WAG How to deal with naughty kids

[aerialriver]

As coaches we like to know if the kid has ADHD or something of the like. Not to treat the kid differently, not to make fun of him/her or tell the other kids but so that we can come up with you ways to help them succeed. Nothing is more frustrating that having a child misbehave or do things out of the norm for his/her age (7 year old throwing a tantrum on the floor) and wondering what is wrong with this kid? Do her parents even care? And now what am I supposed to do I have 8 other kids in this class. It makes you feel completely helpless. I can understand if your kid does respond to the methods I would use with any other kid but what happens when they don't? And you don't tell me what does work?

 

[CoachGoofy]

I have a special ed background. I can probably tell if your kid is on the autism spectrum or has ADHD or what have you (seriously lots of experience).

But if parents don't tell me I don't know if they know! And that causes all sorts of problems because I'm certainly not the person who should be all "soooo have you heard of Aspergers?". Or if I'm interacting differently with a kid I know perfectly well is neurodivergent than with the others in the class because it's what works (and I do take every kid's quirks into account, not just the ones with diagnosable ones)? Yeah that's awkward. I'm not going to out anyone's kid but it makes my life a lot easier if I know. Or if there are strategies families are using? Consistency is best but I cannot be consistent accross THIS environment if I don't know!

And people less immersed in the world of neurological differences than I? They're going to label kids with difficulties anyway. But "Autistic" or "ADHD" is far better than "brat who must have own way" now isn't it?

(not telling me is, like, my biggest pet peeve).

 

[iwannacoach]

I'm completely in favor of disclosure because it gives the adult, you need to trust, the information they need to reconcile your child's behavior. I'd much rather have an instructor "get it wrong" with the right information, than to get it wrong with no information whatsoever. At least it gives the instructor a chance to get it right. My opinion, based on my parenting experience raising one child who is adhd with a hint of Aspergers and another child who is adhd with a screaming hint of Autism, is that people who treat them differently are trying, and those who react badly won't get it right anyway and will react as if the kid wants to cause a problem........ Really, the good people will do better because they'll use the information, and the bad people will continue to care only that a child "fits" in their well defined box.

I also feel that telling teachers and instructors about my child's difficulty makes the statement that their disorders are normal and need to be treated as they'd treat any other child who has a problem they wish they didn't have. I do this as calmly as I'd describe the weather, and I do it, as often as possible, when my child is present and can hear there's no blame being placed on them for their quirks, and no expectation that the teacher perform miracles other than to accept that "we're all in this together."

Really, it's no picnic for anyone involved, but especially for the child who has a challenge, plus the burden of getting people to relate to their challenge the same way they'd relate to a child confined to a wheel chair...... by immediately recognizing the challenge and doing what any compassionate person would do, help as best they can.

 

[gymgurl]

I completely agree with disclosure - I got an email from a parent telling me her child had an auditory processing disorder and that's why he's mucking up because he can't process what is said in a loud environment and doesn't know what he should be doing. I have been coaching this kid for 6months without a clue and just thought he was a naughty kid. So I'm happy to work with him and figure out the best way about doing things with him but if I don't know I can't tell and I can't work with them appropriately