Parents Update and question...

[Busymum]

Hi all. Some of you may remember that I was in a dilemma over whether to change my daughter's gym and on the advice of you great people, I did! Thank you to all those who replied and offered advice as it really helped!

On to the question -- is it normal to find the transition from one gym to another difficult? My daughter (just 7) found her first class with new gym very overwhelming. It was three hours in length when she is used to 1.5 hour practises -- 2 tops and she ended up having a mini melt down in the last half hour. That has never happened in gym training before so I was a little shocked! Talking with her and her new coach at the end of training, it turns out she felt overwhelmed by the diffences between the two gyms -- different/more intense conditioning drills, skills taught slightly differently, some skills introduced that she's not previously worked on and so on. Apparently she suddenly burst into tears and the response to why she gave the coach was 'it feels strange - everything is different.' Coach talked with her about how that's normal and Millie explained that she felt silly being the only one feeling like she didn't know what she was doing. Coach pointed out that the girls had been working these skills about 4 weeks now and that they were brand new to her and that in a few weeks she'll know them too. She left a little happier in the end. Coach told me that as far as her gymnastics skills went she had done exactly as expected for her stage (only in development) no more and no less and that despite being overwhelmed by differences, she had actually been picking up the new things. She said she had gotten on with the other girls like a house on fire. She then said to give it two weeks to see how she settles in and offered me to collect daughter an hour early to see if that helps as she had seemed tired in the last hour --- my daughter said no way to that and that she wanted to stay to the end! Although a little emotional on the drive home, she soon wanted to show me the new conditioning drills she had been doing and seemed happy -- she wants to go back. I'm just hoping the outburst won't have put her in a bad light on her first day!


Do you think this sounds normal for a first class with new team? Positive? Will the mini meltdown likely put a question mark against whether to allow her to join their development group?

 

[raenndrops]

Completely normal. She DOUBLED her usual work out time and they do things differently.
Think about it… You start a new job and they have you doing double shifts … AND, instead of using the programs you are used to using, they tell you you have to use their programs that, while similar, have distinct differences (Like Open Office versus Microsoft Office).
Plus, she is only 7. The coach completely understood. It won't affect her progress (as long as it doesn't happen regularly).

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Yes, normal. Nearly no one likes change, especially children

 

[Busymum]

Completely normal. She DOUBLED her usual work out time and they do things differently.
Think about it… You start a new job and they have you doing double shifts … AND, instead of using the programs you are used to using, they tell you you have to use their programs that, while similar, have distinct differences (Like Open Office versus Microsoft Office).
Plus, she is only 7. The coach completely understood. It won't affect her progress (as long as it doesn't happen regularly).

Oh thank you!! I was having a moment of self doubt over whether we'd done the right thing or not! The coach seemed understanding so that's good! I've explained that tears and/or shouting won't help that feeling and to try and take some deep breaths and tell the coach if she's not understood/feeling unsure --- the thing is she's had such negative coaching for the past year (big factor in our decision to move her) that she's weary!! This new coach seems much more positive so fingers crossed so hopefully she will feel more able to speak out soon and it will all work out!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Oh thank you!! I was having a moment of self doubt over whether we'd done the right thing or not! The coach seemed understanding so that's good! I've explained that tears and/or shouting won't help that feeling and to try and take some deep breaths and tell the coach if she's not understood/feeling unsure --- the thing is she's had such negative coaching for the past year (big factor in our decision to move her) that she's weary!! This new coach seems much more positive so fingers crossed so hopefully she will feel more able to speak out soon and it will all work out!

She is 7 she is allowed to meltdown

 

[Busymum]

She is 7 she is allowed to meltdown

Honestly, I think the near constant negative feedback I've been given over my little girl for the past year has chipped away at me! It's most definitely done the same to my daughter! You are totally right! She is 7 -- and only just!! Thank you!

 

[GymDad9.9]

Normal. When my daughter moved from pre-team to team she was overwhelmed, not so much by the extra conditioning or time but because she was entering an entirely new situation, so bad that we couldn't even get her in the gym and needed serious persuading. This lasted for two days. Had a great season and now look back at those days and laugh. Hang in there.

