WAG I'm annoyed

[mOm2gymnast<3]

So tonight head coach just told me that I have to watch what my dd eats.
I have been told this by head coach several times every year since she was in level 2. I am very annoyed to the point of crying because my daughter isn't fat at all. She's short and stocky and yes she has a belly when she eats starch. And tonight she was showing a little belly than usual. Coach called me over to tell me that she can only get so much calories a day. I feel so ashamed because my daughter doesn't even really eat junk. I mean she's a kid so I let her have a candy bar or 2 sometimes. I am so offended. And I feel so sorry for my daughter. To me, she's beautiful and perfect.

 

[CuriousCate]

Gasp! Absolutely not. They can talk nutrition or suggest perhaps you discuss nutrition w her pediatrician but it is NOT in his jurisdiction to suggest that you restrict her calories. How dare he.

 

[M2Abi]

I would likely tell coach where to go. And seriously consider other gyms. No need to create eating disorders.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

My daughter is super strong and very flexible.

Yes she has a belly but she's only 9!

I have been considering going to another gym but it is so difficult. We have develop a strong bond with the gym and the families there. I am afraid to go to another gym.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

That's absolutely not ok. Is he saying these things to your daughter as well? Or in front of her? Or was this a private conversation? Not ok either way, but it's even worse if he's saying it to or in front of her.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

It was just me that was told

 

[txgymfan]

Tell him that you will discuss her nutrition with DD's physician and only her physician. If the head coach is not the owner I would say something to the owner.

 

[duyetanh]

It was just me that was told

Red flag red flag red flag.....sounds like you have already had a few as you are considering leaving already.
Seriously, we would be gone.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

Head coach / owner

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

I need the guts to leave this gym. I don't know what it is but I have so much worry and anxiety about leaving and going to another gym. I'm worried about my daughter... if she feels welcome, feels like she belongs there, etc...

Also my daughter is a lv6 in this gym, she shared with me that if she goes to another gym she would like to be a LV 6. Dd just scored out of 5 last week. She has her 6 beam and floor.

 

[NY Dad]

I believe you had previously mentioned similar comments had been made. Has this been ongoing? How have you addressed this with the coach in the past?

I'm with doodlebug.

it is NOT in his jurisdiction to suggest that you restrict her calories.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

Yes. I'm told about her diet several times now. First when she was in lv2, then last year at lv4 just right at awards
During state. Mind you, my dd scored a 38AA Beating the gym pet that is second yeAr lv4. My dd gets compared to this girl. Who obviously has good genetics! And then diet is mentioned again today

 

[duyetanh]

Sorry to be harsh, but you have been told this THREE times....and you are still there?!?!
I have nothing else to say.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

Sorry to be harsh, but you have been told this THREE times....and you are still there?!?!
I have nothing else to say.

Yes I know... not sure if you read my posts, I am very afraid to go look for another gym. For several reasons, I live in a very small town where everyone knows everybody. Word travels fast, and if we try out another gym, there will be no going back. And I always have this thought, that is it really greener on the other side??? What if, my dd only progress in this gym because of the coaching style, what if my dd doesn't feel like she belong,... too many questions on my end and too many uncertainty.

I am praying that wHatever decision we make, it is the best one for my dd.

 

[txgymfan]

Typically if you have spent over a year considering a change then you have waited too long. Based on CB consensus.

 

[vbdb]

There is absolutely nothing about gym that's worth jeopardizing your child's self image by staying there. Is there really somewhere worse than a gym run by a coach who feels it's their place to discuss your child's eating habits???
You need to go now and don't look back. If you end up at a gym that's worse then maybe gym in your area is awful and your daughter can find another sport. Who cares about her progress or what level she'll be at if she's in an unhealthy environment.

 

[GymDad9.9]

Would you find some comfort in having a private conversation with owner/coach and tell him how unsettling his words have been to you?

 

[ginnymac]

If he has said this to you, about a young child, I would bet that he has said it to his athletes as well. Either directly or indirectly. Please leave.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

You must do everything in your power to get your child away from this coach before he directly sends her this message. I cannot tell you how many eating disorders were started in my sport of swimming by coaches harping on their female athletes about their weight in high school and college. Public weighings, insisting athletic performance would improve if growing adolescents would restrict their calories. Girls fighting their normal body type and weight to achieve athletic gain. No good can come of it, and at worst she could have years of illness and misery. It is just gymnastics. Her body is doing great just the way it is if she is a 9 year old level 6.

 

[coachmolly]

I trained with coaches who were very openly critical of my size/weight for several years. Those comments were absolutely devastating to me, and continued to impact the way I saw myself well beyond the time they coached me. Nothing is worth sticking it out with them. Do your research and find another gym quickly. Your child does not need to spend another season with these coaches.