WAG consistenly....last

[Mommyo2az]

Just venting here! My DD is 3 meets in to her first level 6 season and has been consistently...last. Well maybe not dead last, but has walked away from the last few meets with lots of tears and no medals. To be honest, it is probably more difficult and traumatic for me than for her - its hard to watch your kid perform their little heart out and not place. I have also noticed that she is at the bottom end of her training group skill wise. It seems it always takes her longer to get more skills.

I am not really looking for answers, just maybe a group hug? I am of course praising her progress (of which there has been!) and all the accomplishments! But I know she is disappointed and is beginning to doubt herself. I am not sure there is enough wine for the rest of the season!

 

[notthatmom]

My DD is L3 and has been pretty consistently last as well. And at first it was upsetting, but I just got over it. I have really just found a way to be proud of her individual accomplishments rather than compare her to everyone else.

The things these kids can do is simply amazing, and the pride my daughter has for herself is better than any 1st place medal in my eyes.

Of course I still tell her to work harder the next time than she did the last, but she knows I'm proud of her no matter what, because it's true.

 

[notthatmom]

I would just encourage her to focus on her own personal progress....help her set an obtainable goal, and keep encouraging that her best is what you will be most proud of and she should be proud of her best too.

 

[LindyHopper]

Group hugging here.

My L5 daughter is consistently in the bottom three at each meet. The only thing keeping her from being dead last in most meets is beam. We've had five meets, and she has placed fourth, 2nd, and tied for first (taking second) on beam.

Regardless, we rejoiced when she did the best two vaults I've ever seen her do, and the best bars routine this season two meets ago (winning absolutely no medals).

She comes out of every meet excited about and/or proud of something. She is so resilient. I don't know if I could keep working as hard as she does. But then, she is also the type of gymmie who prefers practice to meets.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Hang in there! My dd was consistently near last through most of her compulsory years. She worked her way up through dedication and perseverance. She didn't let it get her down.

 

[Flyaway]

Solidarity and group hug. You (and your dd) are not alone.

 

[JMACAZ]

Sending hugs from another Mom of a near to last place DD. Mine is XP and doing harder tumbling and beam but honestly it's bars that are killing her. We have also had 3 meets and she got an AA one at the first (everybody did) another AA one and a 3rd place beam at the 2nd and nothing at the last (our home meet). There have been no tears but I can tell she is starting to loose her spark. Some of it is due to a new tough level, some is understanding she is getting what she is putting in (lack of flexibility in leaps etc) Oops guess that turned into a mini vent for me Crossing my fingers that your DD is able to reach some of her personal goals and be happy with what she accomplished. It is hard though when they do their personal best but they still don't place. Sending hugs and wine....

 

[Mommyo2az]

Sending hugs from another Mom of a near to last place DD. Mine is XP and doing harder tumbling and beam but honestly it's bars that are killing her. We have also had 3 meets and she got an AA one at the first (everybody did) another AA one and a 3rd place beam at the 2nd and nothing at the last (our home meet). There have been no tears but I can tell she is starting to loose her spark. Some of it is due to a new tough level, some is understanding she is getting what she is putting in (lack of flexibility in leaps etc) Oops guess that turned into a mini vent for me Crossing my fingers that your DD is able to reach some of her personal goals and be happy with what she accomplished. It is hard though when they do their personal best but they still don't place. Sending hugs and wine....

Thanks JMACAZ! If you are in AZ we have probably been at some of
The same meets - praying our DDs do well and that some tough teams are not in our session [emoji23]

 

[Aussie_coach]

A lot of the problem here comes from this everyone gets a medal type mentality. I find it crazy that comps in the US give out medals for AA to 50% or in some cases to everyone! Or when they split the divisions so kids are only co,pet I g against about 10 people.

This is a great way of highlighting last place.

Our comps don't do this. Divisions are set and can have 30, 60, 90, 120 kids in them depending on the level and competition. They give out medals for 1st-6th place on each apparatus and trophies for 1st-3rd all around. That is it. The majority of kids leave the competition without any medals or trophies.

