Parents Frustrated not sure how to handle...
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Sweetbrunette00
Proud Parent
Okay thank you!
D
Deleted member 18037
Could you clarify what skills you think they should be working??
A mill circle is not required for L2. And it's not required for L3 if you do a kip. But the kip is not required for L3.
So I am just curious what skills your gym requires.
It's also not unusual for Xcel girls to have some higher skills but not have some required ones because they haven't been required to do them. So it's not surprising they don't have a mill circle but they may have other skills that the JO girls don't.
So what you think they should be working may not be what they are or what is required.
Also they maybe doing drills or specific conditioning to prepare them for a skill. And while theses drills don't look like much to us they are usually pretty important to getting a gymmie ready to do a skill competently and more importantly safely.
Next a gymmie may just not be strong enough for a certain skill yet and "working" the skill may not necessarily be as helpful and productive as the drills.
My daughter was one of the last to get her kip. She didn't work it as much as the others girls. So based on what you have been observing you would of watched bars at our gym and assumed my girl was being treated unfairly and slower. I never thought that. She just wasn't ready why waste time, take time away from other girls and frustrate her with something she couldn't do. I trusted the coaches had a plan (they have been coaching for a really long time) There were other things for her to work on so they did. She got her kip and she scores top 3-4 in her group.
And perhaps those privates are when they concentrate on your child. I also wonder if those privates give the impression she is keeping up with the others but if not for them she would not be.
Next if you know you are going to move her, I would do it sooner rather then later. But wherever you move her to, you need to decide to trust what they are doing and let go and let them. If you don't it's not the gym for you. And if you can't at any gym then you will always have these issues.
Because I can assure you there will always be differences in personalities and how each gymnast is trained. It will appear like they are not doing much when they are drilling for new skills. These things will not necessarily change. And when you spend so much time looking at what everyone else is doing you will find differences guaranteed. If you expect that because you pay the same money all the gymnasts will be trained exactly the same and progress at the same rate, you will be disappointed everytime.
You and your gymnast need to focus on her and her skills, not what everyone else is doing. Or you will find issues with any gym you go to.
Fair does not mean equal. Fair is giving each what they need to succeed.
A mill circle is not required for L2. And it's not required for L3 if you do a kip. But the kip is not required for L3.
So I am just curious what skills your gym requires.
It's also not unusual for Xcel girls to have some higher skills but not have some required ones because they haven't been required to do them. So it's not surprising they don't have a mill circle but they may have other skills that the JO girls don't.
So what you think they should be working may not be what they are or what is required.
Also they maybe doing drills or specific conditioning to prepare them for a skill. And while theses drills don't look like much to us they are usually pretty important to getting a gymmie ready to do a skill competently and more importantly safely.
Next a gymmie may just not be strong enough for a certain skill yet and "working" the skill may not necessarily be as helpful and productive as the drills.
My daughter was one of the last to get her kip. She didn't work it as much as the others girls. So based on what you have been observing you would of watched bars at our gym and assumed my girl was being treated unfairly and slower. I never thought that. She just wasn't ready why waste time, take time away from other girls and frustrate her with something she couldn't do. I trusted the coaches had a plan (they have been coaching for a really long time) There were other things for her to work on so they did. She got her kip and she scores top 3-4 in her group.
And perhaps those privates are when they concentrate on your child. I also wonder if those privates give the impression she is keeping up with the others but if not for them she would not be.
Next if you know you are going to move her, I would do it sooner rather then later. But wherever you move her to, you need to decide to trust what they are doing and let go and let them. If you don't it's not the gym for you. And if you can't at any gym then you will always have these issues.
Because I can assure you there will always be differences in personalities and how each gymnast is trained. It will appear like they are not doing much when they are drilling for new skills. These things will not necessarily change. And when you spend so much time looking at what everyone else is doing you will find differences guaranteed. If you expect that because you pay the same money all the gymnasts will be trained exactly the same and progress at the same rate, you will be disappointed everytime.
You and your gymnast need to focus on her and her skills, not what everyone else is doing. Or you will find issues with any gym you go to.
Fair does not mean equal. Fair is giving each what they need to succeed.
Sweetbrunette00
Proud Parent
Everything you said makes perfect sense.
I understand that they are not up to the same speed as the JO girls.
But what frustrated me and confused me was how they put a girl who was in a lower group than my daughter this last season in with the group A when my daughter scored higher and was in group A last season.
It didn't really make sense because she never keeps up and the other girls that were in group A last season were put in group A this year.
So I didn't understand why someone who out scored and could perform more skills was placed in a different group and someone with less who was in group b was placed in group A this time. She hasn't changed anything and I really try not to compare them but they are the same age and same size and compete together every comp so it's hard not to wonder why.
