Parents Vent-Why cant people just be content?

[profmom]

On the topic of summer schedules, if you're a relatively new team parent, let me just tell you my kids' gym's schedule for the last month:

Weekend Meet
March 15 Boys' states
March 23 L9-10 girls' states
April 6 L8 states (girls) and boys' regionals for optional boys
April 12 L9-10 regionals (girls)
April 20 L7 states (girls)
April 27 L8 regionals and a local meet for L5-8 girls
May 2 JO Nationals for the boys, Eastern Nationals for L9 girls
May 10 L10 JO Nationals (followed by NIT Nationals) for the girls
May 18 L5 girls' states

And I am sure I have missed at least one in there somewhere.

As they approach the end of this marathon, the coaches and owners (who are also coaches) are simultaneously frazzled, elated, stressed, exhausted, excited, overjoyed, and broken-hearted. I don't know how they do it and still manage to run regular practices that consistently continue the polishing and upgrading for everyone who's not competing at any given moment, but somehow they do.

I cannot imagine how any conscientious coach who's deeply involved in a successful team program would have any available head space to think about summer schedules and workout groups and who's moving up and what groups need access to the floor, vault track, and trampoline complex on what days/nights until at least a week after all of this wraps up. Anyway, it's always easier to replicate the overall structure from last year if it worked OK, so, my guess is that for all of us, whatever big picture happens at your gym this summer won't look much different than it did last summer, though your child may be in a different group. Early June therefore makes perfect sense to me to do the fine tuning. Just my .02 cents.

 

[Krystan]

So my question is this: Given that you don't think parents can judge a program's quality or safety by watching practice, and given that you also frequently point out improper and unsafe coaching practices that are described on this board, how do you propose that parents should choose programs? Blind trust just doesn't seem reasonable, so how can a parent select a gym that is a good fit for her daughter without watching what goes on in the gym? (I'm not being snarky either--I would really, truly, like to know!)

This is a question I've wanted to ask dunno also! On the one hand, we see you calling out dangerous/unsafe practices described by parents on this forum. I completely appreciate this and I feel more knowledgeable because of it. On the other hand, if the parents couldn't watch practice, most of these unsafe practices would not have been brought to light! Also, I hear you calling out some coaches as incompetent on these forums, and (after years of reading here) I trust your opinion. But then you're also suggesting we blindly trust our kids' coaches at the get-go. So there's got to be a balance somewhere. Sadly, we can't ALL have dunno coaching our kids, and we can't all go to his gym!

 

[gymmomtotwo]

On the topic of summer schedules, if you're a relatively new team parent, let me just tell you my kids' gym's schedule for the last month:

Weekend Meet
March 15 Boys' states
March 23 L9-10 girls' states
April 6 L8 states (girls) and boys' regionals for optional boys
April 12 L9-10 regionals (girls)
April 20 L7 states (girls)
April 27 L8 regionals and a local meet for L5-8 girls
May 2 JO Nationals for the boys, Eastern Nationals for L9 girls
May 10 L10 JO Nationals (followed by NIT Nationals) for the girls
May 18 L5 girls' states

And I am sure I have missed at least one in there somewhere.

As they approach the end of this marathon, the coaches and owners (who are also coaches) are simultaneously frazzled, elated, stressed, exhausted, excited, overjoyed, and broken-hearted. I don't know how they do it and still manage to run regular practices that consistently continue the polishing and upgrading for everyone who's not competing at any given moment, but somehow they do.

I cannot imagine how any conscientious coach who's deeply involved in a successful team program would have any available head space to think about summer schedules and workout groups and who's moving up and what groups need access to the floor, vault track, and trampoline complex on what days/nights until at least a week after all of this wraps up. Anyway, it's always easier to replicate the overall structure from last year if it worked OK, so, my guess is that for all of us, whatever big picture happens at your gym this summer won't look much different than it did last summer, though your child may be in a different group. Early June therefore makes perfect sense to me to do the fine tuning. Just my .02 cents.

Uhh.. because it's the gym's job, and we pay more than $300 per month to have our kids train in the gym. The coaches that coach our fast track program do not go to any of these high level meets. The summer schedule for groups has been out for awhile, but not group assignments. The same coaches have been coaching our kids nonstop for two years. There are only 8 kids in 4 different preteam groups. It's not that many kids. They know where our kids belong this summer. No one is magically going to come up with some incredible new skills over the next few weeks that's going to drastically change where they should be placed. But, try as we may, we can get no answers. And the schedules are vastly different than last summer. Last year all of the practices were in the early afternoon, this year it's a mix of am and pm, and totally different days if you aren't promoted.

 

[profmom]

I can understand why you're frustrated with your gym, Gymmom, but from my perspective, I can understand coaches not being completely sure about the right place for a particular gymnast when we're two months out from the start of summer schedule (ours starts near the end of June). And it does seem that getting or not getting some skills (giants was the one for my DD's cohort last summer; this summer it will be Yurchenkos) should determine the proper group for a particular gymnast. Your coaches may not be going to all of these meets, but at many gyms, level/group placement is not an individual decision made independently by the coach who's primarily working with your child, and your child's coach may need to sort this out with the coaches who are traveling to the meets. But of course, you know your own gym's situation best. I can only speak from my own experience.

