Parents Good Luck to all the gymnasts in the group
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I think you are taking it just a bit too far. I am quite sure that no one has said you can't post or ask questions. If you ask something on a public forum, you are going to get a variety of responses. If you wanted everyone to agree with you, why post? When I post here, I expect to get different opinions. If I like them great, if I don't, great. Sometimes I learn something I didn't know. Sometimes I end up changing my thoughts about something and growing as a person. I would hate to be in a group where everyone just agreed with everyone. I like the variety of different personalities and experiences we have on here! If you stick around, you might come to appreciate that as well.
If you don't want the support of a great group, that is your decision. Personally, I enjoy reading all the different opinions here, whether I agree with them or not. And I really think that when I am most upset about something that someone else writes in response to me, it usually because deep down I know it is probably true. But that is where I learn the most.
I read your original post and was thinking of how to respond, but this morning it was gone. I agreed with most of the posters, you can't expect other people to react in any way at all. I do think her coaches should be proud of her each time, but you can't expect other parents to be wowed everytime.
Sophia is VERY talented and is having a great season. As a parent, it is your job to teach her humility, how to win and lose with grace. She is little, it is probably normal for her to hope everyone would be thrilled for her, but it isn't reality. Most kids work really hard and not all will ever reach the highs Sophia has reached because every kid is different. Abby works her butt off at the gym, but because she isn't a natural (does have the natural flexibility or form that some kids have), she has never hit those super high scores and probably won't ever, doesn't mean she doesn't work hard.
I think you have an honest challenge, but it isn't getting other parents to react or even the coaches. You have to teach your daughter how to win graciously and that winning isn't everything nor is it the most important reason to be in gymnastics. And you have to prepare her for the fact that she might not always win. I think it is much harder to be a parent of a very talented gymnast sometimes. They seem to be the ones that fall the hardest as well. I think the thread would have provided you with a LOT of insight as to what to do to best help your daughter with that. Not sure if the thread got too negative or why it is no longer here, but I bet it would proven a good resource from parents that have been there done that.
Good luck to Sophia. She obviously works hard and has a lot of natural talent. Hope she has a blast now and always and learns that winning isn't everything. Because if she doesn't when she doesn't win, then what? Good luck to you as well figuring out how to best help her be happy with her performance regardless of placements and to not worry what other gymnasts/parents think.
If you don't want the support of a great group, that is your decision. Personally, I enjoy reading all the different opinions here, whether I agree with them or not. And I really think that when I am most upset about something that someone else writes in response to me, it usually because deep down I know it is probably true. But that is where I learn the most.
I read your original post and was thinking of how to respond, but this morning it was gone. I agreed with most of the posters, you can't expect other people to react in any way at all. I do think her coaches should be proud of her each time, but you can't expect other parents to be wowed everytime.
Sophia is VERY talented and is having a great season. As a parent, it is your job to teach her humility, how to win and lose with grace. She is little, it is probably normal for her to hope everyone would be thrilled for her, but it isn't reality. Most kids work really hard and not all will ever reach the highs Sophia has reached because every kid is different. Abby works her butt off at the gym, but because she isn't a natural (does have the natural flexibility or form that some kids have), she has never hit those super high scores and probably won't ever, doesn't mean she doesn't work hard.
I think you have an honest challenge, but it isn't getting other parents to react or even the coaches. You have to teach your daughter how to win graciously and that winning isn't everything nor is it the most important reason to be in gymnastics. And you have to prepare her for the fact that she might not always win. I think it is much harder to be a parent of a very talented gymnast sometimes. They seem to be the ones that fall the hardest as well. I think the thread would have provided you with a LOT of insight as to what to do to best help your daughter with that. Not sure if the thread got too negative or why it is no longer here, but I bet it would proven a good resource from parents that have been there done that.
Good luck to Sophia. She obviously works hard and has a lot of natural talent. Hope she has a blast now and always and learns that winning isn't everything. Because if she doesn't when she doesn't win, then what? Good luck to you as well figuring out how to best help her be happy with her performance regardless of placements and to not worry what other gymnasts/parents think.