I'm still quite new to the whole world so I like to ask questions and not always sure who to ask.
It's not that I don't trust the gym there isn't a lot of communication and I like to understand and know what they are doing with my daughter and their plan for her.
I don't expect every girl to do the same because we all pay the same but I do expect some equality.
I don't think it's right that someone who has less scores and less skills to be placed in a higher skilled group.
I just was frustrated that my daughter was learning to do kips and front hip circles and handstands and kart wheels on the beam and back hand springs and now the group she is in is only practicing lunges on beam, back hip circles and casts, and leaps on the floor and their round offs.
The other group is doing all the things I first mentioned my daughter was learning at the end of this last season so that was what was frustrating me the most. I just didn't understand why and wasn't sure if I needed to say something to the coaches about it.
It's hard to understand what they r thinking and he reasoning when they don't explain things to me. Some might say they don't have to but I feel that I should have an idea because I am her mom and want to be in the loop some what.
I think that all the skills she is practicing are great to get to practice but I'm just nervous about having to have everything by May and I just don't want to see her fail while the other group is already working on the skills.
I think I'm going to give it a few more weeks and hopefully they will start to work on the skills.
We like the gym and get along with all the parents we are only planning on moving gunna in the future because there isn't more opportunities as she grows as a gymnasts.
I'm going to try and just see how things play out over the next few weeks because everything has made sense about why they are working on those skills and why she might be in that group. I just would hate to see her fall behind because she isn't getting challenge or working on things she just started to learn.
Thanks for the perspective it is nice to get a better understanding of what might be going on from more experienced parents.
I understand that they are not up to the same speed as the JO girls.
But what frustrated me and confused me was how they put a girl who was in a lower group than my daughter this last season in with the group A when my daughter scored higher and was in group A last season.
It didn't really make sense because she never keeps up and the other girls that were in group A last season were put in group A this year.
So I didn't understand why someone who out scored and could perform more skills was placed in a different group and someone with less who was in group b was placed in group A this time. She hasn't changed anything and I really try not to compare them but they are the same age and same size and compete together every comp so it's hard not to wonder why.
I'm still quite new to the whole world so I like to ask questions and not always sure who to ask.
It's not that I don't trust the gym there isn't a lot of communication and I like to understand and know what they are doing with my daughter and their plan for her.
I don't expect every girl to do the same because we all pay the same but I do expect some equality.
I don't think it's right that someone who has less scores and less skills to be placed in a higher skilled group.
I just was frustrated that my daughter was learning to do kips and front hip circles and handstands and kart wheels on the beam and back hand springs and now the group she is in is only practicing lunges on beam, back hip circles and casts, and leaps on the floor and their round offs.
The other group is doing all the things I first mentioned my daughter was learning at the end of this last season so that was what was frustrating me the most. I just didn't understand why and wasn't sure if I needed to say something to the coaches about it.
It's hard to understand what they r thinking and he reasoning when they don't explain things to me. Some might say they don't have to but I feel that I should have an idea because I am her mom and want to be in the loop some what.
I think that all the skills she is practicing are great to get to practice but I'm just nervous about having to have everything by May and I just don't want to see her fail while the other group is already working on the skills.
I think I'm going to give it a few more weeks and hopefully they will start to work on the skills.
We like the gym and get along with all the parents we are only planning on moving gunna in the future because there isn't more opportunities as she grows as a gymnasts.
I'm going to try and just see how things play out over the next few weeks because everything has made sense about why they are working on those skills and why she might be in that group. I just would hate to see her fall behind because she isn't getting challenge or working on things she just started to learn.
Thanks for the perspective it is nice to get a better understanding of what might be going on from more experienced parents.
I would talk to the coaches about it in a "what's the plan for her" kind of way instead of a "why is she in the B group" kind of way. Maybe mention dd is bored and frustrated because these are all skills she has and she doesn't feel like the coach is working with her and see what they say. I would also say that if season is over and you are planning on moving her after next year anyway, I would move her now instead of letting her stay in the B group all year (unless the coaches can explain their plan to you and it makes sense).
D
Deleted member 18037
This and again, unless you actually talk to the coaches you really won't know whats up.
Talking to us won't tell you that we aren't there and are not the coaches.
Really they are just 2 different groups, you really don't know why.
