Maybe she's just not cut out for it. Or maybe mean kids (and adults) just suck.
We just moved from one end of our city to the other so we decided to change ZZ to a new gym. She went in and tried out and it turned out that her skill level was half way between one pre-team group and another. So, the gym decided to put her in the more advanced group because they said it would be easier to modify down than up.
So, ZZ has been at this gym for a month and things have been going pretty well and she has learned a lot in the new group. She has had a couple of crying incidents. One was when she got her first rip and another was when she pinched her stomach on the bar leaving a big bruise. But generally, she has hung in there really well even though she is definately a step behind the other girls. She's come out of practice happy and proud of herself and has been talking about her friends in the group.
So, tonight in the last fifteen minutes of the second hour of practice, she had a complete breakdown. The kids were punching off of the floor and doing front tucks onto a big mat. She wasn't able to make a tuck (more like a roll onto the mat). Then they brought out a big block and put it on top of the mat and the girls started to tuck over it. Clearly she wasn't going to be able to do this if she couldn't do the tuck onto the mat. But, the coach didn't modify things for her at all or have her continue to attempt the original drill.
So, ZZ was clearly feeling bad and getting frustrated. Then, the girls started to laugh at her. So, she started to cry. The coach sent her to get a drink. When she came back and still couldn't stop crying, she told her she had the choice of stopping crying or leaving and not coming back. So, ZZ left and was pretty much hysterical the whole way home. She finally told me the whole story and we talked about how she should have told her coach: a. The drill is too hard for me. b. The girls are laughing at me. We explained that grownups can't know what is going on with you if you don't use your words to tell them.
ZZ by the way is six and everyone involved (including me) agreed that she was not at the same level as these girls and would have to catch up. So, it should not have surprised the coach that she couldn't do this.
So I wonder what I should do now. Should I:
A. Ignore the incident and just bring her to the next practice and wait to see if the gym thinks it is worth talking about?
B. Call the gym and talk to the coach about my concerns? This option risks the coach becoming defensive, blaming ZZ, etc. (I've seen it before with coaches). By the way, this is the one I'm leaning towards. Gymnasts HAVE to be able to work in groups of varying ability and coaches HAVE to be able to work with each girls individual strengths and weaknesses since every gymnast has a weaker event and shouldn't be ridiculed or made to do things that are dangerous for them just because their teammates can do it. Even the fierce five have varying degrees of difficulty in their routines.
C. Decide ZZ is just too soft to ever be a gymnast?
Everyone says that she is very talented. But, it is true that she is very sensitive and not extremely mature for her age.
Any suggestions or just words of commiseration are appreciated.
ZZMom
We just moved from one end of our city to the other so we decided to change ZZ to a new gym. She went in and tried out and it turned out that her skill level was half way between one pre-team group and another. So, the gym decided to put her in the more advanced group because they said it would be easier to modify down than up.
So, ZZ has been at this gym for a month and things have been going pretty well and she has learned a lot in the new group. She has had a couple of crying incidents. One was when she got her first rip and another was when she pinched her stomach on the bar leaving a big bruise. But generally, she has hung in there really well even though she is definately a step behind the other girls. She's come out of practice happy and proud of herself and has been talking about her friends in the group.
So, tonight in the last fifteen minutes of the second hour of practice, she had a complete breakdown. The kids were punching off of the floor and doing front tucks onto a big mat. She wasn't able to make a tuck (more like a roll onto the mat). Then they brought out a big block and put it on top of the mat and the girls started to tuck over it. Clearly she wasn't going to be able to do this if she couldn't do the tuck onto the mat. But, the coach didn't modify things for her at all or have her continue to attempt the original drill.
So, ZZ was clearly feeling bad and getting frustrated. Then, the girls started to laugh at her. So, she started to cry. The coach sent her to get a drink. When she came back and still couldn't stop crying, she told her she had the choice of stopping crying or leaving and not coming back. So, ZZ left and was pretty much hysterical the whole way home. She finally told me the whole story and we talked about how she should have told her coach: a. The drill is too hard for me. b. The girls are laughing at me. We explained that grownups can't know what is going on with you if you don't use your words to tell them.
ZZ by the way is six and everyone involved (including me) agreed that she was not at the same level as these girls and would have to catch up. So, it should not have surprised the coach that she couldn't do this.
So I wonder what I should do now. Should I:
A. Ignore the incident and just bring her to the next practice and wait to see if the gym thinks it is worth talking about?
B. Call the gym and talk to the coach about my concerns? This option risks the coach becoming defensive, blaming ZZ, etc. (I've seen it before with coaches). By the way, this is the one I'm leaning towards. Gymnasts HAVE to be able to work in groups of varying ability and coaches HAVE to be able to work with each girls individual strengths and weaknesses since every gymnast has a weaker event and shouldn't be ridiculed or made to do things that are dangerous for them just because their teammates can do it. Even the fierce five have varying degrees of difficulty in their routines.
C. Decide ZZ is just too soft to ever be a gymnast?
Everyone says that she is very talented. But, it is true that she is very sensitive and not extremely mature for her age.
Any suggestions or just words of commiseration are appreciated.
ZZMom