Parents So upset and frustrated... what should we do?

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Well shoot the messenger if you feel it will solve this dilemma.....

Just to let you know, I very much appreciated your first response. If anything would work, I think your suggestions would be just about our only chance of being taken back (if I can ever get myself to ask them again to take dd back.) I'm not entirely sure at this point it's a money issue or a simple pride issue from the owner's point of view. I think they had their feelings hurt when they lost some of their best gymnasts to the new gym in town.
 
Just to let you know, I very much appreciated your first response. If anything would work, I think your suggestions would be just about our only chance of being taken back (if I can ever get myself to ask them again to take dd back.) I'm not entirely sure at this point it's a money issue or a simple pride issue from the owner's point of view. I think they had their feelings hurt when they lost some of their best gymnasts to the new gym in town.

Thanks for letting me know. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
 
Hi
I haven't got any advice just wanted to say don't feel bad. You are doing the best you can. It is always easy to look back with hindsight and think you made a mistake. I hope you get it sorted soon.
 
This just seems like a lot of drama and angst for a 6 yo wanting to do pre-team...at some point, it seems better to cut your losses and move on to a sport/team/activity that wants you and your child and will make for a pleasant experience going forward...
 
Communication seems to be a major issue in gymnastics..... although not in this particular case, it seems like most of the time gym switching occurs because of poor communication between coaches and parents. For me, this is a huge issue. I am the same way with doctors, I would leave the "best" doctor if they were a poor communicator. I always make time to talk to my patients, though often it gets me into trouble schedule-wise. You end up with fewer, but much happier, patients.
 
This just seems like a lot of drama and angst for a 6 yo wanting to do pre-team...at some point, it seems better to cut your losses and move on to a sport/team/activity that wants you and your child and will make for a pleasant experience going forward...

This is a girl who is 7 (in a few days), has done gymnastics 4 yrs, competed a full year of level 2 (old 3, then new 2), and just wants a chance to move up and compete level 3. Yes, maybe a little drama for the last 2 days, but really, 99% of the time we just pay our money and show up, lol. When we changed gyms a year ago it wasn't drama, it was just a gym switch. She loves competing, and loves gymnastics so I hate to just give up on her without at least a little fight.
 
I really don't see why competing level 2 again would be greatly beneficial, but to be honest, it won't hurt her. I do have a couple of suggestions though. At current gym, discuss with her coaches about NOT competing at any level and just do training. Can she workout with the L3/4 group and just not compete yet? We also had to make a gym switch, but it was from a rec program. To make things more complicated, I run the office and billing program for the rec gym (still do!). DD was offered a spot on the TOPS team at 5 years old so my boss understood. But from experience, sincere apologies can work wonders even if you don't have anything to be sorry for. Send an email to the club owner. Express your feelings, make sure he knows that you know you have to work your way back into the graces. Explain what it means to your daughter and her gymnastics.
 
This is a girl who is 7 (in a few days), has done gymnastics 4 yrs, competed a full year of level 2 (old 3, then new 2), and just wants a chance to move up and compete level 3. Yes, maybe a little drama for the last 2 days, but really, 99% of the time we just pay our money and show up, lol. When we changed gyms a year ago it wasn't drama, it was just a gym switch. She loves competing, and loves gymnastics so I hate to just give up on her without at least a little fight.

When will the next season start? Is it starting soon, or not until Aug-Sept of next year?
 
Oh and another thought, try looking for some 'camps' at bigger gyms that may be farther away. We went to a few summer camps at WOGA when DD was still in the rec gym.
 
this whole topic is a bit nuts. the girl is 7. went from non-team rec at gym #1/to rec level 2. everyone thinks level 2 is competitive gymnastics. it's not. it's rec.

gym #1 gets undies in a bunch after parents turn down invite to competitive team which is still rec. parents leave for what reason? i'm unclear on this. because of convenience?

this is a parents choice. and the gym can make their choice even though i don't understand why they wouldn't take back a rec kid. something is missing in the middle here.

from time to time we have a kid leave. the parent says that it's because "you won't let her do flip flops like the other kids in class." we tell them that this is because they are not physically ready and their time will come. obviously the parent thinks they know more than us and they are the experts. same parent calls us back 6 months later. child broke their elbow in new gym and has been out. was doing a flip flop. parent says "we guess you were right". and now they fault gym #2 for allowing their daughter to do flip flops when she wasn't ready.

the parents were wrong in the first place to leave. gym #2 felt the pressure as to why the kid left our program. flip flops=retention.

bottom line? we let them come back. they're 7 or 8 years old. what are you going to do? blame the kid just a couple of years removed from diapers for the decisions that their parents made? seems awfully stooooooopid too me. :)
 
But dunno, you're sane. Admittance to team is not always run by you. I have been at the mercy of crazy people.
 
