my 'bad' attitude

[gymnastflip]

im trainning elite in usa.
i tend to get upset when stuff doesnt go right, or like when stuff is scary(like double doubles)
anyway my coach says i have a bad attitude and that it looks like i dont want to train and that i never have fun, but im just not that type of happy expressive person.
im also a power gymnast
my grace is awful and about a month ago my coach hired a ballet teacher for the whole of the gym. so we do ballet once a weak on a wednesday and i hate it, because i have to do it with a bunch of 10 year olds(im 13) which is embarrassing.
when i do it i laugh at my self because i just look so stupid doing dance, but my ballet teacher(i hate her) told my coach i was being rude and not trying, and trying to make the younger girls not try.
this isnt true
so afterwards my coqch had a chat with me(urgh) and said i was rude to my ballet teacher and that im rude to her.
i feel like im the only one thats wants me to train( my fam aint so keen on it either) and that i cant tell my coach anything....what should i do??

 

[txgymfan]

Could you try to be EXTRA respectful to your coach and teacher? Use polite words and give it your all. Your coach will notice. You can show more respect on this forum by using capital letters,correct puntuation and making an effort to spell correctly.

 

[marie83]

Are you 14 or 13? You say both in your post. If you are 13 I think a certain moderator might have something to say!

I think txgymfan gives some good advice!

 

[cbifoja]

im trainning elite in usa.
i tend to get upset when stuff doesnt go right, or like when stuff is scary(like double doubles)
anyway my coach says i have a bad attitude and that it looks like i dont want to train and that i never have fun, but im just not that type of happy expressive person.
im also a power gymnast
my grace is awful and about a month ago my coach hired a ballet teacher for the whole of the gym. so we do ballet once a weak on a wednesday and i hate it, because i have to do it with a bunch of 10 year olds(im 13) which is embarrassing.
when i do it i laugh at my self because i just look so stupid doing dance, but my ballet teacher(i hate her) told my coach i was being rude and not trying, and trying to make the younger girls not try.
this isnt true
so afterwards my coqch had a chat with me(urgh) and said i was rude to my ballet teacher and that im rude to her.
i feel like im the only one thats wants me to train( my fam aint so keen on it either) and that i cant tell my coach anything....what should i do??

Listen, I'm a teacher and I can tell you that when someone is trying to teach you something, it is because they care and that it is something you need to learn. You admit to having poor artistry and yet rather than use the ballet teacher as an opportunity to get better, you laugh and sound generally disruptive. There is nothing wrong with being in a dance class with kids who are a mere 3 years younger than you. And if you need a ballet class then why not take advantage of it? I mean, are you going to let 10YOs get in the way of reaching your goals????

It sounds like maybe your coach is getting fed up. Do people see you as less mature than other 13 year olds? It seems a little childish to state that you "hate" your ballet teacher just because you don't like ballet. Are there other reasons you "hate" her? I think maybe you should take some time to do some serious soul searching. It might be time to step up to the next level in seriousness/maturity/commitment to training, etc. But ultimately, remember that if your coach is getting on you, it means s/he hasn't given up on you.

 

[Amusibus]

Maybe it's just hard for you to admit to yourself that you are not that good at ballet. I'm like this too- I've never wanted to do things I'm not good at. And it must be hard to not be good at something, as being an elite gymnast, you have probably always been exceptionally good at gymnastics. I am guessing you have always trained with girls your age or older- maybe that's why you are not used to being with younger kids. I get it- but I guess you have to accept that to be a great elite gymnast means you have to learn some grace, even if it does not come naturally. The dance class is your opportunity to do that. Just remember your overall goal of being an elite, and try to ignore your personal feelings about the ballet teacher. Maybe take some time to think over all these things.

 

[Kiwi]

Congratulations on being elite! Your coach just wants you to be the best you can be. You've worked hard to get to elite, so keep working hard even on the stuff that doesn't come as easily to you, such as dance. If you try really hard at ballet you will improve and not look 'stupid' at all, but graceful instead, which is all your coach wants, and I think you do too if you are honest with yourself. Imagine how proud of yourself you will feel when you are dancing gracefully. Don't worry about the younger girls, whatever the age, you are all there to learn and improve, which should not be embarrassing at all. Stay focussed on your goals. Try to be honest with your coach, in a respectful way.

