Parents If you could give yourself 1 piece of advice

[kandkfunk]

If the present you could go back in time and give the past you one piece of advice when your child first started their gymanstics journey, what would that advice be?

For me, I think it would be the saying I learned here on Chalkbucket that gymnastics is a marathon, not a sprint. I have recently heard complaining from preteam parents at our gym about their kids not advancing quickly enough or not being treated the same or getting the same opportunities as another child. I can see my former self in those parents and it makes me sad. I wish I would have realized sooner that this journey is my child's journey and not their friend's or teammates. Her path will be different and that is OK. Of all the girls my DD started competing with, there are only 2 of them left in the sport. It didn't matter that she wasn't moved up at the same rate as her teammates or that she scored lower than most of them for the majority of her career. After almost 13 years of gymnastics and 7 competitive years under her belt, she has now made it to a level that very few kids can claim. She will be competing level 8 this season. She may not go on to college or win any more state titles, but her accomplishments are her own and nobody can take those away from her. If I would have known just a smidgen of what I know now, I think our ride would have been a lot less bumpy.

 

[MaryA]

I probably would have/should have switched her to a different gym sooner, but really, who knows? Maybe she would have burned out or gotten hurt or who knows what. Maybe the slower start was better. But that's sometimes hard to accept in a sport that seems to be dominated by the exceptionally young.

But the advice I need to give myself at the beginning of each and every season is, "It will be OK. She will get the skills. She always does. Yes, she always waits till the last minute to get them. Yes, there's always some skill or fear that is holding her back that seems, in the moment, insurmountable. But she always gets it. And you know what? If this is the year that she doesn't, and she ends up repeating last year's level rather than moving up as she hopes, that's OK too. She will rock this level for a second year and have another entire year to figure out how to rock the next one too."

Repeat as necessary (which is frequently, especially at this time of year).

 

[Sasha]

I guess we're still in the first phases of this journey, but I would have let my DD start earlier (at 4 or 5), and start in the developmental (rather than once a week rec) track. I simply didn't know anything about gymnastics and had the incorrect notion that either you did it 1) to casually learn some cool skills that might translate to other sports someday like snowboarding or cheer, or 2) you gave up everything for a long-shot chance at the Olympics (more power to those amazing girls, but to us, that would be 'crazy').

I had no idea there was an "in-between" competitive world to enjoy to whatever extent you like, and possibly even college gym someday as a goal if your journey keeps going that way. I also thought 4 and 5 year olds were still doing those (not-so-useful-looking) Mommy&Me type classes where they play catch with foam blocks and hang from the bar (that's what playgrounds were for in my mind!). My 4 year old could ski tough blue runs and ride a mountain bike up on decent grades and bumps. I thought she was 'above' those preschool classes. I didn't realize that 4 and 5 year olds who already had some strength and coordination were actually doing 'real' gymnastics (!!) - and like a BOSS! ;-) Blew my mind.

Since I didn't think DD would likely be an Olympian (being in the 95-9th percentile for height, not one of those crazy-bendy kids, and not so naturally graceful), my own naivete held her back a little as I didn't even think to investigate opportunities we are now exploring (i.e., team). Turns out the kid does have talent, is strong and driven, and is actually learning some artistic grace (who knew). There is still plenty of time for her to have a fun and fulfilling gymnastics career, but I do recognize that my lack of knowledge is the reason she's a year or two behind her cohort, and struggling with form and flexibility more than if she had started in developmental a little younger. I think it bothers me most when she asks why she didn't start earlier (even though she begged for years). I tell her I'm sorry, mommy just didn't know kids started that early, but how proud I am of everything she's doing now. She's now on track to compete New L3 at age 8.5.

I'm sure I'll have way more compelling regrets later after some new gym mom mistakes We haven't even started competing yet. Thank goodness I learned what a 'CGM' is before then and can at least TRY not to be one!

Whoops I typed a book again..

 

[my4buffaloes]

To educate myself on what constitutes a good gym, to sit through the entire 3-4 hour practice at least every couple of months and really see what is going on, and finally to switch gyms when I first knew we needed to and not try to make it work for another year.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I my one peice of advice (well maybe a wish...if I could go back in time) would have been to have started her earlier in gymnastics. She started rec classes at the ripe old age of 8 (which at the time I thought was pretty young). Started competing right before her 9th birthday. I think the later starters do one of 2 things. Advance really fast or become fearful...my DD is the later.