I am sad to hear that you are considering of leaving. Many of the group are very strong with their views and that is fine it is life. I think everyone on this boad needs to remember that people have feeling and just because people are different they should try to "play nice" while in the sand box. I think some value could be taken from others but we ALL need to remember that no one is perfect and they should consider other's feeling when expressing themselves. I have found if you are not of the same belief that many on here can be almost rude which I really don't feel is their intention.
I believe every little gymmie works hard to be where they are. The level of work that Sophie puts into the gym is probably no different than the level of work that Abby puts into her gymnastics. I don't think that anyone here said that their child works harder than anyone else. I will say this it is hard when you are proud of your child and the people you turn to for support and to share are not there it is hard. I have seen this here and in many gyms. I support all the girls here and in our gym but..... I don't hear that same return to everyone. I think that is what the true problem is.
This group is very selective of the people they support. If you are not of the same belief then people are a little bit more burttle. I have accepted that of you all and respect it but I am not saying it is right. We should all learn more respect for each other and treat all the same.
I believe every little gymmie works hard to be where they are. The level of work that Sophie puts into the gym is probably no different than the level of work that Abby puts into her gymnastics. I don't think that anyone here said that their child works harder than anyone else. I will say this it is hard when you are proud of your child and the people you turn to for support and to share are not there it is hard. I have seen this here and in many gyms. I support all the girls here and in our gym but..... I don't hear that same return to everyone. I think that is what the true problem is.
This group is very selective of the people they support. If you are not of the same belief then people are a little bit more burttle. I have accepted that of you all and respect it but I am not saying it is right. We should all learn more respect for each other and treat all the same.
The hard work comment was because I remember her saying something about how hard Sophia works in her other thread and I wanted to make a point that most gymmies work hard, regardless of whether their scores reflect that. I had not posted a response last night because I wanted to get my point across carefully as Karen had already gotten offended it seemed by some of the responses. I had things to say, but wanted to make sure I got it out right.
I don't treat anyone here different. I read the thread and respond. I think that a lot of people haven't learned how to "live peacefully" in an online forum. It is extremely hard to get across messages via a forum and many don't realize that. I always read and re-read my posts, especially if what I am saying is not what I imagine is the answer wanted. I read it out loud on the re-read to see what it sounds like out loud. I put a lot of thought into answers that I think might be of a differing opinion and I don't ever try to hurt anyone's feelings. I also do the same when reading a post and try to read imagining the "best intentions" of the poster. Not everyone does that and this is what usually happens.
I don't think anyone here has ever been treated without respect. I have seen some hot topics that are button pushers for sure and bring out strong opinions, but never any downright disrespect. Sharing your opinion and voicing concern is not disrespectful. I imagine that posts that are out of line are deleted or moderated by the mods.
M
momofagymmie
Sorry to read this. I have had posts with hardly any responses and some with opinions and i prefer the ones with opinions. That way I get a better read on my own opinion
I also read the earlier post. Congratulations on the 5 AA wins. My 2 cents: The gymnast is the driver of herself. If she want's to keep going and working at her sport she will. No one else can teach that. Coaches can suggest & give an example of it but in the end it's all about the gymnast and their drive and desire to be better regardless of the actual results.
I also read the earlier post. Congratulations on the 5 AA wins. My 2 cents: The gymnast is the driver of herself. If she want's to keep going and working at her sport she will. No one else can teach that. Coaches can suggest & give an example of it but in the end it's all about the gymnast and their drive and desire to be better regardless of the actual results.
gymjourneymom
Proud Parent
Hello Karen,
I was away this weekend, so I missed your OP & what transpired. I am sorry that you feel you cannot post any longer. Good luck to your very talented DD. I wish you would "hang around" a bit longer. I think maybe your post could have opened the doors to some interesting topics.