Winning a medal or trophy is seen an a huge achievement and not winning anything is normal.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

Bars are killing us here in L6 as well. At most meets we have been too this year there has been some tough out of state competition and dd has been in the bottom 3 all around mostly at those meets, although she has placed well on some events. There was one meet that was more local teams and my dd happened to get in a lucky age group and snagged 1st AA, even though she was not 1st on any events. She was over the moon, but if she had been in any other age group that wouldn't have happened, it was just a lucky day and a really good performance day for her as well. I have seen that there are a lot of repeaters in L6, or girls that have already competed L5 (which is very similar to L6) and my dd came from Xcel silver, so I try to keep her managing her expectations and if she does place on something it's a pleasant surprise. I'm pretty sure repeating L6 is in her future and I'm hoping she will do better next year and hopefully polish up her skills so that will boost her confidence a bit. Maybe that would be an option for your dd as well? Sending ((((HUGS))))) and you never know, the season isn't over yet and she could very well surprise you. Sometimes things just "click" closer to state for some kids! Hang in there!

 

[Seeker]

How did she do in past levels? Is she making mistakes/falling or just "Tenth'd to death"? The reason I ask is that if she did well in L5, it could be that her routines either don't play well with her skills or potentially the rules. Maybe some targeted changes to her routines would help? Perhaps a judge could review and assist? I did this with my dd's floor routine at L7 and the information was very helpful. For her, it was routine construction/choreo that was causing the bulk of the issue.

 

[Mommyo2az]

How did she do in past levels? Is she making mistakes/falling or just "Tenth'd to death"? The reason I ask is that if she did well in L5, it could be that her routines either don't play well with her skills or potentially the rules. Maybe some targeted changes to her routines would help? Perhaps a judge could review and assist? I did this with my dd's floor routine at L7 and the information was very helpful. For her, it was routine construction/choreo that was causing the bulk of the issue.

Well her path is an odd one. Started Xcel bronze and was state and regional champion. Then jumped to level 4 which was at best mediocre (high 8's and low 9s on floor). Skipped 5 and now on to 6. She is for sure being tenths to death (knees knees knees!), and she is not doing the minimum skills that might not be as clean as they should be (but I admire her for doing the more difficult stuff)!!

 

[cadybearsmommy]

Well her path is an odd one. Started Xcel bronze and was state and regional champion. Then jumped to level 4 which was at best mediocre (high 8's and low 9s on floor). Skipped 5 and now on to 6. She is for sure being tenths to death (knees knees knees!), and she is not doing the minimum skills that might not be as clean as they should be (but I admire her for doing the more difficult stuff)!!

In a similar boat here as my dd also came from Xcel. From what I've seen the first couple of years after transitioning to JO can be rough. They have to catch up on the conditioning, higher hours etc and it can take time. This sometimes means repeating levels to give them time to catch up. That's why I'm pretty sure my dd will repeat L6 and I will be relieved if she does.

It sounds like your dd is getting hit on form issues and that's just one of those things that takes time to clean up. In most cases it will improve with time unless you're just at a gym that doesn't emphasize form (we've been there done that too) and if that's the case it's a whole different can of worms.

 

[Gymmommy71]

I agree w/ whoever said the "everybody gets a medal" mentality is what causes the hurt feelings. So what if someone is in the bottom of the placements - someone has to be last, and there's always a few kids who are new to a level or just barely scraped in skill wise - if it weren't for these kids, and all the others inbetween last and 2nd place, winning wouldn't mean anything.

Social media doesn't help either - after every darn weekend you got to peruse through all these posts about how great all these other girls did at competitions like dance and cheer where they hand out national championship titles to more than half the participants in some way or another. My kid used to participate in those when younger so I know how they work, but many people don't and think they are Olympic-level from all their awards - and then they think these gymnasts aren't any good when they don't come home a first place national champion at every travel meet.