 

[bogwoppit]

To have listened to my inner voice when the doctor said back pain was just a muscle issue. Five years later I finally learned the truth.

To have changed gyms when I realized that just because the coach hugs you and praises you it doesn't mean they are a great coach technically.

To have made my kids leave the gym in the gym much more than I did.

But gymnastics brought me here and I can honestly say I have met some of the most amazing people here over the years. Some of them I would trust with anything. That is priceless.

 

[LizzieLac]

I my one peice of advice (well maybe a wish...if I could go back in time) would have been to have started her earlier in gymnastics. She started rec classes at the ripe old age of 8 (which at the time I thought was pretty young). Started competing right before her 9th birthday. I think the later starters do one of 2 things. Advance really fast or become fearful...my DD is the later.

Ditto! I wish I started DD earlier at a gym with a team...

 

[Empowered]

I would have used the jedi mind trick to convince my daughter she really, really liked the inexpensive sport of soccer ;o)

 

[Natalia]

Take care of the kid,the gymnast will take care of herself

 

[raenndrops]

If the present you could go back in time and give the past you one piece of advice when your child first started their gymanstics journey, what would that advice be?

For me, I think it would be the saying I learned here on Chalkbucket that gymnastics is a marathon, not a sprint. I have recently heard complaining from preteam parents at our gym about their kids not advancing quickly enough or not being treated the same or getting the same opportunities as another child. I can see my former self in those parents and it makes me sad. I wish I would have realized sooner that this journey is my child's journey and not their friend's or teammates. Her path will be different and that is OK. Of all the girls my DD started competing with, there are only 2 of them left in the sport. It didn't matter that she wasn't moved up at the same rate as her teammates or that she scored lower than most of them for the majority of her career. After almost 13 years of gymnastics and 7 competitive years under her belt, she has now made it to a level that very few kids can claim. She will be competing level 8 this season. She may not go on to college or win any more state titles, but her accomplishments are her own and nobody can take those away from her. If I would have known just a smidgen of what I know now, I think our ride would have been a lot less bumpy.

There are opportunities to do club style gymnastics in college. If she WANTS to, have her check out NAIGC. It might be a great option for her.

 

[Uglybetty]

We are also at the beginning of DDs competitive journey but I'd say "start much earlier and make sure you start at a top gym". Only time will tell if I screwed up my DD's chance but I'm kicking myself for the mistakes I made. I think gymnastics bodies should do a lot more to publicise how important an early start can be!

 

[iwannacoach]

Take care of the kid,the gymnast will take care of herself

I like that!!!!!

Because it's so true.

 

[IreneKa]

We are also still early in the journey, and I too wish we started concentrating on gymnastics sooner, rather than pushing DD into dance. But she was such a beautiful dancer, who knew back then that she would choose gymnastics over dancing?
And if I could go back couple years ago, I would tell myself, go online and log onto www.chalkbuchet.com! I wish I found this place sooner. I could have avoided many early mistake, like switching to our current gym sooner, and not spending the first year in Xcel at the old gym.

 

[LIGYMMOM]

I guess we're still in the first phases of this journey, but I would have let my DD start earlier (at 4 or 5), and start in the developmental (rather than once a week rec) track. I simply didn't know anything about gymnastics and had the incorrect notion that either you did it 1) to casually learn some cool skills that might translate to other sports someday like snowboarding or cheer, or 2) you gave up everything for a long-shot chance at the Olympics (more power to those amazing girls, but to us, that would be 'crazy').

I had no idea there was an "in-between" competitive world to enjoy to whatever extent you like, and possibly even college gym someday as a goal if your journey keeps going that way. I also thought 4 and 5 year olds were still doing those (not-so-useful-looking) Mommy&Me type classes where they play catch with foam blocks and hang from the bar (that's what playgrounds were for in my mind!). My 4 year old could ski tough blue runs and ride a mountain bike up on decent grades and bumps. I thought she was 'above' those preschool classes. I didn't realize that 4 and 5 year olds who already had some strength and coordination were actually doing 'real' gymnastics (!!) - and like a BOSS! ;-) Blew my mind.

