "brat" is 4 and a child. Most 4YOs have bratty moments and most will grow out of it. And what you consider to be a brat might just be a high energy child. I'm sorry, but I find your words about this little kid rather hateful. Especially when combined with your words of how much better your child is than the "brat". What makes you think other parents aren't sitting around posting on the internet about what an uppity snot your child is???? See how hurtful name calling and labeling of innocent children can be?

So what if your child is "one of the better ones?" That doesn't mean the other child doesn't have the right to do gymnastics. And I'd be very careful about getting it in your head that skill equals special entitlement. I'm really rather new to this competitive thing but I've seen how quickly the "best" and the "struggling" children can swap places rather quickly.

Frankly, I find it presumptuous and somewhat insulting that you assume the other child is given special treatment because mom works at the gym. Just because the "brat" doesn't meet your expectations of what a gymnast should be doesn't mean that she doesn't have value to her team/coach/class and maybe she has something that makes her special too. Maybe she's a gem in the rough that you don't have the training to see but her professional coaches know enough about gymnastics that they want to see if they can pull it out of her.

Maybe your post just struck me poorly because I'm at at 2AM when I should be sleeping, but it really struck a nerve because I am the mom of the child who in the past might have had some holier than thou parent label her with a name like "hyper", ADHD, or like you did, even a brat. And because of my personal relationships with the gym, there have even been parents who must be saying rotten things behind my back because their children say it to my child's face. But my daughter's coach has been very honest about how little what I do for and at the gym affects her coaching decisions to the point of being blunt enough to hurt my feelings. She thinks my child has potential and has plans for her. She made staffing decisions based on what she would like to do with my child. My child isn't the best on her team. She's the youngest but she's also the one that the coach says has the potential of going "further" because she has a combination the coach likes. To the other parents, it might look like Bella doesn't "belong" on the team.

People have made snide comments about how much better it is for gymmies not to skip levels like my child did because it makes them better gymnasts and they do this within my earshot. Yes, my kid can use a lot of polishing and she is more immature than the kids who are at least 2 years older than her on the team. But my little 8YO is also the ONLY one on her team training giants, the only one on her team who has landed the BHS on beam, etc.

So please, be very careful before you get full of yourself about how good your child is and how bratty another child is. Your kid probably won't always be the best and sometimes those little brats have something special that their coach can see. Just another viewpoint.....

Sounds like this touched a bit too close to home for you. Even though the OP was a little overdone. I feel this post was a bit over done too. Everyone has a right to his/her own opinion. Maybe the OP was just trying to set the scene as to what is going on. So enough with all that..... My advice is a lot like the other posts, talk to the coach. Maybe the coach is unaware of it going on. At the gym my DD goes to if kids can't stand side by side (arms at their side) while others are doing a routine, then they are not allowed up to pre team until they mature more. Which is why one must be 5 to start pre team. Gives the child time to mature. Some parents get upset about the rule and some 4 yr olds are excepted, but it is few and far b/w. I agree that kicking and disrupting the classmates is unexecptable. Therefor it needs to be addressed to the coach. And see what happens. As the child matures more, it should go away. Give it time. It might seem like an iternity now, but in the big picture it will be only a minor bump in the road. Good luck.

 

[gasrgoose]

Some kids are just rotten. Of course all kids are at some point and many grow out of their "rottenness". But it's funny how they stand out.

I visited another gym Monday night anonymously, just to see if it would possibly be a better fit. I ended up viewing for around 45 minutes and then talking to a parent to ask questions. BUT,in the 45 minutes I watched it was very clear that the little cute level 7 named Sidney is a BRAT!! Of course the problem usually comes from the parent. But wow in 45 minutes it was clear this kid is just not nice. Oh well, the rest of the kids at the gym seemed lovely and let Sidney have her space.