We do love to support one another around here. But I must honestly say that after awhile all the "brags" start to run together in my mind anymore. I can't remember the "story" behind each poster like I would like too. There are just too many "stories" for me to remember. I like my posts to be thoughful, not just generic. I try to put a "face" on each post & try to remember the stories & prior posts by that person. But it's just getting too difficult.
These messages boards have grown sooo big! I have to admit I haven't been posting as much as I used to because of this. It's gotten a bit overwhelming for me. But the moderators, especially Bog, do an amazing job of remembering each person & their "story". I think they are to be commended for this volunteer work. They keep this a "safe" place(as much as they can) for our gymmies to connect & for us too. But it is a public forum on the world wide web. They can only do so much.
Sometimes I just let comments roll off my back & ignore them. But often they get me thinking, no matter what. A reality check. Mostly I try to assume the best of people. And that maybe they are posting in a hurry or whatever, if a post seems rude or curt. Maybe they are having a bad day etc. I think these boards have helped me grow thicker skin! Now that's a good thing... because I'm no where as tough as my DD,LOL!
I truly appreciate those who do continue to post & those who post replies. I check frequently for a 'hot topic' to get me to join back in. I hope you reconsider, your plan to leave. I'd love to have an interesting 'hot topic' to read & post about.
I was away this weekend, so I missed your OP & what transpired. I am sorry that you feel you cannot post any longer. Good luck to your very talented DD. I wish you would "hang around" a bit longer. I think maybe your post could have opened the doors to some interesting topics.
We do love to support one another around here. But I must honestly say that after awhile all the "brags" start to run together in my mind anymore. I can't remember the "story" behind each poster like I would like too. There are just too many "stories" for me to remember. I like my posts to be thoughful, not just generic. I try to put a "face" on each post & try to remember the stories & prior posts by that person. But it's just getting too difficult.
These messages boards have grown sooo big! I have to admit I haven't been posting as much as I used to because of this. It's gotten a bit overwhelming for me. But the moderators, especially Bog, do an amazing job of remembering each person & their "story". I think they are to be commended for this volunteer work. They keep this a "safe" place(as much as they can) for our gymmies to connect & for us too. But it is a public forum on the world wide web. They can only do so much.
Sometimes I just let comments roll off my back & ignore them. But often they get me thinking, no matter what. A reality check. Mostly I try to assume the best of people. And that maybe they are posting in a hurry or whatever, if a post seems rude or curt. Maybe they are having a bad day etc. I think these boards have helped me grow thicker skin! Now that's a good thing... because I'm no where as tough as my DD,LOL
!I truly appreciate those who do continue to post & those who post replies. I check frequently for a 'hot topic' to get me to join back in. I hope you reconsider, your plan to leave. I'd love to have an interesting 'hot topic' to read & post about
.
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I am sorry to hear that you wish to leave CB. (especially since it might have been my post that sent you over the edge ) I know that I am very opinionated and that my feeling toward gymnastics, and especially gymnastics parents (remember I am one), come across hard - maybe even unforgiving. I do not mean them to - if you all only really knew me.
My dd is almost 13. She has been at gymnastics since she was 2. That makes 11 years. She has been competing since she was 7. It has not been a straight path or an easy one. For her or for me. I fumble and fall - A LOT!!
I do not want to discourage anyone, or keep them from asking questions here. I very much would like you to reconsider leaving CB. You and your dd have such a long road ahead - it is good to have a place outside of your gym to have perspective on this sport. Your dd, as I said is very gifted and seems to be very intense. She is blessed with talent and focus - you are blessed with a wonderfully talented dd. Be thankful for that - but do not expect everyone else to be thankful as well. See, there I go being harsh again. It is years of experience. Years of hard, hard work - and heartbreak. Years of my own dd being grateful and thrilled with 8th place because she actually got a medal. It is 3 years at level 6 before moving to level 8. If you leave now you miss out on a lot of parents with years and years of experience in this sport. I am not saying you NEED us, you don't. But you are selling this sight short by leaving so soon, I enjoy reading other points of view, of gaining new perspectives, of challenging my perspectives, and gaining new knowledge.