Since I didn't think DD would likely be an Olympian (being in the 95-9th percentile for height, not one of those crazy-bendy kids, and not so naturally graceful), my own naivete held her back a little as I didn't even think to investigate opportunities we are now exploring (i.e., team). Turns out the kid does have talent, is strong and driven, and is actually learning some artistic grace (who knew). There is still plenty of time for her to have a fun and fulfilling gymnastics career, but I do recognize that my lack of knowledge is the reason she's a year or two behind her cohort, and struggling with form and flexibility more than if she had started in developmental a little younger. I think it bothers me most when she asks why she didn't start earlier (even though she begged for years). I tell her I'm sorry, mommy just didn't know kids started that early, but how proud I am of everything she's doing now. She's now on track to compete New L3 at age 8.5.

I'm sure I'll have way more compelling regrets later after some new gym mom mistakes We haven't even started competing yet. Thank goodness I learned what a 'CGM' is before then and can at least TRY not to be one!

Whoops I typed a book again..

My DD did start early, and with obvious talent, yet also didn't start competing at 8.5 (old level 4). I guess what I would change is that I would have switched gyms earlier, but when I really think about it, I think that her journey was exactly what it was supposed to be. I kept her in a gym that was elusive and unpredictable with their team, they had a level 4, then they didn't, they had a preteam, then they didn't, things were always changing and DD kept getting the short end of the stick. When I finally moved her, she landed right on preteam where she finally got some decent training, and then she just took off. Maybe she needed to feel the disappointment of the other gym to recognize what she has in her new gym (does that make sense?). She also landed in a group that is just perfect for her so I guess in hindsight I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[reillysmom2]

Add me to the list of wish we had started sooner. It just wasn't available here where we live, and as it is I drive her an hour each way now which makes it difficult on the week I work (I work a week, off a week). It is the only gym within a 2 hour radius of me. Thank goodness for wonderful family members and friends. My DD started at the age of 10 and is 12 now, competing level 7 and is totally obsessed with it. Maybe if she'd started younger she'd be burned out by now if she paced herself the way she does now though.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

Add me to the list of wish we had started sooner. It just wasn't available here where we live, and as it is I drive her an hour each way now which makes it difficult on the week I work (I work a week, off a week). It is the only gym within a 2 hour radius of me. Thank goodness for wonderful family members and friends. My DD started at the age of 10 and is 12 now, competing level 7 and is totally obsessed with it. Maybe if she'd started younger she'd be burned out by now if she paced herself the way she does now though.

wow, to start only 2 years ago and already be at L7 is quite an accomplisment! She must be very driven!

 

[reillysmom2]

wow, to start only 2 years ago and already be at L7 is quite an accomplisment! She must be very driven!

Thank you, she is! She competed level 4 for an entire season as a 10 year old, level 5 last year for most of the season and scored out of level 6 so she would have options this competition year. She has always been a very focused kid, and in one sense I'm glad she's older because she pushes herself and is pretty determined on what she wants to achieve. I am always very careful to not to add pressure, she has a tendancy to add that all by herself and she doesn't need me for that! She has a great coach that knows how to get the best out of her, so I try to just be supportive and keep the wallet open.

 

[gracyomalley]

Marathon not sprint - Marathon not sprint....and not all kids who start early move faster....hindsight always 20-20....my daughter was a Hot Shot at age 5 - competed old level 5 at age 8, did well at state level 7 at age 10...and has now hit fear and puberty....I'm hoping that this second year of level 7 is not "worse" to her than last year....sure some of her friends on the same path are competing level 8 this year with huge Yurchenkos, and some are level 5s still, and many have quit (by far the highest number).....I do wish I'd moved older DS out of rec to another gym in town where he could compete sooner....but then again, until he wanted it, he had more fun hanging out with friends then trying to learn new stuff...so it probably happened as it should. Super important mommy mantra "IT'S NOT ABOUT ME, ITS' NOT ABOUT ME...."

 

[MaryA]

Super important mommy mantra "IT'S NOT ABOUT ME, ITS' NOT ABOUT ME...."

Amen.

 

[mommyof1]

Love this thread--more please!