Parents Moody DD... is this just a phase?

[Kiwi]

My DD is repeating step 5 and her skills don't seem to be improving much, some have actually gone backwards. She struggled with this step last year, came 2nd to last in most competitions, but so far she is not looking like she will do any better this year. I was hoping that another year in the step would mean she could really improve those skills. We changed gyms last term, and she has settled into the new gym okay. The coach is good and I don't think the coaching is the issue here. I ask her if she still wants to do gymnastics and she says she does. She goes off to training willingly enough but never seems very excited or happy about it, it all seems to be just 'okay'. At training she will practice a skill repeatedly but doesn't seem that motivated to try hard to get it right. I wonder if she is just going through the motions.

She has just finished primary school (year 6) and will be starting intermediate school in a few weeks and I think this change is affecting her emotionally (grieving for the old school, fear and uncertainty about the new one), plus she is turning 11 at the same time so I guess hormones could be kicking in as well. As a mum it is hard taking her to training and picking her up 4 days a week when she doesn't seem to be enjoying it. I can't get her to talk about it. I am wondering whether this is just a phase she will eventually come out of. She was at the same school and gym all her life until recently. Maybe it is just the amount of change she is having to deal with? Is it just something that happens to a lot of 10-11 year old girls because of puberty and hormones? Any other parents have experience with similar?

 

[gracyomalley]

DD is almost 12, and repeated USAG Level 7 this year. Moody as all get out over the last year or so. Still loving gym but lots of emotional baggage there and it definitely got in the way of her progression. She just had her first meet and did show improvement over last year, although her competitive mom keeps thinking - only one new skill being competed in 12 months.....(she actually did well as a 10 year old level 7 last year, but was afraid of several level 8 skills and totally lost her confidence)

This is a tough age for girls. So much going on socially, physically, emotionally, etc.....gym can be a grounding influence when all else is changing, and growing from little girl to teen is tough. If she still says she wants to be there, I'd try to just give her time to transition...but its also an age/stage where many quit, so they need to be able to be in charge of this themselves some. What does the coach think?

 

[mariposa]

Don't forget about growth spurts, too. This is the age they are growing and those growth spurts can mess up their skills and with that their confidence.

My daughter is an 11 year old and repeat level 7, too, and has grown a couple of inches since summer. She lost her giants and big beam skills, but has them back now. She isn't as confident as she had been in the past when starting a 2nd season at same level, but she still loves gym and is excited they have meets, so I'm not going to worry too much.

She is definitely moody though!

 

[Kiwi]

Thanks for your replies! I also had that thought that the gym could be a grounding influence when other stuff was changing. Thanks for reminding me about how growing could also be a factor.

To complicate matters she has been doing ballet as well for many years. The gym has just recently changed her schedule for this year, so she will not be able to go to ballet at all, and I think this additional change has added more upset for her. The main issue for her seems to be about missing her friends, as she is such a social creature - this was the hardest part of the gym change for her. I have told her that if she wanted to choose ballet instead of gym that would be okay, but I think she just can't choose because either way means loss of something that's been in her life for so long. It is so hard as a mum seeing your sweet little girl turn into this sullen, sulky creature that just shrugs and grunts!

 

[BlairBob]

Preteen.