 

[iwannacoach]

im trainning elite in usa.
i tend to get upset when stuff doesnt go right, or like when stuff is scary(like double doubles)
anyway my coach says i have a bad attitude and that it looks like i dont want to train and that i never have fun, but im just not that type of happy expressive person.
im also a power gymnast
my grace is awful and about a month ago my coach hired a ballet teacher for the whole of the gym. so we do ballet once a weak on a wednesday and i hate it, because i have to do it with a bunch of 10 year olds(im 13) which is embarrassing.
when i do it i laugh at my self because i just look so stupid doing dance, but my ballet teacher(i hate her) told my coach i was being rude and not trying, and trying to make the younger girls not try.
this isnt true
so afterwards my coqch had a chat with me(urgh) and said i was rude to my ballet teacher and that im rude to her.
i feel like im the only one thats wants me to train( my fam aint so keen on it either) and that i cant tell my coach anything....what should i do??

Wow! That's quite a vent, and there's a few things I'd like to help you with because I know a little about what you're going through from both points of view.....one as a former hotshot gymnast, and one as a former coach of, well, maybe kinda sorta, aw gee shucks they were pretty good gymnasts.

I started out in the sport with my first three years in a situation where the coach knew nothing about the sport beyond what he learned in college as a PE major. So he knew just enough to let us work the best we could while he learned a little more each year. The problem was that I quickly outgrew his knowlege because I worked my tail off to get as good as I could. The result was that I didn't need his advice on how to learn new skills. I kinda thought I knew it all, and, if you don't mind the comparison, you sound like you know it all too....well you think you do.

Here's the thing.......On my best event I learned nearly every skill....really, every skill in the book but one while this guy coached me, or allowed me to work and do what he could, which was pretty much limited to point your toes, keep your legs straight, you're really sticking your head out, and the classic.....you shouldn't arch like that. I really liked the guy for letting me work as hard as I did and not telling me I couldn't learn this skill or that because they were so hard or risky, but you know what?.....I didn't respect the little bit of advice he gave me about proper execution, and I just continued to learn more skills and become more of a circus act than a gymnast.

I ended up moving on to the next level of the sport, and was fortunate to end up with a coach who had actually tried out for the Olympic team....yes Elfi, he was a part of the conversation, Oh I agree Tim, if he hadn't suffered that knee injury last year he'd definitely be going to the blah blah blah blah.

So here was my chance. I finally was going to be coached by somebody who knew the sport inside and out. Well guess what?.....The first work out I did with him included a little chat about tight legs, pointed toes, head position, and that darn arched back. He told me to concentrate on that as if it was my next new skill, and he physically moved me into the correct posture for certain parts of some of the skills.

I got the message from him that I could have gotten years earlier from the coach who "didn't know enough" to make me listen. Well the new me took the new coach's advice and worked on proper form and positions for all I was worth. The result......In about a year's time I went from being the "local freak show" to one of the best in the country.

So ask yourself some questions. Just how hard is it....really.....to work on parts of your gymnastics that you've ignored for years because you aren't that, no, you're a power gymnast. When are you going to stop throwing away the precious tenths of a point that could be added to your score by adding even a shed of grace to what you do, and really ask yourself this.....are the adults around you being insulted for spending their energy to help you, do you really think they want to invest their hearts and souls just to hold you back and insult your power with ballet classes that surround you with a bunch of 10 year olds.

Let me answer that last one for you with a phrase that's just tearing it's way out of me......If the ballet slipper fits.....wear it. Look, you may not be a vision of grace, and really, that's your fault, but it's a huge mistake and you're selling yourself short when you approach ballet the way you do.....Your ballet teacher and team mates shouldn't have to suffer from your behavior, and really you shouldn't have to suffer by defining yourself as a brick on two feet, you can always improve, and you know that from all that you've learned in the sport.