I know I am not the poster that always says - your right, or congratulations. Even in my everyday life I challenge people. I want them to look at the other perspective, the other point of view. I challenge myself to see things that way. When someone congratulates me one my dd's success - I usually answer that all I do is pay the bill, my dd does all the hard work!! I also always say something good about their child because every small success in this sport counts. I know! My child has struggled to get where she is - I make no apologies for that. She has been through he** and back. More than once.
I'm not trying to "put you in your place," but I am trying to get you to see the other point of view.
I know I come off badly here. I'm sorry. I do want every gymnast to be as successful as they can be - it is a different place for all of them. The best we can do is to win and to lose with grace - and to always but others success before our own or our child's!!
) I know that I am very opinionated and that my feeling toward gymnastics, and especially gymnastics parents (remember I am one), come across hard - maybe even unforgiving. I do not mean them to - if you all only really knew me. My dd is almost 13. She has been at gymnastics since she was 2. That makes 11 years. She has been competing since she was 7. It has not been a straight path or an easy one. For her or for me. I fumble and fall - A LOT!!
I do not want to discourage anyone, or keep them from asking questions here. I very much would like you to reconsider leaving CB. You and your dd have such a long road ahead - it is good to have a place outside of your gym to have perspective on this sport. Your dd, as I said is very gifted and seems to be very intense. She is blessed with talent and focus - you are blessed with a wonderfully talented dd. Be thankful for that - but do not expect everyone else to be thankful as well. See, there I go being harsh again. It is years of experience. Years of hard, hard work - and heartbreak. Years of my own dd being grateful and thrilled with 8th place because she actually got a medal. It is 3 years at level 6 before moving to level 8. If you leave now you miss out on a lot of parents with years and years of experience in this sport. I am not saying you NEED us, you don't. But you are selling this sight short by leaving so soon, I enjoy reading other points of view, of gaining new perspectives, of challenging my perspectives, and gaining new knowledge.
I know I am not the poster that always says - your right, or congratulations. Even in my everyday life I challenge people. I want them to look at the other perspective, the other point of view. I challenge myself to see things that way. When someone congratulates me one my dd's success - I usually answer that all I do is pay the bill, my dd does all the hard work!! I also always say something good about their child because every small success in this sport counts. I know! My child has struggled to get where she is - I make no apologies for that. She has been through he** and back. More than once.
I'm not trying to "put you in your place," but I am trying to get you to see the other point of view.
I know I come off badly here. I'm sorry. I do want every gymnast to be as successful as they can be - it is a different place for all of them. The best we can do is to win and to lose with grace - and to always but others success before our own or our child's!!
Actually, I have to disagree. This group is probably one of the most welcoming, mild mannered, level headed and unbiased groups on the Internet. If you don't believe me, try some of the popular others of other interests -- especially those consists of predominately men.
gymjourneymom
Proud Parent
gymjoy-- I thank you for a very heart felt post! I feel like those of us who have been around this sport for a while longer have a much different perspective of things. I wish I could talk to these "newer" parents like they were my younger sister or something like that. Try to impart on them what we've seen or seen our DD's endure, etc. without sounding condesending. Mostly I'd to help them avoid some pit falls or heartaches. Or even just give them an understanding ear to vent into. I'm a nurse...I love to help people, it's in my nature to nurture.
My point for some of the "newbies" is...some of us on here were in your shoes. Maybe our DD's were amazing at L4, L5, whatever level. What I would like to say is "enjoy your DD & enjoy the ride or journey". No one knows where it will lead. My DD was the "star" of L4 & L5 states AA champ. Then fear hit. No signs, no cause...she was never a fearful child. Believe me when I say no one thought the state AA wouldn't advance to the next level. It was the "talk" of our gym, quite juicy gossip at the time. All of the tongues were wagging! She was awesome(still is)! But she has struggled with fear ever since. She gets over one fear, only to have another. But she has stuck with this sport & been state champ 3 more times!!! Overcoming severe fears to go on & win. Yes, you bet I'm proud of her!!! But mostly for what a strong determine young lady she has become...not for how much she wins. Heck her HC coach has NEVER congratulated her on any of her state champ wins! Does that stop here??? No.
