Parents How to juggle gym/school/life-and keep kids sane???

[Amusibus]

Hi parents. I have a 6 year old pre-teamer who is in first grade at a regular school, does gymnastics 3 hours 3 times a week (on school days), and dance one day a week, also on a school day. The first month she has done great but I am starting to get complaints-about school being so long, about not wanting to go to dance and gym. She likes these activities, gymnastics especially, and does well in them, comes out happy, no tears, but I think the tight schedule is just getting to her. What do other parents do to help your kids with this? I would hate to pull her our of activities she loves, in which she is thriving, just feeling the crunch of a tight schedule at only 6 years old.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

take a day off from both activities when she wants. she's 6. explain to her that she can't take off all the time because it's not good for development in either activity if those are 2 things she really wants to do. and don't ask for the practices to be prorated when you give her that day off fro time to time. it's part of the process.

 

[Natasha]

3 hour practices 3x a week on top of school is a lot for a 1st grader. If she is not wanting to go, I would definitely recommend giving her a break, or even consider cutting down to 2 days a week or 2 hour practices. Even if she is an extremely talented gymnast, if she burns out in first grade on pre-team, she will never get to realize the full potential of that talent.

 

[BRB]

take a day off from both activities when she wants. she's 6. explain to her that she can't take off all the time because it's not good for development in either activity if those are 2 things she really wants to do.

I totally agree. She is only 6; if it is a day that she is tired, don't sweat letting her miss a day here and there to rest.

 

[lhmom]

I agree with relaxing things a bit. DD joined team when she was 6 (9 1/2 hrs a week). I made sure that she had her homework done before getting into gym. Then when she got home, it was a quick dinner and shower and into bed on time so she was getting plenty of rest. On the days she did not have gym, I made sure that she had plenty of "down time" to play and relax. I am a bit surprised that pre-team is that many hours. DD's pre-team was 2 days a week, 3 hours total. Do you think they might be flexible with decreasing her hours if needed?

 

[shelovestoflip]

Hi parents. I have a 6 year old pre-teamer who is in first grade at a regular school, does gymnastics 3 hours 3 times a week (on school days), and dance one day a week, also on a school day. The first month she has done great but I am starting to get complaints-about school being so long, about not wanting to go to dance and gym. She likes these activities, gymnastics especially, and does well in them, comes out happy, no tears, but I think the tight schedule is just getting to her. What do other parents do to help your kids with this? I would hate to pull her our of activities she loves, in which she is thriving, just feeling the crunch of a tight schedule at only 6 years old.

That is a lot of time for pre team, I think. Plus another day out of the house for dance. So she has only one day during the week to 'chill' at home.

If your gym is flexible, perhaps only 2 days a week? Or maybe cut out dance for now?

I'm a teacher and have 3 girls in my class on preteam/level 3. Honestly, they seem tired to me. It's only October....too early to burn out.

If it were my daughter, I'd have her skip a gym day or give up dance for now. If she were in my class and you asked me, I"d tell you the same thing.

She needs time at home to play with her toys and just chill.

 

[GymBee97]

It's all part of gymnastics that the kids have to get use to and figure out how they can juggle everything. This is one of the reasons alot of gymnasts leave after L5 as the time commitment gets longer. This girls are amazing and I don't know how they do it but they do. At L4 my DD did 12 hours a week and at L5 did 15 hours a week and regular school. It took her through both those levels to get the time management together with the school work. One of the things that helped was me picking her up from school. I could pick her up at 2:30 and be home before 3pm so she had about an hour to get dressed, have a snack, relax a bit before we had to head out the door. If there was homework that needed to get done then she had to finish that before we went anywhere. She did miss some practices from that (and still does).

She is now L8 and is at the gym 20 (3 days during the week and Sunday). She is in High School and somehow with a full course load gets all her homework done at school in the study she has last period (once in a while she doesn't but it is usually because its a project she has to build) She is a straight A student - High Honors. Has time to do this, be in scouts and socialize with friends. AS they get use to the schedule they figure it out. You will know by the end of L4 or L5 if she is willing to make the commitment she needs to continue.

Don't be afraid to let her stay home once in a while if you think she needs a break from any of them its just gymnastics and dance. In the big scheme of things a few days off here and there won't make a difference.

 

[MaryA]

Welcome to the wonderful world of gymnastics. In 8 years, if she sticks with it, you'll be posting here asking how your daughter will manage juggling high school and gymnastics. I'm still trying to figure out the juggling aspect of this and it's my daughter's 6th year of competing. The girls that do stick with it become masters of time management. Hopefully that's a skill that will last them their whole lives. We, as parents, have to become masters of communication. Communicating with the coaches (what are their feelings about your daugther arriving late or leaving early? Is that disruptive? Let them know your concerns and make sure they know if and why your daughter is missing practice.), communicating with teachers (shelovestoflip... if you were my daughter's teacher, I would want to know that she seemed tired in class), and communicating with your daughter and knowing when she really needs a break.