 

[Busymum]

Thanks Gymdad! Glad the season for your daughter worked out well

 

[MomIdidit!]

When DD group went from 2 hrs to 3 hours last year, about half the girls melted down for the first few weeks. It's up to the coaches to keep the girls motivated and it sounds like your DD coach is willing to work with you and your DD. I'm happy your DD is excited about the new conditioning.

Keep us updated.

 

[ErinEclectic]

My DD can get overwhelmed by new classes, etc because it stresses her out not to know what to expect and what is expected of her. Especially when she was a bit younger (she's 8 now) and not as experienced at working with different coaches, teachers, etc. So we would make a deal that she would try something new for 6 weeks and then she could make a decision about if it was too hard, too long etc. I figure 6 weeks is enough time to adjust mentally and physically to differences and see if things are a good fit and keeps you from making a snap decision, but is also a short enough time frame for little one to be able to count it down.

If DD had her way, she would have quit gym multiple times by now, just because moving up classes was so stressful to her. However, because of the 6 week rule, she's always had to give each new class a try. At the end of 6 weeks she looks at me like I'm crazy if I suggest she move back down a class.

 

[Flyaway]

Yep, and it sounds like the coach handled it beautifully. Hang in there- kids are resilient and she will adjust quickly.

 

[Sasha]

Completely normal! And I agree, sounds like that coach gave the perfect response and reassurance - all signs, including that they are doing more conditioning, point to a great gym

When my daughter was 7 and had a sudden group change (this one had many more girls, many much older), she was definitely feeling out of her element! Though she didn't actually break down in class, I could tell by her face she was worried about keeping up with the class and didn't seem to be having very much fun. After the first day she admitted she wasn't sure if she made the right move and that she felt scared she wasn't good enough. It was mostly warm up routines (steps and kicks and such) that were kinda fast paced that she wasn't used to - no biggie, but probably felt like a person new to Zumba who struggles to follow along when everyone else seems to know what to do. After a few more classes, she was feeling great!

Keep assuring your daughter that just about everyone feels this way the first few times when trying something new, and that the coach thinks she is doing exactly what she needs to be. She'll pick it up and fit right in quickly

 

[Faith]

Have a bottle of chocolate milk on standby for the end. My dd often just needed food at the end of practice to become human again, but couldn't eat. Chocolate milk is a complete food (fat, carbs, protein, vitamins), and easy to drink.

Do they let them have snack breaks?

 

[Busymum]

Thank you all -- such lovely words of wisdom!

Have a bottle of chocolate milk on standby for the end. My dd often just needed food at the end of practice to become human again, but couldn't eat. Chocolate milk is a complete food (fat, carbs, protein, vitamins), and easy to drink.

Do they let them have snack breaks?

Yes Faith they do have snack and drink breaks -- she aye her snacks but barely touched her water! Will have to keep an eye on that! Good idea about chocolate milk!

 

[Busymum]

UPDATE ....

So daughter had her second session in the new gym she's trialling in today -- coach said she was like a different child -- smiley, listening and confident However she did say she feels daughter has picked up some bad habits in old gym and skill wise is quite behind the other girls in the group -- for example they are working cartwheels and walk overs on beams where as daughter has only done certain walks, turns and jumps on beam. She said she will need to watch her closely for two weeks to see how quickly she picks up skills and so on to work out if she has time to get her comp ready in 10 months.... that's when they are due to start grades apparently. This will depend on how quickly she can pick up new skills, listening skills, focus snd behaviour. I asked her if it will be a complete no if she feels there isn't time for her to catch up to the others. She said no as there are lots of groups snd disciplines she could do.

The thing is, daughter loves bars and beam and so I do not see her wanting to do say acro or floor and vault as then I assume she would never get to do either of those. This concern must have shown on my face (whoops) as she then went on to say don't panic as she had been pleased with how well daughter had listened today and that she had picked things up such as spotted cartwheels on beam well. She said she's already seen progress in her skills within these first two sessions and that she had picked up the under 8 routine and improved it significantly within 4 attempts.

Agh I don't know what to think.... it's a shame she couldn't then just do grades the following year (is that classed as out of age?) but I assume from that conversation and the mention of the other disciplines that that's not how they do things!

What do you guys make of this?