CuriousCate
Proud Parent
I feel a little lame posting this but I honestly am getting a little frustrated and need some calming advice.
My neighbor is one of my closest friends. My DD is 6 1/2 and her's is turning 9 soon. The two girls have been friends as long as my DD learned to walk and their friendship has been very specal to my DD. They used to play every single evening.
My DD has been doing gymnastics since age 3, competed level 2 last season, just skills tested into level 3. She practices 10 hours a week and has only rarely waivered in her committment. Meanwhile, our neighbor's DD (I'll refer to her as NDD) tries many things and quits generally after 1-2 seasons saying the exact words each time "I don't really like *** anymore."
Anyway, NDD and my DD have always done "backyard" gymnastics (ie cartwheels, bridge kickovers, etc) and NDD is super strong and flexible with a ton of potential. After coming to watch my DD at a meet, she decided that she also wanted to be on a gymnastics team. She started rec classes about 4 months ago and has done awesome but obviously, it will take some time and effort to make a team! She and her parents really don't seem to understand this and keep asking me why NDD is not yet on a team. They have repeatedly used words like "I don't understand why she isn't on a team when she is every bit as good as your DD" or "Why did they give your DD a chance and aren't giving NDD a chance? NDD is every bit as good! It seems like they aren't looking for new talent."
Now it is to the point where NDD no longer comes over and has refused to carpool to school this year, I assume because of this. My DD is so little that she has no understanding of this and is always just super excited to see NDD at the gym working a new skill. She keeps asking me why NDD won't come over anymore and I don't know what to say. I won't play the "people get jealous" card because I don't want my DD getting an ego or worse, repeating my words as 6 year olds do!!
I have tried to explain to NDD and her parents that gymnastics is different than many other sports at this age - you don't *join* a team, you have to work until you meet the skills. NDD is super talented kid and I just keep reminding her parents to advise her that she *just* started and that it will take time to get there. Unfortunately, it has been a weird strain on our friendship as well - especially when they called to very awkwardly tell me that NDD no longer wants to carpool to school with my DD. They fed me some reason about the girls being in different buildings/carlines this year, but they are still at the same school, so I don't see why that would matter.
Phew. After all that - my questions: How would you explain to your DD? Would you address it more directly with the parents and if so, how would you approach it?
Thanks so much in advance!!
My neighbor is one of my closest friends. My DD is 6 1/2 and her's is turning 9 soon. The two girls have been friends as long as my DD learned to walk and their friendship has been very specal to my DD. They used to play every single evening.
My DD has been doing gymnastics since age 3, competed level 2 last season, just skills tested into level 3. She practices 10 hours a week and has only rarely waivered in her committment. Meanwhile, our neighbor's DD (I'll refer to her as NDD) tries many things and quits generally after 1-2 seasons saying the exact words each time "I don't really like *** anymore."
Anyway, NDD and my DD have always done "backyard" gymnastics (ie cartwheels, bridge kickovers, etc) and NDD is super strong and flexible with a ton of potential. After coming to watch my DD at a meet, she decided that she also wanted to be on a gymnastics team. She started rec classes about 4 months ago and has done awesome but obviously, it will take some time and effort to make a team! She and her parents really don't seem to understand this and keep asking me why NDD is not yet on a team. They have repeatedly used words like "I don't understand why she isn't on a team when she is every bit as good as your DD" or "Why did they give your DD a chance and aren't giving NDD a chance? NDD is every bit as good! It seems like they aren't looking for new talent."
Now it is to the point where NDD no longer comes over and has refused to carpool to school this year, I assume because of this. My DD is so little that she has no understanding of this and is always just super excited to see NDD at the gym working a new skill. She keeps asking me why NDD won't come over anymore and I don't know what to say. I won't play the "people get jealous" card because I don't want my DD getting an ego or worse, repeating my words as 6 year olds do!!
I have tried to explain to NDD and her parents that gymnastics is different than many other sports at this age - you don't *join* a team, you have to work until you meet the skills. NDD is super talented kid and I just keep reminding her parents to advise her that she *just* started and that it will take time to get there. Unfortunately, it has been a weird strain on our friendship as well - especially when they called to very awkwardly tell me that NDD no longer wants to carpool to school with my DD. They fed me some reason about the girls being in different buildings/carlines this year, but they are still at the same school, so I don't see why that would matter.
Phew. After all that - my questions: How would you explain to your DD? Would you address it more directly with the parents and if so, how would you approach it?
Thanks so much in advance!!