However, I will say that having eight girls in four groups (and we are talking preteam???) seems unnecessarily complicated.

 

[3gymgirls]

We were notified 2 or 3 weeks ago that our current L2 and L1 were to be moved up beginning after Memorial Day with the L2 moving to a team class. Because all of the classes are in the same facility and we travel over an hour to get to this facility (there aren't any closer) we needed this information to schedule both of them as well as our youngest (age 2). Even so, it was plenty of notice in order to plan a schedule beginning May 28. Our coaches usually have an idea, at least with the lower level kids, where they are going to be at least a month or two ahead of time and don't like to move them forward until they see mastery at skills.

 

[mommyof1]

We were notified 2 or 3 weeks ago that our current L2 and L1 were to be moved up beginning after Memorial Day with the L2 moving to a team class. Because all of the classes are in the same facility and we travel over an hour to get to this facility (there aren't any closer) we needed this information to schedule both of them as well as our youngest (age 2). Even so, it was plenty of notice in order to plan a schedule beginning May 28. Our coaches usually have an idea, at least with the lower level kids, where they are going to be at least a month or two ahead of time and don't like to move them forward until they see mastery at skills.

In my area this would not be enough notice--registration for summer day camps and fall after-school programs takes place in early February. This is a huge problem for parents at our gym whose daughters may move from L2 preteam to L3 at the beginning of the summer, since L2 practices in the afternoon and L3 practices in the morning.

 

[Gymmom495]

Every family is unique and has its own scheduling issues they have to deal with. My opinion (not that it's worth much these days ) is to do what's best for your family, don't base your decisions on what your daughters (best friend) teammate is or isn't doing or because you are afraid she will fall behind if she's not in a certain group. Evaluate the situation then make the decision based on your family and your daughters decisions. I have a friend who switched gyms to a more intense training facility that is higher in cost and farther away (which means more in gas cost) but the only reason she did it was because her daughters best friend switched there, she's now miserable. I know my example is not exactly what this topic is but trying to say to base your decisions on what's best for your families.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

I can understand why you're frustrated with your gym, Gymmom, but from my perspective, I can understand coaches not being completely sure about the right place for a particular gymnast when we're two months out from the start of summer schedule (ours starts near the end of June). And it does seem that getting or not getting some skills (giants was the one for my DD's cohort last summer; this summer it will be Yurchenkos) should determine the proper group for a particular gymnast. Your coaches may not be going to all of these meets, but at many gyms, level/group placement is not an individual decision made independently by the coach who's primarily working with your child, and your child's coach may need to sort this out with the coaches who are traveling to the meets. But of course, you know your own gym's situation best. I can only speak from my own experience.

However, I will say that having eight girls in four groups (and we are talking preteam???) seems unnecessarily complicated.

Sorry, meant to say each of 4 groups have 8 kids. It's a progressive program leading to start competing at Level 5. It's not automatic that you get moved to the next level. Some kids may have to wait until the fall if they are not ready. I still stand by giving people 4 days notice is asking for complaining parents in the lobby. Fortunately, the coaching is great so the complaints aren't about anything like that. It's the darn schedule and the difficulties it creates for people.

 

[gymmomtoo]

Sorry, meant to say each of 4 groups have 8 kids. It's a progressive program leading to start competing at Level 5. It's not automatic that you get moved to the next level. Some kids may have to wait until the fall if they are not ready. I still stand by giving people 4 days notice is asking for complaining parents in the lobby. Fortunately, the coaching is great so the complaints aren't about anything like that. It's the darn schedule and the difficulties it creates for people.

Oh I totally agree with this. I can understand and appreciate the difficulties coaches must face in deciding where to place kids when they're busy with state, regionals and nationals for the optionals, but they have to consider the families too! It's crazy to expect people to be happy about getting placements at such short notice. I love that our HC gives out schedules in Feb/March for summer and you KNOW by April (at the latest) what level your daughter will be. Communication is one thing our gym does extremely well.

 

[caligymmom]

Just one thing to add to this conversation--for my DD, I try to stay for part of each practice if at all possible because she's off to school each day ALL day, then off to practice for 4 hours, and as soon as she finishes she puts her PJs on and goes to bed....if I don't stay for a bit I don't see her at all (and she just turned 7). She's super happy and proud when I watch her and it puts a smile on my face. So for the little ones, some of us aren't trying to scrutinize the coaches, but we are just trying to have at least a presence in our kiddo's lives! I also want to make sure she is happy in there--sometimes they can't verbalize things at such a young age.

I completely agree. I watch all of dd's practice once a week... She goes twice. I always have a book or a magazine and visit with the other moms I know, but I definitely try to pay attention. When they are little you have to watch and make sure theyre safe and happy. My dd isn't even 5 yet, so I cant imagine dropping her off and leaving, and probably won't for a while. We are considering a gym that doesn't have parents view practices, and that's definitely cause for pause when my kid is so little.