 

[duyetanh]

From someone whose kid lived there, and may live there again but has surprised us all this season to place sometimes, I do get it. It's hard. But from the get go we have worked very hard with our girls to not be concerned with placing, but performing and effort. And um....when she placed in an event in January for the first time....all of us thought they made a mistake. Yes. Even my child.

 

[CLgym]

I'd like to be part of this group hug too... or at least will grab a glass of wine to commiserate.

My DD also moved from Xcel Broze to Level 4 a few months ago. Went from top of the podium to middle of the pack, often just below the 50% mark for medals. (It is pretty standard in our area to give medals to top 50% at Level 4. I agree this practice can highlight those at the bottom -- but for someone like my DD it's the only way she's been able to leave every meet with at least one medal in hand.) My DD has hit low 9's on all events except vault (low to mid-8's there), but never at the same meet -- and low 9's don't always earn you a spot on the podium anyway. Doesn't help that she has several girls on her own team (same age group) that are repeating L4 and always score high. So she walks into every meet knowing she will most likely score behind many of her own teammates. The good news is that she doesn't seem to care too much, and still loves gymnastics. Not sure who said it, but I agree it's sometimes harder on the parents.... Cheers!

 

[MILgymFAM]

I'll join in the hug! Sometimes between award ceremonies, fb, and ChalkBucket it can seem like my kids are the only ones who are both slow as molasses to get new skills and to regularly place at the bottom. We live in a comparative culture that smacks us in the face constantly. One of my favorite quotes is "comparison is the thief of joy".. sometimes you gotta be happy for everyone else's kid but still tune out the noise, and just enjoy the space you're in.

 

[UnoMas]

How old is she? How you deal with this can really depend on her age.
I've had consistently-last gymnasts from L3 to L8 and age 4 to 16 at various times in my daughters' careers!

At the older end they really don't care as much about medals, but they can also get very angry with themselves for not making skills or improvements or whatever. Dealing with that right now. When they are little and so much about the medals, it's just so sad! My basic philosophy has been...point out at least 3 positives each meet that I am SO proud of...even if I have to look hard.
If they are disappointed with a score, skill, etc., I also encourage them to identify what they need to work on and then encourage them to work on xyz at practice the next week and see if they can improve xyz at the next meet. Make it all about small improvements they can make and big time celebrate those when they make them!
Virtual hugs, I get it, believe me, but it is possible to work through it with them in a positive but constructive manner.

 

[GYM0M]

Well her path is an odd one. Started Xcel bronze and was state and regional champion. Then jumped to level 4 which was at best mediocre (high 8's and low 9s on floor). Skipped 5 and now on to 6. She is for sure being tenths to death (knees knees knees!), and she is not doing the minimum skills that might not be as clean as they should be (but I admire her for doing the more difficult stuff)!!

A minimal polished routine will outscore a more difficult clean routine every time. How are her scores? I have noticed that many L6ish routines are frequently scoring 9.5+. I'm not a big fan of the whole "meet the minimum to get a big score" mentality, but for some that 1st place AA is quite important. Quick disclaimer: I have no problem with minimal routines nor do I have a problem with those that are consistently on top in their current level due to progress issues as these things happen; however, imo, L6 should be used a bridge from L5 to L7 with a difficulty somewhere in between, not a L5 routine to selected music.....just my opinion though.
My DD faced the same thing in L7. She had great scores, 9.3-9.5, but consistently lost several 'places' when her full and switch half competed against back tucks and wolf jumps. She didn't have a L8 vault, but after a few meets in L7, I asked the coaches to move her up so that she could at least be competitive in the 3 other events.

 

[Mommyo2az]

Just responding to a couple questions. DD just turned 10 a few weeks ago and is the youngest of our level 6s. She is scoring low 9's (9.0 - 9.2) except vault which is high 8's. We are also a "peak at states" mentality gym, whereas some others are top notch at the get go!
Thank you all for your hugs and commiseration. Sometimes it can feel like I am the only one - it's nice to know I am not alone!!