Crazy Gym Moms

[Tumblequeensmom]

I bet I got everyone's attention with that title, right?

My DD just decided to quit gymnastics after being on team for 6 years. She was going to compete L8 this year and was doing REALLY, REALLY well... coming along very nicely w/all her skills and was really ready to have a great season. Well, school started 2 weeks ago, she's a junior and WHAM... she wants time to do other things... o.k... in my head I get that, but in my heart it just about killed me!!!

Sooooo... my DD started calling me a CGM!!! Seriously???? ME???? I have "dropped and dashed" at practices for years now, have never asked for more training hours, never paid for private lessons week after week, never done any of the things I've seen other parents do so that their child will go to the Olympics. Didn't even care about what kind of scores she got at meets... In fact, I always laughed at this parents who take their little books at every meet so they can track not only their own DD's scores, but everyone elses's on the teams as well!!!

Sooooo.... Just for kicks and giggles, I was wondering what the craziiest thing is that you've seen a parent do w/regard to their child's gymnastics?

For me, I saw a mom scream and yell at her daughter at one of DD's Level 5 meets a few years ago because the DD messed up her bar routine. Seriously!!! And then last year, I was sitting next to a mom at a meet where the mom said "Oh, her father is going to ground her for those scores!" Really??

Have any of you seen parental behavior that is out of control? Maybe we shoudl submit stories to TLC to make a REAL gymnastics reality show!!!

 

[bogwoppit]

Okay, I have to fess up, I didn't see this but a coach told me the sorry tale.

There is a crazy gym mom (CGM hereafter) at her gym who set up a car pool for her DD. Then when the other mom in the car pool went to the CGM's house to pick up her DD, the CGM got in the car and rode the car pool to the gym with her DD. She stayed for the whole practice and then rode the car pool home again!!! This happens all the time apparently.

I laughed my face off over that one!

I am sure this thread could be pages long. As for you being a CGM, I think not!

 

[gymgal]

I always laughed at this parents who take their little books at every meet so they can track not only their own DD's scores, but everyone elses's on the teams as well!!!

Ah - yes.... I have done this but I resolved at the beginning of the summer not to do it this year. Frankly, it's too stressful, trying to keep track of it all. I have done it in the past because dd likes to see how she did compared to others on her (she never looks during the meet) but the reality is that most meet scores are now uploaded to the internet. And it is really stressful trying to keep up with all the scores and girls! I will probably continue to keep her score so she has it at the end of the meet but that's all.

As for crazy moms - we have a pretty mellow group in our gym, thankfully - at least from what I've seen...

 

[CoachGoofy]

Oh I love this thread...

When I was a gymnast, my mom, who was really mostly NOT a CGM (she was mostly uninterested until I started getting good...) sat at a few meets & demanded that I teach her the names of the skills we saw, the degree of difficulty, and what level they were. There was some "why can't YOU do that?" involved in these conversations...it was awkward, even though I think some of it was an attempt to bond. Kind of.

And I have seen parents demand a score protest. Loudly. In front of entire meets. It's embarrassing, & I feel bad for their kids.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Oh yeah, the "score protest!" I saw a mom and dad march up to the coach and DEMAND (in extremely LOUD voices... i.e. screaming!) that the coach protest the score. Poor coach... we were all in shock. Don't know whether or not the coach followed the "request" or not.

Then there's the mom who wouldn't let her child join the team and parents in a celebratory dinner after a meet because she didn't feel her daughter deserved it since her scores weren't up to her standards. What in the world could we do??? We tried to pump up the child, tell the mom that her scores really don't matter, it's just one meet (oh, and she scored in the mid to high 8 range on each event), blah blah blah. It didn't matter, poor child was not allowed to join us.

 

[coachmolly]

Then there's the mom who wouldn't let her child join the team and parents in a celebratory dinner after a meet because she didn't feel her daughter deserved it since her scores weren't up to her standards. What in the world could we do??? We tried to pump up the child, tell the mom that her scores really don't matter, it's just one meet (oh, and she scored in the mid to high 8 range on each event), blah blah blah. It didn't matter, poor child was not allowed to join us.

Yikes! I would have never gotten to go out after meets if my parents followed that rule, mid to high 8s were a usually a reason to celebrate for me!
I think most of the CGMs around the gyms I attended were more the type to sit in the lobby or at meets and gossip- how other kids looked, who was getting in trouble, who was fat, those kinds of things. Of course, in some of the gyms I was at the coaches also involved themselves in this kind of chatter so I think it was probably more the culture of the entire gym rather than just CGM.

 

[Azgymmiemom]

The worst I've seen (I've only been through one competitive season...well, two-a boys' and a girls') was a CGD (dad) who was recording his dd on bars. She fell out of her mill circle, and he slammed the cover shut on the recorder (stopping tape in mid routine) muttered a not so quiet 4 letter curse word, stood up and stalked out. I was horrified.

