WAG Has anyone ever made their DD take a month off in the middle of the season?

[momof2gymmies]

DD is struggling with blocks big time. Started with her back tuck on floor. Is now unable to connect her robhs. Forget about a double. Has no problem with bwobhs, thank goodness, and has no problem with bwo bt dismount on beam or her bhs on beam. However she is struggling with a simple bhs on floor. Why she can do it on the beam but not floor is beyond me. She cries every day about this. Every practice it gets worse and worse. She wouldn't do a round off on tumble trac with her coach spotting her last night.

I am starting to think that she just needs to be out of the gym period. Her coaches are frustrated, she is frustrated, and I feel like it is not a good environment. Before I go all crazy and pull her, does that make sense? She has 2 meets done, 4 more to go and then states. She has already qualified for states, but at the rate she is going she won't be able to do a thing there. Would a few months break help or make it worse?

 

[Moxiegrl83]

When something very similar happened to my DD, everyone backing off and giving her space seemed to help the most. The thought of having to quit gym, or "take a break" would have probably thrown her into hysterics and made it worse. I didn't talk about it with her, if she brought it up I listened, told her I was sure she'd get it back, and changed the subject. It's heartbreaking, but all the frustration is probably just making it worse. How old is she? And how long has it been going on?

I believe my DDs coaches were still able to have her feel successful in the gym, even while not being able to do skills she KNEW she could do, was the key. Hang in there!!

 

[momof2gymmies]

How old is she? And how long has it been going on?

She is 11. The tuck issue started in September, and has been getting worse. She competed her tuck all last year with no problems.

 

[roll123]

What level is she? DD went through the something similar recently. She is a level 7 and the ability to change her routines was a godsend. We just ignored the blocked moves and in time they came back

 

[momof2gymmies]

She is a silver. She could be competing gold but her gym requires two years at each level, no matter what. Her current floor routine is robhsbt. It changed to a robhsbhs. Not sure what she can do if she can't do a ro. Her beam routine has a bwo bt dismount. I am guessing that is going to be the next problem, since she can't exactly lose anything else on floor. The round off has me baffled. How in the name of everything does a kid lose a ro? She is so frustrated. She thinks her coaches are mad at her since they told her she was ridiculous the other night. She says she wants to quit gym till she can try out at a new gym, although she will never make a new team at this point if she can not tumble.

 

[Deleted member 17723]

Glad to hear that you aren't pushing her like crazy, doing private lessons, etc. IMHO, a month out of the gym might not solve the problem? Does she still enjoy gymnastics?

She isn't crazy for being okay with BHS on beam but not floor. For a few weeks, in order to get me to go on floor I HAD to do one on a beam first. Really wierd, but it helped me.

Is she xcel silver? If so, there are a lot of other passes that can fulfill the requirement.

 

[NH~GymMom]

I haven't forced DD to take a whole month off, but I have conveniently scheduled other activities so that she had to miss practice for a week or a few nights. Like a previous poster said, i was worried that a forced break might cause her even more stress/worry, but I did think some time out of the gym would help her. The biggest thing was reminding her that meets are optional and if she wasn't feeling ready she didn't have to compete. Her coaches were understanding and would have let her scratch whatever she wasn't able to do so that helped as well. We ended up skipping one meet and then she started to get back into the swing.. it was 7 or so weeks without worrying about a meet in a row and it really helped.

Remove as much worry and pressure as you can. I've read here a bunch that it's like an injury and time off is not a bad thing, just try to do it in a way that lets her know she is in control and everyone will be there to support her when she wants/needs it.

 

[momof2gymmies]

She is xcel silver. Silvers at her gym must do a tuck. She competed it all last year. She couldn't move down since she competed silver last year. She was told up until the day before her last meet that she was scratching floor if she didn't do it. Her coaches relented at the last minute and let her sub in robhsbhs. But they are not going to back down further than that. I know that based on other kids I have seen, and the comments that have been made to her.

She LOVES gymnastics. Up until this issue she was asking for more time in the gym. She was constantly outside flipping around.

And, I made the mistake of pushing her when it first started, along with her coaches and made it worse. I have not talked to her about in in a few months but she comes out of gym every time they have floor crying because she is so upset. Loves gym the nights that she doesn't have to go to floor.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

I think that a meeting with her coaches may be in order. They are going to have to back off and stop putting so much pressure on her, before they make things even worse. It's good to hear that you have backed off of her, but the coaches calling her ridiculous in practice is uncalled for. She is having mental blocks, all gymnasts go through it, and it seems like the more pressure they put on her, the more blocks she is putting up. If you have to go to the HC, gym owner, etc, whatever you have to do, it is important that they treat this as an injury and let it heal. Have her scratch the next few meets if need be and if she does continue to go to practice, there should be no pressure, or even any mention of her throwing the skills that she is struggling with. She will be the one to step up and do it when she is ready and no amount of pressure from her coaches or anyone else will make it happen any faster.

I've seen some of your prior posts and I don't really agree with your gyms philosophy of having to compete tucks and other more advanced skills in silver. It defeats the whole purpose of the Xcel program, which is supposed to allow each girl to remain in the sport and compete to her own strengths, not be forced to compete a certain skill or routine they are having trouble with like compulsories. That combined with the fact that they are putting this ridiculous amount of pressure on her, and I think your dd's idea of looking for a new gym may not be a bad one.