Finally, my girl at L2 was the highest scorer, state champ kid. Parents couldn't understand why she wasn't a higher level (sure she could probably be a level up, miss required skills, perform them poorly and not score well). It was rather simple she didn't have all the skills for the next level. It wasn't about not working them, she just couldn't do them yet. Really its not only about scores and who scores best. My kid is never the first to get skills, she is usually one of the last. She scores well not because she gets the skills quickly, she doesn't, she scores well because when she does get them she gets them well. And that is because she is in the right level for her , and the coaches and her are working her plan. The plan that works for her. There is so much more involved then getting a skill first or quickly.
Sweetbrunette00
Proud Parent
I agree completely. I just wasn't sure if I should wait and see or if I should just go ahead and talk to them.
I'm always afraid of asking questions because I don't want to come across the wrong way. I don't want them to get offended because I'm asking why.a lot of times when I ask anything it's not because I want to question its because I don't understand and the only way to understand the bigger picture is by asking especially since I'm newer to the sport
I'm always afraid of asking questions because I don't want to come across the wrong way. I don't want them to get offended because I'm asking why.a lot of times when I ask anything it's not because I want to question its because I don't understand and the only way to understand the bigger picture is by asking especially since I'm newer to the sport
- Moderator
- #48
I really like the recent advice from Deleted member 18037! I would like to add that you really should do some research on age of L4 gymnasts in your area and look at age of L4s in the gyms you are considering. Your DD is 8 (closer to 9 or 7?). And it sounds like she still has quite a bit of work for L4. So likely competing as a 9 or 10 year old, maybe even pushing 11? Some gyms won't take a kid this old in L4. My DD was 11 and was a couple of years older than all her teammates and always in the oldest age group at meets. I know that some gyms in my area would not have taken her.
Musicmama
Proud Parent
I don't think that it's ever a bad thing to ask questions. Just try not to be in a negative or accusatory mindset when doing so. Try to ask genuinely because you care about what plan they have for your dd, not because you're frustrated and upset about the other girl being in the higher group.
Some of the best advice I've read here is to only worry about your child, not any of the other children. Their progress and path isn't something you can ever really know much about - all you know about the other girl is what you've seen/heard and that's almost certainly only a small piece of her entire story.
Some of the best advice I've read here is to only worry about your child, not any of the other children. Their progress and path isn't something you can ever really know much about - all you know about the other girl is what you've seen/heard and that's almost certainly only a small piece of her entire story.
Sweetbrunette00
Proud Parent
Great advice thank you! And she just started level 3 and she is 7.5 won't turn 8 till end of May.
So if she competes in fall for 3 she would be 8.5 if she can make level 4 or if she had to repeat level 3 so hopefully as long as she stays on track she would either be 8.5-9.5 by level 4..
So if she competes in fall for 3 she would be 8.5 if she can make level 4 or if she had to repeat level 3 so hopefully as long as she stays on track she would either be 8.5-9.5 by level 4..
Would you be upset about your DD's placement if little Sally A Group didn't exist? A significant portion of your posts seem to revolve around being unhappy that little Sally is in the "A" group. Little Sally's placement is honestly none of your business. The coaches may see something in her that they want to develop. Or it could be a pushy parent or any number of reasons, none of which are related to your DD's gymnastics.
You mentioned skills that the "A" group is working - kips, cartwheels, etc. None of those is a required level 3 skill. If most of the girls in thst group are repeating level 3, it makes sense for them to be working on level 4 skills more than the group with 1st time level 3s.
As others have mentioned, just because the girls aren't working a front hip circle does not mean they aren't working on stations and conditioning to get a front hip circle. The more preparatory work they do for the actual skills, the more likely they will get them quickly when the time comes. There are still months before your May deadline.
My DD is a first year level 4 this year. We only have 1 group, but there are disparities even in thar one group. The couple of repeaters work on flyaways, and giants, back and front tucks, beam BHS, etc. A couple of the first years work some of those skills as well - depending on their skill level in a particular event. The other girls work skills closer to what they need for competing Level 4. As season winds down, they will all start working more of those higher level skills. But, it isn't unfair to my DD thst she only gets a turn or two on the strap bar while her teammate spends a good portion of her bar time on strap bar. My DD's time will come. In the meantime she is getting stronger and gaining confidence aND skills that will eventually prepare her for those skills.
Sit back and let your DD have fun. It can be a long journey if she continues in gymnastics.
You mentioned skills that the "A" group is working - kips, cartwheels, etc. None of those is a required level 3 skill. If most of the girls in thst group are repeating level 3, it makes sense for them to be working on level 4 skills more than the group with 1st time level 3s.
As others have mentioned, just because the girls aren't working a front hip circle does not mean they aren't working on stations and conditioning to get a front hip circle. The more preparatory work they do for the actual skills, the more likely they will get them quickly when the time comes. There are still months before your May deadline.