 

[GymnastJoy]

Unfortunately, my best gym friend is a CGM. Our dds competed at the same level in the same age group with another girl on the team. The other girl had a horrible family trauma, couldn't compete the prior year, and repeated the level. So she was always the top scorer compared to our dds. Mind you, not only did this girl go through something horrible, she is the sweetest girl with the biggest smile and a mom who is the opposite of a CGM. Anyway, half-way through the season after a meet at awards my friend (CGM) turns to the other mom and says, "Doesn't your dd ever have a bad day? I've been waiting for her to at least fall off beam or mess up on bars. Give the rest of our dds a chance. My dd can't place well because your dd is always before her." OMG. I was sitting there mortified. Then she chuckled like it was a joke. So not funny. Even parents on other teams were horrified. Now this year my dd has dediced to repeat current level to work on form and technique. She will be with my friend's dd once again. We are good friends but I am trying to figure out how not to sit with her at meets or engage in meet talk. So awkward.

 

[gymgurl]

Some of these are crazy!!! I'm so glad that our gym is all so relaxed! There is one parent erring on the side of CGM but she's nothing like the stories i've heard here in fact the only thing slightly pushy she's done is try to get her daughter to compete up a level (the daughter is more than capable and it would have been her 3rd year level 5 and the only thing stopping her was a round off flic sault and that was a bonus anyway in level 6) she does keep track of scores of our team but mainly so we can find out our scores if we miss them. There has never been any I hope she stuffs up so that my dd can place, and she is so lovely to everyone it really is lovely I still can't believe that someone would actually say things like i wish your dd would fall off beam, that is soooo horrible!!

 

[TexasRose]

We're still new to gym but I've already seen a couple of CGM's. They both sit and watch every practice. That wouldn't be bad but they talk about the kids and their progress. One of the mom's, who is new to gym as well- her daughters started team the same time as mine- will sit there and critique the coaches. She talks about how they're not spotting correctly and how she's not happy with the coaching. She's never been involved in the sport before this. I think if you're not happy with the coaching you should either speak with the coaches or leave. It just makes for an akward situation. One mom demanded more training hours for the girls and the gym listened and added a practice day for the upper levels. Now that mom's daughter doesn't even go to the extra day because she has track and volleyball and makes a fuss when the coaches tell her that gymnastics needs to come first and her daughter needs to be at all practices. I'm sure more will come out throughout the season. I've employed the drop and dash technique to keep myself sane

 

[lhmom]

We have a few at our gym, but nothing like some of the stories I have read here at least not yet. I suspect that we will have real crazy one this season after hearing her comments from the mock meet (her DD is new). Plan to sit far away from her once meet season starts since our daughters will be in the same age group. I am also horrified to hear of those parents who punish for bad scores. Last season, we told our daughter was not to get hung up on scores or placements since scores varied from comp to comp and sometimes a higher score didn't mean a higher placement. It just mattered that she felt she'd done her best. I hate to imagine what these poor kids are thinking when they try their hardest and still get punished. By the way TQM, I don't think that you are a CGM.

 

[Facility Manager]

My daughter is in gymnastics but I deal with gymnastics on a different level too. I am the facility manager of a high school. I deal with all kinds of booster clubs and sports moms from every sport. I have to say that the gymnastics moms are the most rude and degrading people I have ever met in any job I have held. They have a feeling of entitlement that makes them think they can walk all over the people who actually help set up the events that their DD's go to. I am so tired of feeling like a piece of crap and being treated with disrespect by these women. It's horrible. I love the athletes. I would do anything for them but I wish their mothers would stop living thru them and learn how to treat people. I am currently working a banquet for the gymnastics team, I have tried to get everything set up for them before hand so I don't have to deal with them. It's the most uncomfortable feeling in the world to be in the school that I run and not feel like I can leave my office. I have never seen this with any other sport and I will be pulling my 9 yr old out of gymnastics. I don't want her influenced by these hoity toity too good for anyone moms.

 

[cher062]

Yup back several years ago when my DD was a L5 at the state meet - this CGM from the gym I was at was sitting besid me and her DD fell on Beam. Mom started screaming from the stands things like "Whats wrong with you" etc. The girl places 2nd all around (i'm thinking that was great) Nope not for that mom. When the meet was over out in the parking lot the mother was all but down that girls throat with profanities and saying she was a loser etc. Made her throw her trophy in the trash while girl was hysterically crying. They pulled away and I went and got the trophy. Next day at the gym I gave it to the gym owner told him what happened and Hoped he would handle it. Don't know what happened after that but seriously My DD would have killed to come in 2nd. That year she came in like 21st. to this day I can hardly believe that scene.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

Yup back several years ago when my DD was a L5 at the state meet - this CGM from the gym I was at was sitting besid me and her DD fell on Beam. Mom started screaming from the stands things like "Whats wrong with you" etc. The girl places 2nd all around (i'm thinking that was great) Nope not for that mom. When the meet was over out in the parking lot the mother was all but down that girls throat with profanities and saying she was a loser etc. Made her throw her trophy in the trash while girl was hysterically crying. They pulled away and I went and got the trophy. Next day at the gym I gave it to the gym owner told him what happened and Hoped he would handle it. Don't know what happened after that but seriously My DD would have killed to come in 2nd. That year she came in like 21st. to this day I can hardly believe that scene.

that is horrifying. that poor child.

