Making daughter quit for lack of improvement update

[Graafian]

Several of you make solid points about the care the OP should take with her daughter's self esteem. The rec option you've presented is likely a comfortable alternative for her family (I hope).

hickory,
I'm not saying that only athletes bound for NCAA/Olympic teams should continue with gymnastics. I'm arguing that the incredible expense of higher competitive levels needs to be balanced by something significant that can not be purchased at a lower price.

There is something about the expense of competitive youth athletics that reminds me of the American housing bubble.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

There is something about the expense of competitive youth athletics that reminds me of the American housing bubble.

HA HA HA!! I've never heard this comparison before, but it is so spot on!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Hi dunno,

I disagree with your premise with regard to the parent(s) having a responsibiliy to facilitate their childrens' passions no matter the outcome or cost. I think that as parents we have the responsibiliy to raise our kids towards habits and decision making skills which will enable them to have successful lives. One of those skills I think is the recognition of scarcity and opportunity cost. Scarcity applies to all resources in life, not just time and money. Everything we do in life is framed by scarcity. If my kid loves history, I can not let him spend every hour reading history books. He must also do his math and reading. If a college aged child wants to major in poetry at an online unaccredited University while taking out $60,000 in student loans, as a parent I wouldn't be doing my job if I did not redirect him or her to something with better ROI. Gymnastics and other athletics offer a great deal of return on investment with respect to life skills; however, at a cost of $10,000 a year, I find it overvalued in some cases, particularly those with athletes who will not be able to continue the sport in college or career. Perseverence, diligence, bravery, fortitude can all be acquired at a lower pricetag.

I'm not sure why you brought up children with disabilities. It lends an inflammatory aura to your post. You mustn't take words like investment and return as purely financial. Investment includes love, dreams, hope, and time. There's an excellent month-old article in the NYTimes I'd highly recommend: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/opinion/sunday/notes-from-a-dragon-mom.html .

i'll put it another way for you. and how you jumped to "poetry at an online university while taking out $60,000 in student loans" from what i said is way ABOVE my IQ grade.

now for you:

i have a brother with a child who has downs syndrome. she does gymnastics. has been for quite some time. and she looks the same today as she did 4 years ago. now then, apply your "perspective" to this real life scenario. there will be NO ROI in this instance ever. and our family will spend with no limits on this child. that's my perspective.

and i never suggested, and never have, that everything your speaking of is about "financial". YOU brought it up. and look at your post above $$$. and i'm sure glad that the parents of bill gates didn't "redirect" their son's endeavor, or prevented him from harvard when he didn't want to attend college originally. or how about condi rice? all those years of concert piano in an environment where scarcity was present in her life daily. what a waste, eh? now she's just a professor at university. what a colossal waste of money spent in scarcity from limited resources provided her by her parents who had other children including condi.

like i said, your new and i'm old. this includes old school thinking on my part that was fostered and nurtured by immigrant parents who lived thru the depression with their parents in a country they hardly knew but knew that it had promise. so then...as it relates to me...it ain't about the money...it will never be about the money...it is only about the experience and the process. and no matter the cost if funds are available. i stand by what i stated. if you're not in the game for the wins as well as the losses, or the happiness along with the sadness and disappoinment then don't have kids. i would suggest to not marry either. and if parents have some kind of pre-determined plans for their kids based on ROI? well then...poof. there it goes.

as it relates to the child, "love, dreams, hope and time" are ALL taught/faciltated to the child by parents and people like me. they don't learn these emotional tools of life in a vacuum. these can be taught by board games also. monopoly was a staple in my upbringing. family around the table. and eating pasta while we played. and our rules for sports, music, etc; were simple...be respectful to your teachers, keep your mouth shut and your eyes open when being spoken to (the opposite translates yawning/disrespect for those born after 1965), and laziness is not acceptable therefore you must learn something.

so then, we may agree to disagree how to get from here to there but i respect your right to travel a different path. and for those that know me here will tell you that i am sincere. and if my kid loves history, and has no aptitude for math, i will steer him/her in a direction that points toward history. and then i will spend extra money to get a tutor to improve the math. whatever it takes. life is ALL about learning. at any cost. i knew this before my children were just a thought in the mind of my wife and i. and this certitude was born of MY upbringing.

and in regards to that article, i have seen enough death in my life. and that of children. and in my own immediate family. i'm not sure i understand your point. and i don't want to presume. but i'll tell you this...i would spend myself in to bankruptcy several times over (within the law) to facilitate bliss for that child until they took their last breath. what on earth would ROI have to do with the tragic fate of an incurable disease?