At current gym, discuss with her coaches about NOT competing at any level and just do training. Can she workout with the L3/4 group and just not compete yet?
We've already tried this... both myself and my daughter would be thrilled for her just to train for a year and forget about the competitions, but they adamantly refuse. We asked both the owner and the coach. If you don't compete, you aren't allowed on their "team". I was told "we compete every season (fall and spring) every year, every level. There is no skipping levels or skipping seasons." If she spent a year training L3/L4 skills and perfecting form, and occasionally competed level 2, that would be ok too, but it won't be that way. They want her to do an entire meet season (10 meets I think), at the cost of around $2000-$3000, every single meet is a min. drive of 2 hrs away. She'll spend a year continuing to drill level 2 routines as they keep adding new kids, so then they spend a load of time trying to teach the new kids the skills and the routines. The goal is for her to go from, say 9.2 to 9.7 scores, from 35's/36's to 38's/39's. At level TWO! We would do it anyway, except for dd just REALLY doesn't want to do another full year. She is getting terribly bored, she feels discouraged, and I don't blame her. The only other thought I had was asking to put her on their xcel team. The coach seems really encouraging and the girls are enjoying themselves. But where do you go from there? Seems like a dead end for a 7 yr old to pursue that path.
 
Well calling Xcel a dead end is a bit off. Frankly a ton of kids do it, love it and stay in the sport way beyond most USAG girls do. It is not a dead end if they are happy, progressing, competing and challenged.

You are frustrated as you cannot get what you want at the current gym and the old one will not take your dd back. But to rule out xcel because it is a dead end is really unfortunate. If your dd loves gym she will love Xcel a lot. Own routines, using skills they have, fun meets. What is not to like?
 
Going off of Dunno's post, OR, Parent leaves gym #1 and BURNS BRDIGE. Example, complains to everyone, tries to get people to leave with them and or just bad mouths the program, (one of which usually happens). Result, no bridge...
 
What is their excel program like? Do they get to train new skills or do they run the same philosophy of training the same routines over and over for years? Have you tried arranging a face-to-face meeting with the owner of the old gym? Perhaps if you could speak to the owner in person they might listen. Say you only moved for the shorter travel time and you now really regret it, you made a big mistake, your DD really misses the old gym, their program is so much better, blah, blah, (eating lots of humble pie and building their ego). I wouldn't have a problem with committing to 6 months and paying in advance (if you can afford it) as a way of showing that you are really committed to them and won't run away again.
 
Hmm, I don't think they'll move her to Xcel. It wouldn't work like that at my gym. Maybe, if you said you were going to quit otherwise. I do think it's worth a TRY if they will let her.

Have you spoken directly to the owner of the former gym? If it's just been through messages, then I would try to speak directly to them, explain you switched more for convenience (giving concrete info about your house and the location) admit you made a mistake and ask "what would we have to do to come back - is it possible for her to do private lessons with you/HC for x amount of time for you to decide if she can come back to your team? Is it possible for us to pay in advance?"

But I would make sure it's really what you want going forward. I would also speak to the coaching staff at the current gym and ask "What do we need to do to move up to level 3? Is it possible to do anything at this point in the year?"
 
Just to let you know, I very much appreciated your first response. If anything would work, I think your suggestions would be just about our only chance of being taken back (if I can ever get myself to ask them again to take dd back.) I'm not entirely sure at this point it's a money issue or a simple pride issue from the owner's point of view. I think they had their feelings hurt when they lost some of their best gymnasts to the new gym in town.

You said when you asked to go back you talked to the head coach and they asked the owner who said no. Have you ever spoken face to face with the owner yourself? Sometimes people have a hard time saying no when put on the spot. I know it's hard to be rejected and I would probably be a little scared too but what's the worst that could happen? The worst thing that would happen is they could say no, it will sting but it's not the end of the world. I would go in and meet with the owner face to face. Tell them you left for a shorter drive not because anything was lacking in their program. Tell them your daughter is miserable and could possibly leave the sport if forced to stay at the new gym. Beg, plead, and do whatever it takes. I would offer 6 months upfront payment that has to let them know you are serious. After all of this, if he still says no, you don't really want her there anyway. Good luck! I'd hate to see someone so young pushed out of the sport.
 
Well calling Xcel a dead end is a bit off. Frankly a ton of kids do it, love it and stay in the sport way beyond most USAG girls do. It is not a dead end if they are happy, progressing, competing and challenged.

You are frustrated as you cannot get what you want at the current gym and the old one will not take your dd back. But to rule out xcel because it is a dead end is really unfortunate. If your dd loves gym she will love Xcel a lot. Own routines, using skills they have, fun meets. What is not to like?

I was asking about xcel, not knocking it. I just don't know if there is any upwards progression in xcel. The xcel program seems to be run differently than the regular team, the girls are older, seems to be primarily young teens. There is one xcel group at the gym, I think they are xcel gold maybe? They moved one girl who had been competing with my dd to that group right after state and she seems to like it and the coach seems very sweet, I just didn't know how they move through levels. Are there higher levels or do they just add to their routines each year?
 
I would also speak to the coaching staff at the current gym and ask "What do we need to do to move up to level 3? Is it possible to do anything at this point in the year?"

As far as what WE need to do to get her to move up, they won't say. This is just the start of the new year, girls are being moved this week for Spring and Fall competitions so this is her only chance for the year. They don't seem to do any moves mid-year. In the end, I'm not sure it matters what we say, we're trying to convince them to just give her a chance, and we have been speaking directly with the owner, but they have their policies and want her repeating lvl 2 again. They're claiming if she doesn't score really high at level 2, she won't do well if she ever gets to optionals... I worry if they hold her back too long, she'll get bored and give up long before she ever reaches optionals.
 

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