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For Parents Refusal to Coach gymnast

ODDBALL

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Feb 15, 2021
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USA
My Daughter was humiliated in front of her teammates and her coach is refusing to coach her? Moving her to a lower level to practice with level 6 when she is a Level 10. It's a incident of he said she said. My daughter was the bigger person and apologized with no acceptance from Coach.
Humiliation is NOT a means of motivation. Imagine if in classrooms the
teacher's humiliated their students into learning? Parents would be livid! Speak up and out!
Using humiliation and embarrassment is NOT normal! To me, this is the sign of either a bad coach or a very inexperienced one. You do not Coach by being an emotional bully and you certainly don't foster a love of the sport or build self confidence and mental toughness by being demeaning.
 

Geoffrey Taucer

Former Admin
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Jan 21, 2007
4,148
Baltimore, MD
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My Daughter was humiliated in front of her teammates and her coach is refusing to coach her? Moving her to a lower level to practice with level 6 when she is a Level 10. It's a incident of he said she said. My daughter was the bigger person and apologized with no acceptance from Coach.
Humiliation is NOT a means of motivation. Imagine if in classrooms the
teacher's humiliated their students into learning? Parents would be livid! Speak up and out!
Using humiliation and embarrassment is NOT normal! To me, this is the sign of either a bad coach or a very inexperienced one. You do not Coach by being an emotional bully and you certainly don't foster a love of the sport or build self confidence and mental toughness by being demeaning.
This is absolutely 100% grounds for leaving that gym immediately.
 

flippin out

Active Member
Proud Parent
Sep 26, 2011
632
I would find a new gym stat! This happened to a girl at my dd's club gym. They didn't know how to coach a kid with fear issues and so they just humiliated her....doing the same things as to your dd. She was a L9. They made her train with the L7 group. Repeatedly announced to all in the gym why she was being placed there (she was acting like an infant and didn't deserve to train with kids who "worked"). They would make her stay on event and never leave it.........
She and her family had repeated meetings with them about how this was not helping her at all. They would deny most of it. Promise to try different ideas to help her through her mental block.......then humiliate her for needing her family to intervene for her (Another sign of her being a baby in their eyes).
She finally had had enough and walked out. Her family said that their only regret was not getting her out sooner! They tried to reason with people who had no reason for way too long. They said they should've pulled her after first incident (and first meeting where they could see it was going to futile to talk to them and get them to apologize or at least try and see her point of view)
 

tooL62as

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Feb 16, 2021
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I am so sorry that this is happening to your gymnast. If anyone would like to know unacceptable coaching behavior I will gladly share and respond
 

ReluctantGymMom

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May 11, 2020
63
31
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We just left a gym where the coach refused to talk to my daughter (on good days, on bad days she’d ask her why are you even doing gymnastics - but she would happily ignore her for weeks at a time). We had meeting after meeting with everyone at that gym and nothing came of it. Move your daughter because she deserves better
 

Aussie_coach

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Jan 4, 2008
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We just left a gym where the coach refused to talk to my daughter (on good days, on bad days she’d ask her why are you even doing gymnastics - but she would happily ignore her for weeks at a time). We had meeting after meeting with everyone at that gym and nothing came of it. Move your daughter because she deserves better
Wow, that is terrible! How in the world do these coaches get away with such unprofessional behaviour!
 

ReluctantGymMom

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Proud Parent
May 11, 2020
63
31
Country
USA
Wow, that is terrible! How in the world do these coaches get away with such unprofessional behaviour!
Easy - every other gym in the city has a reputation for worst coaches, and she systematically picked a few kids at a time to hone in on. Now that there are multiple USAG complaints filed against her by different parents, at different times, they finally let her go, but it’s a little late.
 
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Reactions: jamieintexas

ODDBALL

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Feb 15, 2021
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57
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USA
@ODDBALL Did you speak with the coach?
We have had several meetings with the owner, who coaches as well. We are told "Trust the process, things will get better."
Others have had issues with this same coach. Saying something gets you NO where. The girls have learned to deal with adversity in the gym and have developed a work around with the attitude of this coaches.
 

bogwoppit

Former Admin
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Feb 26, 2007
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We have had several meetings with the owner, who coaches as well. We are told "Trust the process, things will get better."
Others have had issues with this same coach. Saying something gets you NO where. The girls have learned to deal with adversity in the gym and have developed a work around with the attitude of this coaches.


Trust your intuition, not the process. Leave.
 

JBS

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Sep 3, 2005
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We have had several meetings with the owner, who coaches as well. We are told "Trust the process, things will get better."
Others have had issues with this same coach. Saying something gets you NO where. The girls have learned to deal with adversity in the gym and have developed a work around with the attitude of this coaches.

Ha... that's a strange process... I think I would try someone else's process.
 

MuggleMom

Active Member
Former Gymnast
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Dec 22, 2016
511
Virginia
Country
USA
I would ask a lot of pointed questions about their "process":
Why does your process include humiliation?
Why does your process include leaving my gymnast without a coach which is a huge safety issue?
Why does your process force a child to apologize but will not hold an adult accountable and to the same standard?

Trust requires open communication and if you are unable to answer these questions about your process how am supposed to be able to "trust" it?

Now being that bold is easier said than done, and likely there are no answers so I would find a new gym.
 

flippin out

Active Member
Proud Parent
Sep 26, 2011
632
We have had several meetings with the owner, who coaches as well. We are told "Trust the process, things will get better."
Others have had issues with this same coach. Saying something gets you NO where. The girls have learned to deal with adversity in the gym and have developed a work around with the attitude of this coaches.
Sounds like you have already had meetings, and given chances ....with no change. I’d waste no more time there nor would I allow them to continue humiliating and belittling my daughter. What year is your dd (maybe you’ve already said but I’ve forgotten). If this is her senior year you are basically stuck (may not work to leave now at this point with only a couple months left). If she’s younger, is there another gym that is a viable option?