My DD is a first year level 4 this year. We only have 1 group, but there are disparities even in thar one group. The couple of repeaters work on flyaways, and giants, back and front tucks, beam BHS, etc. A couple of the first years work some of those skills as well - depending on their skill level in a particular event. The other girls work skills closer to what they need for competing Level 4. As season winds down, they will all start working more of those higher level skills. But, it isn't unfair to my DD thst she only gets a turn or two on the strap bar while her teammate spends a good portion of her bar time on strap bar. My DD's time will come. In the meantime she is getting stronger and gaining confidence aND skills that will eventually prepare her for those skills.
Sit back and let your DD have fun. It can be a long journey if she continues in gymnastics.
Orangesoda
Proud Parent
Is this true? You can do a kip in place of stride circle in L3 bars?
Sweetbrunette00
Proud Parent
Thanks for advance that is a great perspective I really appreciate all the input. It has helped me to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
There are 3 in group A that were with my daughter last season and a total of 3 in her group now.
I just didn't understand how everyone was put back in the group like they were in for level 2 except for my dd and the other child. They switched groups and from what I've seen I couldn't understand why they would do that when my dd tends to our rank that girl. I was using her more as an example and no I wouldn't have a problem with her placement I just found it odd that they put her there but not my dd. I see there are lots more reasons why she could be there. And I am glad she is getting to work on base stuff which will give her an even stronger foundation.
I didn't realize how there are so many different ways of training and coaching.
Like I said previously I'm still relatively new to the competition world so it's good to find an understanding and see the reason why.
I just want to make sure that my dd is getting the most out of her training and that she is on a good path for her own.
I'm going to see how things play out its a marathon not a sprint and I know that.
Sometimes I just need to take a step back and see the bigger picture
There are 3 in group A that were with my daughter last season and a total of 3 in her group now.
I just didn't understand how everyone was put back in the group like they were in for level 2 except for my dd and the other child. They switched groups and from what I've seen I couldn't understand why they would do that when my dd tends to our rank that girl. I was using her more as an example and no I wouldn't have a problem with her placement I just found it odd that they put her there but not my dd. I see there are lots more reasons why she could be there. And I am glad she is getting to work on base stuff which will give her an even stronger foundation.
I didn't realize how there are so many different ways of training and coaching.
Like I said previously I'm still relatively new to the competition world so it's good to find an understanding and see the reason why.
I just want to make sure that my dd is getting the most out of her training and that she is on a good path for her own.
I'm going to see how things play out its a marathon not a sprint and I know that.
Sometimes I just need to take a step back and see the bigger picture
My #1 suggestion would be to find something else to do while your DD practices for the next month. Don't watch as all. When you pickbher up sk her if she has fun, but avoid asking specifics about practice. If she tells, that's great, but don't ask if she worked anything in particular. After that month, go back and watch a little bit of practice. I would almost guarantee that you see a vast difference. Watching practice frequently is frustrating. They seem to take one step forward and 3 steps back. It's like watching your kids grow. When you see them every day, you don't notice them getting taller, but look at that mark on the doorframe from a month ago and you realize how far they have come.
And again, forget about this other girl. Her journey isn't your daughter's. Why she is in thst group doesnt affect your daughter. Remember that they will ultimately be competing together as a team and you don't want your DD to have bad feelings about a girl she should root for and cheer as they compete together
And again, forget about this other girl. Her journey isn't your daughter's. Why she is in thst group doesnt affect your daughter. Remember that they will ultimately be competing together as a team and you don't want your DD to have bad feelings about a girl she should root for and cheer as they compete together
D
Deleted member 18037
Sweetbrunette00
Proud Parent
You are right. We aren't even allowed to watch most of practice so I just won't watch when I'm allowed to lol.
I think that's a great idea
thank you for the suggestion!
I think that's a great idea
thank you for the suggestion!
Orangesoda
Proud Parent
Oooh. Fun link! That's so interesting, I've never seen a gymnast do the alternate L3 bar routine.
D
Deleted member 18037
I haven't either but I have heard of it being done. Took my kid forever to get that mill circle but boy was it pretty when she got it and I was very glad For them to be done with it and the pancake/candlestick vault.
There are two different choices in the level 3 bar routine. You can do pullover OR kip, then you can do stride(mill) circle OR basket swing. You can't substitute the kip for the mill circle.
D
Deleted member 18037
Not a level 3 expert which is why I posted the actual routines. My points was that a mill circle can be gotten around. It is for sure not required in level 2. And as there is some flexibility in skills it is possible that gyms chose different paths. So while a child may look like they don't have the skills they may because they just might be different.
When I do hear of L3s doing kips at meets, they tend to not do mill circles.
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