The winning will be gone at some point...it will. There will be bumps along this journey for all of our DD's; injuries, fears, tougher skills, etc. But it's our DD's LOVE of the sport that keeps them going. Going back to that gym night after night. Especially once they are teenagers & their school friends are off doing other fun things. Their own will & determination...not how many people congratulate them on a win or even how many wins they get.
It's a way of thinking that only the gymmie has control of. No one can make her feel this way. My suggestion would be to have her look inward...ask her how she feels about her wins. THAT is what matters...not how others feel about it. See what I'm trying to say? If a gymmie is only motivated by bringing home the bling & getting praise for it. That is setting her up for future stress & pressure. Let me tell you stress & pressure are a gymnasts worst enemy!!! She has to feel proud of her skills & success to really stick with this for the long haul. You can help her to develop this this thought process by planting the right seeds...asking her the right questions. Help her be proud of herself...that's the key!!!JMHO.
. My point for some of the "newbies" is...some of us on here were in your shoes. Maybe our DD's were amazing at L4, L5, whatever level. What I would like to say is "enjoy your DD & enjoy the ride or journey". No one knows where it will lead. My DD was the "star" of L4 & L5 states AA champ. Then fear hit. No signs, no cause...she was never a fearful child. Believe me when I say no one thought the state AA wouldn't advance to the next level. It was the "talk" of our gym, quite juicy gossip at the time. All of the tongues were wagging! She was awesome(still is
)! But she has struggled with fear ever since. She gets over one fear, only to have another. But she has stuck with this sport & been state champ 3 more times!!! Overcoming severe fears to go on & win. Yes, you bet I'm proud of her!!! But mostly for what a strong determine young lady she has become...not for how much she wins. Heck her HC coach has NEVER congratulated her on any of her state champ wins! Does that stop here??? No.The winning will be gone at some point...it will. There will be bumps along this journey for all of our DD's; injuries, fears, tougher skills, etc. But it's our DD's LOVE of the sport that keeps them going. Going back to that gym night after night. Especially once they are teenagers & their school friends are off doing other fun things. Their own will & determination...not how many people congratulate them on a win or even how many wins they get.
It's a way of thinking that only the gymmie has control of. No one can make her feel this way. My suggestion would be to have her look inward...ask her how she feels about her wins. THAT is what matters...not how others feel about it. See what I'm trying to say? If a gymmie is only motivated by bringing home the bling & getting praise for it. That is setting her up for future stress & pressure. Let me tell you stress & pressure are a gymnasts worst enemy!!! She has to feel proud of her skills & success to really stick with this for the long haul. You can help her to develop this this thought process by planting the right seeds...asking her the right questions. Help her be proud of herself...that's the key!!!JMHO
.
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G
gymnut1
Please stick around - I love sophia's videos. She is a beautiful gymnast. I'm sorry you have found us unsupportive. I know that many posters here have been in your position in level 4 and 5. They have experience and knowledge to share. It is a long long road into higher optionals.
I personally think that her teammates should be thrilled with her success no matter how many times she wins, like they should be thrilled with every team mates success each time (be that getting their mill circle round or coming first). It is hard for children not to be jealous sometimes. And I think her coaches should be the same. I hope her coaches are 'wowed' by her (and her team mates) success each time because they (like our experienced posters who have been here before) know that it doesn't last for ever. Every gymmie hits a dip somewhere - fear, injury, coaching problems, money. If you have a legitimate issue to discuss I feel it is her coaches lack of excitement in her success. She is only 6 - she deserves their open support and congratulation.
She is a super super little gymnast - I hope she has a fab end to the season - enjoy! and congratulations to her!
