For Parents Too much negative attitude in carpool

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momof5

Member
Proud Parent
Oct 26, 2007
375
Well 8 year old DD came home last night all negative about her new coach. She had this coach about 4 times before and hasn't complained much about him. The only thing she said about him was that he was tough. Tonight her carpool was back on for the first time since the new coach came and the girl she carpools with complained to her mom the whole 30 min ride home about the coach. DD comes home saying how much she dislikes that new coach and how mean he is. I know this has come from this girl and her mom. I have had some problems before with this situation and the negativity it produces. I really need this carpool as it really helps me out. I did talk to DD and explained that I thought she was letting this others girls feeling become her feelings and she needs to seperate how she feels from what this other girl feels. What else can I do pull a plug on this negativity without losing my carpool?
 
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NotAMom

Active Member
May 27, 2009
894
Region 6 (Northeast)
If you don't want to face a potential confrontation (and end up losing your carpool eventually), I would not say anything to the other parents. We parents are very defensive when it comes to others' criticism on our own children.

Just try your best to repeatedly explain to your daughter what you already did. Since she's only 6yo, I don't think she minds much about your "nagging".
 

canadiangymmom

Active Member
Jun 26, 2006
566
Ontario, Canada
Your daughter is young, and this problem isn't specific to gymnastics. I think your best solution is to make a point of regularly discussing how people have opposing views. Maybe also talking about leaders vs followers.

Ideally you want to raise a child secure in their beliefs, and who can back their opinions. So, lots of questions about "why" she feels someone is mean etc.. will cause her to think about it, and develop her reasoning skills.

Good luck! As stated above, I wouldn't say anything to the other parent, let her deal with her daughter's negativity.
 

hunde2

Active Member
Nov 5, 2007
664
Tough situation. I agree with NOTAMOM. Talk to your daughter on a regular basis. I even have to do that with my older girls not in gymnastics.
We carpooled over the summer and decided not to do it during the school year because we want dd to be able to start homework in the car or just be able to spent that time (between school and gym)with her to be able to talk about her day etc. We are fortunate to be able to do that.
 
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cathiann

Guest
Your daughter is young, and this problem isn't specific to gymnastics. I think your best solution is to make a point of regularly discussing how people have opposing views. Maybe also talking about leaders vs followers.

Ideally you want to raise a child secure in their beliefs, and who can back their opinions. So, lots of questions about "why" she feels someone is mean etc.. will cause her to think about it, and develop her reasoning skills.

Good luck! As stated above, I wouldn't say anything to the other parent, let her deal with her daughter's negativity.
Love this response--talking with her and getting her to think about WHY she feels the way she says she does will really help her separate what she really thinks with how she's being influenced by her teammate.
 
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