Lastly consider this....if you're still reading this post it's because you want to either get more angry, or you're searching for the right thing to do. I hope you take my advice as a well intended kick in the pants, because if you are elite material inspite of your attitude about dance and grace, and if you really do have a double double to be afraid of, you must have dreamed, wanted, and worked more and harder than most of the other 180,000 girls that have moved through the sport during your promising career.

I hope you choose to work for, and do anything you can to get to the next level. Sure it's a lot of hard work, but it's sure a blast when you get there, and the sense of accomplishment, self worth, and pride will last you a lifetime.....because you earned it.

I don't know if you want more where this came from, but if you do...........

 

[gymnastflip]

Thank you for the advice. I will try to appreciate what my ballet teacher tells me.... Or rather not laugh at my self

 

[gymnastflip]

Also I think it's because I find it rather embarrassing to do ballet in front of the whole gym... Should I just ignore this?

 

[Faith]

Also I think it's because I find it rather embarrassing to do ballet in front of the whole gym... Should I just ignore this?

Yes. Just bear in mind that nobody watching you will be thinking "omg how bad is she"- work hard and people will be impressed by your progress and work ethic, and be inspired to work harder themselves. Mess about and no-one will care how good or bad you are, as you obviously don't either...

that can be difficult to see when you're a self-conscious teenager . I remember it well!

 

[gymnastflip]

Yes I will try, but it is hard because everyone knows I'm not the grace person, and whenever my coach walks by she comments in a way that makes me feel really self conscious( she sort of laughs at me):s

 

[iwannacoach]

She's being mis-understood......it's probably more like a giggle about how it'll all get better even if it wouldn't make it past the first round of dancing with the stars.....right now anyway. Talk to her about it and you'll see what I mean.

Oh.....BTW......You've shown quite a bit of grace as this thread's progressed. It's never easy to get some advice when it isn't what you expected.

 

[gymnastflip]

I doubt it because she isn't the nicest of people, and talking to her isn't really an option. However I'll just ignore it and see how things go.

 

[iwannacoach]

At least consider the possibility that she cares, no matter how she comes off, cuz there's a softie inside all of us....even those poor souls who think they need to have a toughness about them.

 

[gymnastflip]

I do occasionally see her soft side, and she can be very nice. However, she is very 'dominating', and so discussing things with her is always awkward(for me) because she will just tell all the other coaches.

 

[JessLW]

Trust me, everyone else is too busy worrying about how silly they look doing ballet to worry about how you look.

 

[Kiwi]

You probably look better than you realise. I am in teacher training and I videoed myself taking a lesson, expecting it to be cringe-worthy and full of anxious-looking body language. I was very surprised when I watched the video and saw that I looked and sounded quite calm and collected - not at all how I was feeling on the inside. So be aware that how we come across can be different to how we are feeling. You might think you look 'stupid' doing ballet, but I bet you don't look bad at all, even if you are not the most graceful gymnast in the gym.

Try to focus completely on what you are doing so you don't even think about anyone watching you. You might not become the most graceful gymnast, but you will improve and become a more graceful gymnast than you were before and this will not take away from your being a power tumbler, only enhance your total performance. Do it for yourself!

 

[iwannacoach]

^^^^^^^ That's funny to hear because it's so true. I know it's true because it took ballet for a semester in college to help lock in some muscle memory, and well I just gotta tell you this one "universal truth"........I looked like a goose on roller skates.

I want to add that there's a line in my lengthy post to gymnastflip that was miss typed in the 7th paragraph, and wish I had read through it before posting the darn thing. The particular sentence should have been.....

Look, you may not be a vision of grace, and really, that's not your fault, but it's a huge blah blah blah.......

That's what I meant to say because I never judge a kid for being what they are, or for what they won't try to be, but if they want to try, I'll work my tail off to help them do "the right thing"......whatever that may be.

Sorry about the lousy lack of proof reading, gymnastflip, and thanks for getting the general intent of my post sink in the way it seems to have.