 

[GymMom22107]

Wow, well apparently I can't vent in this place!!! Your "situation" has absolutely nothing to do with my situation unless we go to the same gym and your child is said "brat." I called her a brat because the kid is ALWAYS interfering with the other gymnast and regardless of whether skill wise she should be in that group, her maturity level is WAY below the other gymnasts and that is clear! I may not be a coach but I am a mother and you when you watch girls day after day, you can see who is mature and who is not for the group or who tends to stand out. Also I don't think I'm holier than thou! Just because i made a comment saying my daughter does well does NOT mean I think she is better than everyone! Not sure where you got that, yes she is one of the better ones in her class sorry that is just fact not an opinion! When the coach is constantly having her show the other girls how to do it right CLEARLY she is doing well. Maybe that will change, so what?! The only reason I mentioned it was because I was wondering if maybe this child was bothering her because she does so well. That isn't even what I'm talking about overall though! Obviously someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and took my comment to be like I'm talking about their child but sorry you have it all wrong. You would be irritated too if every single practice one child was bothering your child for no reason and nothing was done about it. If your mad because YOUR child does that at your gym than maybe you need to tell her to cut the crap because I'm sure that is why other parents make snide remarks about your child! You can find my words usage of brat offensive or whatever but lets face it we all need to vent sometimes and that is EXACTLY what I was doing, I though we were adult here, I don't understand why you can't understand I was just venting! I NEVER said she was a brat to ANYONE at the gym, I never said it out loud except to post it on here because it was irritating to watch. Obviously I can't do that without someone getting their panties in a bunch because maybe their child does that same things. And if your child DOES do those things, maybe you need to have a talk with her because that may be why parents make snide remarks!

How ridiculous, I thought I could vent her but clearly I can't without some rude person making useless comments about how I think my kid is better than everyone! Oh brother, grow up!

Some perspective...

The "brat" is 4 and a child. Most 4YOs have bratty moments and most will grow out of it. And what you consider to be a brat might just be a high energy child. I'm sorry, but I find your words about this little kid rather hateful. Especially when combined with your words of how much better your child is than the "brat". What makes you think other parents aren't sitting around posting on the internet about what an uppity snot your child is???? See how hurtful name calling and labeling of innocent children can be?

So what if your child is "one of the better ones?" That doesn't mean the other child doesn't have the right to do gymnastics. And I'd be very careful about getting it in your head that skill equals special entitlement. I'm really rather new to this competitive thing but I've seen how quickly the "best" and the "struggling" children can swap places rather quickly.

Frankly, I find it presumptuous and somewhat insulting that you assume the other child is given special treatment because mom works at the gym. Just because the "brat" doesn't meet your expectations of what a gymnast should be doesn't mean that she doesn't have value to her team/coach/class and maybe she has something that makes her special too. Maybe she's a gem in the rough that you don't have the training to see but her professional coaches know enough about gymnastics that they want to see if they can pull it out of her.

Maybe your post just struck me poorly because I'm at at 2AM when I should be sleeping, but it really struck a nerve because I am the mom of the child who in the past might have had some holier than thou parent label her with a name like "hyper", ADHD, or like you did, even a brat. And because of my personal relationships with the gym, there have even been parents who must be saying rotten things behind my back because their children say it to my child's face. But my daughter's coach has been very honest about how little what I do for and at the gym affects her coaching decisions to the point of being blunt enough to hurt my feelings. She thinks my child has potential and has plans for her. She made staffing decisions based on what she would like to do with my child. My child isn't the best on her team. She's the youngest but she's also the one that the coach says has the potential of going "further" because she has a combination the coach likes. To the other parents, it might look like Bella doesn't "belong" on the team.

People have made snide comments about how much better it is for gymmies not to skip levels like my child did because it makes them better gymnasts and they do this within my earshot. Yes, my kid can use a lot of polishing and she is more immature than the kids who are at least 2 years older than her on the team. But my little 8YO is also the ONLY one on her team training giants, the only one on her team who has landed the BHS on beam, etc.

So please, be very careful before you get full of yourself about how good your child is and how bratty another child is. Your kid probably won't always be the best and sometimes those little brats have something special that their coach can see. Just another viewpoint.....

