Parents Puma Jr is having a rough time :(

[Mrs. Puma]

Puma Jr had a great summer and was ready to compete L5, but since school has started again she's been having times where she's really negative and I've been really worried about her. She seemed to be coming out of it again, but last week HC asked to have a meeting because she's not been putting in appropriate effort at the gym. I'm so glad for the amazing coaches, and the meeting went pretty well, but HC says that only bars are competable at this point. She told her if she can't get back to the level of effort she was putting in this summer, that she may have to compete the first couple meets at L4. She was devastated, but I do appreciate their honesty and them being proactive. She feels the coaches are really down on her, so I think it's a chicken and egg thing where the negative feedback is making it tough to be positive and get back to her old self. I know she's not totally crazy because two different moms have out of the blue randomly told me that their kids say the coaches are pretty tough on her. But I absolutely understand that she can not take correction as well as she should and that is probably very frustrating. Again, I feel super lucky that I have a great relationship with the coaches. I pulled her from practice Thursday and Friday as a "mental health break" (my idea, but HC and the others were completely on board) and I think it was a good plan because yesterday she was in a much better place and had a great practice. Hopefully this is just a bump in the road! But I'll take any positive vibes anyone has thrown my way

 

[cadybearsmommy]

Sending tons of positive vibes! She will get through this. We have dealt with some of this lately too, they get very moody and easily down on themselves at this age. As parents I think it's frustrating to watch but I think a lot of it is hormonal. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with. ((((HUGS)))) to both of you!

 

[Mrs. Puma]

Sending tons of positive vibes! She will get through this. We have dealt with some of this lately too, they get very moody and easily down on themselves at this age. As parents I think it's frustrating to watch but I think a lot of it is hormonal. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with. ((((HUGS)))) to both of you!

Thank you! I've been wondering if some of it is her Cycical Vomiting Syndrome, which is serotonin related. Which would NOT be an excuse for her not giving it her all, I'm just trying to understand it. Puma and I always say that attitude and effort are the two things that can always be controlled.

 

[GYM0M]

It's just part of the process. Ups and downs, progress and regress. It's typical. Sometimes it's not about the effort or the ethic. Sometimes it's just a slump they have got to work through. It's part of the mental game they have to battle constantly. Sending those good vibes though

 

[GymRays]

Positive vibes coming at you! If she has met many of her goals all summer long maybe she needs to set some new ones. Specific ones to what she knows she needs to be L5. Having her write them down is imperative! Maybe helping her remember her "Why" will lift her back up as well. The sport, like life, definitely ebbs and flows and is felt a lot more this time of the season where levels are set and comp starts.
Give her big hugs. She will get over this hump.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

Positive vibes coming at you! If she has met many of her goals all summer long maybe she needs to set some new ones. Specific ones to what she knows she needs to be L5. Havinf her write hem down is imperative! Maybe helping her remember her "Why" will lift her back up as well. The sport like life definitely ebbs and flows, especially

Thanks! Yes, the coaches did want her to get a notebook to help remember corrections. Per usual with 'ol Puma Jr, she has all the skills, they're just not as clean as they need to be.

 

[Serenity28]

I would check to see if something is going on at school. Depending on your DD age there could be something there that is affecting her attitude

 

[SHELOVESGYM]

I'm sorry to hear. We went though a very similar situation. DD was convinced that her coach didn't like her and thought she was a bad gymnast. While I never could really tell what was going on exactly I do think this coach had favorites and was particularly hard on DD. It really effected DD and the more she thought the coach didn't believe in her the less effort she was putting in. It was a coaching change that made DD snap out of it. I hope this passes soon for Puma Jr. I know how stressful this sort of thing can be.

 

[txgymfan]

Sending happy productive and patience fairies your way.

 

[Mish]

So sorry to hear this, but from what everyone is saying it seems to be part of this crazy sport. We are going through something similar as well. Hope the mental health days helped Puma Jr.! For us, the more I tried to help, the less helpful it was! Just trying to let her figure it out on her own, with some hugs and tongue biting from me. Good luck!

 

[duyetanh]

Ok, first off, only bars is competable?
I call that a huge win, my friend! Remember bars last year???
WOW.
This said, I get it about the rest of it, and I am sure it is frustrating. When is the first meet? Sending positive thoughts. I hope she doesn't have to do any lvl 4 meets, but if she does, I can bet that after one of them she will move right on up. But I hope she doesnt!

 

[duyetanh]

Edited to add, I would not honestly take any information other parents tell you to heart unless you see it yourself. Any chance you could watch practice if you are unsure how it is going?
I know that if my child wasn't putting in the effort, well, we wouldn't be going to practice...because it is an hour each way and a bad drive at that. I hope that it is just a quick phase and things will improve very soon. And hooray for the good practice!

 

[Mrs. Puma]

some hugs and tongue biting from me.

This!!

When is the first meet?

We have a Judges Cup in 3 weeks and our home meet in 5. I would think this would be a tight time frame if she were missing skills, but she's not- they've just regressed in tightness/form, so hopefully with some hard work they'll be competable again by then. The actual "deal" was she would compete what was ready for Judges Cup at L5, but if at least three events were not ready, the home meet would be L4 So hopefully she can step up! I like that on Saturday she used the phrase "new normal"

 

[2gymkids]

I'm sorry. We've had a pretty tough summer into early fall, as well, so I totally get it. Lots of tears and being down on herself and panic about levels. I just try to hug her and encourage her to work as hard as she can and keep improving and forget about the rest of it. It's hard, though, and we've been through a lot of coaching changes that aren't helping. She was out a couple of weeks ago, sick, and while she was upset about not being in the gym, it did help to reset her brain a bit. Good luck!

 

[Mrs. Puma]

I call that a huge win, my friend! Remember bars last year???
WOW.

Good point! Another wise friend made this comment as well...

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Just ugh..................

 

[GymDad9.9]

Based on what you have described the majority of the problem seems to lie in 1) the coaches providing corrections; 2) daughter not taking corrections well; 3) coaches noticing daughter not taking corrections well and increase their frustration; 4) daughter's frustrations get amplified as a result.

I think if your daughter can manage the corrections process better, alot of this could go away. Perhaps this is something you can address with the coaches to find solutions to help your daughter break through.

Positive vibes to you.....

 

[munchkin3]

Im sorry Puma mom.....Its so hard when they are in a negative rut.
I will echo some friends above........
If she has bars, she's 3/4 of the way there!!!!
hugs and more hugs to Puma......remind her that this sport is not normal.

 

[profmom]

Believe me, I've been there! Not much you can do, but I think the reset was a great idea. Now it's up to her -- hopefully the coaches have pegged the right psychological tool to encourage her to move forward. But really I have to second/third the observation that if bars are there, that is HUGE! Anyway, have a virtual martini on me. It comes with a side of endless patience.

 

[Tuppy]

Hugs to you both. If she was ready, she will be ready again. Adjusting to school is hard. Moving up a level and the pressures of the new routine and new schedule is not that easy. Be patient. This is definitely a labor of love.