WAG Hey, I need some advice.

[gothgymmom]

Hello everyone. I need some advice on something I am not sure what to do about. Heres the situation that happened last night at practice :

Lvl 3 vault stations. One coach at the vault itself, other coach on floor with mat. DD started out doing the stuff on the floor. I am watching the other girls at the vault and they were running and doing straight jumps off the springboard and the coach kinda caught them (cant explain but im sure you all know what im talking about). After they did that they would get on the vault and do the leg lift thingies while on their tummies and arching their back (sorry i really dont know what those are called), coach at vault not watching, but coach on floor keeping an eye on them and doing corrections if need be. DD's turn to do the straight jump. Since she was doing other stations, she wasnt paying attention nor was told what to do, so she just runs and stops at springboard. Coach at vault yells at her and tells her what she is supposed to be doing. DD goes to do it, and that coach moves behind the vault and instead watches the girls doing the leg lifts. Doesnt "catch" DD or her partner like she did the rest of the girls.

 

[myliljunebugs]

So are you upset that the coach wasn't spotting your DD or that she was yelled at? I don't think my L3 DD has ever been spotted on straight jumps on the vault (they are doing those on the vault table now, as part of uptraining), so I guess I don't see why she would need it? I can understand needing a spot if she was actually learning her full vault on the table for the first time, but a straight jump is pretty simple. Maybe they didn't spot because they felt her capabilities didn't call for it?

 

[mommyof1]

Two caveats to my response:

1. I am assuming that this is an isolated incident.
2. I mean all of this in the nicest way and am not trying to criticize you for worrying about what you observed. Really.

Perhaps this is a sign that you would be happier not watching practice. I HATE watching practice. It is just too easy to get sucked into analyzing every little thing that goes on, tallying who gets how much attention from which coach, worrying about why XYZ skill looks uglier than it did two weeks ago, comparing your child to others, etc. etc. I am a much happier and more relaxed gym mommy when all I do is drop off, pick up, buy lots of sparkly leotards, and watch as little as possible.

 

[gothgymmom]

So are you upset that the coach wasn't spotting your DD or that she was yelled at? I don't think my L3 DD has ever been spotted on straight jumps on the vault (they are doing those on the vault table now, as part of uptraining), so I guess I don't see why she would need it? I can understand needing a spot if she was actually learning her full vault on the table for the first time, but a straight jump is pretty simple. Maybe they didn't spot because they felt her capabilities didn't call for it?

I guess im more upset in the fact that the coach moved when my DD was up, and then moved back after she was done with the straight jump to spot the rest of the girls, and away from my DD doing her leg lifts. It was almost like she was avoiding coaching her if you could see where im coming from. She "caught" every other single girl on the team except for my DD and her partner, and my DD is not the best nor is she the worst. DD does sometimes need to have tough love, but avoiding is just ignorant.

 

[cbifoja]

Honestly, I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. In the grand scheme of things, that one rotation just is NOT a big deal.

 

[gothgymmom]

Two caveats to my response:

1. I am assuming that this is an isolated incident.
2. I mean all of this in the nicest way and am not trying to criticize you for worrying about what you observed. Really.

Perhaps this is a sign that you would be happier not watching practice. I HATE watching practice. It is just too easy to get sucked into analyzing every little thing that goes on, tallying who gets how much attention from which coach, worrying about why XYZ skill looks uglier than it did two weeks ago, comparing your child to others, etc. etc. I am a much happier and more relaxed gym mommy when all I do is drop off, pick up, buy lots of sparkly leotards, and watch as little as possible.

Honestly, with work I dont get to watch practice all that much. This was the first time I have been to a practice in over a month. I actually like watching everyone in the gym, not just my DD. I especially love our Lvl 9's floor routine. Sometimes I dont even watch and just play a game on my phone, or read.

 

[myliljunebugs]

It is highly unlikely the coach was avoiding your daughter, most likely she just felt a need to be helping the girls that were at the other station for a moment, maybe because they were doing it wrong and needed the correction. I can't imagine that she was specifically avoiding spotting your child. JMO.

 

[gothgymmom]

Honestly, I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. In the grand scheme of things, that one rotation just is NOT a big deal.

Its not just this one time. I have stated in my OP that this coach has been treating my DD this same way since DD started at the gym. I told HC about it and it went away for a while, and now this happened, I am unsure on whether that it is starting back up again or if it might just be a fluke.

 

[cbifoja]

Oh sorry. I wasn't using critical reading skills.

 

[myliljunebugs]

Its not just this one time. I have stated in my OP that this coach has been treating my DD this same way since DD started at the gym. I told HC about it and it went away for a while, and now this happened, I am unsure on whether that it is starting back up again or if it might just be a fluke.

I missed that part also. If you feel that it might be part of a bigger issue, then maybe you should stay and watch more often to see if it is happening again.

 

[sce]

First, were instructions given at the beginning about what to do at each station? This is how my dd's coach does it, so the girls should know what to do. Also, if they don't they should ask before they start running. Also it's pretty typical to start with straight jumps at the beginning of vault. I'd truly surprised of your dd did not know to do a straight jump.

As for the coach not watching/ spotting. 1) I too am surprised she was spotting anyone on the straight jump. 2) Did your dd do more turns at that station, later? Was the coach any more attentive on subsequent turns? 3) Did your dd say anything about how the coached yelled or treated her?

 

[cbifoja]

Its not just this one time. I have stated in my OP that this coach has been treating my DD this same way since DD started at the gym. I told HC about it and it went away for a while, and now this happened, I am unsure on whether that it is starting back up again or if it might just be a fluke.

Okay, I'm very confused. I re-read your posts and I'm not seeing where you mentioned this being a pattern. Can you explain more?