 

[GymMom22107]

BTW I just wanted to point out it was a little funny you "put me down" for talking about how well my child does but then went on to say "my little 8YO is also the ONLY one on her team training giants, the only one on her team who has landed the BHS on beam, etc. " WHATEVER lady! Your post was just way off!

Some perspective...

The "brat" is 4 and a child. Most 4YOs have bratty moments and most will grow out of it. And what you consider to be a brat might just be a high energy child. I'm sorry, but I find your words about this little kid rather hateful. Especially when combined with your words of how much better your child is than the "brat". What makes you think other parents aren't sitting around posting on the internet about what an uppity snot your child is???? See how hurtful name calling and labeling of innocent children can be?

So what if your child is "one of the better ones?" That doesn't mean the other child doesn't have the right to do gymnastics. And I'd be very careful about getting it in your head that skill equals special entitlement. I'm really rather new to this competitive thing but I've seen how quickly the "best" and the "struggling" children can swap places rather quickly.

Frankly, I find it presumptuous and somewhat insulting that you assume the other child is given special treatment because mom works at the gym. Just because the "brat" doesn't meet your expectations of what a gymnast should be doesn't mean that she doesn't have value to her team/coach/class and maybe she has something that makes her special too. Maybe she's a gem in the rough that you don't have the training to see but her professional coaches know enough about gymnastics that they want to see if they can pull it out of her.

Maybe your post just struck me poorly because I'm at at 2AM when I should be sleeping, but it really struck a nerve because I am the mom of the child who in the past might have had some holier than thou parent label her with a name like "hyper", ADHD, or like you did, even a brat. And because of my personal relationships with the gym, there have even been parents who must be saying rotten things behind my back because their children say it to my child's face. But my daughter's coach has been very honest about how little what I do for and at the gym affects her coaching decisions to the point of being blunt enough to hurt my feelings. She thinks my child has potential and has plans for her. She made staffing decisions based on what she would like to do with my child. My child isn't the best on her team. She's the youngest but she's also the one that the coach says has the potential of going "further" because she has a combination the coach likes. To the other parents, it might look like Bella doesn't "belong" on the team.

People have made snide comments about how much better it is for gymmies not to skip levels like my child did because it makes them better gymnasts and they do this within my earshot. Yes, my kid can use a lot of polishing and she is more immature than the kids who are at least 2 years older than her on the team. But my little 8YO is also the ONLY one on her team training giants, the only one on her team who has landed the BHS on beam, etc.

So please, be very careful before you get full of yourself about how good your child is and how bratty another child is. Your kid probably won't always be the best and sometimes those little brats have something special that their coach can see. Just another viewpoint.....

 

[gymcoach26]

I think everyone has a right to an opinion (as long as stated respectfully). IMHO, I would be careful with using the word rotten to describe a FOUR year old child.
From a coaches perspective, If a parent approached me with safety concerns as some of you posted about, this would absolutely be dealt with immediately. Safety is my first priority. On the other hand, if I overheard an ADULT calling any child (team child, rec preschooler, or sibling in the waiting area) a rotten child I'd probably begin to wonder about them.
I've seen plenty of parents who are upset that there is a younger child in their kids class. What these people often don't consider is that, ok while the child may be the worst in the group at the moment, the young child may be bored out of her mind in the younger class and is at the top of that class. I don't believe kids should be stuck at a certain level in gymnastics just because of age. If they are hurting another child or being that big of a distraction, then this is obviously not okay, but if they are acting their age I don't see a problem with it.

 

[onebusymama]

gymmom22107 don't get discuraged by anothers post. This site is very helpful. Sometimes you have to brush off what others say, but some posts actually can help you solve the situation. I hope you hang out and keep posting.