My dd lost her BHS for an entire year at her old gym. A bully on her team would make comments about how her BHS were sloppy, she would break her neck if she kept doing them like that etc, and it scared her to death. I did all the wrong things, pressured her, put her in private lessons, etc. We ended up switching gyms after that meet season and she threw her BHS in her VERY first practice at the new gym. Sometimes a whole new environment is what they need. And if your gym isn't willing to work with her after you have a talk with them and take ALL of the pressure off of her, that may be what it takes.

 

[NutterButter]

Gosh, your gym has such rigid requirements for a very un-rigid program. They also sound very inexperienced in dealing with kids and blocks. I am really sorry your DD is going through this. The sad part is that much of her angst could be avoided. There are so many other things she could compete as a silver. I would say that having her take a break sends the wrong message to your DD and may have ramifications down the road but in your case I wonder if a gym change would be in her best interest. Instead of having her take a break I would be looking into a gym with a more flexible approach to Xcel. I think other gyms would be open minded to accepting a kid like your DD. Especially for Xcel.

 

[Sasha]

I agree with people that say part of the problem may be your gym & coaches' approach to Xcel. The pressure and threats of scratching an event when the Silver requirements could be met with other skills just seems way too intense for the spirit of Xcel. Calling a child 'ridiculous' for having blocks is surely also making it worse.

The purpose of Xcel is to be flexible with skills and events, and permit children to enjoy competing in gymnastics despite deficiencies. Your coaches seem to be doing the opposite of this.

I'm very sorry your daughter is struggling. I would be looking into another Xcel program and assuring your daughter than no matter how hard it feels right now, there are ways to get back to her skills if she loves gymnastics, and you will help her find the best environment available.

I think it is very telling that your daughter says she wants to continue gym, but just doesn't want to stay where she is. That sounds very clear from an 11 year old.

 

[motigymnasticsmom]

momof2gymmies, I was reading just your post and your dd being a silver and the gym demanding that they do tucks is a little bit much. Yes, you might want to let her take a month off from gym and look around for a less pressure gym. Sounds like coaches/gym are putting too much pressure on her. She is silver, with the tucks, she could even do gold, you never know until you try.

 

[NutterButter]

I think it is very telling that your daughter says she wants to continue gym, but just doesn't want to stay where she is. That sounds very clear from an 11 year old.

This.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

As a coach who helps out with our Xcel team, I can tell you with 100%certainty that not a single one of our Xcel silvers can do a BT on floor. That sounds like a really ridiculous standard, and not in the spirit of the program.
I sincerely hope your DD gets past her blocks soon. I don't know if taking her out of the gym altogether is the answer, but it does seem as if your gyms approach to Xcel isn't helping her either....

 

[Aussie_coach]

Taking time off actually makes the blocks worse in most cases. A lot of the time, when a kid is prone to mental blocks they get it after a holiday or after a break from training for another reason.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Daughter did Silver last year, no tucks and didn't see any tucks competed.
And Xcel is just not supposed to be high pressure.

I do like NH gym moms idea. Of some conveniently scheduled (during gym time) to get her a couple days off.

Really I think she needs a new gym.

 

[Deleted member 17723]

Based on that information, I think you should either 1. Have a meeting with the coaches. A tuck is not necessary at Silver. I don't think Ive ever seen one. There are ways to work around this (front tumbling, cartwheel cartwheel I think, aerial, etc). If the coaches have this philosophy of xcel, it leads me to option 2.... Search for a new, less intense gym. A tuck in xcel silver sounds insane to me. Gold, sure, I see them all the time. But silver... Sounds very intense for an xcel program. Maybe look for something less intense.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Take a break from the skills that are blocked but not gym.

 

[eucoach]

I have a gymnast who has been going throught major blocks ever since she started gymnastics. First there was the bwo on beam at 9-10 years old. Then it was the RO-BHS-BHS at 10-11 (RO-BHS was always fine though). Then it was the RO-BHS-BT at 11-12. Right now, (she's 13) she is on the upswing from a BHS block on the beam (she was up on the medium beam before, wouldn't do it on the low beam with mats at the same height anymore for a while). Also, she's starting to have issues with doing any back salto from a snap down (RO-BHS-back saltos are fine though). The only thing that works is to leave her alone, stop doing the skill(s) which give her problems completely for a while (2+ weeks) and give her something else to work on. I had her compete two RO-BHS in her floor routine when she was 10. She had all the skills when we decided to move her up and lost them right before season. As a coach, it's really frustrating but with blocks it's pointless to push it. The calmer you stay, the more you act like it's not a big deal, the faster the gymnast will get the skill back. I don't think it's ok for the coach to push someone who is obviously suffering from a block. Those kids already feel worthless and like a failure for not being able to do something they know they should be capable to do.

My advice: Go to the coach and ask him to not work on the problem skills for a certain amount of time. I think your kid needs to be able to go to class not having to worry about having to do a skill she's scared of for a while. She needs to develop the desire to do it without any pressure from the coach or any punishment.

 

[2G1B]

I'd look for a different gym. The "2 years at every level" is absurd, the requirement for tucks in silver is ridiculous, and the coaches don't seem to know how to handle things when there are blocks.