WAG WWYD? Two gyms?

[bookworm]

Yes, I could ask GYM A and they do offer privates. The problem is that the facility is booked solid from 3PM onward and pretty much all day on the weekends (especially during the season) so the only time kids can do extra stuff, especially floor, is during the school day (and there are homeschool groups, rec and team, that practice then). They do not even offer open gym time, it's just too busy w/regular classes and team practices. The place is bursting at the seams.

As I see it, the crux of your issue is that Gym A is unable to provide your daughter with privates at their facility because it is already booked solid during the times that you are available in the next 6 months ( and beyond it seems as they are bursting at he seams).....and Gym B does have this availability for providing the service you need before you move overseas...simple supply and demand...kind of like when Target doesn't have what I'm looking for and Walmart does, I buy it there because I need it at that time....

I know people will be all about her loyalty to her gym/ team/ teammates etc, but she's just trying to get a few extra privates on tumbling before she moves into an area where one good gym is barely an option , never mind two.....and i think the OPs family has taken the team responsibility into account by delaying their move until the end of season......no capital crime here folks...

 

[skschlag]

I think people were just giving potential pitfalls. So, if she does take privates at Gym B and Gym A finds out, we have seen cases where families have been asked to leave. I think telling her that this is a possibility is not saying anything negative about the plan, just the potential consequences., which was the initial question. Not sure what I woudl do in this situation, but I think knowing what could happen is a good idea. It isn't a surprise if it does.

 

[Sneezyone]

As I see it, the crux of your issue is that Gym A is unable to provide your daughter with privates at their facility because it is already booked solid during the times that you are available in the next 6 months ( and beyond it seems as they are bursting at he seams).....and Gym B does have this availability for providing the service you need before you move overseas...simple supply and demand...kind of like when Target doesn't have what I'm looking for and Walmart does, I buy it there because I need it at that time....

I know people will be all about her loyalty to her gym/ team/ teammates etc, but she's just trying to get a few extra privates on tumbling before she moves into an area where one good gym is barely an option , never mind two.....and i think the OPs family has taken the team responsibility into account by delaying their move until the end of season......no capital crime here folks...

Yes, THIS. I understand there are risks and appreciate them. I just don't think there should be any risk in this instance.

 

[skschlag]

Yes, THIS. I understand there are risks and appreciate them. I just don't think there should be any risk in this instance.

And you are right. In a perfect world, there might not be. However, it could happen. They might have a blanket policy. I hope for your dd's sake that it works out, but it is always good to be prepared.

 

[josie55]

How about just being upfront with everyone? Seems like it will create unnecessary stress for you and your family, during an already stressful period, to be keeping this a secret from Gym A. How about if you just tell Gym A that she'd like to do some tumbling-specific privates before you move (you make some very compelling points about why you want this for her, and you can make these same points to her coach at Gym A.) Tell them your first choice is of course to do it there (Gym A) but if that isn't possible, she could do them with her friends at Gym B. Explain that she's fully committed to the team at Gym A. They may say yes, or they may give you some really valid reasons for saying no that you hadn't thought about.

I just think that with everything else going on in your life, you don't need to be worrying about gymnastics drama. Good luck!

 

[gymdog]

So why don't you just switch to gym B? You've obviously already made up your mind about what you think is right, so our input isn't needed on that. I stand behind what I said in my previous post and believe it to be true. I really have no reason to mislead you or be mean to you, I'm just giving you the industry perspective.

 

[munchkin3]

I would ask permission from Gym A and respect the answer.

 

[GYM0M]

Just an honest opinion that is not intended to be in any way disrespectful or judgmental: you already know what you feel is right, even if it's not the same as what you think is right. Otherwise you wouldn't have to ask. Just by asking, you qualify the privates at GYM B as wrong. If you truly felt that they were appropriate, you wouldn't be second guessing yourself. Now that being sd, it sounds like you feel that your dd is nearing the end of her gymnastics journey. If that's the case, let her go out with a bang! BUT I'm more of the 'you never know until you try' kind of person as opposed to the person who errs on the side of caution.

 

[suebee]

It seems pretty clear that you are also fairly sure Gym A will say no to privates at Gym B, despite your situation, as I think most gyms would. And from their perspective, I think this as a blanket policy, this makes sense. Once you start making exceptions, more people want an exception or, even worse, don't understand what the policy is because they're aware of the exception.