"There is something about the expense of competitive youth athletics that reminds me of the American housing bubble". and i couldn't agree with you more. but my landlord has been paid for the cost of his building several times over in all the years i have been in business. but the guy won't lower my rent!

finally, welcome to the chalbucket!

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Dunno, I am humbled by this response. There is no need to say anymore on this topic!

 

[kecks]

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[Graafian]

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Nice.

Administrators: Please delete my account. This community is hostile towards parents. So long.

 

[TexasRose]

This community is hostile towards parents. So long.

I've found a lot of support and information here as a parent. I don't think it's really fair or accurate to state that the community is hostile towards parents. The fact is this is an online community where people from around the world, with very different views, socialization, and opinions all join up to discuss gymnastics. We will never all agree on something and that's ok, that's life. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and we all have the responsibility to act as adults and discuss these things in a respectful manner. If you aren't comfortable with discussions where everyone does not agree I would not recommend participating in any online communities because it is just part of the experience and you can learn a lot in these situations. Open your mind to what others think and feel is right. I'm just sayin'. Have a great day .

 

[wandrewsjr]

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and we all have the responsibility to act as adults and discuss these things in a respectful manner."

I think this is where the problem often lies, and is the guideline that is occasionally forgotten. Thoughtful respsonses that may disgree with other posters are what an online forum like this is all about.(And are what the vast majority of this thread contained) Smart a** or flippant responses(only one or two here) add nothing to the community, and I think are what drive some people away.

 

[bogwoppit]

Nice.

Administrators: Please delete my account. This community is hostile towards parents. So long.

Can you PM me. I have no idea what was said, but would like to deal with this.


Edit....I have given Kecks a warning/infaction for offensive language.

 

[TexasRose]

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and we all have the responsibility to act as adults and discuss these things in a respectful manner."

I think this is where the problem often lies, and is the guideline that is occasionally forgotten. Thoughtful respsonses that may disgree with other posters are what an online forum like this is all about.(And are what the vast majority of this thread contained) Smart a** or flippant responses(only one or two here) add nothing to the community, and I think are what drive some people away.

I also agree that those smart or flippant responses drive people away. I was just trying to state that I find it unfair and inaccurate to say the community as a whole is hostile to parents just because of a few responses- which are not common at all. I don't think it's fair to judge a community of many based on the responses of few. I've really found a great resource in the CB as a new gym parent and I was just defending the community. Thank you for your insight though, you brought up a valid point.

 

[beamer]

Yikes! Don't go Graafian!

I am relatively new here too but have been lurking for some time. My impression of Dunno is that he (she?? On second thought, probably not she..) is gruff, but wise and very passionate about the sport of gymnastics. I guess we all are, or we would not be here, trolling this site instead of working, doing laundry, writing the Great American novel...

It takes many different points of view to make a good forum. The tone of this thread could be better, which is why I avoided it like the plague until now -- in the interest of not losing an interesting new voice!

The issue of gymnastics and cost (both real and opportunity) elicits as much angst as A-stream/B-stream planning...for good reason: there's a lot of it.

So, in response to the original post: I completely understand your concerns. If there is any chance you can afford it (from both real and opportunity standpoints), why not back off the scoring issue and wait for your daughter to decide for herself that she is done?

 

[bogwoppit]

Mod hat firmly on - Just to add, I talked with Kecks and now I have seen what he/she wrote I do not feel it warranted the infraction I gave. In fact it wasn't even offensive. I cannot take back the infraction, but I can say that this thread needs to move on with discussing the OP's issue and not the CB. Thanks

Edit - Infraction has been reversed. See you can change history.