Good luck! You are not alone!

 

[Aussie_coach]

Being tired and not wanting to go is not always a sign that she is doing too much (although that may be the the case). The most common cause of being tired or drained in kids is actually dehydration. Watch how much water she drinks, make sure she is drinking water regularly throughout the day as well as lots before, during and after training. You want to make sure water is the drink she has most of the time too.

look into her diet too, she is doing a lot more exercise and physically draining activity than an average 6 year old so she will need a very different diet to an average 6 year old. It may even be worth a visit to a dietician. And of course is she getti g enough sleep. An average 6 year old needs 11-12 hours. With 10 hours of gymnastics and dance she may need more.

another cause for the strain can be if she is struggling somewhere. If she is having problems at school she will need to use a lot more energy than average to get through the day to cope with the stress, a chat to her teacher may not go astray to see how she is coping.

if none of these is the case then she may be over doing it, so much depends on the individual child. Some kids can do gymnastics every day for hours and never get tired, while others are drained on 2 days a week. When you hear other parents talk about the really high hours their kids do, they are often those unique kids who thrive on excessive amounts of exercise, often going crazy if they don't work out everyday. That may not be the case for your child.

 

[thefellowsmom]

Like others said, welcome to the wonderful world of gymnastics You are not alone. We all deal with these issues.

The fellows has always required a lot of sleep, is one of those kids who would live at the gym and doesn't want to do anything else, and is also pretty slow and deliberate about things. We are constantly dealing with time management issues. I am seeing HUGE improvement this year even though she is now there more hours. She started at 9 hours shortly before she turned 7 and now is at 12 hours (3 days/4hours) at age 8.

Some things that I have found helpful...

- So glad that Aussie coach brought up water and nutrition. These are sooooo important. Dehydration and improper nutrition can lead to low energy and lack of focus both of which can lead to injury so it is really important to keep up on this part of it. The Fellows takes a water bottle to school with her and according to her she drinks about three of them during the school day. I also make sure that she gets some electrolyte replenishing drink for break and after practice. I have a really good quality one that we use that is sweetened with Stevia and doesn't have any garbage in it.

- We maximize the time between school and gym with a good snack and as much homework as she can get done so that when we get home (now at 8:30 at night) that she can eat something and go straight to bed. If there is homework left to do, we try to make sure it is something that isn't too brain taxing as she has little left after a 13 hour day.

It is tough but as many of the other, more experienced, moms have said, they get really good at it if they stick with it.

 

[rsm]

If you think she's getting enough sleep, then as someone above suggested, take a look at what she eats and drinks during the day and before practice. DD's practice starts quite late at 6 pm, but I found it made an incredible difference in her energy and attitude when I started giving her a real dinner at around 4:30 instead of snacks before practice. I thought it was too early for dinner, but I noticed a difference immediately when I started this. And it also means she can just snack after practice (or eat more if she wants) and it also cuts down the time spent eating before bed. All in all, we're doing okay most weeks despite the late time.

 

[emorymom]

My kids (3rd grade) are very busy with multiple day / multiple hour commitment. I homeschool them. They start school at 9am and stay pretty busy and since we are often on the go to various day classes and practices, they have to carry some of their work with them. But they don't have to do any work after they are done with their last gymnastics / diving / whatever practice and they rarely have to be woken in the morning -- they get up between 7:00 and generally 8:30 and start work in PJs, well rested. And there's no homework due Monday fighting for weekend time. So it works.

 

[Amusibus]

Thank you all for your input. She is already on a gluten-free, dairy-free, vegetarian diet, due to food allergies and nasty stomach issues, so much better on the diet, and yes she does get enough protein. Sleep-wise, she sleeps 9:30 pm to 7:30 am usually. Homework is done in the morning every day, as after practice she is too unfocused, and school ends at3:25 and practice starts at 4. One thing I forgot to mention is she has ADHD (and asperger's syndrome), medicated, so focusing in school so long is tiring. She seems to thrive on all the exercise, but just wishes there was more time in her days to play. And being a creature of habit, if I let her miss practice sometimes because she is tired, she will ask me every time. Routine is so important to aspergers kids. So.... I will try to get her more water and sleep and improve my own time management, and hope she adjusts a bit with age and maturity. We could stop the dance lessons, but that will require a hearty argument with grandma!

 

[GymBee97]

but just wishes there was more time in her days to play.

Ok I think we have a winner. this is one of the biggies as to why kids leave this sport.

A competitive gymnast doesn't have alot of "play time" and those kids that need more social time won't last in this sport. I can't tell you how many birthday parties and friend events my DD has missed over the last 10 years because she had some gymnastic thing to do. There have been times she wanted to quit so she could do more friend things and then just as quickly as that thought came it left again. I learned that she has to miss some gym stuff once in a while to do the social friend stuff too or they will just want to leave. Some of the medical issues too will play a big part here as well. All you can do is encourage her and listen to her if she decides to not do this too.