 

[GymnastJoy]

Wow, that is so sad. Good for you, Cher, for taking the trophy out of the trash. Hopefully, the little girl got it back (even if she had to hide it from her CGM).

 

[MaryA]

Yup back several years ago when my DD was a L5 at the state meet - this CGM from the gym I was at was sitting besid me and her DD fell on Beam. Mom started screaming from the stands things like "Whats wrong with you" etc. The girl places 2nd all around (i'm thinking that was great) Nope not for that mom. When the meet was over out in the parking lot the mother was all but down that girls throat with profanities and saying she was a loser etc. Made her throw her trophy in the trash while girl was hysterically crying. They pulled away and I went and got the trophy. Next day at the gym I gave it to the gym owner told him what happened and Hoped he would handle it. Don't know what happened after that but seriously My DD would have killed to come in 2nd. That year she came in like 21st. to this day I can hardly believe that scene.

That just beaks my heart! And F.M., we're not all like that, I promise. I do think a few "bad apples" in the barrel can help to create a "culture of craziness" and parents who may be completely lovely and reasonable under normal circumstances can get pulled into the fray. The mom in Cher's story, though, has moved out of CGM territory and into the realm of "Call Social Services." Truly, I hope it got back to the child's coach that this kid was being treated this way. Not that it could have been a huge surprise, but I hope the coach is doing some damage control on his/her end. This child needs all of the positive and supportive adults she can get in her life.

 

[cher062]

Like I said this was a good 4 years ago and at the end of that season they moved to another gym. Saw them compete for L6 but then never saw them again. Made me feel so sorry for the girl but also made me so happy I wasn't a CGM like that. My biggest crazy things was getting hair done so it didn't fall out at meets. I"m more in the "if she does well great lets celebrate with ice cream, if she doesn't oh well there is next time so lets get some - so sorry you didn't do as well as you hoped ice cream" Either way there is Ice Cream in my future and hers LOL.

 

[coachmolly]

I remember one time as a level 4 I ate a bunch of junk the night before an early morning meet and had a crummy meet the next day. My mom commented on how my junk food indulgence the night before certainly didn't help my performance and encouraged me to make smarter decisions the next time, but that was about as CGM as it got. There were still always celebrations of little successes and dinners out or some kind of treat after meets, good or bad and that made meets generally pleasant experiences.
Had I placed 2nd AA at a state meet I think my mom would have been making a totally different kind of scene, one of total shock, disbelief, and excitement!

 

[Maitland]

Besides CGM, there are also CRM (Crazy Room Moms--at school). I have never been a room mom at school, but recently volunteered for a class that did not have one. When I told my daughter that I was a room mom (I was sort of excited about it), she said (and I quote), "No way, you are just not room mom material." I was shocked! She went on to explain that room moms stand at the back of the class and gossip about each other and even some of the kids (and she said they think they are whispering, but the kids can usually hear them--it's a good lesson, kids don't miss much!) I guess I am NOT room mom material, but I am going to have fun anyhow!

 

[Muddlethru]

I think the craziest gym moms are the ones that try so hard to pretend they are not. I almost prefer those that are honest with their feelings. Our resident CGM is always saying she does not really care how her daughter does and claims her daughter really does not care either. Last year, when the coach decided not to let her daughter test TOPS, she went to coach to find out why. And when coach said, her daughter cannot do any of the strength/abilities part of the test and did not want to take her just so she will score a zero. CGM says, "take her anyway". The commentary during meets is insane! She runs, checks my daughter's score, comments on it. Checks her daughter's score. Compares. Talks through all the routines (I guess a nervous habit). She says her daughter needs to relax when doing her routines. So, she runs to a place where she can be seen by her daughter, waves her down, gestures her daughter to smile, roots her own, etc. It is so exhausting watching her run around like a lunatic at the meets.

This last season, my daughter was moved up a level but her daughter was not. CGM has daughter put well over 100 hours more this summer, over 7 hours a day! It is almost priceless to see CGM's face when she hears or thinks my daughter is getting some preferential treatment. Had to drop my daughter at gym 30 mins earlier twice a week so that I can get my son and daughter at their respective sports practice on time. Sure enough, the next week, she has to be certain places and must drop her DD 30 min. early three times a week. Well her DD worked hard this summer and was able to learn the skills necessary to go to L8 So she is back in the same level as my daughter. Her DD is real sweet though. Though I am happy for her DD, not so sure I can handle a whole season with her around.

The cincher was when I told CGM we were having a big L8 this year and that it was going to be fun with so many girls. She seemed mortified at the thought that maybe some other L7 were being moved up and that it was not just her daughter. I am so puzzled by this lady. She does seem nice and helpful but why would she feel bad that maybe other L7 would be moved up too? I feel I have to distance myself from this lady. It is sad because our daughters are very good friends.