I understand what it feels like to wonder if your child is being ignored. There is a coach at our gym who dislikes my daughter. I remember watching one night when she pulled each girl off vault rotation to spend 10 minutes fine tuning their floor routines. She is an awesome dancer so this is a wonderful thing for the girls to experience. She never pulled my daughter. The HC had to leave vault rotation and work with my daughter. And while that was nice, it wasn't the same as working with the great dancing coach. HC is good but other coach is better in that area. And HC kept having to stop to go back and spot vaults. All because this coach doesn't like to work with my daughter.

So I do get it. I'm just not sure of your situation because from what I read, I was under the impression this was an isolated event. How long have you been feeling like this and do you have some other examples?

 

[gothgymmom]

ok. Sorry, my internet here at work has been iffy and it didnt post my whole post. I am sorry. My bad. Here is the 2nd part of the post that wasnt posted.

Seems like ever since DD started there, this coach does not like to coach my baby! Had problems with her before DD started team. Brought that up to HC and things were taken care of, and now it seems like things are starting back up. Should I bring this up to HC as it seems like she does not like coaching my DD, and it seems like to me she has her favorites on the team ( im not blind and definitely not stupid lol) and its not my DD. I dont want to start problems, and I dont want to be seen as a CGM, but I dont think this behavior is appropriate for the coaches to behave like. Or am I just stressing over nothing?

There really isnt a choice in gyms around the area, just one other one and as I like to put it, its the rich b***h gym as where the one we go to now is the middle class one (price range only). and both gyms are rivals anyway although I have no idea why. Im just so confused and I dont know what to do here. Please help.

 

[myliljunebugs]

Is this coach going to be her coach all the way through? Or will she have a different coach next year (assuming she moves up)? If she is going to have to stay with this coach for years to come I would watch some more practices to see if this is actually the same issue coming up again, or an isolated instance.

 

[gothgymmom]

First, were instructions given at the beginning about what to do at each station? This is how my dd's coach does it, so the girls should know what to do. Also, if they don't they should ask before they start running. Also it's pretty typical to start with straight jumps at the beginning of vault. I'd truly surprised of your dd did not know to do a straight jump.

As for the coach not watching/ spotting. 1) I too am surprised she was spotting anyone on the straight jump. 2) Did your dd do more turns at that station, later? Was the coach any more attentive on subsequent turns? 3) Did your dd say anything about how the coached yelled or treated her?

They did not do actual vaults to begin with. There were 5 different stations. DD was at the very last station first. the straight jumps were second to the last rotation. The might have given instructions, but after almost 4 years they should know my DD does not have the best of memories ( i know not the coaches fault but thought i would throw that in there). DD did not have any more turns at all at any time. She did not say anything to me about her yelling or treating her different, the only thing she said is when they all finally did the front handspring vault at the end, the way said coach "helped her over" hurt her stomach. ( I have watched DD do this before with no spot and land perfectly so Im not sure why they had to spot lastnight)

 

[gothgymmom]

Is this coach going to be her coach all the way through? Or will she have a different coach next year (assuming she moves up)? If she is going to have to stay with this coach for years to come I would watch some more practices to see if this is actually the same issue coming up again, or an isolated instance.

Different coaches I think. I hope anyway. Thankfully said coach doesnt go to the meets lol.

 

[myliljunebugs]

If she will change coaches next year unless the coach is actually harming her (which it doesn't sound like it here IMO) I would just keep an eye on things and let it go unless otherwise necessary.

 

[gothgymmom]

k. I will. thanks. and again sorry for the mixup earlier with my whole post not getting posted.

 

[sce]

They did not do actual vaults to begin with. There were 5 different stations. DD was at the very last station first. the straight jumps were second to the last rotation. The might have given instructions, but after almost 4 years they should know my DD does not have the best of memories ( i know not the coaches fault but thought i would throw that in there). DD did not have any more turns at all at any time. She did not say anything to me about her yelling or treating her different, the only thing she said is when they all finally did the front handspring vault at the end, the way said coach "helped her over" hurt her stomach. ( I have watched DD do this before with no spot and land perfectly so Im not sure why they had to spot lastnight)

I guess they rotate different than my daughter's gym. They too have stations but they are constantly moving around. So they would go to each station multiple times in one vault rotation.

 

[gymdog]

There's a couple of options:

1. The coach did it on purpose just to sabotage your DD with no reason

2. The instructions were given and are frequently the same (I.e. They've done this circuit before) and your DD always stops at some part of it without knowing what to do. The coach has become frustrated and tells her if she wastes time she will not be able to do that station.

3. Your daughter has complained about spotting hurting her. That may have been why your daughter stopped and then told the coach that when the coach yelled at her. The coach is afraid or feels like she can't spot her for liability reasons after being told that.

4. Your daughter can already do it without spot so would never get a spot at that station no matter what she did.

5. The coach was distracted by another child doing something imminently more dangerous or wrong and had to intervene, knew your DD could manage by herself after being instructed in what to do.

2-5 are all things coaches have to manage and work through, so if it's one of these, then make sure your approach to being involved in this in any way is an approach to support and facilitate that.

1 would obviously be trickier, but seems the least likely because team is a privilege and if she had that much of an issue with your daughter, she probably would have found some way to not let her continue with this group by now. The fact that she hasn't tells me she likely wants to see your daughter progress, but may be frustrated or unsure of how to work around some issues like not remembering what to do frequently.

Rather than speculating I would follow up with the coach saying you observed this and know the coach had a reason, but you don't get a lot of chance to observe and were wondering what the reason was. Also, is there anything the coach would like you to do or know about DD's progress or performance in practice. Then, be ready to listen to what the coach has to say, and absorb it.