So you have to decide whether it is better to ask for forgiveness if caught, rather than seek permission. And you know that a risk of choosing to ask for forgiveness is that it may not be granted.

I probably wouldn't risk it.

 

[MILgymFAM]

As someone who has actually had their DD train simultaneously at two gyms I will say this: honesty is the best policy. When we did this, we did it with the full knowledge and approval of my DDs main coach. Had I not been upfront I would have put my DD in an awkward position because she would want to talk about what she did/learned, or the gym would have found out at some point anyway. I'm not saying it's a bad idea, just that you should approach gym a and tell them what you told us- your DD loves her team and wants to stay as long as she can, but considering the circumstances of your move, she wants to cram as much gym as possible into her life. Whether they say yes, they flat out say no, or threaten to kick her off if you go ahead, you will know for sure where you stand.

 

[Sneezyone]

The only reason I'm second guessing myself is because of the industry perspective, which I think is twisted. I will ask the team liaison and see what they say. My DD may be coming to the end of her journey and I don't want to rob her of whatever fun she can have to protect adult egos.

 

[Aussie_coach]

My first concern would be the fat that someone at Gym B, knew she was training elsewhere but thought it was appropriate to take this kid on a one off and spot her for halls and fulls.

All gym Coa he's know that every team coach has a specific plan in place for developing and introducing new skills. This coach who saw your DD once has no idea of her physical preparation levels, what drills she has and hasn't done for his skill, her consistency and so on, so spotting her for these skills without that background knowledge is both dangerous and inappropriate.

My guess is that the skills were taught to her in order to lure her in, but the only reason this new gym could teach her those skills is because her old gy, has laid good foundations to allow her to reach this level.

 

[GYM0M]

The only reason I'm second guessing myself is because of the industry perspective, which I think is twisted. I will ask the team liaison and see what they say. My DD may be coming to the end of her journey and I don't want to rob her of whatever fun she can have to protect adult egos.

I get exactly what you're saying and I'd probably feel the exact same way in a similar position. Yes, industry perspective is somewhat twisted, and it probably shouldn't be, and honestly, your gymnast's privates from a rival gym is more likely to skew the twisted perspective even more than suddenly change the dynamics of her current team's program. BUT you shouldn't have to worry about industry perspective and/or changing policies at your current gym, all you need to worry about and focus on is this: are the privates/additional training in your DD's best interest? Another thing to consider: as a pp mentioned, your dd may not be physically prepared for these upper level skills. What if her gymnastics survives life after abroad? Learning these too early, could make them harder to correct later. Not to mention that meet season is right around the corner, & sometimes, gymmies get a case of the 'twisties' not too long after really working on them. The twisties can last for months and months. My dd lost her layout bc of them. So along with team dismissal, angry coaches, and questioned integrity, you can add future detriment and a possibly ruined meet season to your list of cons. Ultimately, your (her) choice, though.

 

[Sneezyone]

I get exactly what you're saying and I'd probably feel the exact same way in a similar position. Yes, industry perspective is somewhat twisted, and it probably shouldn't be, and honestly, your gymnast's privates from a rival gym is more likely to skew the twisted perspective even more than suddenly change the dynamics of her current team's program. BUT you shouldn't have to worry about industry perspective and/or changing policies at your current gym, all you need to worry about and focus on is this: are the privates/additional training in your DD's best interest? Another thing to consider: as a pp mentioned, your dd may not be physically prepared for these upper level skills. What if her gymnastics survives life after abroad? Learning these too early, could make them harder to correct later. Not to mention that meet season is right around the corner, & sometimes, gymmies get a case of the 'twisties' not too long after really working on them. The twisties can last for months and months. My dd lost her layout bc of them. So along with team dismissal, angry coaches, and questioned integrity, you can add future detriment and a possibly ruined meet season to your list of cons. Ultimately, your (her) choice, though.

This discussion has crystallized this point for me. If the team liaison comes back and says, as you did, that it could cause problems with her layouts or some other similar thing, fine. Done. I will relay that to DD and go no further but my primary concern (and theirs) ought to be for her best interests. Everything and everyone else can go hang. *muttering*

 

[z2akids]

I know you said she plans to compete for Gym A this season. But, I am wondering whether that is the best use if her limited gym time if her goal is to increase her skills before you move. Perhaps she can not compete and use her hours to uptrain skills with one or both gyms. Level 6 isn't required, so not competing it won't hurt her chances of moving to Level 7 when you return to the US. The biggest factor will be her skill level. So, why not just work exclusively on getting that to the highest possible level and let her have fu without the drudgery of working routines? Anyway, just a different perspective.