 

[GymMom22107]

I'm going to say this again....I did NOT at anytime ANNOUNCE that this child was "rotten" or a "brat" out loud EVER! Not to any other moms, not to the couch, not to my child, not to any other child. I simply wrote it on here because I was heated at the gym watching this child roll around on the floor bumping into people, sticking her hands in other people faces, getting in the other girls way, throwing a fit when she didn't get her way and THOUGHT I could vent here! Thanks for pointing it out I can't! Perhaps I DO need to find another mom to vent to instead of coming on here! We ALL get frustrated at times and when your mad/frustrated the words don't always come out nicely. I don't know why this child does what she does but yes it is annoying and yes I was very irritated by it. And just to let everyone know, I did end up talking to the coach, their coach is not the mother but the mother does work there and they are very aware of the situation and are taking care of it, which is great, they need to because she IS a problem and it's not fair to the other girls to have to put up with it, and i'm sure you all would feel frustrated too if it were your child.

I think everyone has a right to an opinion (as long as stated respectfully). IMHO, I would be careful with using the word rotten to describe a FOUR year old child.
From a coaches perspective, If a parent approached me with safety concerns as some of you posted about, this would absolutely be dealt with immediately. Safety is my first priority. On the other hand, if I overheard an ADULT calling any child (team child, rec preschooler, or sibling in the waiting area) a rotten child I'd probably begin to wonder about them.
I've seen plenty of parents who are upset that there is a younger child in their kids class. What these people often don't consider is that, ok while the child may be the worst in the group at the moment, the young child may be bored out of her mind in the younger class and is at the top of that class. I don't believe kids should be stuck at a certain level in gymnastics just because of age. If they are hurting another child or being that big of a distraction, then this is obviously not okay, but if they are acting their age I don't see a problem with it.

 

[GymMom22107]

And good lord I only called the kid a brat It's not like I called her an a-hole or something! My own child can be "bratty" sometimes I think ALL kids have "bratty" moments! I think some of you took the word brat and got a little bit too offended by it!

 

[krisnkids]

We have a girl who is 9 on our team, has been dx add but mom does not medicate her. She is a handful and then some. My daughter cannot stand her but is old enough to not be put in a situation that is going to compromise her safety. If the time comes up that there is a problem, she knows to say loud enough for the other girls and the coach to her, "please stop doing that, it hurts/offends/is not safe". What I do find funny is that her mom works for the gym in the office, is a borderline CGM and her princess thinks she is all that. I give her kudos for being a good tumbler, but lacks focus/desire to polish the skills. I have seen often times when the coaches let her work more difficult skills ie bhs on beam, kip etc. because they can only get her to focus on polishing skills for so long.

I guess what I am trying to say is that all kids deserve the opportunity to particpate but there is no reason to call them brats or the like. The problem needs to be addressed to the coach to ensure they are aware of the problem. I can all but gurantee that they already are and are trying to make the best of the situation.

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

I agree your child has a right to be in a class where she is not being kicked and poked at. I would do as others have said and tell her to stand by the coach, speak loudly to the child when being kicked, etc. I would also say something to the coach- not directly about the child, but say something along the lines of, "Little Mary says she is always being kicked in class, have you noticed anything?"

That said, I would refrain from comparing your child to other children in the class. I would not pass judgement on who should or should not be there. I always find it funny when parents like to talk about how much more advanced, or how there are kids in the class that shouldn't be there due to skills. I find sometimes it stems from the "exclusivity" of the class- like "how did so and so ever get picked for future preschool elites group- doesn't the coach know-- this is the future elite 5 year old class???" Unless you are a coach and have a gymnastiocs background just worry about your own daughter and do not try to ascertain the ability level of the other children in the class. Some of the "worst looking" in abilities kids in my daughter's pre-team class have turned about to be some of the "best" gymnasts skill and score wise. Try not to analyze why someone is in the class or eventually on her team- it'll make you bonkers. A lot of factors go into it- strength, work ethic, ability to pick up skills quickly, nepotism, etc. the list goes on. Just be your kid's biggest fan, and teach her how to stick up for herself if she is being hurt.