I personally think that her teammates should be thrilled with her success no matter how many times she wins, like they should be thrilled with every team mates success each time (be that getting their mill circle round or coming first). It is hard for children not to be jealous sometimes. And I think her coaches should be the same. I hope her coaches are 'wowed' by her (and her team mates) success each time because they (like our experienced posters who have been here before) know that it doesn't last for ever. Every gymmie hits a dip somewhere - fear, injury, coaching problems, money. If you have a legitimate issue to discuss I feel it is her coaches lack of excitement in her success. She is only 6 - she deserves their open support and congratulation.
She is a super super little gymnast - I hope she has a fab end to the season - enjoy! and congratulations to her!
I also would like for you to reconsider your decision. I tend to be a bit opinionated and blunt in my responses only because I have been through a lot with my dd and I have seen so much. My dd started out in competitive cheer when she was 6 and continued for 3 years. Her last year was at a very top competitive gym that is one of the best in the nation. The environment was extremely competitive (and you thought gymnastics was brutal--cheer can be 10 times more competitive) and the stress and pressure got to me and my dd. It was overwhelming. We both needed a break so we switched to gym so that she could step back and go more at her own pace and not be so rushed. I have seen first hand what pressure and fear can do to her and I would hate to have anyone else go through it.
Gymnastics is a LONG road with many twists, turns, bumps, detours as well as nice easy stretches along the way. The real key is to enjoy every minute of it. It can be very challenging getting through the difficult times but we must push through as gymnasts and parents. If you decide to leave the CB now, you are kind of saying to your dd, to quit (the CB) because of what others are saying. When she grows up she will run into many many people who she doesn't agree with and her first reaction may be to walk away from them instead of hearing them out and maybe trying to work it out and appreciate them for their honest opinion. A lot of what we learn in gymnastics are life skills that can be transferred to school, work and family and friends. I honestly think every part of gymnastics makes the gymnast a much stronger person in the end.
Please reconsider. We are all different here and all valuable with our opinions even if we all don't agree.
Gymnastics is a LONG road with many twists, turns, bumps, detours as well as nice easy stretches along the way. The real key is to enjoy every minute of it. It can be very challenging getting through the difficult times but we must push through as gymnasts and parents. If you decide to leave the CB now, you are kind of saying to your dd, to quit (the CB) because of what others are saying. When she grows up she will run into many many people who she doesn't agree with and her first reaction may be to walk away from them instead of hearing them out and maybe trying to work it out and appreciate them for their honest opinion. A lot of what we learn in gymnastics are life skills that can be transferred to school, work and family and friends. I honestly think every part of gymnastics makes the gymnast a much stronger person in the end.
Please reconsider. We are all different here and all valuable with our opinions even if we all don't agree.
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Tumblequeensmom
Proud Parent
I just came across this post today, so I have missed everything that's transpired. I fear she may have already left since there has been no response from her. I hope not.
I can only agree with what everyone else has said here. My daughter, too, was a fantastic gymnast at Level 4 and 5. Her strength was always bars! Many first places, etc. Then came Level 6 with it's harder skills, more difficult judging, plus those nagging injuries and fears.
As everyone has said, gymnastics is a marathon, not a sprint. You can't see into the future, you can only take it day by day, week by week or season by season.
That being said, it 's not unreasonable to expect support from her coaches, teammates and other gym parents. There will always be jealousies to deal with and these are good learning lessons to teach your daughter (and ours as well) on how to handle that. It is unfortunate, but there will always be those issues in no matter what she or you choose to do.
Good luck w/everything, but please do reconsider your decision to leave these forums!
I can only agree with what everyone else has said here. My daughter, too, was a fantastic gymnast at Level 4 and 5. Her strength was always bars! Many first places, etc. Then came Level 6 with it's harder skills, more difficult judging, plus those nagging injuries and fears.
As everyone has said, gymnastics is a marathon, not a sprint. You can't see into the future, you can only take it day by day, week by week or season by season.
That being said, it 's not unreasonable to expect support from her coaches, teammates and other gym parents. There will always be jealousies to deal with and these are good learning lessons to teach your daughter (and ours as well) on how to handle that. It is unfortunate, but there will always be those issues in no matter what she or you choose to do.
Good luck w/everything, but please do reconsider your decision to leave these forums!
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