Parents Feeling down and scared

[bookworm]

Well I fel bad for you and all you have invested in your daughter's sport but that what you need to keep telling yourself...it's HER sport...and if she's not happy doing it , there's just too much time spent on it to be unhappy and she's made a very mature (and probably tough ) decision to try something else.

There will be life after gymnastics for both you and her. My daughter has had many friends who, for one reason or another , have left gymnastics even after they've been to Level 9 Easterns and JO Nationals...and they have done well...some dive, do track, do cheerleading, do dance etc but the biggest thing is that they are happy. Gymnastics is a lifestyle for a family but you'll be moving on to a different lifestyle and new adventures!! Good Luck!!

 

[snowbound]

I can relate to how you feel as we are currently "on the fence" and I feel like I have a sisterhood with all the other moms there. ON one hand I really want to stop driving my DD 60 miles 4x a week, and be able to have a life and maybe try some other things, but at the same time I would miss all my comrades.

anywho, big hugs!

snowbound

 

[MamaofEnS]

Thank you all so much for your support.

To keep you all updated, on Monday, I learned something else about my dd. She was upset because she really wants to have her Bat Mitzvah, and we have been making gym a priority. She has been going to Hebrew school for 4 years, but has not been going to the other mandatory classes due to schedule conflicts with gym. I told the gym she would no longer be going on Thursdays to attend Bat Mitzvah training, and they seemed fine with that (although I still have to pay full price). I thought if she could do both she would be happy.

Fast forward to today, and she said no, she still would not be happy. She also said she wants to take a break from gym. If she does that, then the gym will fill her spot (there is already someone on the waiting list) and she probably have to go on the waiting list.

Today is the first day she is going to the Bat Mitzvah training. She seems very happy about it. We'll see how it goes.

Assuming that she does quit, should I sign her up for dance right away, or wait awhile?

MamaofEnS

 

[bogwoppit]

I would give her a couple of weeks for her head to clear and then let her try a few things, if that is possible in your area. I am sure she will find a new passion.

The Bat Mitzvah is a big deal and she must be very excited to be getting so close to hers.

Let us know how it goes, and do stick around, maybe we can be your support team if she decides not to return to gym. There are a few ex gym moms here.

 

[msl529]

I feel for you! It's been about one year since my dd quit artistic-she was in 7th grade & training L7 at the time also. She immediately switched to T&T, so she has had something to fill the void. So SHE'S fine. The transition has been harder for ME. As I imagine it may be for you also, if she quits.

Just know that you will get through it. Your life will go on, and you will quickly find other things to fill your time. And your dd will most likely find new interests & activities that she may never have tried while still in artistic. It's like once that committment and pressure has lifted, their brains just open up and they start coming up w/ all sorts of things to try!

I had not been to an artistic meet the whole year after she quit, until a few weeks ago, where her T&T meet was going on at the same time as an artsitic meet. I went over to it, & I was watching Optionals from WOGA, WGA Texans, & all the amazing gyms from around our State, & I was just heartsick! It's a good thing dd & her friend were ready to leave, b/c I would have wasted the whole day, pining away at that meet. And for what? What COULD have been doesn't matter, only what IS.

Best of luck, my dear. Keep us posted!

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

I agree with Bog. Let her decompress for a bit. She probably doesn't even KNOW what else she would like to try yet, and even if she does, she just needs some time to relax, get excited about her Bat Mitzvah classes, etc.

You WILL survive!

 

[MamaofEnS]

I just love all the advice I'm getting.

Here is what has happened so far this week. On Monday, on the way to gym, my dd told me that just because she seemed happier at the gym, doesn't mean she is not quitting. That sentence pretty much told me not to get my hopes up.

However, when I picked her up 4 hours later, she had the biggest smile on her face, and was shouting about how the coaches told her she was ready to get her own floor music. She also told me that she remembered how she said she didn't care if she got her own floor music, but that she was wrong. She does care, and she is so excited. We spent the afternoon yesterday listening to clips of floor music. (No gym on Tuesdays)

Now it is Wednesday, and she had a dream last night about another gymnast who is taking a break, wearing make-up, etc, and she was just like her. She also had a bad fall on bars in her dream. Not a very encouraging start of the day. We'll see how today at gym goes.

MamaofEnS

 

[msl529]

Oh my goodness, the drama! You poor thing! What a roller-coaster ride your dd is taking you on! Extra dramamine, coming your way!

 

[sportyfam5]

This is the best group of posts I have ever read! There are so many of us who go through the same emotions and it is wonderful to learn that we are not alone. Gymnastics does seem so much different than other sorts, there is more of an attachment for some reason.

I thought I was going through the same trouble with my oldest daughter this year. After deciding she didn't want to compete, then missing a lot of practice for simply not feeling good, she is back up and running. Through all of this she never once said I want to quit. Her coach had asked me, so I had to ask her. Boy was that tough because if she had said yes I didn't know what I would do. Any time I asked if she still wanted to do gymnastics she always instantly said yes. Now she goes to practice with very little complaining. I am really hoping she will do the last meet this year which our gym hosts but I'm not holding my breath.

I am trying to remember that these decisions should be up to her but also that she is young and I hope she doesn't regret anything when she gets older.

Thanks again for all the great posts! I was almost as good to read as Twilight (in a different way of course)

 

[MamaofEnS]

New Update:

So on Wednesday, I go to pick her up at gym. I got to watch for a little while before, and she seemed happy and fine. What I didn't know was that she was being evaluated on level 7 skills on bars and floor. Since I was told the evaluation would not happen until June, I was quite surprised.

Anyway, when I pick her up, she again is super thrilled. Apparently, the coach told her he needed to evaluate her doing giants on the double bar (vs. the pit bar) which she has never attempted. Not only does she try, but she passes. She is so proud of herself. She said she passed everything, except her layout on floor. The coach told her it needs to be higher, but her form was perfect. She's not worried about getting it higher, and competition isn't until 2011.

So, we are in the car driving home, and she tells me. "I have decided that I'm not quitting, and definitely going level 7". I think she was disappointed that I didn't start screaming and hugging her. I actually very calmly said okay. She told me about how she was suprised by my reaction, and I told her I was worried that she would change her mind again. But, I don't think she will. She thinks she will move up to a higher level group next week.

Right now she is at her Bat Mitzvah training. She seems very happy and balanced. We'll see how the rest of the week goes.

MamaofEnS

 

[sportyfam5]

Unbelievably exciting news!!! Once a gymnasts, always a gymnast. I am so glad to hear she will stick it out and probably with a whole new perspective now.

My daughter, who has been having trouble making the switch to level 8 and decided not to compete this year, was talking about needing to choose floor music in the next four weeks. I hope that means she will stick it out too.

I look forward to hearing more updates!

 

[mommyof2]

My goodness that child changes her mind quickly!! This time have her sign a contract or something, just so you can keep your sanity! LOL

That's great news on her level 7 skills, though!! Congratulations to her!!