Parents Ups and downs

[level9mom]

My dd is coming back from a three month absence due to illness. She's a power gymnast and is used to getting skills quickly. But...it's been hard this time. Her yurchenko is rough, bh-bt on beam is inconsistent, twisting on floor is challenging. She is so frustrated that last night she asked if she should quit. I'm not sure how to help her.


Every awful story begins with "we were on beam and..."

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

Well I'm not a doctor or a coach, but I would think it would take a while to rebuild her strength and retrain her body to know the skills again. Likely as long as she was off.

How long has she been back at it?

 

[MaryA]

Poor kid! That must be so hard! I'm sure she knows at some level that it's going to take her awhile to be back 100%, but that doesn't keep it from being frustrating. Maybe the coaches could help her set some realistic goals? I definitely wouldn't let her quit while she's down. I would think she is very likely to regret it.

 

[iwannacoach]

Dear daughter of level9mom,

I totally get how frustrating it can get. You went through all the hard work and Humpty Dumpty moments to learn all these skills you once upon a time were so happy and proud of. It must seem pretty unfair to have to put in another bunch of work just to get those skill back, to where they used to be, when you could spend your time learning something exciting.

Maybe, if you think about it, there is something really neat you can learn...... starting today. One of the best skills I ever teach my gymnasts is how to learn, and what makes their skills work. I love that part of the sport, the teaching how to learn part, because it's like handing them one of this sports "golden tickets" to future progress. So why don't I just drop the subject of your struggles, get back to work coaching, and let you do whatever..... like what does any of what I'm saying have to do with you......Well here's the deal.......

I don't get many opportunities to teach kids how to learn, for themselves, because most just want to "get the trick" and move on to the next one. So I have to go along, kinda, with what they want and just keep coaching new tricks on top of ones they just learned. Either I do that, or watch them rolling their eyes every time I start talking about how skills work to the depth it takes for them to really understand how the heck they're able to do the amazing things they do. I'd bet a bucket of chalk you're just like that.... too busy getting the next trick to spend an extra moment to understand the big picture of how your body best works a skill, kinda like what's going on with you right now..... maybe right?

So if nobody I work with wants to take the time to learn and make the sport as easy as possible, when do I ever get to do things my way? Well, every single time a kid has to work their way back after an injury, illness, or that dreaded month long family vay-cay to some ridiculous European land-o-boring. That's when I get my way.... when the kid just can't go all out, needs a bit more time between repetitions, and wants to know what they're doing wrong and how to get it right. That's the moment I "recruit" and teach them how to be their own personal assistant coach while they re-learn those skills with my help.

In that process they get to go through their skills with a greater sense of interest and understanding. In those moments they're helping themselves, they learn more about how the sport works, which helps tremendously when they're ready to learn the next bunch of skills they wished they were working on in the first place. Once they finish catching up, they usually learn faster, a lot faster, than they thought possible before their injury, vacation, or illness. In the end, and aside from lingering injury issues, it seems like their time away and the need to re-learn old skills is a good thing....... possible the best thing they never knew happened to them.

So maybe you could give idea some time to sink in before you get too discouraged to clearly think during your practices. Possibly, you'll be able to understand that learning, no matter the challenge, is learning just the same, and learning a second time is more valuable than the first time around. Hopefully you'll come to the conclusion that your return from illness is a rare opportunity to take advantage of, rather than an opportunity to quit. Really, when you really think about it, you can quit anytime, 24/365, but you don't have many opportunities to really learn what makes you and gymnastics work.

Spend your time well, no matter what your *time* and *well* happen to be.

 

[level9mom]

Thanks Iwannacoach! Excellent point. I will share with my dd


Every awful story begins with "we were on beam and..."