 

[suebee]

This discussion has crystallized this point for me. If the team liaison comes back and says, as you did, that it could cause problems with her layouts or some other similar thing, fine. Done. I will relay that to DD and go no further but my primary concern (and theirs) ought to be for her best interests. Everything and everyone else can go hang. *muttering*

My kids' school principal always sends out an email before parent-teacher conferences that says something like, "Even though the parents and the teachers have the best interests of your child at heart, there is the inevitable conflict that the parents have only the best interests of their own child at heart but the teacher must balance the needs of any individual child with the needs of other individual children and the needs of the class as a whole."

I think this is something that seems to be forgotten sometimes in group settings like gymnastics. How many times here have we seen that of course coaches know what is the best and have a plan gymnastically for your child? But the reality is that while certainly the coach is not wanting to harm your child, the coach's number 1 goal is not to make your child the best s/he can be. The goal is to do that in context of helping all the other team gymnasts do the same and while helping the gym as a whole at the same time.

I don't have an upper level gymnast so I am not at all qualified to say whether privates at gym B may be harmful for your dd's gmnastics in the long run. But assuming it is not, I think that gym A is still likely to decline your request, based on their own need to preserve their system for their other gymnasts.

 

[Sneezyone]

I know you said she plans to compete for Gym A this season. But, I am wondering whether that is the best use if her limited gym time if her goal is to increase her skills before you move. Perhaps she can not compete and use her hours to uptrain skills with one or both gyms. Level 6 isn't required, so not competing it won't hurt her chances of moving to Level 7 when you return to the US. The biggest factor will be her skill level. So, why not just work exclusively on getting that to the highest possible level and let her have fu without the drudgery of working routines? Anyway, just a different perspective.

The way the gym is set up, it's pretty much compete or nothing. There really isn't anything inbetween.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

So if their system does not work for you I would respectfully say move somewhere else.

They have a system, they offer a service. If you don't want their service take your business elsewhere. They are under no obligation to amend their business plan to accommodate one family.

I think because we spend so much time at gym, and our children get so emotionally invested, we can forget that when all is said and done it is a business. And sometimes it helps to take a step back and view it as such.

 

[Sneezyone]

No

My kids' school principal always sends out an email before parent-teacher conferences that says something like, "Even though the parents and the teachers have the best interests of your child at heart, there is the inevitable conflict that the parents have only the best interests of their own child at heart but the teacher must balance the needs of any individual child with the needs of other individual children and the needs of the class as a whole."

I think this is something that seems to be forgotten sometimes in group settings like gymnastics. How many times here have we seen that of course coaches know what is the best and have a plan gymnastically for your child? But the reality is that while certainly the coach is not wanting to harm your child, the coach's number 1 goal is not to make your child the best s/he can be. The goal is to do that in context of helping all the other team gymnasts do the same and while helping the gym as a whole at the same time.

I don't have an upper level gymnast so I am not at all qualified to say whether privates at gym B may be harmful for your dd's gmnastics in the long run. But assuming it is not, I think that gym A is still likely to decline your request, based on their own need to preserve their system for their other gymnasts.

I have seen this argument used to keep the herd together in an educational context many times. It sounds perfectly reasonable until you realize that it's most often used, as in this instance, to spare a few adults even the slightest discomfort. It's not to prevent significant disruptions to the system or group. One kid, doing six months of extra tumbling, doesn't have that much power.

 

[Sneezyone]

So if their system does not work for you I would respectfully say move somewhere else.

They have a system, they offer a service. If you don't want their service take your business elsewhere. They are under no obligation to amend their business plan to accommodate one family.

I think because we spend so much time at gym, and our children get so emotionally invested, we can forget that when all is said and done it is a business. And sometimes it helps to take a step back and view it as such.

For the UMPTEENTH time, this has nothing to do with not liking the gym, coaches, or their system. It has everything to do with there being a lack of time/space to add the tumbling DD wants to do. There are team girls who play other sports, dance, etc., get hurt at PE at school. This request/inquiry is no different. There's no amendment to the business plan required, no scheduling changes, no fees lost, nada.