Good Luck

 

[mommyof1]

Another strategy might be to move dance to Saturdays, if possible. My first-grader has activities three weeknights and ballet on Saturday mornings. It's hard to give up half a weekend day, and there are sometimes conflicts with other events, but it frees up one night in the middle of the week for homework and unstructured play. Four weeknights of activities would be too much for me, although my daughter would probably handle it better than I would.

 

[shelovestoflip]

Ok I think we have a winner. this is one of the biggies as to why kids leave this sport.

A competitive gymnast doesn't have alot of "play time" and those kids that need more social time won't last in this sport. I can't tell you how many birthday parties and friend events my DD has missed over the last 10 years because she had some gymnastic thing to do. There have been times she wanted to quit so she could do more friend things and then just as quickly as that thought came it left again. I learned that she has to miss some gym stuff once in a while to do the social friend stuff too or they will just want to leave. Some of the medical issues too will play a big part here as well. All you can do is encourage her and listen to her if she decides to not do this too.

Good Luck

Agree re: play....sometimes we think our kids thrive on all the classes etc but it's because we don't give them time to do 'nothing'....and if they don't have time to do 'nothing' they miss out....some quiet, downtime is good, even if they say they love the busy-ness of it all, especially when they are younger!

 

[shelovestoflip]

Welcome to the wonderful world of gymnastics. In 8 years, if she sticks with it, you'll be posting here asking how your daughter will manage juggling high school and gymnastics. I'm still trying to figure out the juggling aspect of this and it's my daughter's 6th year of competing. The girls that do stick with it become masters of time management. Hopefully that's a skill that will last them their whole lives. We, as parents, have to become masters of communication. Communicating with the coaches (what are their feelings about your daugther arriving late or leaving early? Is that disruptive? Let them know your concerns and make sure they know if and why your daughter is missing practice.), communicating with teachers (shelovestoflip... if you were my daughter's teacher, I would want to know that she seemed tired in class), and communicating with your daughter and knowing when she really needs a break.

Good luck! You are not alone!

No worries....I've communicated with all the parents...they are happy that I let them know what I observe during the day. And I think they are happy to have a teacher who understands what their children are doing!

 

[maryRS]

I've read some of the responses. My initial thought is 3 days, 3 hours during the week plus a day of dance just may be too much for her. That is 4 days/nights during the week of doing something for a young girl. Sure many kids can handle this, but I know it would have been a lot for any of mine at that age - even though they were all high energy. Every child is different, she is probably perfectly fine (i.e. no real reason why it's too much for her) but she is young. I would try to pare down at least one of her practices, if not two of them. Can she move one to a Saturday?

Hi parents. I have a 6 year old pre-teamer who is in first grade at a regular school, does gymnastics 3 hours 3 times a week (on school days), and dance one day a week, also on a school day. The first month she has done great but I am starting to get complaints-about school being so long, about not wanting to go to dance and gym. She likes these activities, gymnastics especially, and does well in them, comes out happy, no tears, but I think the tight schedule is just getting to her. What do other parents do to help your kids with this? I would hate to pull her our of activities she loves, in which she is thriving, just feeling the crunch of a tight schedule at only 6 years old.

 

[emorymom]

One thing you can *try* ... a mom I know (who eventually turned to home schooling, but she is a single working mom (sales) so she was trying to make it work) has a son VERY passionate about soccer and even at 6 and 7 was putting in a soccer schedule comparable to L4 gymnastics. State law here was that they were present if they attended ... I don't remember if it was 4 or 4.5 hours. So every day she went to pick him up on the dot at his minimum attendance time. This elementary school does not do academics after lunch -- DD's gym teammate is a 4th grade teacher and she confirmed it. So essentially what he was missing every day was PE and ?? The PE or recess or whatever was so watered down it was pointless. They weren't allowed to play with balls because *of fear of liability* -- She said they did a lot of walking around the track.

Eventually she got tired of them telling her she "couldn't do that" with her responding "of course I can, show me where I can't" and just started homeschooling.

 

[Quadqueen]

One thing you can *try* ... a mom I know (who eventually turned to home schooling, but she is a single working mom (sales) so she was trying to make it work) has a son VERY passionate about soccer and even at 6 and 7 was putting in a soccer schedule comparable to L4 gymnastics. State law here was that they were present if they attended ... I don't remember if it was 4 or 4.5 hours. So every day she went to pick him up on the dot at his minimum attendance time. This elementary school does not do academics after lunch -- DD's gym teammate is a 4th grade teacher and she confirmed it. So essentially what he was missing every day was PE and ?? The PE or recess or whatever was so watered down it was pointless. They weren't allowed to play with balls because *of fear of liability* -- She said they did a lot of walking around the track.

Eventually she got tired of them telling her she "couldn't do that" with her responding "of course I can, show me where I can't" and just started homeschooling.

sounds great, in theory, but I don't think many school districts would allow this. and homeschooling is just not an option for many people.